Turning Distress into Action: Lessons from Failure

Failure is only an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

My mom said our prayer before dinner on Monday night. One snippet resonated deeply with how I’ve been feeling when I listen to the news these days.

I don’t have her words exactly right but it was something like, “Dear Lord, helps us with the distressing current events.” Then she added something like, “Lord, we trust you are at work in the world. Please help us to see how.”

I’ve come to realize that political failure is a lot like personal and professional failure. There’s a period to grouse about it, at least for a bit. But mostly it’s an invitation to work hard to learn from it and use it as motivation for change.

I realize that when I feel in agreement with my local and national leaders, I’m not very involved in politics. But when I feel like the actions of our leaders are reckless, cruel, divisive, greedy, and/or misaligned with our values, I’m fired up to do something. Whether it’s being of service, contributing where’s there’s need, or reaching out to representatives, I’m far more willing to jump in.

I’m not a fan of failure – but I have to admit it’s a great motivator. I’d love for there to be an easy answer to my mom’s prayer but I suspect that getting involved is one component.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

The Freshness of the Day

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius

We spent this last weekend at a cabin in the woods by a bay. It was a really cool log cabin owned by some friends for decades so it was filled with relics and treasures. A long pine dining table with log benches. Cocktail swords made out of metal. Wooden storage boxes filled with candles and flashlights. Railings made of rough hewn logs. An enormous stone fireplace.

But it was true cabin. A great main room with two loft spaces for sleeping. In one loft, my brother and sister-in-law had a bed. In the other loft, there were two beds where my kids and I slept. Cooper the dog didn’t like the steep wood stairs so he slept downstairs in the great room.

Point being, it was five people and one dog in one room. A pretty large and very cool room, but none of the usual walls we are accustomed to in our homes. So I was able to witness awakening in a different way.

Cooper woke up first and I could hear the click-click of his nails on the wood floor. Once I got him fed and settled, I sat in a chair by the window. And then over the next hour, one-by-one each person stretched from sleep and came awake.

The snoring stopped, the breathing got lighter, the bodies shifted a bit side-to-side before presumably (I didn’t witness this particular moment), the eyes came open. There was an incredible freshness to the start of the day.

Outside the light started to displace the dark. The birds started chirping and whirring about.  The smooth water reflected the rising light. A fog settled heavily over the land across from the cabin and frost covered trees poked out from the top.

What a joy and honor it is to awaken and experience the newness of a day.

Early morning view of a bay with a hills rising on the other side enshrouded in fog

(photos are mine – featured photo is of the cabin and the second photo is of my view as the sun came up)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Transforming Criticism into Creative Fuel

Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler

This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.


I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.

I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.

I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.

But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.

Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.

Or from John O’Donohue:

When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue

These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.

Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.

Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

For the Love of Pete

What we love, others will love and we will show them how.” – Wordsworth

No, I don’t mean that title as a mild oath. I mean it literally. We love talking with Pete Springer. He is such a connector in this WordPress community. And for every conversation we have with Pete, I walk away feeling uplifted, entertained, and inspired.

This holds for the latest podcast that Vicki Atkinson and I did with Pete: Episode 99: The Gift That Keeps Giving with Pete Springer. In this episode, the inspiration comes in remembrance of his great mentor and friend, Nancy Wheeler.

Nancy showed how to give the gift of herself, to quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. In her years as a teacher, principal, mentor and community member, she lived a life full of service and joy.

Pete tells us the stories that are so uplifting and exemplary. Of how Nancy empowered others, created relationships, took people under her wing, and knew how to bring out talent.

In each example, we get a glimpse of how to live with a big and open heart. Pete paints the picture of how one person can do so much!

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling about how to give the gift of ourselves.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 99: The Gift that Keeps on Giving with Pete Springer

Episode 99 Transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Pete Springer – Passionate Teacher and Future Children’s Author

My Heroine – Pete Springer

They Call Me Mom – Pete’s beautiful book

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith;

(featured photo from Pexels)

Making Memories

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss

I put my hand in my coat pocket this morning and came out with a shell, two rocks, and a coin. The collection made me smile because they came from spending our New Years holiday week at the beach.

Staying at the beach in the winter felt like leaving everything else behind. The only thing we had to be mindful of was the tide chart. With the new moon on December 30th, the tides were pretty extreme. The water was really high during the day. So much so that the beach was under water except for about an hour window mid-morning. At night, there was a huge low tide.

So we threw rocks, balanced on logs, and looked for treasure when we could during the daylight hours. Then we went for night walks on the beach. The kids and I put on our hats with head lamps built in and walked out with Cooper on the smooth, flat sand.

On a couple of those nights, the sky was clear and the plethora of stars we could see were awe-some. Five-year-old Mr. D came inside and drew out Orion’s belt and the Big Dipper so that he could remember them.

The memory that seared into my heart was one night when we reached the beach and the kids fell into a line ahead of me. Nine-year-old Miss O in the front with her light shining out wide, Cooper in the middle visible only because of his white coat, and Mr. D not far behind with his light trained on the ground at his feet. They made a beautiful line parallel to the water as the waves lapped softly in accompaniment.

I’m going to leave the shell from my pocket on my calendar. It’s a reminder that while making appointments is part of life, the real goal is to make memories.

Six Reasons Giving is Good for You

It is not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

This post was originally published on a different site on 12/20/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.


My eight-year-old daughter and I were hurrying into a store to grab a couple of holiday things the other day. When she asked about the Salvation Army bell ringer out front, I gave her a couple of dollars to put in the pot. She was hesitant so we did it together. As she wiggled the bills into the slot, the bell ringer paused for a moment and asked, “Do you know what this money goes for?

My daughter shook her head “no.”

The bell ringer leaned in to look her right in the eye, and said, “If people don’t have money for rent or to buy food or money for presents, it’ll help.”

My daughter replied, “So people can buy toys for their kids!” and walked away smiling.

The Greater Good lab at Berkeley offers some research back evidence that there are five ways giving is transformative.

  1. Giving makes us feel happy
  2. Giving is good for our health
  3. Giving promotes cooperation and social connection
  4. Giving evokes gratitude
  5. Giving is contagious

And there’s a bonus reason as well. Research shows that people that donate money earn MORE the next year. It’s not that there is a cosmic hand that makes it so (not to say there isn’t a cosmic hand but the research doesn’t prove it one way or another, of course!). But the explanation was that it makes us feel so good that we are more happy and effective at our jobs. How’s that for lining up giving and our self-interest?

So, if you are looking for a way to earn more at your job next year, let me suggest the Fulginiti Family Trio’s holiday song fundraiser led by Todd Fulginiti. You get to both listen to a great song and help a good cause addressing homelessness in Lancaster, PA.

I hope that all the giving of the season is leaving you feeling healthy, happy, grateful, and connected!

(featured photo from Pexels)

A Fond Farewell

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain

I’ve become entranced with a word lately: inkling.

Inkling according to Merriam-Webster is a slight knowledge or vague notion. It comes from Middle English yngkiling meaning “whisper or mention.”

When I think of the inklings I’ve gotten, they relate to the niggling feeling that something is off. I’ve had inklings about big events like when my business partner told me of my ex-husband’s infidelities and right before I was laid off. Kinda like a surprise party when everyone stops talking to you in advance.

And I get inklings about little things like when one of my kids is about to catch a cold. Something isn’t quite right about how they react or eat food and it sets off the radar.

For me, inklings are closely related to the internal God whispers, those insistent notions that seem Divinely inspired. On a recent morning when I meditated, I had the urgent sense that I needed to reach out to our dear blogging friend, Julia Preston.

Later that day, I discovered that she’d passed away the night before at the age of 85. She hadn’t blogged much after her cancer diagnosis but she’s been present in emails and comments in the last few months.

After I published one of my favorite posts about the words I become entranced with, My Love Affair with Words, Julia jokingly asked what word I associated with her. I had no hesitation before responding “luminescent.” Julia glowed with love and light for all. She faced her diagnosis with that same delightful curiosity about what comes next.

Her last blog post hinted about the light and love we all can (and should) tap into. Julia left us with the question in When We Gonna: “When are we gonna turn the world around with the power of our thoughts? When are we gonna create light instead of dark and love instead of fear?

Julia was laid to rest yesterday. For anyone who has an inkling to do something in her honor, her favorite causes were St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital and the ASPCA.

RIP, dear Julia. Your light and love remains!

For more about Julia’s profound impact, please see Vicki Atkinson‘s beautiful reminiscence in Collective Gratitude: The Feast Before the Feast

And Julia’s most recent book is available on Amazon: Voices: Who’s In Charge of the Committee in My Head?

(featured photo from Pexels)

Use Your Words

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As a mom of a 4-year-old and 8-year-old, I frequently find myself using the phrase, “Use your words.” The other day, my youngest wanted something on a high-up shelf and was pointing to it. I looked up and there were only like a gazillion possibilities. So I said, “use your words.”

At his age, his words are imprecise. Last night could mean the night prior but it could also mean anytime in the past. Orange might be anything on the spectrum between yellow and magenta. But even words that don’t guide directly are more helpful than guessing.

It made me think about all the ways we can use words, especially in writing. Here are three of my favorites:

Direction-instruction

Our ability to teach other people what we know or have discovered is astounding. If I had to draw it out or act it out, we’d all be here for a LOOOONG time.

“The capacity to learn is a gift; The ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.”

Brian Herbert

Whether I’m reading how to replace a board on my deck or the finer points of philosophy, I’m so grateful that others use their words to communicate what they have learned because it helps me immensely.

Process-connect

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”

Hafiz

I frequently don’t understand “life.” I wend my way through the day and it seems like there are some unifying threads running through it if I could just see it from enough distance. But then I slow down to write it down and something magically pops. Here’s an example.

The other day a co-worker unloaded in an out-of-character way. I was so surprised and impacted by this that I wrote it down as a story, simply for my own use – almost a transcription of “they said” and “I said.” By the time I’d gotten the words out, I felt as if I’d created a storage space for the event; a way to buffer the rest of my day so that the after-effects of my conversation didn’t layer on to all the rest of my interactions.

Then two days later I got an email from the co-worker apologizing. They let me know about some personal stuff going on that colored their conversation with me. We can process it now (and maybe save ourselves from having to apologize) or we can process later, but putting words to the experience helps sort it all out.

One of the most impactful ways I think we use words is this full-circle processing and connection. We write to understand and then, for the stuff we publish, it connects us to others and their experience.

Amuse-entertain

At bedtime the other night, I was warning my 8-year-old daughter not to hit her brother. She retorted to me, “What? Do you want to me to grow up all Martin Luther King like non-violent?” I was so surprised by the out of the blue reference that I not only stopped talking, but also burst out laughing. And then we were all giggling and whatever had caused the kerfuffle was forgotten.

Words have magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.

Sigmund Freud

Yes, I do want my kids to grow up all non-violent. They probably have a better chance of that if they remember to use their words, hopefully in ways that invoke the best use of that magical power.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Life: Perfect and Precious

Our life experiences will have resonances within our innermost being, so that we will feel the rapture of being alive.” – Joseph Campbell

Two weeks ago, on the same day that my niece had a baby, I got laid off from my job. I know that seems like two disparate events. But hear me out because they are the both the birth of new things.

It’s not hard to see the first. My beautiful niece says that she’s having a hard time sleeping when the baby is sleeping because she can’t stop looking at him. “He’s just so perfect.” And she’s enthralled with interpreting his every expression and sound.

I’ve seen the pictures – he indeed is absolutely perfect and precious.

Losing my job was a shock. I’ve never been laid off before and so it was a completely new experience. But twinned with the surprise was a feeling of elation. I was free. I try not to act giddy when I talk to the others affected by this layoff. But honestly, and I promise that this isn’t toxic positivity or denial, for me I knew this was a really good thing, even when it signals hard work.

I’ve been an entrepreneur for most of my career so I suspect that helps take an edge off the fear. And when I peal back that cover, I have a chance at seeing underneath to the opportunity. Similar to babies, I have to work hard to decipher the signs and signals of the bread crumbs where life leads me.

Life comes with pain – kinda like childbirth. And on the flip side, it too is perfect and precious to have the opportunity to keep growing.

P.S. Everyone that I’ve seen in real life has been able to take one look at me and sense the burden lifted from me. If you are worried about me, truly, I’m fine, the kids know and it’s all good. One of the things I’m so grateful for this week of American Thanksgiving is the gift of time with them.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Dreams, Writing and Creativity

Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinhem

I had a friend who once told me that when his wife woke up from dreams in which he was behaving badly, he’d pay for it all day. He didn’t actually have to be dismissive or philandering – because on those days, she’d treat him as if he already done it.

I can attest to the lingering effect of dreams. Even if I don’t remember exactly what happened, I can awaken powerfully emboldened or ambiguously scared. So I love this podcast episode in which Vicki Atkinson and I are talking with author, blogger, and former newspaper writer, Melanie McGauran about decoding our dreams. We love our conversations with Melanie – she is so engaging and insightful.

This is such a fascinating episode. The interior of our minds is an interesting, and sometimes scary, place. But it is so fun how Melanie brings her love of mysteries to this practice of sifting through the clues.

Melanie talks about her fascination with dreams and how she both remembers hers and extends them. It’s a wonderful practice to not only appreciate the dreamscape but also focus the mind in the middle of the night.

She introduces us to the work of Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams and his insight that in dreaming, we access our memory tree but without the guardrails of logic.

Melanie combines that memory mixology with her unstoppable creativity, joy and problem-solving to decode dreams.

This episode is such a fun take on dreaming, writing and creativity. We love Melanie’s passion and interest and get to see that in action as she helps us make stories from our dreams.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in conversation, and in dreams.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 94: Decoding Our Dreams with Melanie McGauran

Episode 94 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this episode:

Late and Lost by Vicki Atkinson

Melanie’s blog: https://leavingthedooropen.com/

“Why We Sleep” – Matthew Walker, Ph.D

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels)