Tag: mental health

What Comes After the Try

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , 28 Comments

The World Series, the New York Marathon, the US elections – we’ve had some really big finish lines in the past couple of weeks. What’s interesting is that I don’t think we talk enough about the letdown that comes after finish lines. With the things that we try, there is often a post-event exhale that is not always easy.

After months of preparing a podcast episode with Melissa Arnot Reid, I expected relief. Instead, I felt exhausted and a little lost. I explore that post-achievement low with this Life of Try episode about goal setting, expectations, personal growth, and making room for rest after a meaningful effort.

Drawing on reflections from therapist Niro Feliciano and research psychologist Dr. Richard Brown, I talk about loosening your grip on outcomes, enjoying the process, and finding contentment in everyday moments—from a cup of tea to a Cheetos puzzle.

In this episode, I explore:

  • The arrival fallacy: expecting a goal to bring lasting satisfaction
  • Feeling proud and tired at the same time
  • Finding small joys beyond achievement
  • Moving toward your next try with kindness rather than pressure

If you’ve finished a project, returned from a long-awaited trip, or reached a milestone and wondered, “Now what?”—this conversation is for you. Please subscribe to The Life of Try, leave a comment with your biggest takeaway, and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to let the effort count. And let the rest count, too.

Links for this episode:

The Arrival Fallacy: Finding Your Way After a Big Goal transcript

Why Do I Still Feel Like a Failure After Reaching a Goal? A Therapist Explains by Niro Feliciano

Post-Achievement Depression: Overcoming the Slump | Psychology Today by Richard Brown

Related Episode

Growth Mindset, Habit Formation, and the Power of Rest

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Why No Summit Can Prove Your Worth

Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , 51 Comments

I firmly believe in the adage, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Still, it’s comforting to read a great book that reminds me I’m not alone—even those who reach great heights struggle within.

As is the case with renowned mountain climber, Melissa Arnot Reid. Melissa has summitted Everest six times – including once in which she became the first American woman to summit without the use of supplemental oxygen and survive the descent.

Impressive, right? But Melissa has written an incredibly touching and vulnerable memoir that reminds us that there is no accomplishment that can prove we are worthy if we don’t already believe it ourselves. Her story is so powerful precisely because she has done extraordinary things and still had to come to terms with her own stuff. Just like with Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild, Melissa’s journey reminds us that sometimes we have to walk a lot of miles just to get to know ourselves.

In this episode of The Life of Try, I was lucky enough to get to talk with mountaineer, guide, and author Melissa Arnot Reid about her memoir, Enough. We explore how writing can bring hidden parts of our lives into the light, why success can disguise inner struggle, and what it means to move from seeking validation to living by our values. Our honest conversation also covers vulnerability, self-compassion, women in male-dominated spaces, nurturing leadership, mentorship, grief, parenting, and the courage to keep showing up when life is hard.

Melissa shares her vision of “mountain goddess” leadership—combining ambition and firmness with tenderness, curiosity, and room for imperfection. She also reveals how the mountains have changed for her: no longer a place to prove herself, but a place to learn, explore, and discover what was already there.

In this conversation:

  • Why we cannot achieve our way into belonging
  • How vulnerability and imperfection strengthen leadership
  • “Mountain goddess” mentorship in male-dominated spaces
  • The power of showing up when circumstances are difficult
  • Moving from validation-seeking to values-driven curiosity
  • Why a summit may reveal us rather than change us

One other note about the power of showing up that we talk about in this episode. After the death of her friend, Chhewang Nima in an avalanche in 2010, Melissa co-founded The Juniper Fund. The fund supports Himalayan mountain workers, their families and communities. As this episode goes live, Melissa in is Nepal doing Juniper Fund work of showing up in grief and support for families that have lost someone while trying to improve the safety margins of Nepali climbers. Link to The Juniper Fund site is below.

If this conversation resonates with you, please subscribe to The Life of Try, leave a comment with your biggest takeaway, and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder that they are already enough.

Links for this episode:

Melissa Arnot Reid on Enough: Why No Summit Can Prove Your Worth transcript

Melissa Arnot Reid’s website

The Juniper Fund: Supporting Himalayan Mountain Workers, their families and communities website

Buy Enough: Climbing Toward a True Self on Mount Everest on Barnes & Noble, Bookshop or Amazon

Related Episode

When You Know You’re Not Going to Make It

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Solving Life’s Problems

Posted in life lessonsTagged , , , , , , , , , , 51 Comments

I keep learning the same lessons again and again. Isn’t it funny when you finally solve something and realize you are a frequent flyer with that particular issue?

My son hasn’t been liking 2nd grade. I couldn’t really figure out why. My guesses were because there are shorter recesses, he has a teacher that’s new to the school, or just basic learning style. So I’ve been trying all sorts of things: biking with him to school, talking with the teacher to see how I can help, organizing lots of playdates and fun after school activities to make life in general better, saying I’d pay him at the end of the quarter if he tries hard.

Nothing I was doing seemed to be making a difference. I finally said to him, “I will never give up trying to make this better for you. But you’ve got to keep trying too.” I thought throwing in the towel on education at seven-years-old was too young.

Finally, because math seemed to be what he dreaded the most, I found a math tutoring place. I kinda winced when I told him we were going there – it didn’t seem like more school after school when he doesn’t like school would go over well.

But he loved it. After our first session there, it was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. After his second time, he asked when he could go back. He was disappointed that it was five days til his next session, so I scheduled him an extra one on the weekend.

And the lesson? Lean-in. When an issue arises, it can be an invitation to do more, not less.

P.S. I have a fantastic Life of Try podcast interview with the phenomenal climber Melissa Arnot Reid that will drop on Wednesday (10/28). Melissa’s memoir, Enough, Climbing Toward a True Self on Mt. Everest is a powerful example of leaning-in to solve what isn’t working on the inside — even when you are meeting with great success on the outside. Please subscribe so you don’t miss it!

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Trying Vs. Hustling

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , 24 Comments

When my son was an infant, he was a good eater and he gained weight quickly. One day, Deirdre, my meditation teacher, overhead one of my family members calling him “chunky.” She objected saying that words matter – even if it was said affectionately long before he was verbal.

My son who is now seven-years-old recently won the “Hustle award” at baseball camp. It reminded me of Deirdre’s comment that words matter. What separates healthy ambition from hustling for your worth?

In this episode of the Life of Try podcast, I explore how effort driven by curiosity and courage feels different from striving for approval. Through insights inspired by Brené Brown and Dr. Vicki Atkinson, I dig in to how to recognize fear-driven productivity, step away from the pressure to prove ourselves, and choose a more wholehearted path to personal growth.

Key Takeaways:

  • How can we recognize when achievement is tied to self-worth?
  • What distinguishes purposeful effort from approval-seeking
  • How can we replace perfectionism with curiosity and courage
  • Use two simple questions (from the incredible Vicki Atkinson) to reconnect with gratitude and meaning

Links for this episode:

Stop Hustling For Your Worth: A Better Way to Grow transcript

In You Must Go: Harnessing the Force of Owning Our Stories by Brene Brown

Victoria Ponders – Dr. Vicki Atkinson’s blog

Related Episode

How to Finally Write the Book You’ve Been Dreaming About with Vicki Atkinson

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Quaker Wisdom – Way Will Open

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , , , 32 Comments

I have so many examples of times I’ve tried to force life to go faster. But out of all of them, I have one clear favorite.

I was trekking to Everest Base Camp with my friends in 2001. We’d flown into Lukla at 10,000 feet elevation and then started the 30 mile trek to base camp. After a couple of days on the trail, we’d reached the charming town of Namche Bazaar and set up camp outside of a tea house to stay for two nights. My friend, Phil, told us this was the first point on the trail that we’d get to see glimpses of Everest.

The next morning I woke before everyone else. I was impatient to see Everest so I set off roaming by myself. After going up and down roads and trails for about an hour, I found a beautiful view and saw the sun rise gleaming off the top of Everest. After enjoying a few minutes of the first light, I headed back down to our camp.

By the time I returned about 90 minutes after I set out, everyone else was awake and starting to get ready for the day. My friend, Phil asked if anyone wanted to see a view of Everest. I joined the group as they walked 5 minutes in the other direction from where I’d gone and got a beautiful view. Doh!!

In this episode of The Life of Try, I dig in to the Quaker wisdom that “way will open”—and the surprising truth that closed doors, delays, and seasons of waiting may be guiding us just as powerfully as forward motion.

Through personal stories about illness, an ending that created space for motherhood, and Parker J. Palmer’s lesson that “a lot of way has closed behind me,” this episode offers a compassionate perspective on how to move forward when life does not go according to plan. I explore how to stop forcing growth before its time, and how to recognize the next honest step when the path ahead is unclear.

Key takeaways:
• How to trust the process when you feel stuck in life
• Why closed doors can provide clarity and direction
• How to practice patience without giving up
• How to keep trying without forcing the outcome


If you’re navigating change, waiting for clarity, recovering from a setback, or searching for motivation to move forward, this reflective episode will help you loosen your grip, trust your timing, and stay open to where life may be leading.

Links for this episode:

Way Will Open: How to Trust Life’s Timing transcript

Quaker Jane’s Glossary of Words and Phrases

Parker J. Palmer’s essay On Way Closes posted at OnBeing.org

Related Episode

How to Get Unstuck in Life and Getting Moving Forward Again with Michael Yang

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo is mine of first light in the Himalaya)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Talking About Precious Things

Posted in friendshipTagged , , , , , , , , 46 Comments

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve have just met.” – Jim Henson

I overhead a tender conversation between my 7-year-old son, Mr. D. and his 7-year-old classmate and friend, M. M came over for a couple of playdates.

Playdate 1:

M as he holds up Bun Bun, Mr. D’s most prized stuffy. Bun Bun doesn’t go anywhere with Mr. D anymore but he sleeps with him most nights: “What’s this?“

Mr. D: “That’s Bun Bun.“

M: “Okay but what is he?”

Mr. D hunts around for the words for his most valued companion that makes him feel safe and centered. Then he finally comes out with, “He’s my stuffie. Like you know…“

Playdate 2 a week later:

M holds up Bun Bun: “Did you bring Bun Bun to show to the class for the five things about you?“

Mr. D: “No“

M: “Why not? Is he just….just too precious?“

Mr. D: “I guess.“

There’s a palpable difference in my son’s ability to find words for things that are close to the heart versus my daughter. She’s always been quick to disclose anything while he quietly struggles to find the right words.

So my hat is off to Mr. D’s friend for his willingness to try to figure out what’s precious. It’s the important work of how to be vulnerable friends. The timing is tricky, sometimes the words don’t quite come out right, but I think the curiosity to know what makes each other tick is some of the glue that keeps us close.

(photos are mine of Miss O and Mr. D at about age 8 and 4)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Just Start

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , , 48 Comments

What’s your worst earworm? I’m not going to mention mine lest I pass it to you. Mum’s the word for that UB40 song. But I recently learned something fascinating about earworms – they can be chalked up to the Zeigarnik effect. Named after a Russian psychologist who first published about this almost 100 years ago — “Uncompleted tasks and unmet goals tend to pop into one’s mind.”

In their book, Willpower, psychologist Roy Baumeister and science writer John Tierney explain the Zeigarnik effect and why songs we don’t like tend to pop up as earworms. “We’re more likely to turn off the bad one in midsong, so it’s the one that returns to haunt us.”

I don’t play any ear worms in this week’s Life of Try episode, but I do explore how the Zeigarnik effect can amplify the power of taking one small, imperfect step. I offer a simple 10-minute strategy can help you overcome resistance, build momentum, and move forward and dig in to why starting before you feel confident can give your mind something useful to work on.

If a goal feels overwhelming, the blank page feels intimidating, or uncertainty keeps you stuck, this episode offers a practical way to begin without pressuring yourself to finish.

In this episode, I cover:
• How the 10-minute rule can reduce procrastination
• Why imperfect action builds confidence and momentum
• How unfinished tasks can keep ideas active in your mind
• Why your own rough first attempt still matters in the age of AI
• How to take the first step when a goal feels overwhelming


Don’t ask yourself to finish it today. Ask yourself to begin it. Set a timer, make one imperfect move, and leave yourself a clear next step.

Links for this episode:

How to Stop Procrastinating and Start: The 10-Minute Rule for Taking Action transcript

Related Episodes

Why Fun is the Secret to Building Better Habits with Mike Rucker, PhD – a Life of Try short

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

The Art of the Conversation

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 56 Comments

I got a message in my email inbox this week from a stranger:

“Hey there, I went ahead and made a whole month’s calendar of social media content.

Can I shoot them your way?”

What? We haven’t even had a conversation?

I’m all for technology – in fact, I’m a computer consultant so my business is technology. But too often we get spun around and start working to fit technology into our lives, personally, professionally and at the corporate level – when it’s supposed to be the other way around — technology working for us.

It feels like technology keeps trying to tell us to speed up. It started long before AI but I feel it more intensely with the pitches that are reaching my inbox like the one above. It makes me so grateful for all that hosting and producing 200 podcasts episodes (135 on Sharing the Heart of the Matter and the rest on the Life of Try channel) has taught me about having deep conversations, slowing down, and making real connections.

In this milestone episode of The Life of Try, Dr. Vicki Atkinson turns the tables and interviews host me about nearly four years of podcasting—and what it takes to keep going.

I share what I’ve learned from 200 podcast conversations. Lessons like:

  • Why authentic conversations require both preparation and presence
  • Why you can’t host and produce at the same time (and it applies to writing and editing as well)
  • Why serving your audience matters more than simply publishing content
  • Creating meaningful work in the age of AI,
  • Finding the right collaborators

Not surprisingly, the best things I’ve learned in 200 episodes relate to conversation and connection, not technology. I appreciate each and every one of you that have listened to an episode. I know how valuable time is and if you’ve spent any time listening to me, and/or Vicki and me, I am so grateful.

If you feel stuck, uncertain, or impatient with your progress, this encouraging conversation is a reminder that growth does not have to happen quickly. One thoughtful conversation, one genuine connection, and one brave try can move you forward.

Links for this episode:

The Art of the Conversation transcript

Victoria Ponders – Dr. Vicki Atkinson’s blog

Vicki’s incredible memoir: Surviving Sue: An inspirational survivor’s story about a daughter and her life with a mother who was riddled with alcoholism, Alzheimer’s, anxiety, depression, and Munchausen’s. – print and eBook

Vicki’s gripping novel: Slivers on Eckhartz Press

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy

How to Finally Write the Book You’ve Been Dreaming About with Dr. Vicki Atkinson

How to Get Unstuck in Life and Start Moving Forward Again with Michael Yang

How to Celebrate Small Wins | Tiny Habits, Resilience & Personal Growth

Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Creating Lift

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , , , 43 Comments

“If you see someone without a smile today, give ’em yours. ” – Dolly Parton

I think one of the most charming aspects of this WordPress community is the generous willingness to share knowledge. Topics like:

P.J. Gudka sharing blogging advice
Dr. Gerald Stein’s insightful essays based on a distinguished career as a psychologist
Edward Ortiz provides Thoughts about leadership, history, and more
Tamara Kulish shares notes about soul-healing
Ab offers a window into disability advocacy
Todd Fulginiti shares his music
Michelle provides tips for and inspiration on decluttering
Dr. Yvette Prior creating incredible anthologies with contributors we know and love,
Shaun sharing daily encouragement
and on and on. It is a remarkable wealth of experience, information and knowledge available to everyone.

This incredible wealth of sharing and curiosity is right inline with my recent Life of Try podcast conversation with Bruce Dorey, PhD. In his book, Lift: Passing the Craft, Bruce provides a research-based framework for how we can mentor and provide lift to others.

A few key takeaways from this conversation:

  • Lift, whether it be for an airplane or in our interactions with others, does not happen in a vacuum. We need to engage with others to have the opportunity to pass on our expertise.
  • Bruce talks about how many of the master artists like Rodin were part of a guild and employed many young artists in the making of art. He surfaces the craftsman model: journeyman, apprentice and master for passing on knowledge. He shares ways we can do that in business, not just the trades.
  • We delve into the power of awe and the innovative way that Bruce uses virtual reality (VR) to incorporate awe into his work rhythm.

If you’re interested in how to become a better mentor, build resilience, use technology more intentionally, find flow, overcome burnout, or create more meaning in your work, this episode offers practical inspiration and a new way to think about growth.

Here are more ways to listen and subscribe:

Links for this episode:

Creating Lift: Leadership, Mentorship, and the Courage to Keep Growing transcript

Lift: Passing the Craft by Bruce Dorey, PhD on Amazon

A Whole New Way to Work: A Map to Freedom and Success by Bruce Dorey, PhD on Amazon

Bruce Dorey, PhD on LinkedIn

 Other episodes you might enjoy

Brand Strategy for Humans with Nancy Martira

⁠Identity Before Strategy: How to Break Through Invisible Ceilings with Kevin Yoder⁠

How to Embrace What Makes You Different | Finding Your Purpose with Kym Gordon Moore

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

The Tides of Life

Posted in life lessonsTagged , , , , , 54 Comments

“The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too.” – Vincent van Gogh

Previously, my favorite metaphor for the ups and downs of life was the carousel. You could see the rhythm, it was predictable, which appeals to my engineering brain, and it went full circle.

But my new favorite is the tide. I think it’s more apt. At the beach where we are staying, right now the tide is extremely low in the morning, followed by a very high tide in the afternoon, a barely noticeable low tide and then another high. Like this:

  • Low tide: -1.54 ft at 8:19am
  • High tide: 9.68 ft at 4:26pm
  • Low tide: 7.58 ft at 8:52 pm
  • High tide: 9.55 ft at 1:23am

And then as it moves through the month, it changes to be not so drastic. The low tide/high tide mark only shifts by about 5-6 feet. Like this:

  • Low tide: 1.48 ft at 3.35am
  • High tide: 7.45 ft at 10:08am
  • Low tide: 4.92 ft at 3.05pm
  • High tide: 9.61 ft at 9:04pm

There are several things that I like about the tide metaphor for life.

When it’s really low, it uncovers a lot of things that you can choose to comb through if you’re willing to get your feet wet.

At the times when the swing is drastic, the highs feel almost overwhelming like they’ll flood you. Also, there’s very little room to walk on the beach.

Life feels calmer when it evens out and the highs and lows aren’t very noticeable. But there isn’t a big impetus to get out onto the beach at any specific moment because they’re roughly the same. If you want to find treasures, it’s going to take a deep dive to get to them.

When the tide is very low, it’s going to be hard to float. You’ll have to work pretty hard to just get out there.

And maybe that’s the point: whenever possible, don’t fight the tides. It will change. Let the water come to you.

(featured photo is mine of the bay at a -1.54ft low tide)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!