“The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen.” – Simon Sinek

I don’t expect any great applause for this but I’ve solved the sock problem I’ve been complaining about since Things About Parenting That I Think I’ve Learned So Far Part 1. Let’s be clear — the socks still go missing, get tucked in between coach cushions and get carried around by Cooper the dog. But I’ve figured out a brilliant strategy: they don’t need socks when they wear Crocs. <ba dum tss!>

So it’s time to update my Things About Parenting That I Think I’ve Learned. My kids are 11 and 7 years old so I still have a ways to go. But I believe we’ve turned the corner. Parenting now is more psychological than physical. It looks a lot like leadership.

So here are the things I’ve learned so far:

It’s a great responsibility being responsible for someone else; pack treats for yourself…and them
Knowing what you are and are not responsible for will save your sanity

Teaching values is done one small act at a time
They are always watching… like when you
– Wave when someone lets you in
– Say “hi” or smile to strangers
– Admit you don’t know it all
– Call the homeless people by their name
– Bow to a Higher Power

There is a time when you just have to say “yes” to the McDonald’s drive-thru

Rarely will the three of us all see something the same way
But we can still exchange stories of what we see while looking in the same direction

Melt downs and spin outs happen
You will be judged by strangers and your kids alike by how you react
Digging deep to respond from your inner calmness usually works better

This generation will never not know life without Amazon and smart phones
That doesn’t mean that they need to get everything instantly or always be connected
But it does mean we will need to let them navigate the world differently than we did

Wear Crocs…without socks!

You can stall for time by time by responding, “That is a great question.” to a kid’s good question.”
If you don’t know the answer, just say, “I don’t know.”
They won’t hold space for not knowing if you don’t.

Good friends make the world go round
Your friends
Their friends
And if you are very lucky, siblings as friends.

Parenting is hard work
It’s okay to lie on the couch and let them paint your toenails now and then

Kids are different
They will likely not like the same foods
Not be calmed by the same things
Have unique capabilities
But still care about the same people, value each other, and respect differences

On the subject of chores — I frequently forget to enlist help for what would be really helpful to me
Overestimated what I need to teach and what they’ll eventually learn on their own
Miscalculated how long it will take
And have plenty more chances to get it right

You will screw up
They will learn more from how you react than if life had gone perfectly

Correction without judgment and anger is more effective
Use fewer words

Respect goes two ways

There is no substitute for being genuinely interested in and liking your kids
Listen to understand not evaluate

How you show up is as important as what you show up for

Life is not fair
We all want it to be… especially kids.
Demonstrate how to reach for hopes and dreams
And if you can, show how to navigate the messy middle.

(featured photo from Pexels)

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