Tag: creativity

Transforming Criticism into Creative Fuel

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“Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler

This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.

I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.

I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.

I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.

But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.

Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.

Or from John O’Donohue:

“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue

These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.

Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.

Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Snakes and Stories

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“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.” – Rachel Marie Marten

This past weekend my kids and I went to the Reptile Expo. I know that might be the least appealing hook for a Monday but stick with me.

It was an experience gift that my niece gave us for Christmas. The same delightful niece from whom we got the crested gecko. And guess what? My kids loved the idea. She and her husband made this great bingo card for the cards to help guide the experience.

My niece had given us an extra ticket so I extended the invitation to my friend, Eric. He asked if my niece was mad at me and then humorously declined. But he came over for dinner after we got back and had lots of questions.

And that’s where this got interesting to me. My kids loved the expo and so my off-the-cuff response was that we had a good time. But Eric is a great storyteller and pressed for the details. When he asked all about the show, it elicited stories and information I hadn’t really thought to mine.

Like he asked who went to reptile expos and it made me think of our reaction when we arrived. The show was about an hour south of Seattle and when we neared the fairgrounds, there was a huge line of people at the gate. We thought there must have been something else going on. Turns out the lines were for the reptile expo.” Two hundred people?” Eric prompted. More like two thousand.

And the type of people that attended were mostly families. In the bathroom, we saw a woman helping her grandsons wash their hands. And then she said, “Cmon, let’s go find grandpa and great-grandma.”

The first exhibit near the doors was snakes and the kids wanted to hold one. I stood back to watch until the gentleman that got one out for us explained that the protocol with kids is that he hands the snake to the adult and they supervise the kids holding them. Ugh.

Eric wanted to know whether the exhibitors were just people showing off their pets or if it was a money making opportunity. Most of the animals there were for sale. In one display, there was snake after snake after snake in what looked like cake displays. You know the topper you put on a cake plate? Let’s hope that these had latches to secure them. I didn’t get close enough to check.

There was also a guy who was charging $5 for anyone who wanted to take a picture with his snake around their neck. We passed but I got a picture of him with the snake around his neck. Eric took a lot at that and laughed, “Not surprisingly, he’s got snake tattoos.”

Man with snake wrapped around his neck

And there were also a couple of rescue organizations that had snakes, turtles, and geckos to adopt. I asked how most of their animals come to be in their care. It’s mostly when animal control calls them in. They even have a fostering system just like with dogs and cats.

One of these booths is where my kids got to pet a tortoise named Tate and hold a bearded dragon named Quibble. The volunteer that was helping us said she didn’t really enjoy geckos so I asked if it was bearded dragons she liked. “No,” she replied, “I like snakes.” When I asked, she listed the kind of snakes she had. I confess that I stopped actively listening after the fifth. Yikes.

People also sell the bugs that reptiles like to eat. Five-year-old Mr. D and I were looking into a container that had several geckos and Mr. D said, “Look, there’s a beetle.” And then a gecko noticed. It’s tongue was so fast that it was barely perceptible. It clearly enjoyed a crunchy snack.

Gecko in an enclosure looking like he's smiling after eating a snack.

Which led me to the story about seeing a display with 10 gerbils for sale. There was only one left and I was unclear about whether people were buying them to be pets or…? Eric’s response, “Can you imagine the level of stress for a gerbil at a snake show?”

On the way out, my kids nearly fell over when we came across some axolotls (see featured photo).  These are the Mexican salamanders that are like the pickleball of elementary school kids. In the last few years, it seems like the increase in axolotl merch has been meteoric – stuffies, backpacks, keychains, and more. Eric confessed that until he saw our picture, he wasn’t sure that axolotls were real.

I’ll spare you the stories of the snake throwing up and the snake pooping. Suffice it to say, my kids had a great time at the reptile show. And I got some pretty good stories out of it – because Eric asked for the details.

It makes me wonder if an element of creativity…and life… is having people around us interested in asking. Last question from Eric was, “Did you check your car for snakes when you got home? No? That’s okay – you can just sell it.”

A Story of Resilience, Love and Thriving

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“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” -Brene Brown

One of the things that Vicki Atkinson and I hear from podcast guests is that we are warm and welcoming. A lovely thing to hear. But I’d flip that around and say that what makes it work is that our guests are open and courageous.

We met author, public speaker, and parental advocate Vickie Rubin through our mutual blog friend, Ab. I love that because they both have such genuineness. We get to see in action how they show up for life. Whether at home or in their roles as advocates, they come alongside others to see them and share stories that make everything a little clearer and brighter.

So in the latest episode (and last episode of 2024) of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, Vickie gives us the elevator pitch for her book, Raising Jess. She jokes that it’s long enough to require an elevator in the tallest building in Manhattan. Fitting, because there is so much goodness in her book about raising her child with a chromosome deletion: mother’s intuition, decisions about whether to have more children, the grandparent’s point of view, and more.

Vickie’s openness and support of others are so inspiring. In her work supporting other families trying to navigate the systems to get resources for their children and in Facebook communities, Vickie is a powerful parental resource and advocate. By telling her story, she continues to help others navigate their own challenges.

Vicki and I ask about what’s next for Vickie. She’s recently published an article in Newsweek and she tells us about the writing classes she taking.

This is a great episode that not only focuses on the resilience, love, and thriving of one family but also inspires the same in everyone who listens. When we share our stories, we empower others and Vickie illustrates this so well.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in our books, our podcasts, and our lives.

We know you’ll love it!

On a programming note – this is the last podcast for 2024. Our next episode featuring the amazing Beth (i didn’t have my glasses on… blog) will drop on Jan 10th, 2025.

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 97: Raising Jess with Vickie Rubin

Episode 97 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Vickie Rubin | Author & Advocate | Special Needs Parenting
Thankful for Superhero Healthcare Folks: Bones, Scopes & Hopes
Newsweek Article: Mom’s Diagnosis Was Crushing Enough, Then She Gave Me an Ominous Warning

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels, quote from Finding My Way to Forgiveness by Vicki Atkinson)

Companionship and Change

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts

The other day I was switching over my company’s domain from another provider to WordPress. My hand hovered over the “Submit” button as I went through my mental check list one more time.

No matter how many times I do these things, they give me pause. But I was emboldened by a recent podcast conversation Vicki and I had with long-time blogger, Mark Petruska about embracing tech and non-tech change. Isn’t it amazing how knowing you are in good company helps? It certainly is one of the great benefits I get from doing these podcasts.

Vicki Atkinson and I loved this conversation with Mark. It’s his 15th year blogging on WordPress. And he blogged on a different platform before that. Clearly, he’s a pro.

So he walks us through the many things that he’s done to keep things fresh over the years. Switching themes, changing site names, even combining two blogs and changing URLs.

His advice as a veteran? Know the purpose of your blog and keep it in mind as you redesign.

Mark tells us about December snow and, for us relatively new people to WordPress, it’s some cool history.

One of the takeaways that I love from this conversation is that Mark talks about site design as a creative act in and of itself. So if we are ever stuck in a writing rut, it’s one idea to get us out!

This is a really encouraging episode that on the surface is about  the considerations behind designing a good site and all that goes in to a WordPress blog. But really it’s also about knowing your purpose and embracing change in any area. Mark’s long experience is both illuminating and emboldening.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – not only in our words but also in our site designs.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 96: Embracing Tech and Non-Tech Change with Mark Petruska

HoTM Episode 96 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Mark’s book – a brilliant thriller: https://www.amazon.com/No-Time-Kings-Mark-Petruska/dp/1614344604

Mark’s blog: https://markpetruska.com/

Other Episodes with Mark:

Episode 65: How to Be the New Guy with Mark Petruska

Episode 41: Enter if You Dare with Mark Petruska

Episode 33: Love Lessons with Mark Petruska

Episode 26: Eye of the Tiger with Mark Petruska

Episode 18: No Time for Kings with Mark Petruska

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels)

Marketing, For What It’s Worth

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“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier

My utilitarian corkscrew gave out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It raised one arm on a broken gear and announced that it had served with honor and now was done.

Which left me with the corkscrew I bought from the J. Peterman catalog more than 20 years ago. Do you remember that catalog? I used to keep it on my desk for when I needed a creative break – or just to dream a little. I loved the little micro stories so much that I felt guilty putting it in the recycling bin, even if I had a new version in hand.

For anyone that isn’t familiar, here’s a sample description from their website. The Howdaseat is a folding chair:

Howdaseat.

This wonderful contraption is only for people over 40, or under.

Made of basswood slats and tough, natural canvas duck, its only role in life is to support your back properly.

The way it holds you is like a hug, and like all hugs, it will make you feel good. If your back hasn’t felt good for the last 19 years, this thing will make you feel very, very good. And surprised it took so long.

Roll it up and carry it under your arm. Room to room. House to car to office. For reading, driving, concerts; and staring across the pond at that stand of maples there and marveling at how really well designed the human back is, after all. Made in USA.

I bought several things from that catalog back in the day. The funny thing was that the things, once in hand, never lived up to their marketing. The words, the stories, the mystique stayed with the stories and not with the object itself.

Which I remembered once again as I wrestled with the J. Peterman corkscrew this past weekend. It reminded me of the magic of stories. And that when it comes to marketing, finding things that are undersold and overdelivered is better. May we remember both things this holiday season.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Use Your Words

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“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As a mom of a 4-year-old and 8-year-old, I frequently find myself using the phrase, “Use your words.” The other day, my youngest wanted something on a high-up shelf and was pointing to it. I looked up and there were only like a gazillion possibilities. So I said, “use your words.”

At his age, his words are imprecise. Last night could mean the night prior but it could also mean anytime in the past. Orange might be anything on the spectrum between yellow and magenta. But even words that don’t guide directly are more helpful than guessing.

It made me think about all the ways we can use words, especially in writing. Here are three of my favorites:

Direction-instruction

Our ability to teach other people what we know or have discovered is astounding. If I had to draw it out or act it out, we’d all be here for a LOOOONG time.

“The capacity to learn is a gift; The ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.”

Brian Herbert

Whether I’m reading how to replace a board on my deck or the finer points of philosophy, I’m so grateful that others use their words to communicate what they have learned because it helps me immensely.

Process-connect

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”

Hafiz

I frequently don’t understand “life.” I wend my way through the day and it seems like there are some unifying threads running through it if I could just see it from enough distance. But then I slow down to write it down and something magically pops. Here’s an example.

The other day a co-worker unloaded in an out-of-character way. I was so surprised and impacted by this that I wrote it down as a story, simply for my own use – almost a transcription of “they said” and “I said.” By the time I’d gotten the words out, I felt as if I’d created a storage space for the event; a way to buffer the rest of my day so that the after-effects of my conversation didn’t layer on to all the rest of my interactions.

Then two days later I got an email from the co-worker apologizing. They let me know about some personal stuff going on that colored their conversation with me. We can process it now (and maybe save ourselves from having to apologize) or we can process later, but putting words to the experience helps sort it all out.

One of the most impactful ways I think we use words is this full-circle processing and connection. We write to understand and then, for the stuff we publish, it connects us to others and their experience.

Amuse-entertain

At bedtime the other night, I was warning my 8-year-old daughter not to hit her brother. She retorted to me, “What? Do you want to me to grow up all Martin Luther King like non-violent?” I was so surprised by the out of the blue reference that I not only stopped talking, but also burst out laughing. And then we were all giggling and whatever had caused the kerfuffle was forgotten.

Words have magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.

Sigmund Freud

Yes, I do want my kids to grow up all non-violent. They probably have a better chance of that if they remember to use their words, hopefully in ways that invoke the best use of that magical power.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Dreams, Writing and Creativity

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“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinhem

I had a friend who once told me that when his wife woke up from dreams in which he was behaving badly, he’d pay for it all day. He didn’t actually have to be dismissive or philandering – because on those days, she’d treat him as if he already done it.

I can attest to the lingering effect of dreams. Even if I don’t remember exactly what happened, I can awaken powerfully emboldened or ambiguously scared. So I love this podcast episode in which Vicki Atkinson and I are talking with author, blogger, and former newspaper writer, Melanie McGauran about decoding our dreams. We love our conversations with Melanie – she is so engaging and insightful.

This is such a fascinating episode. The interior of our minds is an interesting, and sometimes scary, place. But it is so fun how Melanie brings her love of mysteries to this practice of sifting through the clues.

Melanie talks about her fascination with dreams and how she both remembers hers and extends them. It’s a wonderful practice to not only appreciate the dreamscape but also focus the mind in the middle of the night.

She introduces us to the work of Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams and his insight that in dreaming, we access our memory tree but without the guardrails of logic.

Melanie combines that memory mixology with her unstoppable creativity, joy and problem-solving to decode dreams.

This episode is such a fun take on dreaming, writing and creativity. We love Melanie’s passion and interest and get to see that in action as she helps us make stories from our dreams.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in conversation, and in dreams.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 94: Decoding Our Dreams with Melanie McGauran

Episode 94 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this episode:

Late and Lost by Vicki Atkinson

Melanie’s blog: https://leavingthedooropen.com/

“Why We Sleep” – Matthew Walker, Ph.D

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels)

Refreshing Depth and Reflection

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“Shallow waters don’t lead to new continents.” – Constance Friday

In the Pacific Northwest where I live, we are blessed with beautiful lakes filled with fresh, clear water. Seeing the bottom gives me such a great sense of depth and stillness. When I spend any time near a PNW lake, I come away with a better feel for my life in reflection.

There are some people that are just like these lakes. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but when I’ve met these remarkable individuals, I come away feeling that same sense of refreshing depth and reflection.

It’s how I felt after Vicki Atkinson and I recorded a podcast with Cindy Georgakas, Episode 93: Celebrating Poetry with Cindy Georgakas. In this vibrant conversation we get such a wonderful taste of Cindy’s energized and connected presence. She tells us how Covid was the impetus of starting to share wellness information in a different format.

That led to her book released last year in the Happiness Category, Re-Create & Celebrate: 7 Steps to Live the Life of Your Dreams. In the process of releasing that book, she planned a second release of a book of poetry she wasn’t able to include in Re-Create & Celebrate. Her poetry book, Celebrating Poetry is due out this month!

Hearing Cindy tell these stories underscores the rich lessons of learning to adjust when what we’ve planned turns out to be different in timing and format.

Speaking of planning, Vicki and I ask Cindy about what else she has planned on her creative radar.

This is a great episode because all of Cindy’s answers are so full of heart. She is an inspiring author to listen to – because she’s so interested in creating a-ha moments for others. Cindy is a well-spring of wisdom that speaks to the essence of who we are.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in poetry, and in conversation.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 93: Celebrating Poetry with Cindy Georgakas

HoTM episode 93 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Cindy’s website and blog: https://uniquelyfitblog.com/

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue;
Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith;
Blog: https://wynneleon.com/

The Thread of Writing

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“You can’t think yourself out of a writing block; you have to write yourself out of a thinking block.” – John Rogers

One of the things that I love about talking with authors, bloggers, and writers is that there is a consistent thread of writing as a way to process life. To be intentional, to be mindful, to find patterns. From Dr. Stein (Dr. Gerald Stein blog) who creates helpful and rich life lessons from his years of as a psychologist to David (Pinwheel in a Hurricane blog) who says writing is a way for his swirly bits to land, it’s easy to see the depth that comes with writing it down.

So that makes it so fun to continue the trend in this episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast. Vicki Atkinson and I are talking with author, and blogger, Lauren Scott of the Baydreamer Writes blog.

In this wonderful episode, Lauren tells us the beautiful story about how she started a poetry blog 14 years ago. In the process, she cultivated the roots she’d planted as a young girl for poetry as a destination for her emotions.

Vicki and I ask how she took the step from her blog to publishing books. Lauren tells us the themes of each of her FOUR published books. She weaves the theme of love through all of them, even the most serious, just the way love carries us through life.

And she gives us a sneak peek into the children’s book that is about to hit the press. She authored it with her nephew as illustrator.

The morning we recorded this podcast, Lauren’s piece Treats Only, Please was announced as best publication of the month on Spillwords Press

This podcast is like a master class on the growth mindset. Those are my words, not Lauren’s because she is wonderfully humble and real. Which makes it even more powerful and inspiring to hear Lauren tell about her writer’s journey – all the things she’s overcome and been willing to try – and how that feeds into fantastic ideas for new projects.

I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling and writing it down.

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 92: Baydreamer – Author Lauren Scott

HoTM Episode 92 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Links for this Episode:

Lauren’s Website: baydreamerwrites.com
Author Of The Month, May 2023 Spillwords Press
Monthly Contributor, Gobblers-Masticadores Literary Website
Amazon Author Page

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

Refining Our Wishes

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“Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

I’m going the long way to solve a problem in my house. This is not an excuse for a long post – in fact the post is only 354 words. Just an admission at the outset that I understand there are more expedient ways to address the issue.

Here it is: Mr. D is in a phase where he wants a lot of things. He sees it on tv and then wants to own it. He’s quite tenacious at five-years-old for insisting on what he wants. Right now we have a “wishlist” for these things. It works to a degree but it’s too easy to just add and add and add to it.

So I came up with the idea to build a box that he could write every wish into (to practice his writing). And for every wish, he has to come up with an accompanying thing he’s grateful for to put in the box too.

I also wanted to show him how we can build things. So I started with the leftover wood I had after fixing my kitchen flooring and measured out and cut some pieces of wood to build a box. Two boxes really – one for nine-year-old Miss O as well so she doesn’t miss out.

I triumphantly carried these things upstairs so that the kids could do the work of assembling and decorating these boxes. But then, on the kitchen counter, I roughly fit the pieces together to show off and saw my mistake.

The base is 2.5” wide – the pieces are 1” thick. Assembled that way, the “box” is only a half an inch. It’s not that wishes won’t fit in there. It’s that they’ll never come out. 🙂

So, I set out to show that it’s okay to wish for things, but then we have to work for them. And I ended up demonstrating that sometimes when we put together the pieces of our dreams, it doesn’t work out the way we intended. But that’s okay too – because we get to refine and repeat.

(featured photo from Pexels)