Tag: relationships

To Pick Up or Not to Pick Up

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“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.” – Epicetus

During an early morning walk with Cooper the dog a couple of weeks ago, I noticed a dog poop that hadn’t been picked up. It sat on the little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street in front of a house a couple streets away from ours.

So I picked it up. And then the next day, I found one in nearly the same spot. I picked it up.

When it happened the third day, something clicked in my head that reasoned that the odds that it was an owner walking their dog and not picking up in the exact same area every day were too great. Instead it was more likely that someone in that house has a dog and was letting them potty out front.

I didn’t pick it up.

Putting up with other people’s sh!t is tiring, isn’t it? And yet, it seems to be a fundamental part of being part of a country and community. Now that’s food for thought. Happy Memorial Day!

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about how to share anything – to the appropriate audience, with the right permissions, at the most opportune time.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

Best Mother’s Day Gift

Posted in love, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , 68 Comments

“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” – Brené Brown

As I type this, I can hear my kids 10 feet away slurping their hot chocolate. It’s the end of a busy weekend. We had our family over for Mother’s Day and now are winding down.

I’m trying to put my finger on the feeling. Over the course of the weekend, in addition to hosting a family party, my kids and I played a lot of baseball, done chores, cooked meals, watched movies and worked on a project outside to transform an area of our back yard. That last activity involved a lot of manual labor as we dug out a flat space and installed pavers to turn what used to be the base of the kids’ playhouse into a cozy place to sit in the garden.

In the last 48 hours, we’ve hurt our knuckles on the rough paving stones, cried some, especially when we lost our baseballs, and laughed a lot more than we cried. Along the way to finishing our project, we also bought this silly ball pitching machine that sends small 1.6 inch diameter foam balls zinging across the yard at 30 miles per hour. My body aches from moving heavy stones and gravel and chasing small yellow balls.

But my heart is so full. It’s the camaraderie with our extended family. Also this feeling that I’m right where I should be. I love my children whole-heartedly…and I like them too.

When I chose to start a family as a single parent ten years ago I had very little idea of how much work would be involved. I was listening to a God whisper about what came next for my life.

The Mother’s Day feeling I’m having right now? That I belong in this life. I suspect that might be one of the best gifts ever.

(featured photo is mine of our work in progress garden seating area)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast focused on the wisdom and research about how to share anything – to the appropriate audience, with the right permissions, at the most opportune time.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Living Life Fully

Posted in friendshipTagged , , , , 64 Comments

“Some pursue happiness, others create it.” – unknown

Writing a going away card for our neighbors that are moving back to England forced me to put words to what makes them so special. When they moved here three years ago and their kids were 5, 7, and 9 years old, what was most noticeable were their charming accents.

But their charm ran a lot deeper than that. They came to Seattle with a spirit of adventure. The dad’s job allows him to work anywhere in the world. I heard the mom describe their decision making process of looking at the whole globe and choosing Seattle. The water, the mountains, the green drew them in.

So luckily they landed in our neighborhood – right on our street! I met the kids when I was helping out with school picture day as I escorted anyone that was new to the school or out sick on regular picture day down to the photographers. In the process I met these three delightful children who were verbosely happy and excited to be here.

But here’s what was so inspiring about them. They weren’t just happy and adventurous people when they landed. They maintained it for the three years they lived here and by doing so they enraptured our whole community.

I’d see them after a break and they’d have taken a road trip down through Oregon, California, Nevada and back up through Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, and Idaho. The mom would joke that they’d rolled in at 11pm the night before school started again so she wasn’t going to win any Best Mum awards for that.

They did things like climbing to Camp Muir on Mt. Rainier, and spending one holiday at a dude ranch. One holiday they went to Las Vegas and let each of the kids pick a show to see for their night. Then they spent the rest of their time exploring the wilderness near Red Rocks.

It was like without the ruts of having lived in the area long enough to know their favorites, they were free to bounce around and try everything. And the same went for friendship. Not knowing anyone meant that they were open to meeting everyone.

The Buddhists and Stoics talk about contemplating our demise as a way to live more fully. It strikes me that my neighbors exemplified an aspect of this. They likely knew they’d return to England at some point so they lived this adventure to the fullest while they were here.

Here’s what I finally landed on for their going away card. This family with their adventurous, happy and authentic hearts was a gift to us and our community. They reminded us how many wonderful places, experiences and people are around when you are willing to look. And because openness translates to any language, a blessing wherever they go.

May we all be.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I co-host a author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

A Mini Blog Tour

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“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real…to be honest…to let our true selves be seen.” – Brene Brown

A few years back I proposed/threatened/promised that I wanted to one day pack my kids and dog into an RV and go on a tour to meet blog buddies. The WordPress community really is so amazing for incredible stories, big hearts and willingness to interact.

While that tour is mostly a fantasy, I’ve been lucky enough to meet so many bloggers through Zoom when we’ve done podcasts. I’ve enjoyed these conversations with people that feel like they are already friends immensely.

On top of that, I’ve been fortunate to meet a number of WordPress friends in person over the years. Playwright Jack Canfora, artist Libby Saylor, Deb (Closer to the Edge blog), and Betsy Kerekes (Writing and Martial Arts blog). Unfortunately, I’ve not yet met my podcast partner and dear friend, Vicki Atkinson (Victoria Ponders blog) in person. But I was lucky enough to meet Vicki’s brilliant and delightful daughter when she came to Seattle.

When the incredible and effervescent Cindy Georgakas (Uniquely Fit blog) said she was coming to the Seattle last weekend, I jumped at the opportunity to spend a few minutes with her as well. My kids, Cooper the dog, and I piled into the car to do a mini blog adventure to meet up with her near where she and her family were staying.

Cindy confessed that her family didn’t think her blogging friends were real. Not only was it fun to prove that notion wrong but it’s also pretty amazing to discover that our blogging friends are pretty much who you’d expect them to be based on their writing.

Jack is witty, Libby is passionate, Deb is whip-smart and charming, Betsy is clever and strong, and Cindy is authentic and inspiring. Seeing that depth in person makes me even more grateful for the realness of this lovely community!

(featured photo taken by Cindy Georgakas)

Take One Day Away

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“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” – Maya Angelou

I’m typing this post on a Sunday morning while sitting on the floor of a hotel room as my kids sleep. This weekend, we didn’t have any events scheduled, the weather was unpredictable, and March doesn’t have any holidays so we made up a get away of our own. On Saturday afternoon we checked into a hotel for one night. It has a pool and is less than 1 mile from our house.

It sounds silly as I type this but I swear the psychological benefits are real. We walked away from all the regular stuff – homework, practice, pet care, cooking, and cleaning – to change it up for 21 hours. This small shift has reminded me that all that we carry isn’t as immoveable as it sometimes seems.

The kids have explored every feature of our 300 sq feet hotel room and spent quality time watching the freeway because the room is fun but not all that scenic. We’ve splashed and swam in the pool, and are about to head down to a FREE all-we-can-eat breakfast buffet.

I know it’s not really free but it still feels freeing. I wonder how many restorative breaks are waiting for us on the other side of silly?

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

All You Have to Do Is Ask

Posted in confidenceTagged , , , , 93 Comments

“Our problem is not that we aim too high and miss, but that we aim too low and hit.” – Aristotle

Last week, nine-year-old Miss O came home from school disappointed that she’d missed the opportunity to sign up for her school Glee Club. Apparently we’d missed the memo.

So I suggested that we contact the music teacher to see if we could join now. “No,” she moaned, “we’re too late.”

I doubled-down with the parenting trope “It never hurts to ask” but apparently Miss O was sure that it would.

I remember being about Miss O’s age when my mom told me to call the store I wanted to shop at to ask when they would close. I was completely intimidated. It took a lot of drama and role-playing practice. When I finally did it, I discovered that it was a pretty straightforward query.

So I’m completely clear on the many reasons we have not to ask for what we want. I still feel twinges to this day. Asking might reveal that we weren’t on the ball or should have already known. What if we are being disrespectful or disruptive? Perhaps it’ll bring unwanted attention on ourselves. And what if they say ‘no’? What if they say something I don’t know how to respond to?

But despite all this, I remembered late that night to send an email to the music teacher. She responded the next day that she’d be delighted to have Miss O join. In fact, she’d already let Miss O know when she’d seen her that morning.

When I picked Miss O up from school that day, I gleefully said, “Wuhoo, you got in to Glee club! See, you just have to ask.”

She laughed and said, “Yep.” And then she added, “What do you do in Glee club anyway?”

Oh dear – that’s next week lesson: know what you are signing up for before you do so. It’s a lesson I’m still regularly learning…

(featured photo from pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Those Pesky Bugs

Posted in authenticityTagged , , , , 81 Comments

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” – Mark Twain

Heads up: this post might bug you.

Oh boy, there are so many great puns about lice. I’ve been thinking about that because we got them last week. Lice, that is, not puns. Well, maybe both.

Funny thing about lice is that they come with an acute sense of shame. This has been going around the school – and seems to be worse after the classes rotated through the bike unit in PE. But even knowing that AND after finding out that four other families from our school were booked at the treatment clinic, I still felt it. It must be a powerful trigger of the fear of community ostracization.

I managed to get over it long enough to tell the school, the teachers, and the families we’d played with recently. Like I’ve found with my other vulnerabilities, it turns out that sharing came with a blessed sense of camaraderie. Most families with elementary school kids have gone through this and the parents had hilarious stories.

There was the family who had sent their three kids to a camp in France. The whole camp played a game where they passed a hat so that the hat wearer got a turn to speak, sing, or dance. Every single kid in the camp came home with lice.

And a mom told me the story of having to go to the clinic to be checked. As she was sitting in the chair getting her hair combed out, a former work colleague came in also to get checked. He launched in to a long conversation with her despite her best, “Can we talk another time?” face.

Someone shared a hilarious video with me that mapped the lifecycle of a mom’s feelings about lice: the shame, the fear, the disgust, the exhaustion, the acceptance.

It makes me scratch my head to wonder why I need to keep learning that being vulnerable results in benefits. I mean benefits in addition to immediately knowing the washing machine cycles answer in a recent NY Times Connections game because I’ve spent so much quality time with my washer in the last week.

These things that come with life aren’t easy. But when we put our heads together, [oops, don’t do that], they can be at least a little funny!

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Inter-generational Impact

Posted in podcastTagged , , , , , , , 53 Comments

“I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.” – Beatrix Potter

I’ve mentioned these details before but every once in a while I’m reminded of how remarkable it is that:
– In 2014, I made all the final arrangements to get pregnant via IVF on November 6th and thought, “Wow, life is about to change.” And then on November 7th, my dad died in a bike accident and I thought, “No, not like that!”
– Ten months later, I finished the line edits on the book I wrote about my dad at 8pm and seven hours later at 3am, I went into labor with Miss O

I’ve always known their stories are inextricably tied. But it is fascinating to see Miss O’s understanding of that evolve in ways that I can’t predict. How her perception of the grandfather she next met grows is really cool to see. It’s like a sneak peek into the inter-generational impact from the Beatrix Potter quote for this post.

This coming Sunday, March 9th would be my dad’s 90th birthday if he were alive. Vicki Atkinson and I sat down with my nine-year-old daughter, Miss O in Episode 106: The Miss Factor with Miss O. to talk about him.

Miss O was given a fourth grade class assignment to write about a perspective change. When she came home with this short essay about my dad, I was stunned.

She reads the essay to us and tells us what inspired her. Clearly I have a personal interest in this but at a bigger level, it’s fascinating to see what kids take away from family stories.

Vicki asks about how Miss O finds her voice and is so good at teasing out why it’s so meaningful to hear it from her perspective.

When we dig in to what Miss O knows about her grandfather who she never met, it’s both interesting and endearing to see the impression she’s gleaned of my dad. It’s also really funny to see the many ways they are alike.

Miss O talks about what she is doing next. Namely, making a slime channel on YouTube kids. As Miss O says, she is passionate about slime and she wants to share her creations. Fortunately, for all us we have boundaries – the slime has to stay in the rec room and she’s only showing her hands.

We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we talk about family stories!

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 106: The Miss Factor with Miss O

Episode 106 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father, Finding My Father’s Faith that I wrote in the months after he died and before Miss O was born.

(featured photo is my dad and me at age 2)

Widening the Circle of Compassion

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“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.” – Albert Einstein

On Monday night after the kids went to bed, I was outside in my pajamas wearing my hat with the built-in head lamp sorting through the dirt of a terrarium. In a moment of sanity, I thought, “What the eff am I doing?”

On one level, it was easy to understand what I was doing. I was trying to find our pet snail after the terrarium accidentally slid off the shelf when five-year-old Mr. D tried to put it up. We’d cleaned up the dirt and put it back in the terrarium but didn’t see Snail-D, also known as Gary, when we did. Since it happened during the middle of dinner time and on bath night, we hadn’t had time to return to try to see if he’d survived the fall.

So maybe the better question was why was I doing it? I have a limit to how much I can do in a day. I often say that I’m off the clock after the kids go to bed. It’s when I finally get some downtime. While I will sometimes do the dishes, I try to be pretty good about just having a cup of tea and reading a book.

We hadn’t intended to adopt another creature but Mr. D discovered Gary the snail crawling up the side of our entertainment center. He must have come in on the cat’s coat. So, it seemed like he’d found us and Mr. D was really excited about having his own “pet.” I didn’t think we’d manage to keep him alive for a day. But now, a month later, Gary seems to be thriving.

Until the accident, at least. I have to admit, I have come to sort of like Gary. He’s pretty social anytime the kids get him out of his terrarium. And he eats all my left-over lettuce.

But I suspect that the real reason I spent my me-time on Monday night looking through the dirt for Gary was because life is precious and precarious. Deep down I know the conditions of my life could change because of an accident or because of the whim of a whacky autocrat.

So helping others, even mollusks, also helps me to feel better.

You’ll be happy to know that Gary survived.

(featured photo is Gary before the accident)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Suffering

Posted in love, UncategorizedTagged , , , 63 Comments

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I don’t often think about my ex-husband, for better or for worse. [Yes, that was a marriage joke. 😊] After we divorced, he got married to his third wife. I discovered, once I wasn’t married to him, that I did want kids and had them on my own.

But something I read the other day made me think of something he said fifteen years ago when our marriage was unravelling. “I suffered so much as a kid that I don’t want to suffer any more now.” It was his excuse for not wanting to do the work to figure out the why of his infidelities.

He did suffer as a kid. His parents divorced when he was three years old. His mom remarried a man that ended up going to prison for bank robbery. He was in high school and living with his dad and his dad’s third wife until his dad and step-mom left town in the middle of the night to move 1,000 miles away without telling him because they were in trouble with the IRS.

My ex was a smart kid. He figured it out and managed to work his way through college to create a different life than his parents.

Here’s what I read that made me think of my ex:

“While I am not a victim, I didn’t ask for certain shaping experiences to happen to me. I didn’t ask to be slapped or ridiculed as a boy or to be mistreated by lifelong friends later in life. In truth, If I had experienced different things, I would have different things to say.

What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for distortion or illusion. In this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.

To voice things as they are is the nearest medicine.”

— The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo

That meditation helped me to understand that the point of cleaning our wounds isn’t to suffer more, it’s to heal at that deeper level.

Here’s the funny thing. In not wanting to do his work, my ex made me want to do mine. He’s right – there’s too much suffering in this world. I was motivated to heal my wounds so I don’t thoughtlessly create others.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.