Category: inspiration

Standing Up for Democracy: Lessons from Kids

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“To understand where you stand in own your life, you cannot remain seated.” – Christine E. Szymanski

I can rely on my kids to have a nose for what’s authentic. At 6 and 10 years old, they might not be able to tell me exactly why, but they can tell the difference between people who are phoning it in and others who are genuinely present.

At the end of the day this past Saturday, I asked them what they liked most about the day and what they could have done better. It’s part of our nighttime routine. Unless we are so tired that we’ve flipped our lids. That happens sometimes too.

They both answered that their favorite part when we went down to the little lake that is a five minute walk from our house and participated in a Stand Up For Democracy event. The organizers were trying to gather enough people to create a continuous loop of people to encircle the lake which is three miles in circumference.

What surprised me about the answer was they liked that even more than watching the Mariners down at the pub with our friend, Eric. Or playing with their friends, skateboarding, or building imaginary spaceships.

My kids can’t yet spell out the details of what makes a democracy, monarchy, or autocracy. But they can tell the good feeling of standing up for what matters and the sense of community that comes from people trying to quietly show their commitment. It’s authentic, it’s strong, and it feels better than worry.

I think they’ve got that right.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

When You Fall On Your Face

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“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

This isn’t a story about me falling on my face (although I have plenty of those stories) but a recent incident when my 6-year-old son, Mr. D, fell on his. Although I’m sure I echo the sentiments of many parents when I say I’d happily take my kids’ falls for them if I could.

It happened when we were playing Little League summer ball. Ten-year-old Miss O was able to play on the team too and it was an informal sandlot team that would divide into two teams and scrimmage with whoever showed up.

There was one difference between summer ball and the first season of baseball that Mr. D played – they played outs. If someone got the ball and forced an out or tagged an out, the player would go back to the dugout.

But in this hodgepodge of rules, the teams still batted everyone in their lineup each turn at bat. The last person at bat was the “homerun hitter” meaning they and anyone else who was on base would run home.

On the last inning of a scrimmage one night in July, Mr. D was the homerun hitter. He hit the ball squarely. But by the time he’d gotten to third base and was rounding to home, the other team had gotten the ball. All the players on the other team were chasing him down the third base line. It was only about five of them but it still felt like a terrifying and mad pursuit. That’s when he fell on his face.

He was furious! His sister tried to give him a hand up and he slapped it away. So she was furious because he’d refused her help. I tried to help too but he was inconsolable. Since he was the last hitter of the last inning of the game we managed to get to the car and leave but not before everyone was well aware of our upset.

On the way home, we talked about how sports makes us want to try and how it hurts when we don’t make the play. But the tradeoff is not trying at all. Actually, Miss O and I talked about that, Mr. D said very little.

At bedtime, Mr. D went to get his journal and wrote the very first thing he’s ever written in it. He asked me, “Mom, how do you spell ‘Slide like this?’”

The next morning he told me he wouldn’t be able to go to camp because he was still thinking about the baseball thing. I responded that he’d probably think about the baseball thing all day and it would be more tolerable at camp when he was busy than at home when he was not. He finally agreed to go to camp.

When we picked up the boys we were carpooling to camp with, he said to them, “I have to tell you a baseball story. It’s not good.” I was astounded. He’s not nearly as verbose as his sister.

It was only when he told the story to them that I understood that he didn’t fall on his face – he was trying to slide. But he’d never tried it before and didn’t know that you can’t slide from halfway down the base line. Or maybe you can – but it takes a lot more practice.

So, he fell on his face. He wrote about it. He told others about it. And once he did, seemed to be over it.

Here’s my takeaway. Sometimes we try new things and it doesn’t go well. It hurts like hell but you recover more quickly when you share.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

The Rope Team

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“Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When I was climbing mountains, I noticed a funny thing when we roped up on the higher slopes of a mountain. We transformed from being individual hikers to becoming a team. The physical manifestation made a psychological difference.

Fortunately, I’ve never had to arrest the fall of someone else while on a rope team. But I have willingly climbed into a crevasse. It made me immensely grateful for the people above holding on to the rope.

A similar team phenomenon happened to me and my kids a couple of weeks ago when we were on vacation.

It was perfectly smooth when the kids and I decided to go paddleboarding after dinner. But by the time we got our paddleboards into the water, it was starting to blow again.

We’d been paddling every day for ten days to get the feel for the tides and current. At the beginning of the vacation, six-year-old Mr. D was paddling with me riding on the back of his board. Once he’d gotten proficient enough with his strokes, he graduated to be on his own.

So Mr D was on his own paddleboard. Ten-year-old Miss O had decided she just wanted to ride along on mine. On this night, Mr. D wanted to go all the way down the bay to the pirate flag, a notable marker about a mile down the beach from where we launched.

When we were about halfway there, the wind was present but not too much of a factor. We held a family meeting to make sure we wanted to continue. Mr. D had looked at that flag for 10 days and was determined to get there.

We celebrated momentarily when we reached the pirate flag. Then Mr. D said he was tired and just wanted to rest. At nearly the same moment, the wind whipped up and started pushing us farther away from home.

I said aloud, mostly for Miss O’s benefit, “Please, God, help us.” We weren’t in immediate danger but it was going to be a hard paddle back. At any point, we could have paddled 20 yards to the to the beach and walked back. It would have been a slog pulling the boards but it was a viable option.

Miss O got philosophical about how we ask God for help. We weren’t asking for it to be easy – just for help in any form. As it was, Miss O volunteered to get on Mr. D’s board to both give it more weight and to paddle.

Even with the two of them, they were being pushed backwards by wind. So I attached my leash to their board and we paddled back as a team. I paddled on my board, Miss O and Mr. D took turns paddling on theirs. Roped together, we slowly made our way home.

The overall feeling when we hit the beach? Gratitude. Thank God Miss O had opted to ride along and had fresh arms. Thank God she made the transfer from one board to another without mishap. Thank God for making us a team.

Because that was what stuck with us. Just like with climbing, roping together turned paddling into a team building exercise -and it worked. There are so many ways we are buffeted by the winds of life. A team can make all the difference.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

And for anyone curious about the inside of a crevasse, here’s what it looks like:

Life is A Puzzle

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“Learn how to see, realize everything connects to everything else.” – Leonardo da Vinci

We did a few puzzles in the past couple of weeks while we were on vacation at the beach. Mostly Miss O and I chipped away at them with occasional assists from Mr. D and friends that came up to visit.

Five things I noticed about how doing a puzzle is like life. Or how life is like a puzzle.

  1. When you first sit down, all the pieces look the same and it feels impossible. The puzzle doesn’t start itself. Having an approach like turning all the pieces right side up and putting together the border pieces together makes it feel doable.
  2. You don’t find a piece unless you look. Sure, every once in a while you might get lucky and find something that fits as you walk by. But mostly, you have to be in the game if you want to make a match.
  3. There are many ways to find a piece – by color, by shape, by content. This reminds me of perspective and how we all see things differently.
  4. You can’t make something fit no matter how much you want it to. It goes easier when you honor the “no’s” in life.
  5. There’s nothing like the feeling of slotting in the last piece. But you can relish the satisfaction of connecting any two pieces if you aren’t too much in a hurry to get to the big picture. Enjoy the little moments.

I keep learning that playing IS life. It seems like we are just spending idle time but really we are gaining perspective on everything else. Because at least for me, those moments when you see the big picture help to inspire the awe in the everyday.

Just like the photo on the front of the puzzle box helps when putting it together. Right?

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

It’s On Us

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“In true dialogue both sides are willing to change.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“It’s on me.” I was explaining my parenting approach to my neighbors who telling me a story about their daughter. They were mid-sentence in talking about how their son-in-law travels leaving their daughter with three kids. Then they realized I am always alone with my kids and the story died mid-way through.

I laughed it off and explained that I think it’s easier not having to adjust to absence. I’ve seen this reaction with other parents who start to complain to me about being left with the kids and then end up apologizing to me. No need – I chose to parent alone when I had my kids by IVF and I’ve known from day one that it’s on me.

What I find interesting is the balance that I’ve had to find – or tried to find. I can’t be too touchy feely because I also have to be the disciplinarian. Mind you, I’m still pretty touchy feely but it’s tempered me a bit.

I’ve observed this sometimes with my parenting couple friends. One can be the “fun” parent knowing that the other parent will bring order. Or someone can be the “let’s spend money” parent knowing that the other will temper it with budgets. And sometimes when things get out of hand, the non-involved one absolves themselves saying, “well, they started it, they can see it through.”

Of course it goes beyond parenting. When there’s two, there’s an interplay that brings middle ground. One optimist and one pessimist. One adventurer and one safety-minded. One extravert and one introvert.

Being a single parent has made me more aware of the ways we can be extreme. Sure, we can make a mess, but knowing I’ll be the one to lead the clean-up keeps it in check. Sure, we can use our stockpiles (of food, art supplies, money, whatever), but knowing I’ll have to refill them makes me more conscious of the effort involved.

It makes me wonder if our cities, states, and countries would be better off if we all were Democans, Twigs, or whatever the country equivalent. Or at least behaved as if we were between elections. Would we do less of a pendulum swing if we knew we were the ones responsible for tempering it? I think we’d do more advocating for each cause we’re passionate about and less sitting back and bitching when it’s not “our guy” in office.

I’m sure I’m not the first person to suggest this. Well, here’s to remembering our responsibility in every arena and knowing it’s on us.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

The Difference Between Want and Need

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“Recognize what is simple. Keep what is essential.” – Lao Tzu

Yesterday morning, our first morning after returning from our road trip, I looked around the house and had a good laugh at the evidence of our settling in. I’d relished being home by sitting on my meditation cushion with all my meditation books around me. Five-year-old Mr. D played with all the sports equipment. And nine-year-old Miss O had gathered up all the materials and made slime.

It’s a defining act to travel. We pare down to essentials so that we can go on adventures. It forces us to know what’s vital to our health and sanity and pack accordingly. I’ve seen climbers who cut the pages out of a book because reading is important to them, but they don’t want to carry the whole weight.

Of course for our cushy road trip visiting friends who took great care of us, it’s not nearly as stark. But still, I couldn’t bring all my meditation books, D had to pare down to only some baseball gear, and Miss O could only bring a couple of stuffies.

But I love the way we better appreciate the luxury of all of our comfort when we come home. It feels as if part of traveling is helping us know what is essential for peace of mind wherever we go. We’ve come home a little wiser about the difference between what we want and what we need. Which is an important thing to know.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – in our families, friendships, at work and in the world.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

The Lifecycle of Luck

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“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

This past Friday my nine-year-old daughter, Miss O, was asked to fill in for the lead role of Michal in a musical production. The girl who was playing the role came down with a fever and there were just 24 hours before the show. The director texted me, “Is Miss O home and can I talk to her?” Yes and yes.

It’s so much easier for me to see patterns in other’s lives than my own. What unfolded in this opportunity showed me three things about the lifecycle of luck.

1. Intent

Tryouts for this production were four months ago. Along with about a dozen others, Miss O read for the part of King Saul’s daughter, Michal, in this musical about David and Goliath. The cast is made up of 4th-7th graders with an emphasis on 7th graders getting lead roles since it’s their last year to participate. Miss O knew that as a 4th grader she was unlikely to get the role but tried for it anyway.

2. Persistence

When the roles were handed out, she didn’t get picked for Michal and instead was assigned about 4-5 lines in addition to being part of the ensemble. She was really disappointed.

But after a day or two, she bounced back and felt okay about it. Then she was all in. She was at every practice for the last four months except one when we were out of town. She learned her lines, practiced the choreography, and completed all the assignments. She was excited for and dedicated to the roles she had.

3. Willingness

When the call came on Friday, I watched Miss O’s face as the director asked if she’d play the lead role of Michal. She answered without hesitation that she would do it. Then immediately grabbed the song book and started memorizing the lines.

Watching this unfold, I marveled at her willingness to say “yes” even though it meant a lot of work. She had the aptitude and the attitude to take this on. Memorizing is pretty easy for her and she likes to perform.

It was great luck that the director thought to ask her.  But stepping back, I think she worked hard at her small role and I think that’s why she was offered the big role.

Recently, I was talking with corporation communication specialist, Brian Hannon on the How To Share podcast about how to share professional communications (episode drops on Wednesday, 5/21). We agreed that opportunities don’t pop up when we are sitting on the sidelines but instead show up when we’re in the game. As Madeleine L’Engle said, “Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.”

But we have to aim high. Then not quit when we don’t get what we want but instead work hard at the parts we’re offered. Finally, we have to say “yes” when the big break comes, even though it’s “dressed in overalls and looks like work” as Thomas Edison said.

Miss O did a fantastic job in the role of Michal on Saturday night. She started to get nervous a couple hours before show time but understood that it was just because she cared. Then she settled back into the work she’d done and rocked it…which seems like appropriate acclaim for a musical about David and Goliath.

Here’s to picking up the phone when opportunity calls!

(featured photo is mine- Miss O playing Michal)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about how to share anything – to the appropriate audience, with the right permissions, at the most opportune time.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Awe in Nature

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Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world..” – Dacher Keltner

We were at our favorite beach this weekend and it had the intended restorative effect after being sick for a couple of weeks. I had no idea of the timing when I booked the AirBnB months ago, of course. Don’t you just love it when life works out?

When I was beachcombing with my kids, five-year-old Mr. D ran up to me to ask, “Can I keep this stick?”

I said, “But we already have collected a couple today.”

And he answered, “Yes, but this one is so interesting. It’s covered in stuff.”

I laughed and agreed it was unique.

The back of our car has a section for interesting sticks, shells, and rocks because there’s something to love about each. One stick is one half covered with bark and the other half bare. Another is flat. And by contrast, Mr. D also really likes the one that’s perfectly round.

Miss O does the same thing. It used to be with rocks until she filled her pockets up so much that her shorts would sag. Now its tiny sea shells.

But I go along with it because I’m a sap for connecting to nature in all its beautiful variations.

In his book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, UC Berkley professor of psychology Dacher Keltner writes about the goodness that comes from the awe we can experience in nature:

“In fact, it’s hard to imagine a single thing you can do that is better for your body and mind than finding awe outdoors. Doing so leads to the reduced likelihood of cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, and cancer.”
– Dacher Keltner in Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life

When put that way, I guess we’ll stick (pun intended) with the restorative time on the beach collecting little bits of nature that help remind us of the awe all around. It works for me!

(featured photo is mine of our latest collection of sticks)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I co-host a author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Motivated and Hopeful

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“Every sunrise is a blessing, it’s an opportunity to learn something new and to create something that can benefit others. It also gives a chance to make amends. Use it wisely before sunset.” – Eugenia Herlihy

Have you ever seen that math exercise where two people stand something like 20 feet apart? And with each move, they divide the distance between them in half so after the second move, they are 10 feet apart and after the third, five feet.

In the end, the point is that there is an endless number of moves because they’ll always be some distance, even if infinitesimal, between them.

There is no finish line.

It reminds me how I feel about my self-improvement. There’s always room for growth.  

Three recent things have inspired me to keep feeding a growth mindset. When Vicki and I talked with author Andrew Mayne, he described the year when he wanted to become an author. He set a goal to write ten books in a year. He’d write a book and then read a book on writing. I’ve been intrigued by the “feedback loop” as Andrew described it, even since that conversation.

Elizabeth from the Bleuwater blog took a photography course this Spring. As she shared her lessons on speed, aperture, focus, I realized how much I don’t know about photography, especially when I just grab a picture with my phone. You can see Elizabeth’s incredible photography that she submitted as her final here.

Vicki Atkinson wrote a fascinating post about editing last week, Learning to Rewrite. The conclusion that grabbed me? “Pack a punch with fewer words. Make every sentence count.”

The math exercise reminds me that we will never completely occupy the space of another person on this planet. These recent posts and conversations remind me that there are never ending ways to inspire each other and improve. Taken all together, it makes me feel so motivated and hopeful…and never bored.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I co-host a author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about collaboration and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Gone Fishing

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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.” – Mark Twain

I once heard an interview with psychiatrist and author, Dr. Scott Peck, where he said the reason he got so much done was being he spent two hours a day doing nothing.

He called it his thinking time until he realized people felt free to interrupt thinking time. He changed it to his praying time and everyone left him alone.

In the interest of doing more of nothing, I’m taking today off. Maybe even every Wednesday off. May you all get a little bit of nothing done today too!

(featured photo from Pexels)