Tag: magic

A Knock From Heaven

Posted in faithTagged , , , , , , 77 Comments

“Our life experiences will have resonances within our innermost being, so that we will feel the rapture of being alive.” – Joseph Campbell

The knock from heaven came at 9:12am on Friday, November 7th, 2014. Having an exact time for it makes it seemingly clear when it was anything but. But it was odd enough at the time to be noticeable.

I was driving to meditation class on a crisp, fall morning in Seattle. Not in a hurry because I had plenty of time before the 9:30 start, even if I needed to circle the block a few times to find parking. Driving the route between my house and the studio where we practiced meditation was neither complicated nor congested as we congealed into a circular pattern around the neighborhood lake.

I was in a euphoric mood because I’d just signed off on everything I needed to start my cycle to try to have a baby via in-vitro fertilization (IVF) as a single parent.

It felt like everything was about to change and I was riding high on that excitement. But the anticipation came with an edge.

First, the fear about how my 45-year-old body would handle pregnancy. I’d never tried to get pregnant before so there was no history one way or another. All the tests and procedures boded well but I was well into the category of advanced maternal age.

Second, the vulnerability of doing this without a partner. I hadn’t wanted to have kids until after I got divorced. I told my ex-husband that I didn’t want to have kids. After the relationship ended I discovered that the whole truth was that I didn’t want to have kids with him.

While it seemed like the divorce was because of his infidelities, both of us sustained wounds. His announcement that it was time to have kids and my refusal to cooperate were telling markers of our relationship. He expected me to orbit around him and I was more like an asteroid on my own trajectory.

I felt healthier and happier on my own. So much so that taking the risk to start a family on my own felt manageable. Scary and exposed but within my window of tolerance.

The third element in my mix of emotions was the buoyed elation of my close friends. I had three dear women older than me that carried their own stories of desire without success when it came to having kids. All of them had made peace with how life had worked out but stood as a testament to the complexity of ambition, expectations, and relationships. They channeled pure enthusiasm for my pursuit of creating a family in a non-traditional way.

So when the knock from heaven came, it pulled me out of my effort to tease out the threads of all these emotions. That guy on the bike next to me must have rapped on the back of my car. But there was no near collision or obvious reason why. Did I get too close to the bike lane and the biker tapped a warning? I didn’t think so. Maybe they’d had wobbled and reached out a hand to steady themselves? Or maybe I was going too slow?

Those were my explanations in the moment.

A few hours later, I was working on a project in the garage when I missed a call from my mom. When I dialed her back, she haltingly told me through tears that my beloved 79-year-old dad died in a bike riding accident. A bike accident. He’d gone for a ride in a quiet neighborhood in Tucson and just happened to turn a corner and hit the frame of a passing car. What in most cases would be a broken collarbone had instead been instantly fatal because of the angle of the collision.

After I hung up, I sat there in a daze. Then I thought of the knock. Had it happened at the same moment my dad died? No, he’d died at noon. Even accounting for the time change between Tucson, where he was, and Seattle, it wasn’t even close. The knock had come two hours before he died.

My understanding of the knock has traveled its own path through the stages of grief. Denial – it didn’t mean anything. Anger – I knew life was about to change but not like that! Sadness – there was never enough time with my enthusiastic and supportive dad. Bargaining – it must mean that my dad left this world knowing my IVF plan even though I wasn’t going to tell my parents until it worked.

And finally, acceptance. Sometimes heaven knocks when you really need to pay attention. A little tap to make sure you are tuned in. So that when the invitation comes to sign up for a job, or unseal the envelope that might contain bad news, or pick up a phone call from someone you haven’t heard from in ages, you are primed to lean in.

Now that I’ve accepted this, I hear knocks from heaven differently. Eleven years after that first one, they show up as the most ordinary things. Like the sound of footfalls on the stairs first thing in the morning from my six-year-old son. The beat of my heart catches something a little extra and I come awake to the miracle of the moment. It’s a stutter that accounts for the ups and downs and twists and turns that all came together to make this life possible.

Or the pulse in my wrist when I hold hands with my 86-year-old mom as we say grace before a meal. It feels like a tap to remember that even though she seems so healthy, the comfort of her physical hand in mine will not last forever.

Or the tap of my chin against my 10-year-old daughter’s head when she gives me a hug. The angle between our heights seems to change on a daily basis and our banter reflects the accelerating maturity. I squeeze a little tighter when I feel that knock so that she can feel in both her heart and her head that I’m near.

Sometimes heaven knocks to remind me that this life is more mystical than it seems. It doesn’t need to make perfectly logical sense in order to lean in to receive the courage and heart that comes with accepting that there is more here than meets the eye.  

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

The Magic of Writing

Posted in podcastTagged , , , , , , 29 Comments

“You practice and you get better. It’s very simple.” – Phillip Glass

One of the most inspiring facets of self-improvement that I see with my kids on a daily basis is how they practice. Whether it’s the number of times in a day that nine-year-old Miss O sits down at the piano to play a new song or the near constant swing of anything that can be used as a bat that five-year-old Mr. D does, I witness how practice helps build skill.

It reminds me that at age 55, I still can benefit from practicing whether it be baking, speaking or writing. The same thing struck me when Vicki and I had the fortune of talking with the phenomenal best-selling author, Andrew Mayne in Episode 112 of our podcast: Mr. Whisper with Andrew Mayne.

Join us as Andrew Mayne takes us on an incredible journey through his captivating career – from mesmerizing audiences as an illusionist on cruise ships, starring in A&E’s hit show “Don’t Trust Andrew Mayne,” designing a groundbreaking stealth suit for diving with Great White sharks on Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, being a Prompt Whisperer and Science Communicator for Open AI, and now a celebrated best-selling author.

In his latest thrilling novel, Mr. Whisper, Andrew masterfully unites his four iconic characters from his previous series. He shares the intriguing challenges he faced in writing from multiple perspectives and how the theory of mind played a crucial role in his storytelling. And he reveals how he uses virtual reality technology to go “on location” as he scouts locales for his books.

Discover the secrets behind Andrew’s path to success and how his magician’s skills have influenced his writing style, particularly the art of “showing, not telling” in crafting edge-of-your-seat thrillers.

Andrew reveals the powerful feedback loop he employed while writing his first books and how his dedication led him to write an astonishing ten books in one year as a practice. Andrew delves into the concept of survivorship bias and its impact on the success stories of those who have “made it.” We explore why this might not hold true for future generations as the world continues to evolve.

This podcast is packed with insights that we have pondered long after recording. Andrew’s critical thinking skills, honed through designing his “shock magic” illusions, offer valuable perspectives for various other pursuits.

As a bonus, Andrew shares a fantastic tip on teaching critical thinking to young kids, which we found equally applicable to adults.

In this captivating interview, Andrew shares one of our new favorite quotes: “When you are okay with being fooled, you unlock a new kind of wonder.” Embrace the mystery, not just in thrillers, but in life itself.

Get ready to be enthralled by the fascinating and thought-provoking discussions on magic and writing with the brilliant Andrew Mayne.

We know you’ll love it.

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 112: Mr. Whisper with Andrew Mayne

Episode 112 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this episode:

https://andrewmayne.com/

Mr. Whisper by Andrew Mayne on Amazon

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/218134959-mr-whisper

“Don’t Trust Andrew Mayne” on A&E: “…features the wildly innovative, mischief-loving magician Andrew Mayne as he sets out to reinvent revenge. His illusions are mind-blowing, but what he loves most is helping people get even.“

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(quote for this post from The Enlightened Mind)

(featured photo from Pexels)

Use Your Words

Posted in writingTagged , , , , , , , , 45 Comments

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As a mom of a 4-year-old and 8-year-old, I frequently find myself using the phrase, “Use your words.” The other day, my youngest wanted something on a high-up shelf and was pointing to it. I looked up and there were only like a gazillion possibilities. So I said, “use your words.”

At his age, his words are imprecise. Last night could mean the night prior but it could also mean anytime in the past. Orange might be anything on the spectrum between yellow and magenta. But even words that don’t guide directly are more helpful than guessing.

It made me think about all the ways we can use words, especially in writing. Here are three of my favorites:

Direction-instruction

Our ability to teach other people what we know or have discovered is astounding. If I had to draw it out or act it out, we’d all be here for a LOOOONG time.

“The capacity to learn is a gift; The ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.”

Brian Herbert

Whether I’m reading how to replace a board on my deck or the finer points of philosophy, I’m so grateful that others use their words to communicate what they have learned because it helps me immensely.

Process-connect

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”

Hafiz

I frequently don’t understand “life.” I wend my way through the day and it seems like there are some unifying threads running through it if I could just see it from enough distance. But then I slow down to write it down and something magically pops. Here’s an example.

The other day a co-worker unloaded in an out-of-character way. I was so surprised and impacted by this that I wrote it down as a story, simply for my own use – almost a transcription of “they said” and “I said.” By the time I’d gotten the words out, I felt as if I’d created a storage space for the event; a way to buffer the rest of my day so that the after-effects of my conversation didn’t layer on to all the rest of my interactions.

Then two days later I got an email from the co-worker apologizing. They let me know about some personal stuff going on that colored their conversation with me. We can process it now (and maybe save ourselves from having to apologize) or we can process later, but putting words to the experience helps sort it all out.

One of the most impactful ways I think we use words is this full-circle processing and connection. We write to understand and then, for the stuff we publish, it connects us to others and their experience.

Amuse-entertain

At bedtime the other night, I was warning my 8-year-old daughter not to hit her brother. She retorted to me, “What? Do you want to me to grow up all Martin Luther King like non-violent?” I was so surprised by the out of the blue reference that I not only stopped talking, but also burst out laughing. And then we were all giggling and whatever had caused the kerfuffle was forgotten.

Words have magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.

Sigmund Freud

Yes, I do want my kids to grow up all non-violent. They probably have a better chance of that if they remember to use their words, hopefully in ways that invoke the best use of that magical power.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Do You Believe in Magic? Do You Write About it?

Posted in storyTagged , , , , , , , 42 Comments

“If we could see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything.” – Nancy Wait

I had to have the conversation with my eight-year-old daughter the other day. You know the one I mean? About Santa?

We were driving in the car and I broached the subject as “Do you want to talk about what your friend said the other day about Santa?”

Two days before I’d overheard her friend tell her that Santa wasn’t real. Then the friend took on the tooth fairy too when my daughter had asked, “Do you know your tooth fairy’s name?”

Her friend, a master of short, declarative sentences, replied with a snort, “Yeah, Mom and Dad.”

All of this led to my tentative query in the car. Quite honestly, I was feeling pretty shaky about it. It felt like blurting out something that we can never “unknow” even if we wish to. So, I’d come up with a spin that I got from a dubious parenting manual (and by that, I mean the Internet). I was going to talk about how we can all be part of the magic of the holiday season.

I find it difficult bordering on tortuous to write about and talk about magic. I think of some of my favorite South American authors like Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Juan Luis Borges, and their easy touch with things that can’t be explained.

Then I wonder if some American pragmatism blocks my flow when it comes to breaking away from the observable. Or perhaps it’s my engineering brain. But either way when I start trying to put words to experiences that can’t be rationally explained, I get very wordy. It’s like I need to insist that I really am anchored to reality and a lot of words are my lifeline.

So, when my daughter said she did want to talk about Santa, I started to roll out a lengthy explanation.

“Well, you know that everyone has different beliefs and whether or not you believe in Santa, there’s a magic around Christmas time that comes from the spirit of generosity.”

She nodded and said, “Yes, no one really knows what Santa looks like, so we all see it differently.”

I pressed on, not realizing that she was still pretty attached to the Santa thing.

Before I could launch into more, she interjected, “Why don’t people want to believe in magic?”

Hmm, in my preparation for the talk, I hadn’t prepared a good answer to that one, so I asked about if she’d heard what her friend said about the tooth fairy.

“Yes,” she said, “he said his Mom and Dad were the tooth fairy.” As I started to respond, my daughter continued, explaining something the tooth fairy had just done…”but my mom wouldn’t give [my brother] a two-dollar bill for nothing.”

I stopped. I was magically saved from having a conversation that I wasn’t ready for anyway.

2024 Note: Miss O is now 9-years-old but still believes…

(featured photo from Pexels)

Creating Eyes that See

Posted in inspirationTagged , , , , 30 Comments

“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl

This was originally published on 6/29/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

The other day, my 6-year-old daughter and her best friend asked me what an optical illusion is. I didn’t have the Merriam-Webster definition, “something that deceives the eye by appearing to be other than it is” at the tip of my tongue so we talked about examples of when you think you see something but your brain knows it can’t be real or vice versa. I showed them the classic example of the picture that is either the young lady with a necklace or an old lady with a prominent chin.

They were fascinated. But of course this is more than a trick for amusement, it’s one of the pillars of our life. As Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.”

It reminds me of a person I knew who believed she had to check on everything that someone did for her otherwise she would be cheated. In one memorable instance, she had left her dog with someone who was staying at her house and became convinced the dog sitter wasn’t walking the dog as far as she claimed. So she devised a series of questions to trip up the dog sitter when she picked her up from the airport. What time does the sun rise this time of year? What is the favorite route that you walk with my dog? How many times does my dog poop on her morning walk?

She was convinced that these questions would help her find the TRUTH which was predetermined in her head as a story that the dog sitter didn’t get up as early and walk as far as she thought.

In the meantime, she completely missed that the dog was safe, happy and healthy and that the dog sitter was willing to drive her to/from the airport, that the dog sitter loved to watch movies and also worked from home so that the dog had almost constant companionship while she was gone.

Because none of that mattered if the dog sitter LIED about the morning walk. No gentle reminders from me or anyone else could change the perspective.

This person might be an anomaly in that she didn’t believe anyone, more or less, in her life. She believed that the only reliable person was herself and everything that she got, had, earned was only because of her personal efforts. There was no idea of grace, coincidence, faith, or even luck.

The rest of us are probably not as extreme but I think what Albert Einstein implies is that it’s a way of seeing. We can’t consistently believe that life is completely up to us in one area of our life (work, relationships, money) without it affecting all the others.

We have to believe in miracles to see them. Whatever we have faith in – be it God, the Universe, optimism, magic – will deliver goodness if we develop our ability to discern it. When we open ourselves up to the possibility that miracles happen in our life, it’s amazing to find how many we see.

As an example, my daughter was sad because her best friend, the one that was with her when asking about optical illusions, is moving at the end of the summer. Then as we worked through that reality, she discovered that a family with three kids that she already knows and likes from school happened to move in one block from us. They’d been up the street for 7 months and we hadn’t even realized until one day we saw them on the street. What a gift! The miracle didn’t save us from having to say good-bye to one friend, but instead it was the gift of new friends.

How do you interpret Albert Einstein’s quote? What miracles have you seen lately?

I’ve published a related post on Wise & Shine – Creatively Seeing

(featured photo from Pexels)

All The Secrets

Posted in loveTagged , , , , 41 Comments

“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” – Mary Tyler Moore

The other day my kids and I were out walking in the neighborhood and ran into two brothers, 11-years-old and 9-years-old, from the English family that has moved in up the street. The older brother did a card trick for Miss O. I wasn’t paying attention to all of it, but there was audience involvement, and even some spelling and counting going on.

When the older brother finished and revealed the chosen card – the right one – the younger brother exclaimed quite proudly in his delightful British accent, “It works nearly every time.”

Which made me laugh. The way he said it so charmingly uncovered that a lot of practice has gone into this particular trick.

And it reminded me that often family members know our secrets and weak points. Hopefully, especially when they are working well, within the context of great love and acceptance.

Speaking of family, I spoke with Vicki on this week’s Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast about how I started my family as a single person. We talk about invitro fertilization, the fears I needed to overcome, the lessons I apply from my dad, and the seven quotes that have helped me change my script from fear to love. Please listen and subscribe on Amazon Music, Apple, Spotify or Pocketcasts to Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast or find it here on WordPress: Episode 40: The Power of Choice with Wynne Leon

(quote comes from the MSW Blog: Being Brave)

Do You Believe In Magic?

Posted in inspirationTagged , , , 70 Comments

“We are like someone in a very dark night over whom lightning flashes again and again.” – Maimonides

I just finished watching the first three seasons of Arrested Development. The impending change where the show would no longer be available on Netflix finally got me to watch this hilarious and highly -recommended (well, the first three seasons were touted as worth watching) show.

In the show, the eldest brother, Gob, is a magician. A ham-handed, totally inept so his tricks never work, kind of magician. But somehow his character in this show works with all the other characters to make magic of the worth-watching variety.

Do you believe in magic? I mean really believe in magic so that when it comes to getting your deepest desires, something will step in and help along the way?

I don’t. I believe in a lot of things that create magic – being present, finding joy, and counting my blessings to name a few habits that keep me more or less delighted with my life.

And I believe in listening to my inner voice – my God voice or intuition, and then following it. I believe in a Higher Power that I am so grateful to for that inner voice that points me in ways that are bigger and better than I could imagine on my own.

But I think all the work to make life happen is up to me. I don’t think magic will save me, or give me huge leaps to skip over all the steps.

However, I have the feeling that I’m wrong. I have the feeling that magic is happening all around but just on a different pace so that it seems undetectable. Before you think I’ve gone over the bend from watching too many Disney movies (which might also be true), just bear with me.

The other day I was frustrated with a friend – I’d reach a limit of too many bids for connection that had gone unanswered. I’d been totally fine with that for a while because my friend has a lot going on right now but it had reached a tipping point where my heart was starting to feel sore. I was just thinking that I needed to quietly close this door between us when my friend, completely unbidden by me or aware of what I was thinking, sent me a gift.

On Monday, I was working alone at home on a day with no meetings when I suddenly felt disconnected from life around me. I walked to the grocery store, Pictures of You from the Cure was playing on the overhead speakers. As I was dancing down the aisles connecting to memories of my college days, I ran into an old friend.

Or this morning my skin was feeling itchy like it couldn’t stand one more day of winter clothes, and I opened the window to see the blossoms on the tree out front had shown up like magic overnight. (see featured photo)

And my final example is right in this moment when I realized this post, that I thought was completely unconnected to my Wise & Shine post this morning Fear and Courage, is actually completely related in the way that when we acknowledge we are scared, lonely, or fed up, help arrives.

If our lives were a tv show like Arrested Development, the magic would probably be easy to see. But since life doesn’t work that way, it’s up to us to see the magic.

The Magic Kingdom

Posted in inspirationTagged , , , , 54 Comments

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” – W. B. Yeats

I watch a lot of Disney movies these days and I’ve noticed there is always a pause before the magic kicks in and works. Like in Beauty and the Beast, Belle comes back to the castle and the Beast is fighting off Gaston and is gravely injured. Belle goes to him on the terrace and says, “I love you” just as the last petal falls from the flower that held the magic of the curse that turned him into a beast.

Everyone thinks its too late and Belle is crying over his crumpled form…until the magic lifts him up and transforms him into back into a prince.

As I notice the pattern, it makes me think about magic in our lives – and that the pause is of indeterminate length and certainly of a length that we can’t predict. For example, establishing a gratitude practice. My kids and I made gratitude boxes, little boxes to slip the things we are grateful for on a daily basis. But starting that practice and feeling the magical onset of a good mood of the soul isn’t instantaneous.

And the same goes with blogging. It’s not like we write our first blog, and then instantly we’ve perfected our style, know what we want to write about and are surrounded by supportive blogging buddies. It takes time to find our sweet spot and build our WordPress community.

Ditto for passion and love. And everything else where we step forward and then life meets us.

So I know what you’re thinking – none of these examples involves any the special juju as depicted in a Disney movie. There are simply hard work and time.

But I think there is magic involved. It’s magical that we find our way to the things that work for us. And beautiful that we get enough to keep us at it. That we open just long enough for someone else to be open and see us. The magic is in that it can happen in the time between when I open and you close.

It’s magical that when we risk, we open ourselves up to opportunity. When we make ourselves vulnerable enough to be seen, that someone else comes along to hold us is rare and then we tell the stories to inspire others to do the same and we get those tingles all over again.

In The Princess and the Frog, the prince gets turned into a frog by a voodoo man. Then he kisses Tiana because he thinks she is a princess, but she isn’t and they both end up as frogs. [SPOILER ALERT – I’m going to tell the ending here.] After a Disney movie length adventure of making friends and finding out what is truly meaningful, they fall in love, give up their human dreams and get married. Once they do, Tiana becomes a princess because she married a prince, albeit in frog form. The prince kisses her and they both turn back to human.

They stop struggling to be what they thought they wanted and just love each other as they are – only to get it back again. The magic of life.

The secret is in the waiting through the moments where all seems lost, holding the faith for as long as it takes for the magic to work which will likely be longer than the pause in a Disney movie. The magic is in believing it will still happen even as we wait. And then, when it does happen, seeing it as one whole story and telling it to others so they too will last through the wait.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Touch of the Divine

Posted in meditationTagged , , , , 14 Comments

“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl

My kids and I went to my friend’s new condo for a dinner party last night. I got the kids settled with the paper that I brought for them and then realized I’d dropped the markers in the car. My friend’s place is a 4th floor walk up so I left the kids with her, went down to the car and realized when I got there that the kids had left the inner dome light in the back of the car switched on. I thought “Thank God I had to come down for the markers. Otherwise, I could have returned to the car on a dark night in a hurry to get the kids to bed and found a dead battery.” That touch of the Divine made the four flights of steps going back up lighter.

Then my 6-year-old daughter needed a brown and yellow marker because the set I brought didn’t have those. I asked our host who said that all of her art supplies were still in boxes but we could open the box nearest to us that said “Art supplies” on it and check. We cut open the box. Right there on top in a neatly bundled and organized cup was her beautiful set of markers. “Wow, thank you Universe!” she exclaimed. I got a shiver.

I cyclically float between being at times easily able to see what God is doing in my life and in the other times, thinking I’m in charge. It’s a flow that I go back and forth on during any given day, week or month. Often seeing the Divine hand hinges on what I’m talking about and with whom I’m talking.

Jesus said, “For where two or three gather in my name, I am there with them.” (Matthew 18:20) Which I broadly observe in my life as those around us can help us uncover the magic in our existence. I’ve been doing some work with the church that my dad used to lead. The staff there often says about fortuitous events, “It was a God thing.”

I was going to write something else for my blog post this morning but for that touch of the Divine last night. Not only is it beautiful to see the hand of God, even in little things like markers, but it is fun. On this dark morning when I’m fresh from sleep and quiet meditation, I’m inspired to pass the spark of mystery and magic along.