Tag: inspiration

Inspiration and More

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“Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist.” – Pablo Picasso

The other day I was with my five-year-old son, Mr. D, in a room of storage lockers. He was checking everything out and said, “Look at that wonder.”

I followed his gaze to a padlock that had a piece of tape with a question mark on it. My interpretation was that the owner of the lock was unknown. But I liked Mr. D’s better – just look at that wonder.

I get so much inspiration from my kids. They see things with new eyes and help me to peel away my assumptions that cover over so many things.

But there are other ways to break out of that mold and we talk about some in the latest episode of the Sharing the Heart of Matter podcast. Vicki Atkinson and I are with author, graphic designer, and blogger, Dave Williams.

I love reading something that gets my creative juices going. But even better in the community of podcasting and blogging is catching a ride on everyone else’s enthusiasm!

In this episode, Dave Williams, tells us about the inspiration he gleaned from reading Felicia Day’s book, “Embrace Your Weird.”

Felicia’s book is more than a read, it’s an experience of exercises to break us out of our creative ruts. Dave shares his take on what inhibits our natural flow and some of the things that inspire him.

This is a great episode with the incredibly talented and creative Dave Williams. We get to draft off of his inspiration, Felicia Day’s book, and the flow of creative sparks.

I’m certain you’ll enjoy the scenic and inspiring places we go when we share the power of story.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 82: “Embrace Your Weird” with Author Dave Williams

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Transcript for this episode: Episode 82 transcript

Links for this Episode:

Dave Williams – writings and drawings (wordpress.com)

‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ and feeling more okay about creating weirdness – Dave Williams (wordpress.com)

Dave’s review of Felicia Day’s book can be found here.

“Embrace Your Weird” by Felicia Day – linked here.

(featured photo from Pexels)

My Favorite Quotes about Writing

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“I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself. ” – Marlene Deitrich

This post was originally published on 8/30/2023. Heads up – you may have already seen this.

I think it’s safe to say that writing is the subject that I’ve studied longest. Sure, it started with just grasping the pencil with some dexterity and has developed through school essays, technical writing, and now to developing a personal angle with memoir writing, and blogging. But whatever the genre, it feels like an incredibly rich and vast subject of study.

So here are five of my favorite quotes about writing.

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” – Richard Bach

“Write what you need to read.” – Adage

“The discipline of creation, be it to paint, compose, write, is an effort towards wholeness.” – Madeleine L’Engle

“I didn’t have time to write you a short letter, so I wrote you a long one.” – Mark Twain

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” – Stephen King

What are your favorite quotes for writing inspiration?

Being Difficult

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“There will never be an “us” if I play small.” – Sharon Preiss

Last Monday when Miss O, Mr. D, and I were getting ready for bike camp, nine-year-old Miss O was dragging her feet. She had a ton of “problems” that were blocking her: she couldn’t find shoes, Cooper the dog was in her way, her helmet was missing one unicorn ear, she didn’t remember the route we usually use to go down to the lake, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I turned to her and said, “You are being difficult.”

She replied, “I am.” And then added, “I wish I could tell you when you are being difficult too.”

To which I replied, “Please do. But I’d especially love to know when I’m being difficult when others are trying to be helpful and supportive or if it’s when you all are dragging your feet.”

I’ve been troubled by this conversation ever since. In fact, I’m finding it hard to write about. Here’s my best guess at why.

I think I’m starting to experience the generational BS that women in my family pass down. And it’s so ingrained and insidious, I’m not even doing it intentionally.

“You are being difficult.” It’s like code for saying that I expect her to fall in line and be agreeable. To be flexible and accommodating like a young woman.

To be fair, she was being difficult. It’s just that the word hits a note of a gender stereotype that I’ve tried to avoid my whole life. I had no intention of passing it on. Then it slipped out of my mouth.

I’m naturally pretty agreeable. But inheriting the expectations of how a woman should behave has kept me from speaking up when I needed to – both in pursuing my own interests and also when something is wrong. And it kept me playing small. Trying not to stand up or stand out has kept me quiet about what I know or am capable of doing. It’s made me intentionally dim my light so I’m not too much.

It’s taken me decades in leadership positions to figure out that I can be genial AND forthright. And when needed, it’s acceptable to be hard-headedly, certainly, yet kindly, difficult.

So, I’m officially okay with Miss O being difficult. While I prefer she not do it when we are heading out the door, it’s fine if she does that too. Because sometimes that is when we learn to flip the script.

(featured photo from Pexels)

The horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day

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“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” – Pema Chӧdrӧn

On this past Saturday, we had a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day.*

Cooper the dog, had some potty accidents that we discovered. A couple that I found and cleaned up first thing in the morning, and a couple that Miss O unceremoniously stumbled upon. Ewww. Apparently, Cooper had GI issues after his surgery to remove the grass from his ear on Thursday.

We found some bugs in our pancake mix.

Then nine-year-old Miss O saw that the vines in Rusty, the crested gecko’s enclosure had fallen down. On closer inspection, we’d been misting too much and the whole enclosure was a swamp. So, instead of our to-do list chores, we spent all morning rehabilitating Rusty’s setup.

[Side note: We called my niece to get some advice. She’s the one who gave us Rusty. Miss O told her that we’d gotten Rusty out of the enclosure by saying, “We executed Rusty.” We quickly clarified that we’d evacuated, not executed, Rusty.]

At a kid’s birthday party, five-year-old Mr. D got hit in the head by a water balloon thrown by an 11-year-old boy who had been spitting in the ballons before hurling them.

Our tap water turned brown.

It was literally one thing after another. Some things caused by us, like Rusty’s enclosure. Some things that were random like the water turning brown. Some things caused by other humans like the water balloon.

There is probably nothing that peeves me more than life messing with my efficiency. I was not in a great mood, but I’ve learned from experience that rough days call for leadership, even when I don’t feel like it.

At one point in the day, Miss O exasperatedly said, “This is awful. I don’t know what to do!”

So, we talked about my dad’s approach to just find the next right thing to do. And we took comfort that what we did have to respond to “life” with was each other. We were doing pretty good job of sticking together.

Then as the kids were getting ready for bed, a huge lightning storm came in. Seattle very rarely gets thunderstorms so this was a rare and incredible show. After they brushed their teeth, we snuggled in my bed with all the curtains open and watched the storm.

It was fitting. On a day that seemed extra “life-y,” to let the storm and rain exhaust itself and pass on through. In that way, we weathered the storm.

(featured photo from Pexels)

*Title is a riff on the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judy Viorst

Pursuing Goals Passionately

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“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” – unknown-

When I was in third grade, Olivia Newton-John released her Totally Hot album. I had never wanted anything so much in my whole life (all eight years of it). My 25 cent allowance and lack of savings made a $7 album seem way out of reach.

The way I remember it, my mom thought it was a silly thing to spend money on and informed me I didn’t have enough money. But I wouldn’t be deterred. Eventually, I begged, borrowed, and did extra chores until I bought Totally Hot as my first album (and yes, it was a true vinyl album.)

I thought of this story when listening to the Ten Percent Happier podcast, The Science of Manifestation with Dr. James R. Doty. He has six steps for manifestation:

  1. Reclaim your power to focus
  2. Clarify what you truly want
  3. Remove the obstacles in your mind
  4. Embed the intention into our subconscious
  5. Pursue your goal passionately
  6. Let go of attachment to any particular outcome

[Side note: Dr. Doty also mentions the empty satisfaction of materialism, much preferring community and service for true happiness. For the record, I used Totally Hot to create dance routines with my friends. :)]

The Ten Percent Happier podcast also made me of blogging friend and author, Mark Petruska, who is a master manifester. So Vicki Atkinson and I talked with Mark in the latest episode of our podcast.

Mark tells us a great story about how he willed a campsite into existence. Even better, it was for his wife’s birthday! And it was in one of my favorite places – Mt. Rainier National Park!

We love Mark’s incredible mix of optimism, focus, and passion. So Vicki and I get him to elaborate how he harnesses the power of manifestation.

Building on the published work of Stanford professor, Dr. James Doty, we talk about the steps Dr. Doty suggests for manifesting outcomes in our lives. This isn’t just wishing for something, it is digging one’s heels in and passionately pursuing an outcome.

Which Mark illustrates beautifully with a great story about manifesting a refund.

This is a great episode about the power of setting our intentions, not listening to naysayers, and manifesting the things that are important. It’s inspirational, powerful, and fun!

I’m certain you’ll enjoy the scenic and beautiful places we go when we share the power of story.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 80: Mastering Manifestation with Mark Petruska

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Transcript for this episode: HoTM episode 80 transcript

Links for this Episode:

Mark My Words – MARK PETRUSKA | WRITER

Ohanapecosh, By Gosh! – Mark My Words (markpetruska.com)

(featured image from Pexels)

It’ll Be Alright In the End

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“Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.” – The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Months ago, when I signed Mr. D up for his very first summer camp (rock climbing, in case it matters), I assumed that it would start at the same time as Miss O’s. For his age group 3-5, the camp ends at noon. Miss O’s older group goes until 3pm. But certainly they’d start all the groups at 9am, right?

When I took a closer look before the camp started this week, I discovered Mr. D’s doesn’t start until 9:30am. When I realized that detail, I started inwardly groaning about the inconvenience.

But just briefly. Because in the last dozen years, I adopted a shift that has made an immense difference to my happiness. I started assuming that “it” is for the best. That whatever is irritating me is just an opportunity opening that I can’t yet see. Or that I may never totally understand because it’s above my pay grade.

This has a Biblical basis (Romans 8:28), and a Buddhist basis, but I don’t think it requires a particular spiritual tradition. It’s just an act of staying open to the possibility that there’s a perspective that I can’t yet see.

For anyone that is thinking this sounds Pollyana-ish, I get it. But this change came from the darkest days of my life when I was stuck in all the feelings of failure after my divorce and clueless about what I was going to do next.

So many things came from that vulnerable time in the dark: my meditation practice and faith, the conversations with my father, my two beautiful children, my writing. And also this idea that I should stop doubling-down on irritation and instead stay present for whatever is unfolding.

It’s easier to do this for things like camp drop-offs. In this case, the payoff came almost instantly. Of course, it was beneficial to have Mr. D’s camp start a half hour later. He got to see his sister get dropped off, and then have some time warming up on his own.

 It gets harder when the kids are sick and I have to cancel my hair appointment. Or the babysitter cancels and I can’t go out with my friends.

So, I practice with the small irritations – believing that it’ll be alright in the end. And if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

Riding the Rhythm Into the Comfort Zone

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“Each one must learn the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words.” – Smowhala Wanapum

We’ve just returned from two week vacation on the beach. It was an incredible privilege to be able to take that time. It was born of a feeling that Mr. D needed a break between his 52-weeks-a-year preschool and starting Kindergarten. But it turned out to be something we all needed.

We had lots of friends join us. My friend, Eric, was with us a good deal of the two weeks. Also, my oldest friend, Katie, my meditation teacher, Deirdre, my mom, and one of Miss O’s friends came with her mom for part of the time.

But we also spent a number of days just the three of us. For anyone not in this phase of life with young children, it’s a tricky thing to present children with a whole lot of unstructured time. Ah, who am I kidding? It seems to be problematic for most every age.

For us, it started out with some rough moments. Mr. D lost it a few days in a row. The things that set it off were so innocuous. Like the time he didn’t want Miss O and her friend to go out in the dinghy after dinner even though he was invited and included. It had to be something else bugging him.

And then we found the rhythm. Activity, break, activity, food, activity, break, food, activity, bed. For example, wake up, walk on the beach, and then take a break; go swimming and then break for lunch; then pickleball; take a break; dinner and paddleboarding, then have some downtime watching shows and go to bed.

Here’s the lesson I derived for myself – when life feels new or unsettling, find the rhythm. Often the rhythm gets us through even when we are outside of our comfort zone.

It’s like every new hike or mountain I’ve undertaken. I feel the anxiety of not knowing where I’m going. And then I shoulder my pack and start walking. Soon enough, I will find or experience the answers. I just need to rely on the rhythm of my pace until I get there.

Creating Space

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

When I packed up my car to go on vacation with my family last week, it was so heavily loaded that there was no floor space visible. The cereal boxes were under Mr. D’s feet and came out a little dented. I hauled the organic milk the kids drink because it is so much more expensive on the island. I even brought our own snuggly blankets because the ones at the cabin are 40 years old and scratchy.

What happened to the days when I could travel with just a toothbrush and passport?

Not claiming that I ever did go THAT light. Especially climbing trips came with duffel bags of gear. But it felt like I could.

To make this even sillier, this vacation was just going 90 minutes from home and on an island that’s the 4th biggest in the US. To put it all in perspective about how close to commerce we are, even when on vacation, there’s a Chinese restaurant 10 minutes from where we stay.

But still I loaded up the car. Even with all that brought, it wasn’t long before I realized that I forgot to bring my favorite tea. A blueberry green tea by Yogi that is pretty hard to find.

As I was lamenting the tea I forgot, I was chagrined to remember that I only discovered this tea because I was on a business trip last year and didn’t have my usual.

Sheesh, I wonder how many times I will have to learn that when we leave space – by breaking from habit or routine or just doing something differently – it creates room for discovery.

My Window Washing Friends

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“A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.” – anonymous

When we arrived at the place on the Whidbey Island beach that we are staying this week, the windows facing the water needed to be cleaned. Last year when we rented this place for vacation, I didn’t think to wash the windows until the end of the time we were there.

But in the spirit of live and learn, I remember this year on the second day we were here. Luckily, two of my dearest friends, Katie and Eric were with my kids and me on that day and we washed off the salt spray residue together.

I think window washing is one of my new favorite metaphors for friendship. Dear friends are the ones who you allow to see through the most transparent layer. They are the people who help wash your interior windows. Friends as the people who know when your outlook has gotten grimy and apply a good helping of elbow grease to clear it. And who you trust when they say, “Looks good!”

I could run this metaphor into the ground. But I’ll stop there and say how grateful I am for dear friends who make washing windows fun!

Because it’s a great segue to the podcast episode my dear friend, Vicki Atkinson and I did this week. Dr. Stein has become a great friend of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast so it was so fitting that he came on to share revealing and delightful stories about friendship.

He tells of the three categories of friendship according to Aristotle. And we talk about the investment that it takes to build a platonic relationship with another.

Of course, with investments come payoffs. And Dr. Stein coaches us through how to think about that term when it comes to friendship.

In the course of any lasting relationship, apologies come into play. Dr. Stein tells us some wonderfully illustrative stories about apologies that help to get to the heart of apology.

I’m certain you’ll enjoy the scenic and beautiful places we go when we share the power of story.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 78: The Blessings and Responsibilities of Friendship with Dr. Gerald Stein

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Links for this episode:

About Friendship⁠ by Dr. Gerald Stein

⁠Becoming Close Friends: A Practical Guide ⁠⁠by Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

⁠Episode 78 post by Vicki Atkinson on Sharing the Heart of the Matter

Dr. Gerald Stein’s Blog: ⁠Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

Other podcast episodes with Dr. Stein:

⁠Episode 60: The Perils of Prediction with Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

⁠Episode 46: Being Your Own Best Friend With Dr. Gerald Stein – Part I⁠

⁠Episode 47: Being Your Own Best Friend With Dr. Gerald Stein – Part II⁠

⁠Episode 37: The Waiting Game with Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

⁠Episode 29: Accidental Philanthropists with Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

⁠Episode 20: The Art of the Interview with Dr. Gerald Stein⁠

From the Hosts:

Vicki’s recently released book: ⁠Surviving Sue⁠

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: ⁠Finding My Father’s Faith⁠

Resilience and The Right Team

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“Children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care that they get.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I know it’s bad form to brag about your kids. So I’ll ask for your apology in advance. I want to set the expectations appropriately, and then still do exactly what I want to do. Because I was so inspired by my four-year-old that it seems worth passing along.

Two days ago, I saw my son, Mr. D, pull off an incredible feat of resilience. He went to an Aikido class expecting that he could test for his yellow belt. Not only did he expect this, but he’d told his teachers at school, and we’d gotten my mom to come to the class to watch. Plus his favorite person on the planet, his darling older sister, would be there.

But when he did his practice test, he screwed up the forward rolls. The Sensei is a very good teacher and won’t let anyone take the test until they’ve got it down. So, she let him know before his class started that he wouldn’t be able to test that day.

He lined up for class with his bottom lip quivering and he kept glancing at me to commiserate his disappointment. The crestfallen look on his face was enough that I felt like crying myself. But about halfway through the 50-minute class, he took a deep breath in, squared his shoulders, and visibly moved on from the disappointment.

By the end of class, he was fully participating and laughing. When we went home, he kept practicing the move he messed up. He was still only landing on the correct foot about fifty percent of the time.

Then yesterday morning, he popped up out of bed and wanted to show me his rolls. He thought hard about it, and nailed it. After about a half dozen correct ones, he announced he was ready to test. When we went to Aikido class yesterday afternoon, he stepped up and nailed the test.

Expectation, disappointment, then coming back to earn it – kids do these things in such quick succession that they make it look easy. It makes me wonder if as grown-ups we remember these are part of a cycle. We just have to keep rolling to get through it.

One other thing strikes me. Kids have a whole network of people cheering them on. Teachers, coaches, parents, grandparents, and often even random bystanders will jump in to tell them they’re doing great.

Which makes me wonder if adults have the same. Are we cultivating the friends, partners, colleagues, and mentors that help us continue to be resilient? Are we being those people for others? It might make all the difference.