Tag: kindness

A Man and His Not So Good Day

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“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.” – Desmond Tutu

This past weekend my kids and I had a day where we did so many of our favorite things – saw friends, played games, sang, and hung out together. So at bedtime, we were talking about what a good day it was.

Then six-year-old Mr. D piped in, “But not for the man. He didn’t have a good day.”

Oh yes – the man. Mr. D and I had dropped Miss O off at her musical rehearsal and then were driving up the hill near our house at 10am on a Saturday morning. We were going to the grocery store for some snacks to eat on our way to baseball. We passed a man that was on his hands and knees on the little section of grass between the curb and the sidewalk.

That didn’t look right. So I backed down the hill and stopped next to him. As I got out of the car, a woman who was talking on her phone walked up. She had called 9-1-1. Between her conversation with them and some comments she directed to me, I got a sense of what had happened.

This 60-something man had been looking unsteady at the top of the hill. The woman and at least one other person had offered to help and he’d refused. He’d started down the hill, lost his balance and then face-planted somewhere near the bottom.

I gave him some napkins from my car to put on his face where it was bleeding. Mr. D picked up the pieces of his glasses. The woman was continuing her conversation with 9-1-1 but the man refused medical assistance. As she answered their questions, she sounded kinda snarky. Almost like she was put out that he got hurt after refusing her help.

I got out a collapsible chair from the back of our car and set it up. The man, whose name we found out was Mike, was able to get off the ground and sit in the chair. Mr. D found a bottle of water and we poured it over his bloody hands.

It turned out he lived a few blocks from where we discovered him. He dropped his shopping bag when he fell. The only thing in it was a now-smashed pint of gin whose contents had emptied on the sidewalk. Since he’d refused help from the authorities, I offered him a ride home. He didn’t want that either.

He stood up, I folded up the chair, the woman ended her call with 9-1-1 and we all went our separate ways. As we started driving again, Mr. D said, “that was scary.” When I asked what part, he responded, “All the blood.”

So at the end of the day, Mr. D was right – Mike probably didn’t have a good day. But I couldn’t help but think that scene was an allegory of what it means to be in community. I’d argue that it’s likely we all have been in each of the three roles at some point in our lives: the person turning down assistance even when we are feeling unsteady, the judgmental helper who is willing to step in but not without adding commentary, and the person who offers a chair. I know I have been all three.

And maybe the point is just to keep trying to improving the way we play our parts by accepting help, not being judgmental, and offering comfort in the effort to work toward some version of a future where no one falls down any more.

(featured photo is from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

Local Relationships: The Key to Thriving in an AI World

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“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I was out walking Cooper last week when a neighbor stopped me and asked me what I thought about AI. She and her partner are retired therapists. They have a brilliant young son who works in high-tech so I think she was looking for reassurance more than she wanted information.

In my middle class neighborhood in Seattle, there’s a lot to worry about these days. The layoffs at Microsoft and Amazon have hit hard. They are posts in the grocery stores about eco-anxiety groups. The school district is worried about measles outbreaks. Folks are wondering if Seattle is on the short list for an ICE surge.

But amidst all this uncertainty, I witness concrete examples of people offering to help, creating systems to protect the vulnerable, coming together to make life easier, and celebrating the things when things go right.

As an engineer, I can think of many ways AI will change things but I am not a prognosticator. This moment with AI feels a lot like when the Internet was new to businesses. Everyone raced to get a public facing website up and use all the new HTML codes as they were released. Kinda like all the AI offerings and proliferation of bots we see now.

But as the 2001 Internet bubble burst attested, no one really knew how the Internet would be used. It has come to showcase some of the best and worst of humanity. I suspect AI will do the same.

As we carried our portable chairs away from the Seahawks parade last week, Miss O said to me, “I love our community.” I asked if she meant Seattle. “No, Seattle is good but I meant all the people we met at the parade.” In the three hours we spent waiting and waving, we formed bonds with others by sharing our space, snacks, and footballs.

So I told my neighbor that I think that AI doesn’t change the fact that our biggest impact is rooted locally and in the here and now like it was for us at the parade. We can find our inner peace, cultivate our faith in God and others, and keep showing up. I believe that it’s important to work to advocate for the environment, businesses and government we want. But what makes an immediate difference in our lives and in the lives of others is creating relationships, showing kindness, and doing the next right thing. And AI doesn’t change that.

P.S. One thing that keeps me hopeful is the amazing podcast conversations I’m lucky enough to have with people whose stories reflect their struggle – to survive, to understand, to thrive – all while sharing what they’ve learned. In tough times like these, episodes like these keep me believing that love will win.

(featured photo is a red heart that provides a beacon of hope in our neighborhood)

The Ripple Effect

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“I cannot do all the good that the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do.” – Jana Stanfield

Last week, six-year-old Mr. D came home from school and wanted to type a message on my computer. It read,

“Art is so so so so so so fun bcus I em duing clay today.”

Mr. D is less voluble than his older sister so I loved hearing about what he was excited about at school. But I was tired after a long day and busy with getting dinner on the table so I almost let it drop there.

By chance, I snapped a picture of his message and after the kids went to bed, sent it to the art teacher.

The next morning she responded, “I really appreciate you letting me know this! Thank you so much providing a clay experience for the whole school is arduous so your message means a lot.”

That made me feel great for making the effort.

Then, the art teacher thanked Mr. D for the message.

And that led to Mr. D coming home and writing a nice note for his teacher, the gym teacher, the music teacher and the librarian and distributing them the next day.

I love the ripple effect.

Especially when paired with synchronicity. I was writing this post when I read Vicki Atkinson’s beautiful post, Power of the Pen. In it she so eloquently captures the beautiful impact of receiving heartfelt notes. She also connected the dots to a How to Share podcast with Amy Weinland Daughters about writing letters.

I hadn’t made the connection between Mr. D’s notes and Amy’s wonderful message about how much it means to write people letters so I’m adding another dose of gratitude to the feel good pile. I’m grateful to great friends like Vicki Atkinson that remind us about the goodness we’ve learned!

(featured photo is Mr D on the computer)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing!

Backing Up My Assumptions

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“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

Last week I experienced the digital version of having to evacuate the house. My beloved laptop stopped being able to connect to AC power. It’s been touchy for a couple of years so I’d been putting the plug in a certain way and then jiggling it until the red light came on. And then it stopped being able to charge at all.

So I had to grab everything I needed in the span of the power remaining on the battery.

In theory, this should be no problem. I back everything up to the Cloud. In practice, I like to put things in places that aren’t backed up and think I’ll organize them later.

I closed my laptop (to save battery, of course) and thought about it. The first list of things I came up with were the things I needed in the short term. It felt like this was the equivalent of getting my family out of the house in the case of an emergency. Pretty obvious what to grab and the high-level “go bag” I’d prepared helped make me efficient.

But then the next list of things were the precious things in case I couldn’t get my laptop back. These were the digital version of grabbing the baby books and my dad’s lucky baseball mitt before running out the front door.

At this point I was pretty sure I could live with what I had and just needed to spend the time to rebuild my old laptop for what I needed to get done. This is the step where I learned the most because I started making mistakes. I flubbed a post, called someone by the wrong name, and didn’t have time to double-check details.

I ran smack-dab into my assumption that even in the case of disruption, I should be able to get operate like it’s business as usual. Sure, I can rebuild a laptop, stop by the repair shop and still get Miss O to the orthodontist, make all our classes and activities, and just do meetings in the car. <eye roll> Dang, my face still hurts from hitting that metaphorical wall.

The good news is that I got the laptop to the shop with enough battery power remaining that they could get the encryption key they needed in order to fix it. I’ll be back to full power in a couple of weeks. But more lastingly, I learned that in order to give other people grace, I need to learn to give myself some too.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

Share the Load

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“It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – C.S. Lewis

When my kids and I recently watched the movie, “A Boy Called Po,” 10-year-old Miss O asked what the description “heavy” meant. The movie is about a widowed father struggling to take care of his autistic son in the wake of his wife’s death and a lot of work pressure. Heavy applies but it’s also a delightful drama.

We’ve had some really interesting family conversations about this movie. Miss O really empathized with the boy in the story who seems to be about 10 or 12-years-old. She was also pretty critical of the dad who she thought should be more patient.

This came on the wake of comment she made to me that the staff at school working with disability students should be more patient. From my point of view, both the dad in the movie and the staff at school are doing the best they can and a pretty good job. So I countered that adults need empathy too.

This is where it gets interesting – because then Miss O said she wanted to do everything I do in a day just to see. We picked Saturday of this weekend. I gave her a list of all the food prep, pet care, chores, and special projects we had for the day.

I checked in to see how she was feeling at lunchtime. She said, “Right now I feel okay. We’ll see how I feel at the end of the day. I can see it might be okay to do for a day but it would be tiring to do all day, every day, for years.”

Then we returned home a little before 5pm after a fun outing, and it was time feed the dog, the cat and make dinner. She made a plan of what she wanted to cook, then discovered she had to empty the dishwasher she’d run earlier, and in the midst of doing that, her younger brother said, “I’m hungry.”   

I offered to help and even so, it was almost two hours between when we came home from our activity and when she got to sit down and eat her dinner. Then the kitchen had to be cleaned, the gecko had to be fed, and there were snacks to prepare for while we watched shows.

At the end of the day she said, “I don’t know how you do it. It’s impossible to get it all done.” She’d finished one load of laundry but it needed to be pulled out of the dryer to fold so the second load could be dried. She observed, “it’d be okay if you could carry things over to the next day but then you have to start everything else all over again.”

For my part, I just tried to let her do it, do everything she asked, and roll with her decisions and timeframe. So I experienced what it’s like to not be in control of the flow and the timing. It was a great lesson for how adaptable my kids are. I also felt far more rested at the end of the day and it gave me an idea of how much wear and tear what I’m trying to do is.

So I’m scripting my own movie, “A Girl Called O.” It’s a comedy, with a side of drama, and the lead is pretty heroic. She cares enough to want to understand and try it all. In the end, not everything is tidied up but the characters care enough for each other to show up and share the load.  

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

Out of the Mouth of Babes: Three Lines That Open Us Up

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“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu

One of my takeaways from social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s recent book The Anxious Generation is that kids need to practice working out their relationships with each other. Negotiating what they want and also how to take care of each other is invaluable experience.

So I try to give my kids a lot of room to relate before stepping in. It feels like I have one ear open for how they talk to each other, especially when it’s at high volume. I hear plenty of statements like: “You can’t do that, it’s not fair.” and “Don’t do that ever again.”

But this week I heard three lines that immediately changed the tenor of the conversation. And the best thing about them? They were not specific to childhood.

Line #1

  • Six-year-old said, “I wish Miss O wanted to help.”

And she did. But prior to Mr. D saying that, she wasn’t clued in that he needed help.

Line #2

  • Ten-year-old Miss O said, “Okay, I’m listening.“

The conversation was tense before Miss O said this. Once she said it, they worked out whatever it was they were trying to do.

Line #3

Mr. D said, “Imagine we could…“

And then they were off building a better world.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

How To Share the Ball

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“It is in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it.” – Nelson Mandela

There was a moment on Monday night when I thought, “I hate baseball” as both of my kids were sitting on the couch crying.

The Mariners had just lost Game 7 of the ALCS to the Toronto Blue Jays (congrats to my Blue Jay friends). Six-year-old Mr. D cried, “I don’t think I can go to school tomorrow.” And 10-year-old Miss O plaintively added, “Maybe if I buttoned up my jersey they would have won.” I was thinking, “I can’t believe I let them watch the 9th inning right before bed!” And then we thought of how the Mariners must be feeling and it started a whole new round of tears.

As with many things that can reduce us to tears, baseball also has great power to lift us up. I have a fantastic example of this in the How to Share podcast this week with hydrogeologist and Mariner’s fan, Glenn Mutti-Driscoll.

Glenn caught a ball at a Mariner’s game in September. But it wasn’t just any ball, it was Cal Raleigh’s 60th homerun ball. A significant marker when Cal joined the ranks of Babe Ruth, Roger Maris and Aaron Judge to hit that milestone.

Glenn and I talked about what happened next – because Glenn gave that historic ball away to a 12-year-old boy near him in the stands.

I’m so grateful that Glenn agreed to podcast with me because he didn’t do this for the recognition. We talk about what inspired him to share the ball and the ripple effects of kindness. What’s so incredible about this example is that we can see the rewards of giving in this case to both the giver, receiver, and everyone around.

Glenn tells us about the serendipity of the moment and how the action was more automatic than deliberated. We also discuss that the long effect that this lesson will have to this next generation – especially Marcus, the boy that Glenn handed the ball to as well as Glenn’s own sons.

This is a fantastically inspiring example of how (and why) to share. I know you’ll love it.

Takeaways

  • Glenn’s act of kindness was spontaneous and automatic.
  • The decision to give the ball away was influenced by his role as a parent.
  • Kindness can have a ripple effect on the community.
  • The media response highlighted the importance of positive stories.
  • Glenn’s children learned valuable lessons about generosity.
  • The experience brought unexpected joy and recognition to Glenn’s family.
  • Acts of kindness can uplift people’s spirits in challenging times.
  • Sharing experiences can inspire others to act kindly.
  • The moment of catching the ball was filled with serendipity.
  • Glenn’s story serves as a reminder of the power of giving.

Here’s a clip of Glenn telling the story of the catch and release:

Here are some ways you can watch this heartwarming and inspiring episode:

Reinvention, Resilience and The Courage to Try| Lindsey Goldstein on Gap Year – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

What do you do when life falls apart? In this episode, Wynne Leon sits down with Lindsey Goldstein, author of Gap Year, for a conversation about personal growth, self-improvement, and finding the courage to try—even when the path ahead feels uncertain. From writing and running to parenting, failure, and fresh starts, they explore how confidence is built one brave step at a time. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s too late to try something new, this uplifting episode is a reminder that growth often begins the moment we say yes to the challenge.In this episode, you’ll learn: → When life falls apart, it can also become an opening → Courage often starts before confidence → Trying, failing, and learning are all part of growth. → Small steps lead to bigger transformations. → It is never too late to begin again → You do not always end up where you expected—but you still growLindsey Goldstein shares how writing in short windows of time highlight that progress often comes from regular effort, not waiting for the ideal moment. Check out Lindsey's book Gap Year and experience Jane's courage vicariously – but beware, it's contagious!If your kids are leaving for college, you want to try a new hobby, or a travel spot is calling you, this episode is for you. 📘 Order Gap Year on Amazon🌐 Visit Lindsey Goldstein's website🌐 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more:Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on:personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.📌 Subscribe & Stay UpdatedABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ 48: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive➡️ How to Finally Write That Book You've Been Dreaming About | Writing Motivation 🔗 CONNECT WITH ME:• Website:→ https://wynneleon.com/• Instagram:→ https://www.instagram.com/wynneleon/• Facebook:→ https://www.facebook.com/wynne.leon/
  1. Reinvention, Resilience and The Courage to Try| Lindsey Goldstein on Gap Year
  2. 51: Letting Go of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving
  3. 50: How to Write the Book You've Been Meaning to Write | Dr. Victoria Atkinson (Slivers)
  4. 49: Personal Growth Pivot Points: Pause, Quit or Keep Going?
  5. 48-How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience, and Coming Alive

How to Share the Ball transcript

Links for this episode:

Cal meets fan who gave HR No. 60 to kid — and comes bearing gifts

Mariners reward fan who gave valuable Cal Raleigh 60th home run ball to nearby child – The Athletic

From the host:

My book about my beloved father: ⁠Finding My Father’s Faith⁠;

(featured photo from Pexels)

How to Share a Sandwich

Posted in howtoshareTagged , , , , 61 Comments

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or the life of another.” – Helen Keller

Karen Olson shares a statistic in her book Meant for More: Following Your Heart and Finding Your Purpose that one in thirty children in the United States experience homelessness annually.

That means that when I volunteered last week at my kids’ elementary school last week to walk the approximately 400 students at school down to have their photo taken for Picture Day, statistically speaking, 13 of them could have experienced homelessness in the last year. It’s overwhelming to even try to comprehend that.

So I love the conversation that Vicki Atkinson and I had with Karen Olson because she has done so much to help homeless families. Karen is the founder and CEO emeritus of Family Promise, an organization committed to ending family homelessness.

Karen shares the story of her encounter with Millie, a woman experiencing homelessness, and how that her decision to not only share a sandwich but also her time as she listened to Millie’s story changed her life forever (see clip below).

She tells us how her sons who were 10 and 12 at the time got involved. And she shares how the “no’s” she received help shape her mission into something even better – an organization that has involved a million volunteers and a nation-wide presence.

In her book, Meant for More, Karen tells not only her story but also some stories of the people Family Promise has helped – from those who experienced homelessness to the volunteers.

In this episode we talk about some of the reasons we hesitate to help people experiencing homelessness. Karen’s guidance is so helpful to help direct our efforts in ways that make a difference.

This is a great episode with a woman who was wired to help others. We know you’ll love it.

Takeaways from this episode:

  • Karen Olson founded Family Promise to help homeless families.
  • The organization mobilizes community resources to provide shelter and support.
  • 80% of families in the program find housing within nine weeks.
  • Personal acts of kindness can lead to significant change.
  • Engaging with the homeless can break down barriers and stereotypes.
  • Community service fulfills the needs of both the giver and receiver.
  • Advocacy is essential for systemic change in homelessness.
  • Many homeless families are hidden from public view.
  • Compassion and kindness can inspire others to act.
  • The journey of helping others can lead to personal healing.

Here’s Karen telling the story about the sandwich that started it all.

Here are some ways you can watch this heartwarming and inspiring episode:

How to Share a Sandwich transcript

Reinvention, Resilience and The Courage to Try| Lindsey Goldstein on Gap Year – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

What do you do when life falls apart? In this episode, Wynne Leon sits down with Lindsey Goldstein, author of Gap Year, for a conversation about personal growth, self-improvement, and finding the courage to try—even when the path ahead feels uncertain. From writing and running to parenting, failure, and fresh starts, they explore how confidence is built one brave step at a time. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s too late to try something new, this uplifting episode is a reminder that growth often begins the moment we say yes to the challenge.In this episode, you’ll learn: → When life falls apart, it can also become an opening → Courage often starts before confidence → Trying, failing, and learning are all part of growth. → Small steps lead to bigger transformations. → It is never too late to begin again → You do not always end up where you expected—but you still growLindsey Goldstein shares how writing in short windows of time highlight that progress often comes from regular effort, not waiting for the ideal moment. Check out Lindsey's book Gap Year and experience Jane's courage vicariously – but beware, it's contagious!If your kids are leaving for college, you want to try a new hobby, or a travel spot is calling you, this episode is for you. 📘 Order Gap Year on Amazon🌐 Visit Lindsey Goldstein's website🌐 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more:Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on:personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.📌 Subscribe & Stay UpdatedABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ 48: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive➡️ How to Finally Write That Book You've Been Dreaming About | Writing Motivation 🔗 CONNECT WITH ME:• Website:→ https://wynneleon.com/• Instagram:→ https://www.instagram.com/wynneleon/• Facebook:→ https://www.facebook.com/wynne.leon/
  1. Reinvention, Resilience and The Courage to Try| Lindsey Goldstein on Gap Year
  2. 51: Letting Go of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving
  3. 50: How to Write the Book You've Been Meaning to Write | Dr. Victoria Atkinson (Slivers)
  4. 49: Personal Growth Pivot Points: Pause, Quit or Keep Going?
  5. 48-How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience, and Coming Alive

Links for this episode:

Karen’s book: Meant for More: Following Your Heart and Finding Purpose on Barnes & Noble , Bookshop.org and Amazon

Karen Olson, Author

Family Promise Organization

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: ⁠Surviving Sue⁠; Blog: ⁠https://victoriaponders.com/⁠

My book about my beloved father: ⁠Finding My Father’s Faith⁠;

(featured photo from Pexels)

The Power of Sharing: Lessons from a Bunny Encounter

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“We form friendships with unrelated people. It’s universal in human groups. We cooperate with each other, altruistically. We’re kind to strangers — again, to unrelated individuals. This is different than many other types of cooperation, which are also seen in other animal species, but often that cooperation is between genetically related individuals. We do it with genetically unrelated individuals. We teach each other things. People take this for granted, but it’s actually unbelievable” – Nicholas Christakis

I find it fascinating when my kids demonstrate something that we do all the time as grown-ups. In this case, discern who to share with.

My six-year-old son, Mr. D, and I were walking on our favorite beach on Whidbey Island this weekend when we saw a bunny in trouble. It was trying to climb the bank back to the grassy top about 100 feet above. It kept on getting about two-thirds the way up. But then the incline was too vertical so the bunny fell back down.

Mr. D and I were watching it. He said the thing that was running through my head. “Take a rest. Calm down. Try another approach.”

But its frantic efforts made it lose ground and attract our dog, Cooper’s attention. The bunny started running along the bank parallel to the beach about 10 feet up. Cooper started chasing it. Because he wasn’t on the leash, all I could do was call him (good luck with that) and run after him to try to leash him.

The bunny finally exhausted itself and fell to beach level. Cooper caught up and nosed it but I don’t think did any more damage than what happened when it fell. When Mr. D and I got there, it was breathing and moving its front paws, but I’m not sure its back paws worked any more. We put Cooper on leash and left the bunny to rest but we weren’t feeling hopeful about its survival. It was a tender moment.

Later that afternoon, Mr. D quietly said to me, “I told Miss O about the bunny. I didn’t tell Eric though. He’s too funny for that.”

It was such a great example of what we all do when we share something. We evaluate who the audience is, whether they can be trusted with the information, and if it’s the appropriate time. It’s just like sharing a file in the office. Are we putting it in the correct location with the right permissions?

Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong but we keep trying. Because to share is human, and as Yale sociologist Nicolas Christakis says, it’s unbelievable!

There are times I get rusty and the words for any experience that is hard or tender come out slowly. I’ve found that it’s easier to keep it flowing than let myself get encased in my armor. Thank goodness for kids that show me how. And for this beautiful blogging community who receives so beautifully!

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

Life Begins Now: The Parenting Trap

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“It still amazes me that we insist on teaching algebra to all students when only about 20 percent will ever use it and fail to teach anything about parenting when the vast majority of our students will become parents.” – Nel Noddings

My dad used to tell this joke: Three religious leaders were asked the question, “When does life begin?”

The Catholic priest said, “At conception.“

The Protestant pastor replied, “At birth.“

The Rabbi answered, “When the last kid goes to college and the dog dies.“

I’m laughing. Wow do I feel this. As a parent of young children, I do more things in a day that I wouldn’t choose to do than things I would choose. That alone can make me feel as if my life is not my own. Add in the noise and chaos and it’s hard to find peace. Taken all together, that can make this phase of life seem like one to rush through.

 But I know I can’t assume that I’ll be able to enjoy my kids when they are mature adults. I had my kids when I was aged 46 and then 50. When my youngest is 30, I’ll be 80-years-old. Hopefully an alive, healthy, and active 80 years old but nothing is a given. I know that’s true at any age.

So I try to flip the punchline and enjoy my kids, and life, now.

Cleaning up messes

Things in my house are spilled nearly every day. Sometimes by me. Often not very big deals like when a glass of milk with a top on spilled the other day. It just left a corona of milk dotting the carpet.

Here’s the thing I’ve realized. It’s a chance to convey to my dear children that I’ll love them when things are messy.

Bonus points: Longevity specialist Dr. Peter Attia includes getting up from the floor with max of one arm for support on his Centenarian Decathlon list. It includes the ten most important physical tasks you will want to be able to do for the rest of your life. Every time I’m down on the floor cleaning, I celebrate working out the strength and neuromuscular control that I need.

Helping with personal hygiene

It’s funny that kids don’t come with personal hygiene habits baked in. I’d prefer not to have to remind others to brush their teeth or wipe their tush. Add a dog, cat and a crested gecko in the mix and I can pretty much guarantee that most days will have some involvement in someone else’s hygiene.

I love this one because it’s foundational to my outlook. It’s forced me as a congenital optimist, to accept that every day is not going to be perfect, comfortable, or even pretty.

And long after I’m gone, I can trust my kids will have some idea of how to keep their bodies safe.

Bonus points: My personal hygiene has suffered as a parent. Kudos to me when I remember to take care of myself as well.

Feeding them

There are some days where I make food, clean up from making food, only to find that by that time, more food is already required.

But, whether real or metaphorical, I’d argue that giving others fuel to live by is what we are here for.

Bonus points: This is a reminder that cooking is all about exercising our creative muscles. How can I make something when I realize I’m missing an ingredient? How do I make something that’ll last with what I have?

Melt downs

Oh, those moments when big emotions take over and make us uncomfortable. And by us, I mean not only the person melting down but also everyone close at hand. It can be precarious, unpredictable, and draining. It’s also 100% real.

Recently, I took my kids rock climbing. My six-year-old son got stuck halfway up the rock face. He couldn’t find a way past – not moving right or left or shifting his weight. He started to cry. Since I was belaying him, there was nothing I could do except be there with him. And it was the perfect metaphor because I was connected to him by a rope.

From 40 feet away, I shouted up my empathy for his frustration, tried some suggestions, told him he could come down, emphasized that I knew he could do it – everything I could do to help from afar. Finally he shook it off. Then he managed the coolest move — palming the rock with his right hand and smearing the face with his left foot, he leveraged himself up high enough to the next good hold.

It was as rousing of a feat of personal triumph as I’ve ever witnessed.

Here’s where you get to pick your image: port in the storm, rope anchor on a mountain, sacred ground – you have the chance to be that for someone else. And to learn a little bit about what it kicks off in you as well. We don’t often get to see adults do that – the trying, melt down, return and overcoming is usually a longer (and more hidden) process for grown-up risks and triumphs. There is nothing as powerful as watching someone overcome some real adversity. With young kids we get to see that nearly every day.

And then we get to celebrate their success.

Bonus points: It’s hard to stay regulated when someone else is dysregulated. Whether it’s my verbal 10-year-old daughter talking grown-up sounding sass that covers for her childlike emotions underneath or a stranger at the store, I feel it all the way through. But all this practice is helping my central nervous system to be buff!

Distraction

When awake and nearby, my kids provide continual distraction. I could be inside sitting at my computer typing and instead I’m out in a creek skipping rocks. Or I could be sitting on the couch with my phone in hand texting and instead I’m having a dance party and moving my hips. I hunt for snails and hold my kids’ hands while they learn to hoverboard.

Oh, that’s right – I’ve never once regretted a dance party, a rock skipping contest, time in nature, or moving my body.

Bonus points. Psychologist Dr. Alison Gopnik says that kids have lantern brain. They see everything that is around. Adults have spotlight brain – we focus on what needs to be done. Switching into lantern brain can help us solve problems, be creative, and open us to new insights. The distractions can actually help us with solutions for our work when we return to it.

Invasion of personal space

Yesterday my six-year-old son stuffed something in the pocket of my jeans. Gah.  

I’m all for enforcing the boundaries necessary to maintain healthy relationships. But before I decide what those boundaries are, I consider that my kids embody what we look like as open creatures that assume other people will help you carry your stuff.

Bonus points: Ask someone else to help you carry your stuff.

Time

I’m the only one that cares about time in my house. Being on time, getting to bed, the school bell is about to ring, dinner time, time for annual physicals, or it’s about time. All of it.

Because I’m the one that understands time is limited.

Bonus points: Stop caring about the future and enjoy the now.

I’m not guaranteed to get to 80 years old. But I bet that if I do, parenting will have extended my healthspan so that I enjoy it more. And I know I’ll be glad that I didn’t wait until the kids went to college and the dog died to begin living.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.