The Difference Between Want and Need

Recognize what is simple. Keep what is essential.” – Lao Tzu

Yesterday morning, our first morning after returning from our road trip, I looked around the house and had a good laugh at the evidence of our settling in. I’d relished being home by sitting on my meditation cushion with all my meditation books around me. Five-year-old Mr. D played with all the sports equipment. And nine-year-old Miss O had gathered up all the materials and made slime.

It’s a defining act to travel. We pare down to essentials so that we can go on adventures. It forces us to know what’s vital to our health and sanity and pack accordingly. I’ve seen climbers who cut the pages out of a book because reading is important to them, but they don’t want to carry the whole weight.

Of course for our cushy road trip visiting friends who took great care of us, it’s not nearly as stark. But still, I couldn’t bring all my meditation books, D had to pare down to only some baseball gear, and Miss O could only bring a couple of stuffies.

But I love the way we better appreciate the luxury of all of our comfort when we come home. It feels as if part of traveling is helping us know what is essential for peace of mind wherever we go. We’ve come home a little wiser about the difference between what we want and what we need. Which is an important thing to know.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

The Lifecycle of Luck

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

This past Friday my nine-year-old daughter, Miss O, was asked to fill in for the lead role of Michal in a musical production. The girl who was playing the role came down with a fever and there were just 24 hours before the show. The director texted me, “Is Miss O home and can I talk to her?” Yes and yes.

It’s so much easier for me to see patterns in other’s lives than my own. What unfolded in this opportunity showed me three things about the lifecycle of luck.

1. Intent

Tryouts for this production were four months ago. Along with about a dozen others, Miss O read for the part of King Saul’s daughter, Michal, in this musical about David and Goliath. The cast is made up of 4th-7th graders with an emphasis on 7th graders getting lead roles since it’s their last year to participate. Miss O knew that as a 4th grader she was unlikely to get the role but tried for it anyway.

2. Persistence

When the roles were handed out, she didn’t get picked for Michal and instead was assigned about 4-5 lines in addition to being part of the ensemble. She was really disappointed.

But after a day or two, she bounced back and felt okay about it. Then she was all in. She was at every practice for the last four months except one when we were out of town. She learned her lines, practiced the choreography, and completed all the assignments. She was excited for and dedicated to the roles she had.

3. Willingness

When the call came on Friday, I watched Miss O’s face as the director asked if she’d play the lead role of Michal. She answered without hesitation that she would do it. Then immediately grabbed the song book and started memorizing the lines.

Watching this unfold, I marveled at her willingness to say “yes” even though it meant a lot of work. She had the aptitude and the attitude to take this on. Memorizing is pretty easy for her and she likes to perform.

It was great luck that the director thought to ask her.  But stepping back, I think she worked hard at her small role and I think that’s why she was offered the big role.

Recently, I was talking with corporation communication specialist, Brian Hannon on the How To Share podcast about how to share professional communications (episode drops on Wednesday, 5/21). We agreed that opportunities don’t pop up when we are sitting on the sidelines but instead show up when we’re in the game. As Madeleine L’Engle said, “Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.

But we have to aim high. Then not quit when we don’t get what we want but instead work hard at the parts we’re offered. Finally, we have to say “yes” when the big break comes, even though it’s “dressed in overalls and looks like work” as Thomas Edison said.

Miss O did a fantastic job in the role of Michal on Saturday night. She started to get nervous a couple hours before show time but understood that it was just because she cared. Then she settled back into the work she’d done and rocked it…which seems like appropriate acclaim for a musical about David and Goliath.

Here’s to picking up the phone when opportunity calls!

(featured photo is mine- Miss O playing Michal)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about how to share anything – to the appropriate audience, with the right permissions, at the most opportune time.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Awe in Nature

Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world..” – Dacher Keltner

We were at our favorite beach this weekend and it had the intended restorative effect after being sick for a couple of weeks. I had no idea of the timing when I booked the AirBnB months ago, of course. Don’t you just love it when life works out?

When I was beachcombing with my kids, five-year-old Mr. D ran up to me to ask, “Can I keep this stick?”

I said, “But we already have collected a couple today.”

And he answered, “Yes, but this one is so interesting. It’s covered in stuff.

I laughed and agreed it was unique.

The back of our car has a section for interesting sticks, shells, and rocks because there’s something to love about each. One stick is one half covered with bark and the other half bare. Another is flat. And by contrast, Mr. D also really likes the one that’s perfectly round.

Miss O does the same thing. It used to be with rocks until she filled her pockets up so much that her shorts would sag. Now its tiny sea shells.

But I go along with it because I’m a sap for connecting to nature in all its beautiful variations.

In his book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, UC Berkley professor of psychology Dacher Keltner writes about the goodness that comes from the awe we can experience in nature:

“In fact, it’s hard to imagine a single thing you can do that is better for your body and mind than finding awe outdoors. Doing so leads to the reduced likelihood of cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, and cancer.”
– Dacher Keltner in Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life

When put that way, I guess we’ll stick (pun intended) with the restorative time on the beach collecting little bits of nature that help remind us of the awe all around. It works for me!

(featured photo is mine of our latest collection of sticks)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I co-host a author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Motivated and Hopeful

Every sunrise is a blessing, it’s an opportunity to learn something new and to create something that can benefit others. It also gives a chance to make amends. Use it wisely before sunset.” – Eugenia Herlihy

Have you ever seen that math exercise where two people stand something like 20 feet apart? And with each move, they divide the distance between them in half so after the second move, they are 10 feet apart and after the third, five feet.

In the end, the point is that there is an endless number of moves because they’ll always be some distance, even if infinitesimal, between them.

There is no finish line.

It reminds me how I feel about my self-improvement. There’s always room for growth.  

Three recent things have inspired me to keep feeding a growth mindset. When Vicki and I talked with author Andrew Mayne, he described the year when he wanted to become an author. He set a goal to write ten books in a year. He’d write a book and then read a book on writing. I’ve been intrigued by the “feedback loop” as Andrew described it, even since that conversation.

Elizabeth from the Bleuwater blog took a photography course this Spring. As she shared her lessons on speed, aperture, focus, I realized how much I don’t know about photography, especially when I just grab a picture with my phone. You can see Elizabeth’s incredible photography that she submitted as her final here.

Vicki Atkinson wrote a fascinating post about editing last week, Learning to Rewrite. The conclusion that grabbed me? “Pack a punch with fewer words. Make every sentence count.”

The math exercise reminds me that we will never completely occupy the space of another person on this planet. These recent posts and conversations remind me that there are never ending ways to inspire each other and improve. Taken all together, it makes me feel so motivated and hopeful…and never bored.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I co-host a author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Gone Fishing

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.” – Mark Twain

I once heard an interview with psychiatrist and author, Dr. Scott Peck, where he said the reason he got so much done was being he spent two hours a day doing nothing.

He called it his thinking time until he realized people felt free to interrupt thinking time. He changed it to his praying time and everyone left him alone.

In the interest of doing more of nothing, I’m taking today off. Maybe even every Wednesday off. May you all get a little bit of nothing done today too!

(featured photo from Pexels)

Spring Training

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” – Babe Ruth

It’s Spring! I know because my five-year-old son, Mr. D, had his first Little League game.

My friend Eric quippedIsn’t a Little League game at this level where a batter hits and then everything that happens next is an error?

Well, he wasn’t far off. The games last for an hour. Each side bats their entire lineup and then they switch to the outfield. A batter gets four coach pitched balls. If a hit hasn’t happened by then, they bring in the tee for the child to hit off of. Each team got to bat twice.

In the outfield, the whole team of 10-12 players go out. Figuring out who to throw to is understandably confusing. Who’s on first? Practically EVERYONE.

In one play, a kid on the other team fielded the ball hit by his own team as he ran to second base. Eric laughed, “I wouldn’t even know how to score that. He gets a forced out and an assist?

The teams practice getting outs but no one actually sits down on the bench as a result.

It struck me as a great lesson in low stakes learning. How to set up environments where hits and errors are all just scored as lessons. Even for adults, we can learn pickleball or improve our writing without going full-on into performance or competition mode.

So here’s to learning to pitch things and trust they’ll teach us something. To swing for the fences and be able to laugh when it all goes wrong and the ball ends up behind us. And maybe if we don’t want to consider sliding for home, we can at least pounce on the finish line when we find it.

 Because even if we’re not in the Spring of our lives, we’re still in training! Right?

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Take One Day Away

Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” – Maya Angelou

I’m typing this post on a Sunday morning while sitting on the floor of a hotel room as my kids sleep. This weekend, we didn’t have any events scheduled, the weather was unpredictable, and March doesn’t have any holidays so we made up a get away of our own. On Saturday afternoon we checked into a hotel for one night. It has a pool and is less than 1 mile from our house.

It sounds silly as I type this but I swear the psychological benefits are real. We walked away from all the regular stuff – homework, practice, pet care, cooking, and cleaning – to change it up for 21 hours. This small shift has reminded me that all that we carry isn’t as immoveable as it sometimes seems.

The kids have explored every feature of our 300 sq feet hotel room and spent quality time watching the freeway because the room is fun but not all that scenic. We’ve splashed and swam in the pool, and are about to head down to a FREE all-we-can-eat breakfast buffet.

I know it’s not really free but it still feels freeing. I wonder how many restorative breaks are waiting for us on the other side of silly?

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Connecting the Dots

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Steve Jobs

Like the quote for this post, I couldn’t see how all the dots on this story connected until the end. But I know how it started — when I showed up at the school playground Monday afternoon with an envelope full of money.

I’d signed nine-year-old Miss O for Glee Club. Because she’d joined the after school club late, the teacher gave me a pro-rated fee for the activity. She hadn’t included a payment link. So in the spirit of not wanting to make any more work for her, I put $160 in an envelope, sealed it and wrote only the teacher’s name on the front. My plan was to hand it to her when I picked Miss O up after class.

But I had to pick up five-year-old Mr. D at the regular end of the school day. I was talking with other parents when he came over to tell me that two kids weren’t letting a little kid go on the playground. Another parent and I went to investigate. Two boys had a smaller one pinned. As we tried to convince them to let him go, one hit the kid a couple of times and the other kid kicked the smaller kid when he was on the ground. Then they walked away.

We helped the smaller kid get a shoe back on and then as he got up, he started to follow the other boys. I said something to him about letting things cool down but he either didn’t hear, understand, or agree.

I walked back to the other parents. Something caught my eye across the playground. The kids again had the little boy on the ground and were kicking him. Some instinctive thing kicked in and I started running the 100 yards towards where they were yelling, “Stop! Cut it out.”

Let’s be clear – I’m an endurance person, not a running person. If my yelling didn’t scare them, I bet my awkward sprint probably did. One kid let go, the little one got up, and the second kid started chasing him with me running after them both.

Fortunately, the director of the after school program was alerted by my yelling and came over to handle the situation. No doubt that not only he was more qualified but he also had a relationship with the kids. I walked away knowing the situation was in good hands.

But when I got home, I couldn’t find the envelope with the cash. I felt sick about it. However, I rationalized that my adrenaline fueled run across the playground was worth it.

I knew this wasn’t the Glee Club teacher’s problem so I figured out how to Venmo her the money. When I returned to pick up Miss O at the end of the after school class, the teacher said to me, “I got the money.

Confused, I asked, “The Venmo?” She shook her head and said, “The envelope with the cash.”

A student had found the envelope on the playground and tracked the teacher down to give it to her.

I don’t know how you connect the dots in this story. But for me, it was a God moment. I felt a shiver as I saw in hindsight the hand of something bigger than me drawing the thru line from start to finish.

(featured photo from pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

The Ups and Downs of Adventure

“Jobs fill your pocket, adventures fill your soul.” – Jaime Lyn Beatty

This past weekend I went on a bike ride with my kids. I think the below is a fairly accurate graph of the big emotions during the adventure. I didn’t chart the minor tremors as it’d look like we had been in an earthquake.

And this is how we remember it looking back four days later:

I don’t think this is limited to adventures with young kids. I’ve thought back and I can’t think of a single adventure that I have undertaken that didn’t come with at least one low moment. Tired, hungry, in pain, uncertain about success, sometimes all of the above. And yet, there are none that I wish I hadn’t done.

Now I’m just grateful that my kids keep my expedition muscles working. Because in the end, I think these adventures, big and small, teach us about life. We learn we can do it, survive the ups and downs, and in the process, do something worth remembering.

(all photos are mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

What Otters Think

Learn to sit back and observe, not everything needs a reaction.” – unknown

This past weekend we went to the zoo. Near the end of our time there, we were at the exhibit for the Asian Small-Clawed Otters. A keeper arrived with two small brown paper bags and threw one to each otter.

We were standing at the glass wall of the exhibit and there was a group of three adults next to us – two men and a woman in their thirties. Nine-year-old Miss O had commented on the group about five minutes earlier. She’d said, “Those people are either drunk or really happy.” Until she mentioned that I hadn’t been paying attention to them, even though their pace through this section matched ours. She was right that they were loud.

Our zoo does a pretty good job with creating natural exhibits and designing ways for the animals to have to find their food. As we stood to watch the otters try to open the bags, the group of three narrated the actions in a way that was intended to be funny.

Oh, this one hasn’t even gotten the bag open and that one has been munching for like five minutes.”

This one must be stupid. It can’t get into a paper bag.”

Oh no, don’t let it roll into the water!

Now the smart one is coming over to finish off the dumb one’s snack.”

Oops, it’s all pouring into the water now.”

I struggled to just watch the scene without paying attention to the people next to me. It was hard – they were loud and I was tired. We’d navigated almost four miles of walking through the zoo on a pretty busy day and the effort to keep the group together had made me peckish.

Even through my hungry haze, I wondered how much my other experiences are influenced by commentary. On one hand, it’s nice to hear what people more experienced on a subject think. On the other hand, not all commentary comes from reliable sources. I wrestle with taking in what’s going on and coloring in my own experience before being influenced by other’s perspectives.

Like in this case, I think that the slower one was taking its time to savor each treat.

Just like with the otters, may we all find the healthy things to chew on.

(photos are mine of Asian Small-clawed Otters at the Woodland Park Zoo)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.