Tag: mindset

Support Without Pressure: Why Effort Matters More Than Results

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“Give light and people will find the way.” – Ella Baker

The other day, my six-year-old son, Mr. D, announced that he wasn’t going back to finish out the last 12 days of first grade. After some delicate probing, I discovered he was worried about a math test.

It’s hard to know what to say to help in a situation like that, isn’t it? And what does real support actually look like—especially when someone is struggling, failing, or figuring things out?

So in this episode of The Life of Try, I explore how to support others without adding pressure, and why focusing on effort instead of outcome can make all the difference.

Whether you’re a parent, coach, friend, or teammate, it’s easy to unintentionally turn encouragement into expectations. But research—and stories from figures like basketball coach John Wooden and psychologist Carol Dweck—show that when we shift our focus to effort, persistence, and growth, we help people stay in the process longer and build real resilience.

This episode dives into:

  • Why it’s often harder to watch someone try than to try ourselves
  • How subtle signals can create pressure without us realizing it
  • The difference between encouragement and expectation
  • How to support kids, friends, and colleagues in a way that builds confidence and persistence
  • Practical ways to reinforce effort, not just results

And fortunately this research helped provide me a roadmap to help with Mr. D’s math test. I reminded him that he’d already done the work and practice and so the test was just like a baseball game. All he had to do was do his best.

If you’ve ever wondered how to truly support someone you care about—especially when things aren’t going well—this episode offers a powerful reframe. Because sometimes the best support isn’t helping someone succeed… …it’s helping them keep going.

Here are some other ways you can listen and watch this episode:

Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

In this episode of The Life of Try, host Wynne Leon talks with Wall Street Journal bestselling author Barbara Nickless about her new psychological suspense novel, A Voice in the Dark. Their conversation moves from the dark corners of online gaming and internet manipulation to the real-world vulnerabilities of teenagers, families, and people searching for belonging. Barbara shares how deep research, FBI consultants, and her own curiosity shape her fiction, especially as she writes about FBI profiler Helen Belle, criminal humanist Benedict Hoffman, addiction, trauma, and the question of what draws people toward danger.This thoughtful author interview explores how storytelling can help us understand complicated human experiences, including moral injury, PTSD, addiction, grief, law enforcement, cybercrime, and the healing power of writing. Barbara also reflects on teaching writing to military veterans and civilians, researching dangerous places and difficult subjects, and using narrative to “de-other” people we might otherwise misunderstand. Key Takeaways:→A Voice in the Dark explores the dangers young people can face in online communities, especially when vulnerable teens and young adults are targeted by manipulative influencers.→Storytelling can help us “de-other” people by taking us inside their motivations, histories, and struggles in ways that facts and news stories alone often cannot.→Curiosity is at the heart of Barbara Nickless’s writing process. Her research into online gaming, FBI investigations, addiction, trauma, and moral injury helps make her fiction vivid, compassionate, and grounded in real human experience.→Researching modern crime fiction requires balancing accuracy with readability, particularly when writing about cybercrime, AI, online manipulation, and evolving law enforcement tools.→The conversation highlights a core Life of Try theme: trying begins with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to enter unfamiliar worlds in order to understand ourselves and one another more deeply.If you love conversations about books, personal growth, curiosity, crime fiction, psychological thrillers, resilience, and what it means to keep trying, this episode offers a rich and compassionate look at the stories that help us make sense of ourselves and one another.📘 Order A Voice In the Dark: https://www.amazon.com/Voice-Benedict-Hoffman-Helen-Belle-ebook/dp/B0FTGGHSWL/🌐 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more: Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on: personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.ABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ 48: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive➡️ How to Finally Write That Book You've Been Dreaming About | Writing Motivation
  1. Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story
  2. Embracing What Makes You Different | Kym Gordon Moore
  3. Motive + Means = Opportunity: A Life of Try Story
  4. How Writing Helps Us Survive Chronic Illness and Loss
  5. Near Death, Deep Faith, New Life | Liza Anderson’s Extraordinary Story

Links for this episode:

Other Episodes you Might Enjoy:

⁠ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving⁠

4⁠8: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive⁠

⁠How to Reclaim Fun in Adult Life | Mike Rucker, PhD, on Joy, Burnout and the Fun Habit⁠

(featured photo from Pexels)

Lessons in Persistence: A Child’s Perspective

Posted in ParenthoodTagged , , , , , , , 75 Comments

“Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.” – unknown

On any given sunny day, it’s not a question of if we’ll hit something over the fence, it’s a question of which fence. In fact, six-year-old Mr. D hits baseballs over the fence so often, we call them “neighbors” instead of “homers” because they are our opportunity to visit our neighbors.

So it was no surprise that on one of the many warm and lingering light evenings last week, Mr. D and I were playing in the back yard and lost a stomp rocket over the fence. But it went into our neighbor’s yard that is not next door but lives on the street behind us. Those retrievals mean we have to either walk around the block to knock on the door…or try to retrieve it without leaving our yard by leaning over the fence to grab it if it hasn’t fallen too far.

On this occasion, we looked over the fence and saw the stomp rocket was stuck in a tree and almost in reach. So Mr. D tried to use a rake to get it. It fell lower.

Then we got out the duct tape, created a sticky end of a pole and tried to grab it. It was two inches too short.

By this point our yard was strewn with the ladder, rake and every other tool we’d considered for the project. I decided to attempt one last thing by using the extendible branch trimmer. I touched the rocket, it shifted, but I didn’t get it.

So I said to Mr. D, “We should just walk around and get it from their yard.”

He looked at me and said, “We can’t give up now!”

I had to chuckle. Serves me right for teaching my kids to try and to not give up. Then they parrot it back to me at all the important moments.

I gave it one more try and bingo, we got it.

I’m still laughing. And am taking it as confirmation that I chose the right name for my podcast, The Life of Try. 🙂

(featured photo is Mr. D during the retrieval process)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Creating Without Elbow Grease

Posted in thelifeoftryTagged , , , , , , , , , 50 Comments

“Do the difficult things when they are easy and do the great things when they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

What if “trying” doesn’t have to mean pushing harder?

I’ve been in a flow state often enough to know it exists but not so often to know how to reliably get there. Is it really possible to regularly create — to write, to connect with others, to co-author life in a way that doesn’t leave me sweaty and tired? My guest on this week’s podcast had some insight about finding flow. Even if it falls into the category of easier said than done, it’s the quietness of the approach that makes me think it’s possible

In this Life of Try episode, I talk with author and New York Insight Meditation Center co-founder Joseph Schmidt about The Torchbearer—a collection of short stories born from an unexpectedly effortless creative process. Together we explore the mindset shift from effort to openness: how letting go of the agenda can create space for insight, transformation, and a deeper, more alive way of meeting each moment.

  • Try smarter, not harder: why forcing outcomes can block creativity—and what changes when you partner with the process instead.
  • Mindset shift to “empty hands”: Joseph’s Zen chaplaincy training and the practice of entering a room (or a moment) without an agenda.
  • Personal growth through discovery: how his characters—and we as readers—find the next move by noticing what’s already here.
  • Feeling alive at the edge of the unknown: mindfulness as the place where consciousness meets what happens next.
  • Belonging as a practice: building a bond of belonging by showing up with curiosity, care, and presence.

If you’ve been working hard but feeling flat, this conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, step back into the present, and discover a more natural flow—one where growth comes from attention, not strain. Listen in for a gentler (and often more powerful) way to create, connect, and keep beginning again.

Here’s great clip of Joseph describing the lesson he learned from a Zen monk about a powerful mindset shift:

This is a great episode if you’re craving a mindset reset, rebuilding your creative confidence, deepening a mindfulness practice, or simply want to feel more awake and engaged in your everyday life.

Here are some ways you can listen and watch this inspiring episode:

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

In this episode of The Life of Try, host Wynne Leon talks with Wall Street Journal bestselling author Barbara Nickless about her new psychological suspense novel, A Voice in the Dark. Their conversation moves from the dark corners of online gaming and internet manipulation to the real-world vulnerabilities of teenagers, families, and people searching for belonging. Barbara shares how deep research, FBI consultants, and her own curiosity shape her fiction, especially as she writes about FBI profiler Helen Belle, criminal humanist Benedict Hoffman, addiction, trauma, and the question of what draws people toward danger.This thoughtful author interview explores how storytelling can help us understand complicated human experiences, including moral injury, PTSD, addiction, grief, law enforcement, cybercrime, and the healing power of writing. Barbara also reflects on teaching writing to military veterans and civilians, researching dangerous places and difficult subjects, and using narrative to “de-other” people we might otherwise misunderstand. Key Takeaways:→A Voice in the Dark explores the dangers young people can face in online communities, especially when vulnerable teens and young adults are targeted by manipulative influencers.→Storytelling can help us “de-other” people by taking us inside their motivations, histories, and struggles in ways that facts and news stories alone often cannot.→Curiosity is at the heart of Barbara Nickless’s writing process. Her research into online gaming, FBI investigations, addiction, trauma, and moral injury helps make her fiction vivid, compassionate, and grounded in real human experience.→Researching modern crime fiction requires balancing accuracy with readability, particularly when writing about cybercrime, AI, online manipulation, and evolving law enforcement tools.→The conversation highlights a core Life of Try theme: trying begins with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to enter unfamiliar worlds in order to understand ourselves and one another more deeply.If you love conversations about books, personal growth, curiosity, crime fiction, psychological thrillers, resilience, and what it means to keep trying, this episode offers a rich and compassionate look at the stories that help us make sense of ourselves and one another.📘 Order A Voice In the Dark: https://www.amazon.com/Voice-Benedict-Hoffman-Helen-Belle-ebook/dp/B0FTGGHSWL/🌐 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more: Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on: personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.ABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ 48: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive➡️ How to Finally Write That Book You've Been Dreaming About | Writing Motivation
  1. Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story
  2. Embracing What Makes You Different | Kym Gordon Moore
  3. Motive + Means = Opportunity: A Life of Try Story
  4. How Writing Helps Us Survive Chronic Illness and Loss
  5. Near Death, Deep Faith, New Life | Liza Anderson’s Extraordinary Story

Links for this episode:

The Transformation That Changes Everything transcript

The Torchbearer: and other Stories of Borderline Redemption by Joseph Schmidt on Amazon

Joseph Schmidt bio – New York Insight Meditation Center

(featured photo from Pexels)