leadership – Surprised By Joy

The Digital Version of Trust, But Verify

February 23, 2026February 21, 2026Posted in writingTagged confidence, data, leadership, microsoft, safety, security, trust70 Comments

“Trust is built on telling the truth, not telling people what they want to hear.” – Simon Sinek

There is something that is bothering me about the Nancy Guthrie investigation. For anyone that hasn’t followed this, Nancy Guthrie is the 84-year-old mother of Today show host, Savannah Guthrie. Nancy was abducted from her home in Tucson, Arizona in the middle of the night on February 1^st.

When she was first abducted, the news reported that no images were captured by her Nest doorbell camera because she opted out of the recording service.

Then sometime about 10 days later, some footage from the camera was “recovered.” I hope that provides some great investigative leads and helps to bring Nancy Guthrie home safely. But three things strike me as troublesome.

That data was not supposed to exist. Users should be able to opt out of that service and be assured that recording is not happening.
Nest is owned by Google. Their competitor, Ring, is owned by Amazon. Two companies that have spent billions on AI. [To be fair, Ring says that it doesn’t record if people opt out.]
When the AI bubble bursts, will either Google or Amazon need a bail out from the government? And if so, what will they be willing to trade for that help?

I generally tend to believe that companies do the right thing for their customers. This is definitely the case with Microsoft. Not only because I have so many good friends who work there, but also because I’ve been helping companies implement MS software for more than 30 years.

I tell my clients not to transcribe or record sensitive meetings they hold online. Microsoft says they understand that clients should be able to choose what is and is not recorded.

Back in the day when software ran on machines that companies owned, we could check. Now that so much operates from “the cloud,” there isn’t any way to effectively do that.

Ronald Reagan used to quote the Russian proverb, “Trust, but verify.” We might need to start a movement to do just that.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing!

Standing Up for Democracy: Lessons from Kids

October 6, 2025October 6, 2025Posted in inspirationTagged authenticity, community, democracy, leadership, life, mental health, parenting, politics, relationships, writing70 Comments

“To understand where you stand in own your life, you cannot remain seated.” – Christine E. Szymanski

I can rely on my kids to have a nose for what’s authentic. At 6 and 10 years old, they might not be able to tell me exactly why, but they can tell the difference between people who are phoning it in and others who are genuinely present.

At the end of the day this past Saturday, I asked them what they liked most about the day and what they could have done better. It’s part of our nighttime routine. Unless we are so tired that we’ve flipped our lids. That happens sometimes too.

They both answered that their favorite part when we went down to the little lake that is a five minute walk from our house and participated in a Stand Up For Democracy event. The organizers were trying to gather enough people to create a continuous loop of people to encircle the lake which is three miles in circumference.

What surprised me about the answer was they liked that even more than watching the Mariners down at the pub with our friend, Eric. Or playing with their friends, skateboarding, or building imaginary spaceships.

My kids can’t yet spell out the details of what makes a democracy, monarchy, or autocracy. But they can tell the good feeling of standing up for what matters and the sense of community that comes from people trying to quietly show their commitment. It’s authentic, it’s strong, and it feels better than worry.

I think they’ve got that right.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

How to Share: Secrets of Collaborative Leadership

October 1, 2025September 30, 2025Posted in howtoshareTagged collaboration, communication, how to share, leadership, mentorship, passion, team building, technology40 Comments

“The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and the self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

I played on a tennis team when I was in my 20’s. It was a loosely organized group of women who played at the public tennis courts. We were part of a league that created matches with other teams, some of whom were the “fancy” ones who belonged to a club with a pro.

But my team had a secret weapon: our coach, Evan. A quiet-spoken man who seemed to take everything in. He’d meet with us at practice and not only run drills to improve our skills but also strategically position who should play singles versus doubles, and forehand versus backhand.

I don’t remember our records of wins and losses so it probably wasn’t that great. But I know we got better as a team and also as individuals. It was largely because of Evan. He could see our strengths and vulnerabilities and help us position them to the best advantage.

I was reminded of Coach Evan when I recently talked with John Hernandez, the Director of IT at Leisure Care on the How to Share podcast. John has an incredibly collaborative leadership style and knows how to balance giving people on his team leadership, agency, and backup when needed.

In short, he’s a very good coach for a strong team.

John told me how he landed on this leadership style and how it’s worked as his team and responsibilities have grown. We talked about how people in technology can sometimes be protective of their knowledge and not want to share. And we discussed how AI changes the game for so many people in technology and how to wrangle it as an asset, not a competitor.

I asked John about how he adapts his message for people who are less technical. He brought it back to the power of telling a story and finding key beats, regardless of the topic.

This is a great episode about how leadership, openness, curiosity translates to infectious passion for sharing – and for team building. I know you’ll love it!

Takeaways

John emphasizes the importance of sharing knowledge to build effective teams.
A collaborative leadership style fosters a culture of openness and mentorship.
Technology professionals often hoard knowledge due to fear of job security.
AI is changing the landscape of IT, enabling more collaboration.
Storytelling can help convey complex technical concepts.
Creating a supportive environment encourages team members to grow.
Passion for technology can be infectious and motivate others.
Adapting messages for different audiences is crucial in IT.
Building a knowledge-sharing culture can lead to better team dynamics.

Here’s a clip of John describing how he landed on his leadership style:

Here are some ways you can listen and watch this infectiously energizing episode:

The podcast player embedded below
Click this link to watch in a browser: Secrets of Collaborative Leadership with John Hernandez
Subscribe to How To Share on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Subscribing to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@howtosharepodcast

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

Secrets of Collaborative Leadership transcript

How to Share Advocacy with Sam Daley-Harris Part 2 – How To Share

In this conversation, Sam Daley-Harris talks with Wynne Leon and Vicki Atkinson and unpacks how transformational advocacy fits alongside other forms of activism like protests, litigation, and voter mobilization—and why it can succeed even when Washington seems paralyzed by shutdowns and partisan conflict. Sam shares some concrete examples from global health and environmental advocacy, offer insight into how citizens are working to reverse damage and protect the most vulnerable, and—perhaps most importantly—explain how anyone can be effective, even with just five to fifteen minutes a day. If you’ve ever wondered whether your voice can really matter, this conversation offers both clarity and hope. And Sam offers to be a guide to help you connect to the issues that matter most for you. We love talking with Sam because he shares how to be effective and counter the effects of fear, cynicism and loneliness. We know you’ll love this conversation! Links for this episode:Transcript for How to Share Advocacy Part 2Sam's Sign-up Sheet for resources on how to get startedReclaiming Our Democracy websiteReclaiming Our Democracy: Every Citizen's Guide to Transformational Advocacy, 2024 Edition on Amazon

Links for this episode:

John Hernandez on LinkedIn

How to Share Recaps

August 27, 2025August 26, 2025Posted in howtoshareTagged blog, collaboration, communication, humor, leadership, life, personal sharing, podcast, podcasts, storytelling, vulnerability, writing61 Comments

“‘Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkergaard*

I learned a powerful lesson about twenty-five years ago when I climbed Mt. Ixtaccihuatl in Mexico. The guides brought along a roll of crepe paper – lightweight, colorful, and paper, not plastic. At every decision point they tied a small bit of crepe paper to a tree branch or stick.

When I asked for more detail about route-finding, a guide told me that when we make the choices about which fork to take, we often forget to turn around and look at what it will look like coming back. He pointed out that the light, the contrast with the surroundings, the angle, it all looks different on the return. What we think is memorable going one way looks completely different when we turn around.

This rings true for me in life as well. I’m often so focused on the route ahead that I forget to take a moment to reflect on what I’ve learned. When I do pause, I find that looking back at the choices I’ve made or the a-ha moments that have mattered help me to take them in more deeply.

So in this episode of How to Share, we have a playlist of some of the incredible insights that have been shared in the last sixteen episodes. The lineup of amazing guests have taught us that:

Authenticity matters: In leadership, outlook, communication and receiving, it’ll ring false if we don’t show up as ourselves.
Slow down and celebrate the wins: Whether you are taking on a big task, changing the world one letter at a time, or preparing for a significant test, slowing our roll to remember our successes provides fuel for the next leg.
Storytelling is vital: Stories move us. One thru-line from all our successful guests is that being able to passionately pitch a story or idea leads to inspiration, openness, and movement.

These clips remind us that to collaborate we need to know ourselves, remember who we are talking to, and to convince anyone including ourselves, we need to be able to tell a passionate story

Takeaways

Reflecting on past choices enhances our understanding of the present.
Vulnerability is essential for effective leadership and collaboration.
Failures should be viewed as learning opportunities, not setbacks.
Audience awareness is crucial in effective communication.
When sharing life’s challenges, it’s okay to remember the story is about the person with the challenge.
Digital security is important in managing personal information.
Humor can bridge gaps in communication and foster connection.
Experiencing life at a slower pace allows for deeper connections.
Optimism can blind us to potential risks and challenges.
Seeing the risks can help you couch the negative into a better action plan
Reducing the friction between ambition and achievement and remembering your successes
Cynicism can prevent us from taking action and engaging in meaningful change.

* I also love the Steve Jobs variation on this quote: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.“

Here’s a clip from this compendium of insight:

Here are some ways you can listen and watch this packed-with-goodness episode:

The podcast player embedded below
Click this link to watch in a browser: How to Share Recaps
Subscribe to How To Share on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Subscribing to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@howtosharepodcast

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

How to Share Advocacy with Sam Daley-Harris Part 2 – How To Share

Links for this podcast:

Brian Hannon’s blog: Writing from the Heart with Brian

Vicki Atkinson’s blog: Victoria Ponders

Michelle Oram’s blog: Boomer Eco Crusader

Finding Happy by Peter Samuelson

Mark Petruska’s blog: Mark My Words

Rise Above the Script by Albert Bramante

(featured photo from Pexels)

How to Share Direction

June 18, 2025June 17, 2025Posted in howtoshareTagged Brene Brown, how to share, leadership, podcast, success, vulnerability59 Comments

“A leader is anyone who holds him or herself accountable for finding potential in people or processes.” – Brené Brown

Years ago I was talking with a man who was a member of the last church my dad led. Were we talking about my dear father and the man quipped, “You can’t say ‘no’ to Dick Leon.”

I had a good laugh about the truth of that statement. My dad asked a lot of people to do a lot of things – serve on committees, volunteer, contribute to a capital campaign. And if you said, “no,” it wasn’t that my dad would judge you, get mad, try the silent treatment, or blackball you. It was worse.

He’d get to know you.

When I talked with him about his leadership style, my dad told me:

“One of the problems that I see with a lot of young pastors is that they’ve been attracted to the ministry because they have seen someone up front doing a nice job preaching or teaching and they love the presentation side.

I keep saying to them, ministry is in the details. It’s getting systems that work in terms of management of the church, people who want to get involved, you want to make sure that they have a meaningful task and that they are rewarded, listened to, and that they feel befriended.

One of the things that I would often teach is when you have an elder that is going to give themselves to leadership for three years, the question you should ask yourself is, ‘At the end of the three years, do these people love the Lord, love the church and love their sense of ministry more than when you met them?’ It’s not ‘How do I put up with them for three years?’ but ‘How can I help them grow as people during their three years?’

It changes the whole sense from how do I get my things done to how do I serve these people? How do I befriend them? How can I help them? How do we nurture them? With a committee or an elder or a deacon or an officer of the church, you’ve got a window into their life that you’ll never have again so how do you use that? How are you doing? What is going on in your life? How can I be of help?”

Yeah…very few people said “no” to Dick Leon. But it’s a hard example to put into action, especially in different industries or scenarios. When heading a volunteer team full of big personalities or working within a competitive company where everyone is super smart, how do you bring that same attitude of empowerment and sharing?

To answer that question, I recorded a How To Share podcast conversation with my friend and climbing buddy, Doug Hauger. Doug had a very successful career as a technology executive and leads personal and professional projects with a similar style to my father’s.

In this episode, Doug and I talk about the intricacies of leadership, emphasizing the importance of sharing, vulnerability, and empowerment. We explore how confidence plays a role in leadership, the necessity of embracing uncertainty, and the dynamics of team interactions, especially when faced with challenging personalities. Doug shares insights from his extensive experience in tech leadership, highlighting the value of wisdom and the importance of creating an environment where team members feel empowered to share and learn from failures. The conversation culminates in the realization that true leadership involves being open, vulnerable, and willing to adapt, ultimately leading to a more liberated and effective leadership style.

We also tell quite a few climbing stories which are very good analogies for leadership success and direction.

Takeaways

Leadership requires confidence and the ability to embrace uncertainty.
Being open to feedback is crucial for effective leadership.
Vulnerability fosters trust and encourages team sharing.
Successful leaders create an environment of two-way communication.
Wisdom and experience are essential in guiding teams.
Empowering others leads to a more productive team dynamic.
Acknowledging failure is part of the learning process.
Humility allows leaders to learn from others.
Navigating team dynamics requires transparency and honesty.
Lack of transparency can add weight that hinders success and leadership effectiveness.

This is a great episode that delves into the heart of sharing power and the power of sharing. I know you’ll love it!

Here’s a short clip from our episode to give you a taste of the great conversation with the always amazing Doug Hauger:

Here are some ways you can listen and watch to the full episode:

The podcast player embedded below
Click this link to watch in a browser: How to Share Direction with Doug Hauger
Subscribe to How To Share on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Subscribing to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@howtosharepodcast

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

How to Share Advocacy with Sam Daley-Harris Part 2 – How To Share

Links for this episode:

Doug Hauger on LinkedIn

(featured photo is a picture of Doug and his daughter atop Mt. Adams – one of the climbs we talk about in this podcast)

How To Receive

May 28, 2025May 27, 2025Posted in howtoshareTagged communication, communicationskills, leadership, listening, podcast, relationships81 Comments

“If you want to be truly understood, you need to say everything three times, in three different ways. Once for each ear…and once for the heart.” – Paula Underwood Spencer

Eight years ago at a birthday party for a friend, I met a remarkable woman. It was a milestone birthday which is why I can pinpoint it that precisely.

This woman stood out not because of what she did (a therapist I later learned) or what we talked about (stand up paddle boarding in Puget Sound) but because she listened like a lake. That was the image that came to me when talking with her. She absorbed the conversation instead of volleying back and forth like tennis. Also it seemed like her words came from her depth.

It reminds me of a phrase I heard in a eulogy almost three years ago. We were honoring a man who was the father of a childhood friend. His grandson said about him, “He loved by listening.”

Two examples that stand out in the last ten years because they were great listeners. I often make the mistake of thinking I need to say something to be remembered – but these examples remind me that just learning how to listen well is remarkable in itself.

Fortunately, I was able to have a great conversation with my dear friend, Dr. Vicki Atkinson about how to receive for the How to Share podcast. In this episode, Vicki discusses the essential skills of listening and receiving in conversations. She emphasizes the importance of reflective listening techniques, being present, and using the SLANT method to enhance communication.

Our conversation explores how to navigate conversations with empathy, the role of affirmation, and the significance of maintaining boundaries while supporting others. Vicki also highlights the growth opportunities that arise from effective listening and the need for authenticity in communication.

Here are some key takeaways:

Everyone can learn how to be a better listener (as Vicki says, the runway is wide!)
Reflective listening helps slow things down and enhances understanding.
Tonality is crucial in reflective listening to ensure the speaker feels heard.
Active listening involves being present and engaged in the conversation.
The SLANT method is a practical approach to effective listening.
Asking clarifying questions shows genuine interest in the speaker’s message.
Affirmation and encouragement are key components of effective listening.
Setting boundaries is important to avoid taking on others’ burdens.
Listening well can mitigate stress and prevent larger issues.
Authenticity in communication fosters trust and connection.

And a short clip from the episode to whet your appetite:

I’d be honored if you’d listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe. Here are some ways you can listen and watch to the full episode:

The podcast player embedded below
Click this link to watch in a browser: How To Receive with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
Subscribe to How To Share on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Subscribing to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@howtosharepodcast

How to Share Advocacy with Sam Daley-Harris Part 2 – How To Share

How to Receive with Dr. Vicki Atkinson transcript

Links for this episode:

Dr. Vicki Atkinson at the ⁠Atkinson Group Solutions⁠; Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

⁠A is for Ambivalence⁠ by Vicki Atkinson

(Featured photo stems from Vicki’s comment about the Chinese ideogram for undivided attention in this episode. It’s sourced from undivided attention from Pinterest by Nancy Sherr)

Leadership Lessons From Climbing

June 24, 2024June 23, 2024Posted in life lessonsTagged climbing, encouragement, enthusiasm, friendship, leadership, love, relationships47 Comments

“Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

We went to Mt. Rainier this weekend and spent two nights at Paradise Inn, one of the historical National Park Lodges first opened in 1917. It’s has no Wi-Fi connectivity: instead it has this fantastic lobby area where guests can hang out by the fireplaces, listen to ranger talks in the evening, find a majestic wood table and play cards, or post a postcard in the “mail stump” – a huge stump next to the registration desk. The rooms are like tiny postage stamps in which you have to be creative about where to hang your wet clothes.

Paradise Inn is at 5,420 feet and is the entry point for most of the guided climbs. There are many routes up the mountain, but this is the route I took for the times I climbed on Mt. Rainier (summit is at 14,410 feet). That sounds like I did a lot, which is not the case – four climbs, two of which we summitted. But I did spend a lot of time doing training hikes on the paths out of Paradise.

Arriving at Paradise was like plugging myself into a higher voltage circuit. I don’t think I stopped grinning all weekend. So, buckle up for some climbing metaphors….

My friend Eric traveled with us this weekend. He did a fair amount of climbing back in the day as well so between the two of us, we have a fair number of climbing stories.

Leading my kids out for a couple of hikes this weekend reminded me of all the good and bad things about hiking with a group. The path up from Paradise starts out paved. But at this time of year, it was still covered with slushy snow.

Eric had a story about a guy he used to climb with named Dave. Dave was 6’3” with size 13 shoes. Apparently, everyone cheered when Dave was leading because he’d kick in the best steps. When the snow is fresh or icy, the person in the lead does the work to kick in solid steps. It’s like doing two or three stomps with each step. It’s exhausting. But for the rest of the team, if the steps kicked in are nicely spaced and solid, it’s a far easier experience, somewhat akin to climbing a set of stairs.

And that’s just one factor in which the person leading can affect the whole group. Going at a steady pace, not too fast and not too slow, and calling breaks at the right time all help everyone settle into a rhythm. Then there’s also the matter of encouragement.

I remember a practice climb on Mt. Rainier I did years ago when I felt totally spent halfway through. My friend encouraged me to take a break to eat and drink before deciding whether I could continue. He was absolutely right – I was totally fine to continue. Great guides are so good at making this call, knowing who needs to take a break and who needs to turn back. It’s not a one-size-fit-all encouragement train.

And climbers have great phrases to encapsulate the down sides, not that they own them by any stretch. There’s “Embrace the suck” to encourage leaning in when the going is tough. And there’s also the acknowledgement that someone has to carry the poop bucket – literally and metaphorically, our stuff goes with us.

Funny that my happy place is one where all those realities, including the suck, are parts of the experience.

Leading my own little team reminded me that life is better when we kick in steps for others, set a sustainable pace, and get a feel for when to encourage and when to walk alongside others when they need to go down to camp.

(featured photo is mine: Mt. Rainier taken from Paradise)

Family Dynamics

June 19, 2023June 18, 2023Posted in UncategorizedTagged family, leadership, Lifestyle, relationships51 Comments

“Gotta move different when you want different.” – unknown

Last Monday I got frustrated with Miss O when we were getting ready for school. Or should I say, not getting ready for school. I prompted her five times to get her shoes on, she got mad at me for repeating myself. I told her that I wouldn’t have to repeat myself if she would put her shoes on…nothing new. I’m sure a conversation that happens between kids and parents in households all over the world since the beginning of time. Or at least since shoes became a thing.

So we were both irritated when I dropped her off to school. And then Mr. D was silent as we drove on. By the time we walked in the front door of his pre-school, it was clear that he was upset. We sat in the chairs outside his classroom for a while, and then had a tearful drop-off which is unusual for Mr. D.

This has happened enough times for me to discern the pattern – Mr. D is so attuned to the emotions of the household that any disturbances in our mostly good natured vibe affect him, even when the upset doesn’t involve him.

Wow, families are complex. Now I don’t have to just be responsible for my own emotions but also the impact that I’m having on the group and vice versa?

I think about what it was like in my family growing up. My sister was usually upset about something, my brother was tired of hearing her complain and just disconnected, and I felt that I needed to be no problem since my parents were having to deal with my sister. It’s a pattern we maintain, by and large, to this day.

My mathematical nature likes patterns – they are so useful to predict what will happen next. But sometimes patterns just hold us in a mindless call and response. Until one person breaks out by saying, “I’m so tired of this banter that keeps us from saying anything real,” the other person(s) in the pattern may not realize there is something habitual that has been holding everyone in place.

Thinking back to my little family, I think this applies too. When I get tired of the same conversation about the same shoes, I’m always surprised how effective it is to change the dynamic by changing the order. Shoes before breakfast helps break the stalemate. What’s harder is changing the natural tendency that Mr. D has to carry the tension. Maybe that’s a case of where making it visible helps to dispel it. Hopefully that works because we aren’t going to stop wearing shoes.

I’ve written a companion piece on the Heart of the Matter blog about some advice I got from a friend long ago to never back a kid into a corner and instead always offer them a way out: Building Bridges to Each Other. Please check it out if you have a moment.

(featured photo is a pair of Converse high tops that Miss O got as hand-me-downs)

Take Me To Your Leader

March 20, 2023March 19, 2023Posted in inspirationTagged leadership, management, potential, vision52 Comments

“The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and the self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Can you picture the best leader you’ve ever worked for or witnessed? If your experience is anything like mine, I’m guessing that’s a quick question to answer because I think good leaders are fairly rare. People that can competently manage are more common and it seems, at least in the tech industry, the field in which I’ve always worked, that they are often given leadership positions because they can bridge the divide between technology and vision. Against that field, the folks that can really lead shine like stars in a dark sky.

Years ago I was part of a team putting on an event for which Jeff Raikes was the keynote speaker. At the time, Jeff was a senior VP at Microsoft and he’d later go on to be president of Microsoft and then CEO of the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation. I was a consultant responsible for the technology of the event so not directly or indirectly part of Jeff’s team but we all worked long hours getting the show polished.

Jeff had come in for a rehearsal late one afternoon and then was back the next morning for another practice. At that second practice, someone handed him his script and it didn’t include the edits from the evening before. Jeff exploded, throwing the script, screaming at the person who handed it to him, and then marching off the stage. As immature as it seemed – this was reportedly par for the course for Microsoft whose top management team was filled with people GREAT at speaking to vision but often tantrum-driven managers.

In contrast to that, I’m thinking of my friend, Dave, as the best leader I’ve ever worked for. I’m going by Brené Brown’s definition of a leader, “anyone who holds him or herself accountable for finding potential in people or processes.” Here are some of the things that made Dave stand out for me:

He rarely spent any time at his desk. His absences had two benefits. First, they allowed his people to solve their own problems instead of running to him. Those solutions were often better because they were engineered from the inside instead of dictated from the outside.
Secondly, Dave wasn’t in his office because he spent the majority of his time managing up. Instead of waiting for meetings to deliver news about progress, good and bad, he used regular and informal conversations so nothing was surprising to his management.
Dave cared about the growth of his people. So, if someone wanted to try something outside their normal lane, he was all for it. He’d ask how he could help – and not just at the beginning but on an ongoing basis.
The most remarkable thing about him was that Dave wasn’t scared. When we encountered setbacks or side discoveries, Dave led from a place of courage. One of his favorite books was Rules for Revolutionaries by Guy Kawasaki. Mixing things up to see what boundaries or mindsets could be torn down seemed to be Dave’s favorite role – and he exceled at it.

As a bonus, Dave is funny and has some of the best aphorisms I’ve ever heard. People or solutions who don’t deliver were “all sizzle and no steak.” And when talking about how to find customers is “looking for someone who had pain and the checkbook in the same pocket.” Dysfunctional teams are “goat rodeos.” And I learned from Dave, goat rodeos are a real thing for young kids to practice their rodeo skills before they graduate to horses. He says, “Once you’ve seen one, they are the perfect analogy for a disastrous team or situation. The goats always win. 🙂 “

It’s been more than 20 years since I’ve worked for Dave but I still think of him fondly and often as the example what we can do when we work from courage instead of fear. And maybe that’s the mark of a true leader – they leave a lasting impression!

I was inspired to write this post after a recent encounter with someone who wasn’t demonstrating leadership skills. It pushed me to wonder – was this person doing his best? I’ve written about that on my Heart of the Matter post today: Doing the Best I Can.

(featured photo from Pexels)

The Vibe of the Group

February 7, 2023Posted in inspirationTagged Brene Brown, group dynamics, inspiration, leadership58 Comments

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” – Booker T. Washington

In my job as an IT consultant, I get to be the fly on the wall of other people’s businesses and watch how organizations work (or not work together). In the twenty-five years I’ve done this, it’s become a game to figure out the personality of the leader based on the vibe of the group. Or vice versa, if I meet the leader first, and then I try to guess the vibe of the group.

In a large organization like Microsoft, I might work with a group that is harsh and quick to blame and when I meet the manager, it’s no surprise that he’s a complete jerk – and willing to wear that persona on the outside.

I’ve seen it in so many ways: if the group is loud and comical, the manager is likely the life of the party character; if the group vibe is nerdy and quiet, then the manager is often brilliant and introverted.

So I was fascinated recently to work with a small company of independent, self-starters who felt to me as if they were disconnected and uninterested. They were all doing really great work but when the language switched to what the company was doing, it felt flat.

And then I met the leader — someone who was saying all the right things about being a great group of people but frequently only used “I” language. As in, “what I’m looking to accomplish, this is what I’m good at, and here’s what I need.”

Over a few months, I’ve watched how that is reflected in meetings and their work. If the leader is doing something, he wants to know how he did and will share his metrics. But if anyone else presents or finishes a project, he rarely comments or even seems to notice.

Brené Brown defines a leader as “anyone who holds him or herself accountable for finding potential in people or processes.” I come back to that definition again and again because I’ve seen many styles of leadership – and tried it myself. Groups seem to be more successful, no matter what the persona, as long as the leader is interested in something bigger than themselves.

As Booker T. Washington says in the quote for this post, if we lift up others, it will lift us up as well. In many ways that is self-serving – but the paradox lies in the fact that if people are truly self-serving, they can’t do it authentically.

My little game keeps me entertained and less nervous when I’m meeting a group of new people. But it has also taught me, again and again, that who we are influences the people around us in ways that we might not even know. And if who we are is someone who lifts others up, it’s rippling out in a vibe to everyone around.

(featured photo from Pexels)