“If it’s the right chair, it doesn’t take too long to get comfortable in it.” – Robert de Niro
Not long ago I went to a luncheon at a friend’s house. The decor was perfect, the food was beautifully presented and delicious, the company was lovely.
And yet – I was uncomfortable. I was handed a glass of ice water with lemon when I arrived and there was no place to put it down. I kept my coat on because everything looked too perfect to be a coat repository. Everyone was standing around awkwardly before the meal began because it was too early to sit at the table and there wasn’t another alternative.
My takeaway was the being a good host is more than making things look “perfect.” It’s about making people comfortable. And this luncheon came back to me because this week on the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, Vicki Atkinson and I turned the hosting duties over our HoTM partner, Brian Hannon. And he’s a very good host!
Brian’s roots as a journalist are on full display in this episode. He is such a fantastic interviewer. He coaxes out the lessons Vicki and I have learned in 100 episodes.
And he challenges us to think big to answer who would be on our celebrity guest list.
In some very delightful and prescient chit chat, we get to cheer on the Eagles in advance of their Super Bowl LIX performance.
Most of all, we have a great time celebrating the milestone of 100 episodes and taking a moment to appreciate what goes into starting, envisioning and maintaining a collaborative effort like a podcast.
We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we tell stories about making a podcast!
We know you’ll love it!
Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 103: Turning the Tables with Brian Hannon
“A true artist is not one who is inspired, but one who inspires others.” – Salvador Dali
One of the best benefits of having a podcast is scheduling time to talk about creativity and writing. It’s a wonderful practice of having intentional conversations that inspire.
The latest episode, Episode 102 Writer’s Lessons, is a great example of this. Vicki Atkinson and I talk with author and blogger, Melanie McGauran about writer lessons. Melanie always inspires us with her curiosity and willingness to learn. She is so generous to be willing to share her lessons with us.
She tells us the story behind her essay Growing Up Fast in 1978. We love the essay for its revealing look at her family dynamics and the complicated path she had to walk to get to go to college.
And then she shares some of the lessons she learned from a class she took with author Marin Sardy. She tells us about the chronological canyon and other pitfalls we can fall into.
Melanie shares some of the back and forth she had with Marin as she absorbed the feedback Marin gave her. We laugh that sometimes it’s hard to listen even if the source is an acclaimed author.
Melanie reveals his advice that hones in on the reader experience. And she shares some questions he provides to make sure content is relatable:
Is it fun?
Is it challenging?
Is it inventive?
Am I giving the reader enough?
Are they bored?
Are they taking me where I want to lead them?
We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the writer lessons learned that help us improve and extend our storytelling!
“Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler
This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.
I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.
I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.
I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.
But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.
Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.
“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue
These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.
Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.
Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.
“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.” – Rachel Marie Marten
This past weekend my kids and I went to the Reptile Expo. I know that might be the least appealing hook for a Monday but stick with me.
It was an experience gift that my niece gave us for Christmas. The same delightful niece from whom we got the crested gecko. And guess what? My kids loved the idea. She and her husband made this great bingo card for the cards to help guide the experience.
My niece had given us an extra ticket so I extended the invitation to my friend, Eric. He asked if my niece was mad at me and then humorously declined. But he came over for dinner after we got back and had lots of questions.
And that’s where this got interesting to me. My kids loved the expo and so my off-the-cuff response was that we had a good time. But Eric is a great storyteller and pressed for the details. When he asked all about the show, it elicited stories and information I hadn’t really thought to mine.
Like he asked who went to reptile expos and it made me think of our reaction when we arrived. The show was about an hour south of Seattle and when we neared the fairgrounds, there was a huge line of people at the gate. We thought there must have been something else going on. Turns out the lines were for the reptile expo.” Two hundred people?” Eric prompted. More like two thousand.
And the type of people that attended were mostly families. In the bathroom, we saw a woman helping her grandsons wash their hands. And then she said, “Cmon, let’s go find grandpa and great-grandma.”
The first exhibit near the doors was snakes and the kids wanted to hold one. I stood back to watch until the gentleman that got one out for us explained that the protocol with kids is that he hands the snake to the adult and they supervise the kids holding them. Ugh.
Eric wanted to know whether the exhibitors were just people showing off their pets or if it was a money making opportunity. Most of the animals there were for sale. In one display, there was snake after snake after snake in what looked like cake displays. You know the topper you put on a cake plate? Let’s hope that these had latches to secure them. I didn’t get close enough to check.
There was also a guy who was charging $5 for anyone who wanted to take a picture with his snake around their neck. We passed but I got a picture of him with the snake around his neck. Eric took a lot at that and laughed, “Not surprisingly, he’s got snake tattoos.”
And there were also a couple of rescue organizations that had snakes, turtles, and geckos to adopt. I asked how most of their animals come to be in their care. It’s mostly when animal control calls them in. They even have a fostering system just like with dogs and cats.
One of these booths is where my kids got to pet a tortoise named Tate and hold a bearded dragon named Quibble. The volunteer that was helping us said she didn’t really enjoy geckos so I asked if it was bearded dragons she liked. “No,” she replied, “I like snakes.” When I asked, she listed the kind of snakes she had. I confess that I stopped actively listening after the fifth. Yikes.
People also sell the bugs that reptiles like to eat. Five-year-old Mr. D and I were looking into a container that had several geckos and Mr. D said, “Look, there’s a beetle.” And then a gecko noticed. It’s tongue was so fast that it was barely perceptible. It clearly enjoyed a crunchy snack.
Which led me to the story about seeing a display with 10 gerbils for sale. There was only one left and I was unclear about whether people were buying them to be pets or…? Eric’s response, “Can you imagine the level of stress for a gerbil at a snake show?”
On the way out, my kids nearly fell over when we came across some axolotls (see featured photo). These are the Mexican salamanders that are like the pickleball of elementary school kids. In the last few years, it seems like the increase in axolotl merch has been meteoric – stuffies, backpacks, keychains, and more. Eric confessed that until he saw our picture, he wasn’t sure that axolotls were real.
I’ll spare you the stories of the snake throwing up and the snake pooping. Suffice it to say, my kids had a great time at the reptile show. And I got some pretty good stories out of it – because Eric asked for the details.
It makes me wonder if an element of creativity…and life… is having people around us interested in asking. Last question from Eric was, “Did you check your car for snakes when you got home? No? That’s okay – you can just sell it.”
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” -Brene Brown
One of the things that Vicki Atkinson and I hear from podcast guests is that we are warm and welcoming. A lovely thing to hear. But I’d flip that around and say that what makes it work is that our guests are open and courageous.
We met author, public speaker, and parental advocate Vickie Rubin through our mutual blog friend, Ab. I love that because they both have such genuineness. We get to see in action how they show up for life. Whether at home or in their roles as advocates, they come alongside others to see them and share stories that make everything a little clearer and brighter.
So in the latest episode (and last episode of 2024) of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, Vickie gives us the elevator pitch for her book, Raising Jess. She jokes that it’s long enough to require an elevator in the tallest building in Manhattan. Fitting, because there is so much goodness in her book about raising her child with a chromosome deletion: mother’s intuition, decisions about whether to have more children, the grandparent’s point of view, and more.
Vickie’s openness and support of others are so inspiring. In her work supporting other families trying to navigate the systems to get resources for their children and in Facebook communities, Vickie is a powerful parental resource and advocate. By telling her story, she continues to help others navigate their own challenges.
Vicki and I ask about what’s next for Vickie. She’s recently published an article in Newsweek and she tells us about the writing classes she taking.
This is a great episode that not only focuses on the resilience, love, and thriving of one family but also inspires the same in everyone who listens. When we share our stories, we empower others and Vickie illustrates this so well.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in our books, our podcasts, and our lives.
We know you’ll love it!
On a programming note – this is the last podcast for 2024. Our next episode featuring the amazing Beth (i didn’t have my glasses on… blog) will drop on Jan 10th, 2025.
Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 97: Raising Jess with Vickie Rubin
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
The other day I was switching over my company’s domain from another provider to WordPress. My hand hovered over the “Submit” button as I went through my mental check list one more time.
No matter how many times I do these things, they give me pause. But I was emboldened by a recent podcast conversation Vicki and I had with long-time blogger, Mark Petruska about embracing tech and non-tech change. Isn’t it amazing how knowing you are in good company helps? It certainly is one of the great benefits I get from doing these podcasts.
Vicki Atkinson and I loved this conversation with Mark. It’s his 15th year blogging on WordPress. And he blogged on a different platform before that. Clearly, he’s a pro.
So he walks us through the many things that he’s done to keep things fresh over the years. Switching themes, changing site names, even combining two blogs and changing URLs.
His advice as a veteran? Know the purpose of your blog and keep it in mind as you redesign.
Mark tells us about December snow and, for us relatively new people to WordPress, it’s some cool history.
One of the takeaways that I love from this conversation is that Mark talks about site design as a creative act in and of itself. So if we are ever stuck in a writing rut, it’s one idea to get us out!
This is a really encouraging episode that on the surface is about the considerations behind designing a good site and all that goes in to a WordPress blog. But really it’s also about knowing your purpose and embracing change in any area. Mark’s long experience is both illuminating and emboldening.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – not only in our words but also in our site designs.
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier
My utilitarian corkscrew gave out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It raised one arm on a broken gear and announced that it had served with honor and now was done.
Which left me with the corkscrew I bought from the J. Peterman catalog more than 20 years ago. Do you remember that catalog? I used to keep it on my desk for when I needed a creative break – or just to dream a little. I loved the little micro stories so much that I felt guilty putting it in the recycling bin, even if I had a new version in hand.
For anyone that isn’t familiar, here’s a sample description from their website. The Howdaseat is a folding chair:
Howdaseat.
This wonderful contraption is only for people over 40, or under.
Made of basswood slats and tough, natural canvas duck, its only role in life is to support your back properly.
The way it holds you is like a hug, and like all hugs, it will make you feel good. If your back hasn’t felt good for the last 19 years, this thing will make you feel very, very good. And surprised it took so long.
Roll it up and carry it under your arm. Room to room. House to car to office. For reading, driving, concerts; and staring across the pond at that stand of maples there and marveling at how really well designed the human back is, after all. Made in USA.
I bought several things from that catalog back in the day. The funny thing was that the things, once in hand, never lived up to their marketing. The words, the stories, the mystique stayed with the stories and not with the object itself.
Which I remembered once again as I wrestled with the J. Peterman corkscrew this past weekend. It reminded me of the magic of stories. And that when it comes to marketing, finding things that are undersold and overdelivered is better. May we remember both things this holiday season.
“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
As a mom of a 4-year-old and 8-year-old, I frequently find myself using the phrase, “Use your words.” The other day, my youngest wanted something on a high-up shelf and was pointing to it. I looked up and there were only like a gazillion possibilities. So I said, “use your words.”
At his age, his words are imprecise. Last night could mean the night prior but it could also mean anytime in the past. Orange might be anything on the spectrum between yellow and magenta. But even words that don’t guide directly are more helpful than guessing.
It made me think about all the ways we can use words, especially in writing. Here are three of my favorites:
Direction-instruction
Our ability to teach other people what we know or have discovered is astounding. If I had to draw it out or act it out, we’d all be here for a LOOOONG time.
“The capacity to learn is a gift; The ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.”
Brian Herbert
Whether I’m reading how to replace a board on my deck or the finer points of philosophy, I’m so grateful that others use their words to communicate what they have learned because it helps me immensely.
Process-connect
“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
Hafiz
I frequently don’t understand “life.” I wend my way through the day and it seems like there are some unifying threads running through it if I could just see it from enough distance. But then I slow down to write it down and something magically pops. Here’s an example.
The other day a co-worker unloaded in an out-of-character way. I was so surprised and impacted by this that I wrote it down as a story, simply for my own use – almost a transcription of “they said” and “I said.” By the time I’d gotten the words out, I felt as if I’d created a storage space for the event; a way to buffer the rest of my day so that the after-effects of my conversation didn’t layer on to all the rest of my interactions.
Then two days later I got an email from the co-worker apologizing. They let me know about some personal stuff going on that colored their conversation with me. We can process it now (and maybe save ourselves from having to apologize) or we can process later, but putting words to the experience helps sort it all out.
One of the most impactful ways I think we use words is this full-circle processing and connection. We write to understand and then, for the stuff we publish, it connects us to others and their experience.
Amuse-entertain
At bedtime the other night, I was warning my 8-year-old daughter not to hit her brother. She retorted to me, “What? Do you want to me to grow up all Martin Luther King like non-violent?” I was so surprised by the out of the blue reference that I not only stopped talking, but also burst out laughing. And then we were all giggling and whatever had caused the kerfuffle was forgotten.
Words have magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.
Sigmund Freud
Yes, I do want my kids to grow up all non-violent. They probably have a better chance of that if they remember to use their words, hopefully in ways that invoke the best use of that magical power.
“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinhem
I had a friend who once told me that when his wife woke up from dreams in which he was behaving badly, he’d pay for it all day. He didn’t actually have to be dismissive or philandering – because on those days, she’d treat him as if he already done it.
I can attest to the lingering effect of dreams. Even if I don’t remember exactly what happened, I can awaken powerfully emboldened or ambiguously scared. So I love this podcast episode in which Vicki Atkinson and I are talking with author, blogger, and former newspaper writer, Melanie McGauran about decoding our dreams. We love our conversations with Melanie – she is so engaging and insightful.
This is such a fascinating episode. The interior of our minds is an interesting, and sometimes scary, place. But it is so fun how Melanie brings her love of mysteries to this practice of sifting through the clues.
Melanie talks about her fascination with dreams and how she both remembers hers and extends them. It’s a wonderful practice to not only appreciate the dreamscape but also focus the mind in the middle of the night.
Melanie combines that memory mixology with her unstoppable creativity, joy and problem-solving to decode dreams.
This episode is such a fun take on dreaming, writing and creativity. We love Melanie’s passion and interest and get to see that in action as she helps us make stories from our dreams.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in conversation, and in dreams.
“Shallow waters don’t lead to new continents.” – Constance Friday
In the Pacific Northwest where I live, we are blessed with beautiful lakes filled with fresh, clear water. Seeing the bottom gives me such a great sense of depth and stillness. When I spend any time near a PNW lake, I come away with a better feel for my life in reflection.
There are some people that are just like these lakes. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but when I’ve met these remarkable individuals, I come away feeling that same sense of refreshing depth and reflection.
It’s how I felt after Vicki Atkinson and I recorded a podcast with Cindy Georgakas, Episode 93: Celebrating Poetry with Cindy Georgakas. In this vibrant conversation we get such a wonderful taste of Cindy’s energized and connected presence. She tells us how Covid was the impetus of starting to share wellness information in a different format.
That led to her book released last year in the Happiness Category, Re-Create & Celebrate: 7 Steps to Live the Life of Your Dreams. In the process of releasing that book, she planned a second release of a book of poetry she wasn’t able to include in Re-Create & Celebrate. Her poetry book, Celebrating Poetry is due out this month!
Hearing Cindy tell these stories underscores the rich lessons of learning to adjust when what we’ve planned turns out to be different in timing and format.
Speaking of planning, Vicki and I ask Cindy about what else she has planned on her creative radar.
This is a great episode because all of Cindy’s answers are so full of heart. She is an inspiring author to listen to – because she’s so interested in creating a-ha moments for others. Cindy is a well-spring of wisdom that speaks to the essence of who we are.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in poetry, and in conversation.
Surprised By Joy 