Category: inspiration

Things About Parenting That I Think I’ve Learned So Far, Part 3

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“The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen.” – Simon Sinek

I don’t expect any great applause for this but I’ve solved the sock problem I’ve been complaining about since Things About Parenting That I Think I’ve Learned So Far Part 1. Let’s be clear — the socks still go missing, get tucked in between coach cushions and get carried around by Cooper the dog. But I’ve figured out a brilliant strategy: they don’t need socks when they wear Crocs. <ba dum tss!>

So it’s time to update my Things About Parenting That I Think I’ve Learned. My kids are 11 and 7 years old so I still have a ways to go. But I believe we’ve turned the corner. Parenting now is more psychological than physical. It looks a lot like leadership.

So here are the things I’ve learned so far:

It’s a great responsibility being responsible for someone else; pack treats for yourself…and them
Knowing what you are and are not responsible for will save your sanity

Teaching values is done one small act at a time
They are always watching… like when you
– Wave when someone lets you in
– Say “hi” or smile to strangers
– Admit you don’t know it all
– Call the homeless people by their name
– Bow to a Higher Power

There is a time when you just have to say “yes” to the McDonald’s drive-thru

Rarely will the three of us all see something the same way
But we can still exchange stories of what we see while looking in the same direction

Melt downs and spin outs happen
You will be judged by strangers and your kids alike by how you react
Digging deep to respond from your inner calmness usually works better

This generation will never not know life without Amazon and smart phones
That doesn’t mean that they need to get everything instantly or always be connected
But it does mean we will need to let them navigate the world differently than we did

Wear Crocs…without socks!

You can stall for time by time by responding, “That is a great question.” to a kid’s good question.”
If you don’t know the answer, just say, “I don’t know.”
They won’t hold space for not knowing if you don’t.

Good friends make the world go round
Your friends
Their friends
And if you are very lucky, siblings as friends.

Parenting is hard work
It’s okay to lie on the couch and let them paint your toenails now and then

Kids are different
They will likely not like the same foods
Not be calmed by the same things
Have unique capabilities
But still care about the same people, value each other, and respect differences

On the subject of chores — I frequently forget to enlist help for what would be really helpful to me
Overestimated what I need to teach and what they’ll eventually learn on their own
Miscalculated how long it will take
And have plenty more chances to get it right

You will screw up
They will learn more from how you react than if life had gone perfectly

Correction without judgment and anger is more effective
Use fewer words

Respect goes two ways

There is no substitute for being genuinely interested in and liking your kids
Listen to understand not evaluate

How you show up is as important as what you show up for

Life is not fair
We all want it to be… especially kids.
Demonstrate how to reach for hopes and dreams
And if you can, show how to navigate the messy middle.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!



I’m Not Broke, I’m Short of Cash: There’s a Difference

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“If we can be peaceful and happy not only we, but everyone, can profit from it.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I recently discovered the difference between being broke and being short of cash. Coming home after our recent trip to Europe, I thought I was broke. I fell for a scam in processing a travel authorization for the UK that added hundreds of dollars of processing fees. And then there was the day that I had to re-buy the train tickets for a train because we got lost and missed our scheduled one.

So I came home and thought I was broke. However, I have a hard time remembering that. Because I feel rich when:

  • A friend came by and said, “I want to hear about your trip.” And then really listened to the stories my kids and I told her.
  • My mom volunteered to do yard work to get ready for the next round of guests. It happened to rain hard during a thunder and lightning storm while she was working so she came in for a cup of tea and soup and we talked.
  • My almost seven-year-old son kicked a football at the local wading pool and it nearly missed a squirrel which did a hilarious jump. His narrative after the fact made me feel warm from the inside out because of his love for family, “I feel bad for that squirrel. Because I think it comes from a small family. Doesn’t even have cousins.”
  • My almost 11-year-old daughter brushed by me at breakfast and said “I love you, Mom. You are the best Mom.” When I asked why she was compelled to say that right then, she just smiled and shrugged and said, “Because it’s true.”

That’s just a partial list from last week. Just naming these things makes me feel blessed all over again. I learned years ago to never go grocery shopping after meditation class. When I’m filled with the abundance and inner peace that comes from cultivating my connection to God, I forget I have a budget.

And so it is in this case. Since I am self-employed and do contract work, I don’t get paid when I’m traveling. But I’m not broke. I’m just short of cash.

(featured photo from Pexels)

If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Lifting Up The World

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“You must meet outer inner world with your inner world or existence will crush you.” – Mark Nepo

I don’t usually think of golden retrievers as dogs who need ego boosts. But there is a man on our morning walks that gives Cooper so many compliments that he seems to carry himself with a little more panache after our encounters.

We only see this man about once a week because the timing has to be just right. I don’t know his name but I know his dog’s name.

What strikes me about this man is how easily he shares. In a way that isn’t self-absorbed, he’ll tell me of a dog that he’s mourning. Or his first grandchild that was just born. Or if his wife is recovering from a stomach bug. He seems to have a natural energy that just shines on others.

And it has me thinking that maybe it’s because his inner world matches his outer world. He has the gift of being able to sum up in a sentence what’s going on and then move on.

Isn’t it funny that even with strangers we get a sense of who they are? And even in the smallest interactions, they rub off on us. As Cooper would attest, this man is lifting up the world, one genuine interaction at a time.

May we all do the same.

(featured photo is Cooper looking his most confident self)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Activity Bundling – The Fun of Cleaning Up

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“You can’t compete with someone who is having fun.” – unknown

Up until last week I had cobwebs in my kitchen. They were higher than I could reach without a ladder or tool. I’d notice them but always on my way to getting something else done so they persisted.

It was the same with rehanging the hooks in the hallway that pulled away from the wall, the fascia board in my bathroom that came off when the kids climbed on the counter one too many times, peeling off the stickers Mr D applied to the cabinets when he was three-years-old, replacing two of the six light bulbs in the bathroom that used non-standard light bulbs, and on and on.

Because we rented out our house as an AirBnB, we’ve been chipping away at this list of little projects that I constantly noticed but never got done. Our first booking is in mid-June.

The whole project started because we have friends that have lived in France for three years. We wanted to visit them before they move in August. But every time I went to book the airfare this spring, the price jumped because of oil prices and I couldn’t afford them.

I’d been entertaining the idea of listing my house on AirBnB during the World Cup games here in Seattle but it seemed like so much work. But then I read The Fun Habit by Mike Rucker, PhD and his concept of activity bundling brought it all together for me. By combining the adventure of getting to see our friends in Europe with the work of getting the house ready, we could make the whole thing fun. [If you haven’t yet listened to the podcast with Mike, I found our conversation to be as inspiring as his book.]

I figured it was worth a try. Even if we didn’t get any bookings, at least we’d get a fixed-up house.

But then we did get bookings. Now I’ve booked our tickets because we have to be gone and we are madly finishing all these little projects. Michelle from the BoomerEcoCrusader blog is 100% right – decluttering feels great. Mr. D wants to know why we go to the donation center every week with a car loads of clothes, toys and books. Because we’ve had all that stuff pile up too much over the years.

Every night I fall into bed exhausted. But I also feel lighter. Like all those little projects were weighing me down in a way that I didn’t even realize. We’re earning this adventure one step at a time – with the bonus of coming home to a house that has all (or most) of the little things done.

(featured photo is one of our bedrooms after an extensive decluttering!)

Quote is from EnlightenedMind622

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

The Smell of Rain

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“It’s the closest thing we poor creatures have to magic, my dear – the ability to be transported through time by a waft of scent that unlocks a memory.” – Jason Fry

On a recent warm Spring Friday night, my kids and I walked up to a local burger joint. It’s six city blocks away and the walk held its own sense of nourishment as we looked at flowers, stopped to talk with neighbors, and chatted about some of our favorite memories that this route holds. Like the time when Miss O was three-years-old and got a Wonder Woman shaped balloon made for her by a balloon animal vendor at the farmer’s market. Then as we walked home, she rubbed it along a picket fence, popped one of Wonder Woman’s legs, and burst into tears for the rest of the way home.

The weather was in the high-60’s and we scored an outside table under the awning at the local burger place. As we sat there waiting for our food and watching the other people in line, ten-year-old Miss O noticed big splotches of rain dotting the pavement. She said, “I think it’s raining.” A surprise because it wasn’t in the forecast.

And then I was hit with the smell of rain, noticeable even amidst the odor of the bacon and burgers emanating from the restaurant. I replied, “Oh yes, I can smell it.”

Miss O questioned, “Rain doesn’t have a smell. What does it smell like?”

Her query launch a flood (pun intended) of sense memories. The sound of the wooden typhoon boards being slotted into place when we lived in the Philippines when I was a child. The electricity in the air when the weather shifts on a mountain. And from Eastern Washington where I went to high school, the smell of a crop field absorbing the first drops of rain.

As I contemplated the words to describe what rain smells like, she exclaimed, “I smell it!” And I smiled knowing that she was starting her own memory file named The Smell of Rain. The first entry is a warm Spring Friday night in the neighborhood she grew up in.

(featured photo is from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

The Game of Life

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“Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up.” – Michael P. Watson

The other night at Mr D’s baseball practice, the 7 year old boy playing third base made a mistake. They were practicing forced outs versus tagged outs. The third baseman got the ball and instead of tagging third, he threw it to second base.

When he started putting his glove over his face, pacing, and chewing himself out, the coach told him not to worry about it. He said, “Don’t worry about it. Baseball is hard. If it was easy, we wouldn’t play it!”

While the players were getting their stuff together in the dugout after practice, I told the coach later how much I liked his baseball is hard speech. He laughed. In his warm and engaging tone, he told me more about his coaching philosophy:

“Getting practice reps is key to developing the fine motor and gross motor physical skills. Then there is the mental aspect. Learning the rules so you can play without thinking too much.

“Then of course the hardest part, learning how to deal with your emotions when things don’t go well. It’s a lot but also why baseball is such a great sport for kids who like the game. We can not only learn the game but learn how to be a great teammate and learn how to manage ourselves. “

Getting the practice reps in, learning the rules so you don’t have to think too much, managing our emotions, and learning to be great teammates. Sounds like the game of life to me.

When the boy who got upset moved on to practicing catching fly balls, he made up a chant to encourage others. If someone missed, he’d yell, “Great try, [player name]!”

I think he’s going to do fine in baseball…and life.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

The Long View of Life

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“A heart that loves is always young.” – Greek Proverb

My kids and I attended a memorial service for a 98-year-old friend, Jean, this past weekend. There is a lot of life to honor when someone lives that long.

It’s tempting to do it by what she did: she was a mother to four children, a member of her church for more than 70 years, she was an elementary school teacher, and when she retired from teaching, chose to work at the information booth at the local mall for more than 20 years.

Or by what she loved: she loved to play bridge and to cook. She cooked for the church youth group every week for 4 years and then published a cookbook of how to feed large groups.

But what struck me most was the quality of her relationships. She made friends wherever she went. In fact, I didn’t get to know her well until she was in her 90’s. Jean made the effort to reach out to me with little things she passed along from her family to my kids. I wrote a post about her in 2021 when she gave me a copy of the cookbook she published in the 1980’s. There was a woman at the service who had been a friend of Jean’s for 94 years.

But Jean’s life wasn’t just a walk in the park. Forty years ago, one of her daughters was murdered by a stalker when she was in her late 20’s. Going through that ordeal was when Jean got to know my dad so I know she forged relationships in good times and in bad.

Here’s what I loved about going to Jean’s service. It was a reminder to me that even when life seems complicated, messy and hard, we make it through because of the relationships we build. And it’s never too late.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast where guests share what they’ve lived and learned!

Local Relationships: The Key to Thriving in an AI World

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“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I was out walking Cooper last week when a neighbor stopped me and asked me what I thought about AI. She and her partner are retired therapists. They have a brilliant young son who works in high-tech so I think she was looking for reassurance more than she wanted information.

In my middle class neighborhood in Seattle, there’s a lot to worry about these days. The layoffs at Microsoft and Amazon have hit hard. They are posts in the grocery stores about eco-anxiety groups. The school district is worried about measles outbreaks. Folks are wondering if Seattle is on the short list for an ICE surge.

But amidst all this uncertainty, I witness concrete examples of people offering to help, creating systems to protect the vulnerable, coming together to make life easier, and celebrating the things when things go right.

As an engineer, I can think of many ways AI will change things but I am not a prognosticator. This moment with AI feels a lot like when the Internet was new to businesses. Everyone raced to get a public facing website up and use all the new HTML codes as they were released. Kinda like all the AI offerings and proliferation of bots we see now.

But as the 2001 Internet bubble burst attested, no one really knew how the Internet would be used. It has come to showcase some of the best and worst of humanity. I suspect AI will do the same.

As we carried our portable chairs away from the Seahawks parade last week, Miss O said to me, “I love our community.” I asked if she meant Seattle. “No, Seattle is good but I meant all the people we met at the parade.” In the three hours we spent waiting and waving, we formed bonds with others by sharing our space, snacks, and footballs.

So I told my neighbor that I think that AI doesn’t change the fact that our biggest impact is rooted locally and in the here and now like it was for us at the parade. We can find our inner peace, cultivate our faith in God and others, and keep showing up. I believe that it’s important to work to advocate for the environment, businesses and government we want. But what makes an immediate difference in our lives and in the lives of others is creating relationships, showing kindness, and doing the next right thing. And AI doesn’t change that.

P.S. One thing that keeps me hopeful is the amazing podcast conversations I’m lucky enough to have with people whose stories reflect their struggle – to survive, to understand, to thrive – all while sharing what they’ve learned. In tough times like these, episodes like these keep me believing that love will win.

(featured photo is a red heart that provides a beacon of hope in our neighborhood)

Did I Do Enough Today? Embracing Daily Accomplishments

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“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” – Albert Einstein

At the end of yesterday, I looked at the three holiday cards that I intended to send off this week and grimaced. I didn’t get them done.

And yet at the end of the day I asked my 10-year-old daughter if she’d had a good day and she said, “Yes, and it’s all because of you, Mom.”

I don’t know if I can take credit for that but I did take four kids to the Museum of Flight (my two kids and a friend each). I fed everyone, did the laundry, took Cooper the dog for two walks, touched base with a few friends, and even managed to take a shower, meditate, and create some calm to carry with me throughout the day.

But I still looked at those cards and asked the question that I frequently wrestle with, “Did I do enough today?”

The answer that I usually come to is that I did as much as I could and it was enough. I might not be changing the world or getting things done at the pace I would like, but I show up and will eventually get where I’m going. I’ve done a lot of work to accept that as enough. Thank goodness I manage to sleep at night so I can start again the next day.

So here’s my question to you – do you ask yourself, “Did I do enough today?” And if so, what’s your answer?

(featured photo is the Space Shuttle Trainer at the Museum of Flight)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing!

Clearing the Path for Healing

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“On an airplane, you are always told to put on your oxygen mask first. The same way in life, you need to take care of your health first. If you are not happy and healthy, you cannot make anyone else happy and healthy..” – Rajashree Choudhury

About ten days ago, my friend got a hip replacement and was staying with us in the initial recovery period. My beloved neighbor who was a physical therapist for 40 years came over to give him tips. The one that caught my ear was to make sure he had a clear path.

He was talking about how to successfully navigate with a walker. I noticed the advice because we were trying to find a way to help. In a house with me, two kids, a 2-year-old dog, a cat, and a crested gecko, the floor is often cluttered. Not that the cat and the gecko have much to do with it. It was a good reminder to tend to the Legos, stuffies, and balls that regularly find their way to the floor.

But it also struck me as it’s such a great way to think about what we need in times we are repairing ourselves, inside and out. Sometimes  we need to make sure we have a clear path for healing. To Lego of the grand ambitions, to clear the stuffies from our calendars, and to stop juggling the balls that are thrown our way.

My friend did a lot of thoughtful preparation for his hip replacement recovery. He parked his car in a different spot so people could come pick him up and drop him off with ease. He left a key outside the door so that others could let themselves in. Things to clear the path as he recovered.

As I learned when I got sick last week, we don’t always have the time to prepare to heal. But we can clear the path to assist our recovery when we need it.

(featured photo is Cooper the dog doing his best as a therapy dog)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing!