inspiration – Page 6 – Surprised By Joy

Suffering

February 24, 2025February 23, 2025Posted in love, UncategorizedTagged healing, inspiration, love, relationships63 Comments

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I don’t often think about my ex-husband, for better or for worse. [Yes, that was a marriage joke. 😊] After we divorced, he got married to his third wife. I discovered, once I wasn’t married to him, that I did want kids and had them on my own.

But something I read the other day made me think of something he said fifteen years ago when our marriage was unravelling. “I suffered so much as a kid that I don’t want to suffer any more now.” It was his excuse for not wanting to do the work to figure out the why of his infidelities.

He did suffer as a kid. His parents divorced when he was three years old. His mom remarried a man that ended up going to prison for bank robbery. He was in high school and living with his dad and his dad’s third wife until his dad and step-mom left town in the middle of the night to move 1,000 miles away without telling him because they were in trouble with the IRS.

My ex was a smart kid. He figured it out and managed to work his way through college to create a different life than his parents.

Here’s what I read that made me think of my ex:

“While I am not a victim, I didn’t ask for certain shaping experiences to happen to me. I didn’t ask to be slapped or ridiculed as a boy or to be mistreated by lifelong friends later in life. In truth, If I had experienced different things, I would have different things to say.

What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for distortion or illusion. In this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.

To voice things as they are is the nearest medicine.”

— The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo

That meditation helped me to understand that the point of cleaning our wounds isn’t to suffer more, it’s to heal at that deeper level.

Here’s the funny thing. In not wanting to do his work, my ex made me want to do mine. He’s right – there’s too much suffering in this world. I was motivated to heal my wounds so I don’t thoughtlessly create others.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Things About Parenting I Think I’ve Learned So Far, Part 2

February 10, 2025February 9, 2025Posted in ParenthoodTagged confidence, dreams, humor, inspiration, love, parenting, relationships79 Comments

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” – W.E.B. Dubois

It’s been a couple of years since I originally compiled a list of what I thought I knew. As I sit down to write this update, I realize that the richness of parenting comes with a lot of doubt. What works one day with one kid doesn’t necessarily work the next with another.

So in the spirit of admitting that I don’t really know anything, but still keep trying, here’s what I think I’ve learned about parenting recently.

Don’t interrupt a child trying to tie their shoes.

Once they talk like adults, it’s harder to remember that they don’t have the brain development to go along with the vocabulary.
Remembering that BEFORE I speak is what comes with maturity

It takes a lot of food to support those growing brains. One trick is to teach them to cook.
Anything they participate in making tastes better.

Once they are out of car seats, it’s much easier to get IN the car.
But it’s harder to get TO the car.

Motivation is touchy – too much pressure and they zing out of control. Too little pressure and they don’t move. It’s like coaxing an element from solid to liquid form so be careful with the Bunson Burner.

Many clues about the internal state can be discerned by listening. As Lawrence Cohen said, “Children don’t say ‘I had a hard day, can we talk?’ They say, ‘Will you play with me?‘”

Growth is not a straight line.

Some issues will solve themselves without parental involvement. Learn to hang back.

Confidence and independence go hand-in-hand. But both start from the heart. When we believe they can, they do too.

Listening to what a child observes is one of the most rewarding parts of parenting. When they report on a purple house, the first star at night, or the sound of a bird as it taps on a wire, stop everything to take it in.

I still haven’t solved the sock problem. They get stuffed behind the pillow, under the couch, in my purse, and on the porch. Most mystifying, or maddening, is when they end up back with the clean socks.

There will be things that drive you crazy. Like the socks. Or the last half hour before bedtime.
Coping with parenting is like looking at an optical illusion where you can see the old lady with the big chin or the young lady with a hat.
Pick the perspective that fills you with joy.

Be gentle. Be calm. Be kind. And that includes to yourself.

Riding bikes to the ice cream shop always improves the mood.

There are many different types of closeness. But one definition, proximity, helps to create a lot of the other types.
Being proximate and close means you’ll sometimes feel the sting of growing pains. Understanding that’s what it is will help to salve the sting.

Other people’s emotions can be hard to handle.
That circular relationship of handling my emotions about their emotions is instrumental to growing up… for me and for them.

Learning is almost always messy.

This is clearly a personal call but maybe clean less than you think you should and play more than you think you should.

The amount of time you spend playing with your kids when they are young and you are old and busy has a relationship to how much time they spend with you when you are old and they are grown and busy.

When kids are parked in their big spaces, proud and confident, they act better.
Being someone who helps move the mindset from small and whiny to big and empowered is tricky…and powerful!

Dreams are precious. Just listen.

(featured photo is my kids and me after biking in the rain. Thanks to Dave Williams for his edits to take the names off the helmets).

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

Always Learning

February 7, 2025February 6, 2025Posted in podcastTagged blogging, creativity, inspiration, podcast, writing35 Comments

“A true artist is not one who is inspired, but one who inspires others.” – Salvador Dali

One of the best benefits of having a podcast is scheduling time to talk about creativity and writing. It’s a wonderful practice of having intentional conversations that inspire.

The latest episode, Episode 102 Writer’s Lessons, is a great example of this. Vicki Atkinson and I talk with author and blogger, Melanie McGauran about writer lessons. Melanie always inspires us with her curiosity and willingness to learn. She is so generous to be willing to share her lessons with us.

She tells us the story behind her essay Growing Up Fast in 1978. We love the essay for its revealing look at her family dynamics and the complicated path she had to walk to get to go to college.

And then she shares some of the lessons she learned from a class she took with author Marin Sardy. She tells us about the chronological canyon and other pitfalls we can fall into.

Melanie shares some of the back and forth she had with Marin as she absorbed the feedback Marin gave her. We laugh that sometimes it’s hard to listen even if the source is an acclaimed author.

And then she extends the lessons with some wise and practical tidbits she picked up from a writing book by Steven Pressfield.

Melanie reveals his advice that hones in on the reader experience. And she shares some questions he provides to make sure content is relatable:

Is it fun?
Is it challenging?
Is it inventive?
Am I giving the reader enough?
Are they bored?
Are they taking me where I want to lead them?

We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the writer lessons learned that help us improve and extend our storytelling!

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 102: Writer’s Lessons with Melanie McGauran

Episode 102 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Growing Up Fast in 1978 by Melanie McGauran

Melanie’s blog: https://leavingthedooropen.com/

Steven Pressfield – writing that inspired Melanie: https://stevenpressfield.com/books/

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith;

(featured photo from Pexels)

Turning Distress into Action: Lessons from Failure

February 5, 2025February 4, 2025Posted in faithTagged courage, engagement, failure, inspiration, motivation, resilience52 Comments

“Failure is only an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

My mom said our prayer before dinner on Monday night. One snippet resonated deeply with how I’ve been feeling when I listen to the news these days.

I don’t have her words exactly right but it was something like, “Dear Lord, helps us with the distressing current events.” Then she added something like, “Lord, we trust you are at work in the world. Please help us to see how.”

I’ve come to realize that political failure is a lot like personal and professional failure. There’s a period to grouse about it, at least for a bit. But mostly it’s an invitation to work hard to learn from it and use it as motivation for change.

I realize that when I feel in agreement with my local and national leaders, I’m not very involved in politics. But when I feel like the actions of our leaders are reckless, cruel, divisive, greedy, and/or misaligned with our values, I’m fired up to do something. Whether it’s being of service, contributing where’s there’s need, or reaching out to representatives, I’m far more willing to jump in.

I’m not a fan of failure – but I have to admit it’s a great motivator. I’d love for there to be an easy answer to my mom’s prayer but I suspect that getting involved is one component.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

The Freshness of the Day

February 3, 2025February 3, 2025Posted in inspirationTagged awakening, dawn, freshness, inspiration, joy, morning, possibility74 Comments

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius

We spent this last weekend at a cabin in the woods by a bay. It was a really cool log cabin owned by some friends for decades so it was filled with relics and treasures. A long pine dining table with log benches. Cocktail swords made out of metal. Wooden storage boxes filled with candles and flashlights. Railings made of rough hewn logs. An enormous stone fireplace.

But it was true cabin. A great main room with two loft spaces for sleeping. In one loft, my brother and sister-in-law had a bed. In the other loft, there were two beds where my kids and I slept. Cooper the dog didn’t like the steep wood stairs so he slept downstairs in the great room.

Point being, it was five people and one dog in one room. A pretty large and very cool room, but none of the usual walls we are accustomed to in our homes. So I was able to witness awakening in a different way.

Cooper woke up first and I could hear the click-click of his nails on the wood floor. Once I got him fed and settled, I sat in a chair by the window. And then over the next hour, one-by-one each person stretched from sleep and came awake.

The snoring stopped, the breathing got lighter, the bodies shifted a bit side-to-side before presumably (I didn’t witness this particular moment), the eyes came open. There was an incredible freshness to the start of the day.

Outside the light started to displace the dark. The birds started chirping and whirring about. The smooth water reflected the rising light. A fog settled heavily over the land across from the cabin and frost covered trees poked out from the top.

What a joy and honor it is to awaken and experience the newness of a day.

Early morning view of a bay with a hills rising on the other side enshrouded in fog

(photos are mine – featured photo is of the cabin and the second photo is of my view as the sun came up)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

Transforming Criticism into Creative Fuel

January 29, 2025January 28, 2025Posted in writingTagged arthur brooks, blogging, creativity, inspiration, openness, writing75 Comments

“Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler

This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.

I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.

I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.

I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.

But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.

Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.

Or from John O’Donohue:

“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue

These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.

Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.

Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

For the Love of Pete

January 17, 2025January 16, 2025Posted in podcastTagged empowerment, inspiration, mentor, podcast, service, storytelling, storytelling podcast, teachers66 Comments

“What we love, others will love and we will show them how.” – Wordsworth

No, I don’t mean that title as a mild oath. I mean it literally. We love talking with Pete Springer. He is such a connector in this WordPress community. And for every conversation we have with Pete, I walk away feeling uplifted, entertained, and inspired.

This holds for the latest podcast that Vicki Atkinson and I did with Pete: Episode 99: The Gift That Keeps Giving with Pete Springer. In this episode, the inspiration comes in remembrance of his great mentor and friend, Nancy Wheeler.

Nancy showed how to give the gift of herself, to quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. In her years as a teacher, principal, mentor and community member, she lived a life full of service and joy.

Pete tells us the stories that are so uplifting and exemplary. Of how Nancy empowered others, created relationships, took people under her wing, and knew how to bring out talent.

In each example, we get a glimpse of how to live with a big and open heart. Pete paints the picture of how one person can do so much!

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling about how to give the gift of ourselves.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 99: The Gift that Keeps on Giving with Pete Springer

Episode 99 Transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Pete Springer – Passionate Teacher and Future Children’s Author

My Heroine – Pete Springer

They Call Me Mom – Pete’s beautiful book

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith;

(featured photo from Pexels)

Making Memories

January 3, 2025January 2, 2025Posted in inspirationTagged family, inspiration, love, meaning, memories, relationships95 Comments

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss

I put my hand in my coat pocket this morning and came out with a shell, two rocks, and a coin. The collection made me smile because they came from spending our New Years holiday week at the beach.

Staying at the beach in the winter felt like leaving everything else behind. The only thing we had to be mindful of was the tide chart. With the new moon on December 30^th, the tides were pretty extreme. The water was really high during the day. So much so that the beach was under water except for about an hour window mid-morning. At night, there was a huge low tide.

So we threw rocks, balanced on logs, and looked for treasure when we could during the daylight hours. Then we went for night walks on the beach. The kids and I put on our hats with head lamps built in and walked out with Cooper on the smooth, flat sand.

On a couple of those nights, the sky was clear and the plethora of stars we could see were awe-some. Five-year-old Mr. D came inside and drew out Orion’s belt and the Big Dipper so that he could remember them.

The memory that seared into my heart was one night when we reached the beach and the kids fell into a line ahead of me. Nine-year-old Miss O in the front with her light shining out wide, Cooper in the middle visible only because of his white coat, and Mr. D not far behind with his light trained on the ground at his feet. They made a beautiful line parallel to the water as the waves lapped softly in accompaniment.

I’m going to leave the shell from my pocket on my calendar. It’s a reminder that while making appointments is part of life, the real goal is to make memories.

Six Reasons Giving is Good for You

December 18, 2024December 17, 2024Posted in inspirationTagged benefit, charity, giving, inspiration, motivation65 Comments

“It is not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

This post was originally published on a different site on 12/20/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.

My eight-year-old daughter and I were hurrying into a store to grab a couple of holiday things the other day. When she asked about the Salvation Army bell ringer out front, I gave her a couple of dollars to put in the pot. She was hesitant so we did it together. As she wiggled the bills into the slot, the bell ringer paused for a moment and asked, “Do you know what this money goes for?”

My daughter shook her head “no.”

The bell ringer leaned in to look her right in the eye, and said, “If people don’t have money for rent or to buy food or money for presents, it’ll help.”

My daughter replied, “So people can buy toys for their kids!” and walked away smiling.

The Greater Good lab at Berkeley offers some research back evidence that there are five ways giving is transformative.

Giving makes us feel happy
Giving is good for our health
Giving promotes cooperation and social connection
Giving evokes gratitude
Giving is contagious

And there’s a bonus reason as well. Research shows that people that donate money earn MORE the next year. It’s not that there is a cosmic hand that makes it so (not to say there isn’t a cosmic hand but the research doesn’t prove it one way or another, of course!). But the explanation was that it makes us feel so good that we are more happy and effective at our jobs. How’s that for lining up giving and our self-interest?

So, if you are looking for a way to earn more at your job next year, let me suggest the Fulginiti Family Trio’s holiday song fundraiser led by Todd Fulginiti. You get to both listen to a great song and help a good cause addressing homelessness in Lancaster, PA.

I hope that all the giving of the season is leaving you feeling healthy, happy, grateful, and connected!

(featured photo from Pexels)

A Fond Farewell

December 9, 2024December 8, 2024Posted in loveTagged blogging, faith, friendship, inspiration, Julia Preston, light, love, relationships60 Comments

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain

I’ve become entranced with a word lately: inkling.

Inkling according to Merriam-Webster is a slight knowledge or vague notion. It comes from Middle English yngkiling meaning “whisper or mention.”

When I think of the inklings I’ve gotten, they relate to the niggling feeling that something is off. I’ve had inklings about big events like when my business partner told me of my ex-husband’s infidelities and right before I was laid off. Kinda like a surprise party when everyone stops talking to you in advance.

And I get inklings about little things like when one of my kids is about to catch a cold. Something isn’t quite right about how they react or eat food and it sets off the radar.

For me, inklings are closely related to the internal God whispers, those insistent notions that seem Divinely inspired. On a recent morning when I meditated, I had the urgent sense that I needed to reach out to our dear blogging friend, Julia Preston.

Later that day, I discovered that she’d passed away the night before at the age of 85. She hadn’t blogged much after her cancer diagnosis but she’s been present in emails and comments in the last few months.

After I published one of my favorite posts about the words I become entranced with, My Love Affair with Words, Julia jokingly asked what word I associated with her. I had no hesitation before responding “luminescent.” Julia glowed with love and light for all. She faced her diagnosis with that same delightful curiosity about what comes next.

Her last blog post hinted about the light and love we all can (and should) tap into. Julia left us with the question in When We Gonna: “When are we gonna turn the world around with the power of our thoughts? When are we gonna create light instead of dark and love instead of fear?“

Julia was laid to rest yesterday. For anyone who has an inkling to do something in her honor, her favorite causes were St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital and the ASPCA.

RIP, dear Julia. Your light and love remains!

For more about Julia’s profound impact, please see Vicki Atkinson‘s beautiful reminiscence in Collective Gratitude: The Feast Before the Feast

And Julia’s most recent book is available on Amazon: Voices: Who’s In Charge of the Committee in My Head?

(featured photo from Pexels)