kindness – Page 2 – Surprised By Joy

Connecting the Dots

March 19, 2025March 18, 2025Posted in inspirationTagged community, faith, inspiration, kindness, patience, storytelling86 Comments

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Steve Jobs

Like the quote for this post, I couldn’t see how all the dots on this story connected until the end. But I know how it started — when I showed up at the school playground Monday afternoon with an envelope full of money.

I’d signed nine-year-old Miss O for Glee Club. Because she’d joined the after school club late, the teacher gave me a pro-rated fee for the activity. She hadn’t included a payment link. So in the spirit of not wanting to make any more work for her, I put $160 in an envelope, sealed it and wrote only the teacher’s name on the front. My plan was to hand it to her when I picked Miss O up after class.

But I had to pick up five-year-old Mr. D at the regular end of the school day. I was talking with other parents when he came over to tell me that two kids weren’t letting a little kid go on the playground. Another parent and I went to investigate. Two boys had a smaller one pinned. As we tried to convince them to let him go, one hit the kid a couple of times and the other kid kicked the smaller kid when he was on the ground. Then they walked away.

We helped the smaller kid get a shoe back on and then as he got up, he started to follow the other boys. I said something to him about letting things cool down but he either didn’t hear, understand, or agree.

I walked back to the other parents. Something caught my eye across the playground. The kids again had the little boy on the ground and were kicking him. Some instinctive thing kicked in and I started running the 100 yards towards where they were yelling, “Stop! Cut it out.”

Let’s be clear – I’m an endurance person, not a running person. If my yelling didn’t scare them, I bet my awkward sprint probably did. One kid let go, the little one got up, and the second kid started chasing him with me running after them both.

Fortunately, the director of the after school program was alerted by my yelling and came over to handle the situation. No doubt that not only he was more qualified but he also had a relationship with the kids. I walked away knowing the situation was in good hands.

But when I got home, I couldn’t find the envelope with the cash. I felt sick about it. However, I rationalized that my adrenaline fueled run across the playground was worth it.

I knew this wasn’t the Glee Club teacher’s problem so I figured out how to Venmo her the money. When I returned to pick up Miss O at the end of the after school class, the teacher said to me, “I got the money.”

Confused, I asked, “The Venmo?” She shook her head and said, “The envelope with the cash.”

A student had found the envelope on the playground and tracked the teacher down to give it to her.

I don’t know how you connect the dots in this story. But for me, it was a God moment. I felt a shiver as I saw in hindsight the hand of something bigger than me drawing the thru line from start to finish.

(featured photo from pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

Inter-generational Impact

March 7, 2025March 6, 2025Posted in podcastTagged creativity, family, inspiration, kindness, love, podcast, relationships, writing53 Comments

“I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.” – Beatrix Potter

I’ve mentioned these details before but every once in a while I’m reminded of how remarkable it is that:
– In 2014, I made all the final arrangements to get pregnant via IVF on November 6th and thought, “Wow, life is about to change.” And then on November 7th, my dad died in a bike accident and I thought, “No, not like that!”
– Ten months later, I finished the line edits on the book I wrote about my dad at 8pm and seven hours later at 3am, I went into labor with Miss O

I’ve always known their stories are inextricably tied. But it is fascinating to see Miss O’s understanding of that evolve in ways that I can’t predict. How her perception of the grandfather she next met grows is really cool to see. It’s like a sneak peek into the inter-generational impact from the Beatrix Potter quote for this post.

This coming Sunday, March 9th would be my dad’s 90th birthday if he were alive. Vicki Atkinson and I sat down with my nine-year-old daughter, Miss O in Episode 106: The Miss Factor with Miss O. to talk about him.

Miss O was given a fourth grade class assignment to write about a perspective change. When she came home with this short essay about my dad, I was stunned.

She reads the essay to us and tells us what inspired her. Clearly I have a personal interest in this but at a bigger level, it’s fascinating to see what kids take away from family stories.

Vicki asks about how Miss O finds her voice and is so good at teasing out why it’s so meaningful to hear it from her perspective.

When we dig in to what Miss O knows about her grandfather who she never met, it’s both interesting and endearing to see the impression she’s gleaned of my dad. It’s also really funny to see the many ways they are alike.

Miss O talks about what she is doing next. Namely, making a slime channel on YouTube kids. As Miss O says, she is passionate about slime and she wants to share her creations. Fortunately, for all us we have boundaries – the slime has to stay in the rec room and she’s only showing her hands.

We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we talk about family stories!

We know you’ll love it!

Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 106: The Miss Factor with Miss O

Episode 106 transcript

AND subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

From the hosts:

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father, Finding My Father’s Faith that I wrote in the months after he died and before Miss O was born.

(featured photo is my dad and me at age 2)

Widening the Circle of Compassion

February 26, 2025February 25, 2025Posted in kindnessTagged compassion, inspiration, kindness, living, love, relationships80 Comments

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.” – Albert Einstein

On Monday night after the kids went to bed, I was outside in my pajamas wearing my hat with the built-in head lamp sorting through the dirt of a terrarium. In a moment of sanity, I thought, “What the eff am I doing?”

On one level, it was easy to understand what I was doing. I was trying to find our pet snail after the terrarium accidentally slid off the shelf when five-year-old Mr. D tried to put it up. We’d cleaned up the dirt and put it back in the terrarium but didn’t see Snail-D, also known as Gary, when we did. Since it happened during the middle of dinner time and on bath night, we hadn’t had time to return to try to see if he’d survived the fall.

So maybe the better question was why was I doing it? I have a limit to how much I can do in a day. I often say that I’m off the clock after the kids go to bed. It’s when I finally get some downtime. While I will sometimes do the dishes, I try to be pretty good about just having a cup of tea and reading a book.

We hadn’t intended to adopt another creature but Mr. D discovered Gary the snail crawling up the side of our entertainment center. He must have come in on the cat’s coat. So, it seemed like he’d found us and Mr. D was really excited about having his own “pet.” I didn’t think we’d manage to keep him alive for a day. But now, a month later, Gary seems to be thriving.

Until the accident, at least. I have to admit, I have come to sort of like Gary. He’s pretty social anytime the kids get him out of his terrarium. And he eats all my left-over lettuce.

But I suspect that the real reason I spent my me-time on Monday night looking through the dirt for Gary was because life is precious and precarious. Deep down I know the conditions of my life could change because of an accident or because of the whim of a whacky autocrat.

So helping others, even mollusks, also helps me to feel better.

You’ll be happy to know that Gary survived.

(featured photo is Gary before the accident)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

Be Kind

February 17, 2025February 16, 2025Posted in kindnessTagged envy, families, kindness, love, parenting, relationships85 Comments

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato

We’ve been attending a lot of kids birthday parties recently. Five-year-old Mr. D said to me, “Mama, seeing kids gets presents at their birthdays makes me feel jealous.”

I replied, “That’s understandable.” I thought about saying something about generosity, grace. or friendship. Instead, I decided to tell story of my own.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking Cooper the dog in the neighborhood and I noticed that our neighbors have two new nice cars. I like this family a great deal so I felt a small stab of envy but not in a snarky way.

A couple days later, I ran into the mom of this family. I asked how she was. She answered that she and her husband were flying down to California to get her 20-year-old son’s stuff from college. He was diagnosed with lymphoma over the holiday break and is starting treatment soon. Damn. Damn. Damn.

As I gave her a hug and my deep felt and sincerest best wishes, I thought of my recent pang of envy. Everyone is going through something. Perhaps it only depends if we are close enough and trustworthy enough to know what it is.

I told a simplified version of this story to my kids. I’m not sure they got a lot out of it because they don’t yet quite understand that people have layers like onions, to quote Shrek. It may be years or decades before they fully comprehend that even though we always want new “stuff,” that isn’t what truly matters.

But I figured we can at least start the conversation now. I suspect we all need the reminder. I know I do.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

Transforming Anger Into Something Life-Giving

January 8, 2025January 8, 2025Posted in life lessonsTagged anger, Brene Brown, change, courage, kindness, transformation88 Comments

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

I witnessed a short, angry burst of aggression the other day. A driver pulled into an intersection as if to take a free right. A woman on foot with her dog in tow, crossed against the light, rapped on the car’s passenger window to tell the driver that it was “No turn on red.” Then she kept knocking on the window to continue angrily yelling the same thing over and over again.

The funny thing was that the driver had not yet taken a right turn but the woman was so incensed that it was likely to happen that she broke the rules to tell them not to. It would have been comical had she not been so apoplectic.

The light turned green, the car turned right and the interaction was over. But it stuck with me, so I went home and looked up anger in Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown:

Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

I think this piqued my interest because the injustices of this world and our recent national politics make me angry. I need to remember to transform that into something life-giving in order to participate in creating change.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Don’t Wait Alone

November 20, 2024November 19, 2024Posted in inspirationTagged kindness, relationships, time, waiting45 Comments

“Time is too slow for those who wait, Too swift for those who fear, Too long for those who grieve, Too short for those who rejoice, But for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke

On Monday morning, Cooper and I were walking in the pre-dawn hours down a long block in our neighborhood. A taxi went slowly by us. As my mind wandered over how taxi cab drivers were doing in the era of Lyft and Uber, we neared the end of the block.

At the curb was a man standing with his suitcase. I asked, “Was that your taxi?”

He said “Yes. And what’ll I do if it doesn’t come back? I’m going to be late!” We looked about 20 houses down towards the end of the block. The lights from the taxi revealed its continued slow roll down the street. Fortunately, it turned around as it reached that far intersection and started creeping back towards where the man stood.

The man said, “What’s more obvious than a man standing with a suitcase?”

I laughed and said, “No doubt, the message is pretty clear!”

Cooper and I stood near him until the taxi driver finally spotted him and sped up. As I turned away to continue to walk the dog, I silently wished him a good trip. And hoped that our moments of camaraderie helped ease the tension of being late.

I think it did.

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(featured photo from Pexels)

Let’s Stick Together

October 21, 2024October 20, 2024Posted in inspirationTagged authenticity, caretaking, inspiration, kindness, life lessons, motivation, relationships, unity'61 Comments

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

Last Thursday, I had a moment of chaperone panic. I was in charge of Mr. D and another 5-year-old, a little girl named, Lydia. She was a delightful little girl who wanted to name our team, Rainbow Unicorn. So she was exactly on message for her age group.

After seeing all the sights, playing the games, eating lunch and picking out pumpkins, I asked Lydia if she wanted to do the corn maze. She had said several times she wanted to do it. As we approached the entrance of the maze, it was just the three of us: Mr. D, Lydia and me.

We walked fifteen feet to the first intersection and Lydia yelled, “Let’s split up!”

I bit back my scream of “Noooooo!” and eked out a mostly calm, “Let’s stick together.“

It strikes me that spreading chaos is a little fun. Not that little Lydia meant anything by it. She was just injecting a little five-year-old energy into the event.

Maybe my panic struck a little harder than usual since it’s election season in the US. I’m tired of the divisiveness that stokes up fear and the conflict entrepreneurs that capitalize on it. Let’s stick together.

Ring a Bell

September 9, 2024September 8, 2024Posted in inspiration, UncategorizedTagged friendship, inspiration, kindness, love, relationships86 Comments

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I’ve hung a yak bell on the inside handle of my back door for decades. I bought the bell in Nepal when I trekked to Everest base camp so I find it a pleasing sound for many reasons. It’s been useful so that my dogs can signal when they want to go out. Neither Cooper nor Biscuit before him were big barkers so it was pretty easy to train them to ring the bell when they want to go outside.

It’s a lot harder to train them to just do it when they NEED to go out instead of just want to go out. <Squirrel> But hey, I won’t complain about a system that works most of the time for canine to human communication.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that Cooper rings the bell for the cat. That is, if he sees her sitting outside the door wanting to come in, he’ll ring it. Or, if she’s sitting next to him and wants to go out, he’ll ring the bell. When I open the door, he sits back down and doesn’t go outside as if to say, “I’m just doing this for my friend, the cat. Who could do it for herself but doesn’t want to appear trainable.”

Who says chivalry is dead?

A Full-Circle Story

May 17, 2024Posted in inspirationTagged blog, connection, inspiration, kindness, love, openness, podcast, relationships, storytelling40 Comments

“Be kind to yourself and share it with the world.” – unknown

The other day I opened my door to an older gentleman who was going door-to-door on behalf of Greenpeace. Let’s call him John. He was warm and friendly and told me he’d grown up in this neighborhood and named the elementary school he attended.

As we were talking about plastic in the ocean, he mentioned that he’d just been talking to a neighbor. She wanted to subscribe for an annual payment. She knew she’d remember to do it because the day he came by was her birthday.

Clearly this neighbor had made an impact on his day. He went on to explain that she and her husband invited him in to sit down as they did the paperwork. It gave him some rest for his aching knees.

I hazarded a guess based on the story he’d told me, “Was it Donna and Bruce?”

“Yes,” he laughingly confirmed even though they are two streets away. There are about 25 houses per block in this neighborhood so he must have knocked on about 50 doors between my house and theirs.

So, I told him the story about how I met Donna and Bruce one evening about four years ago. It was early on in the pandemic and my daughter was doing on-line Kindergarten. I was trying to optimize her desk situation. Someone up the street had put a great kids desk out on the curb to give away. I was trying to carry it home with my 5-year-old daughter, my 6-year-old neighbor, and my 1-year-old son in tow.

And then Donna, who I’d never met before, offered to step in and help. Her delightful spirit is just one of the reasons she’s one of my favorite people to run into in the neighborhood.

[The next time I saw Donna after my conversation with John, the Greenpeace guy, I told her that how John told me the story of how her warmth and kindness had made such a difference to him. It was so fun to see her reaction to one of the many touchpoints of positive impact she must deliver in a day.]

After John, the Greenpeace guy left, my kids and I went out for a walk. We came across him sitting on a garden wall on the next street over resting his aching knees. Because of the stories we’d shared, it felt like he was an old friend. We sat down for a moment and chatted with him before we all moved on, still connected by the thread of narrative.

For a story about an a-ha moment Vicki had as a child about the roots of her dad’s big heart, please listen to our Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast: Episode 67: Love the Ones That are Different with Vicki and Wynne

Vicki Atkinson and I are big believers in the power of story – to connect us, to create intergenerational healing, and to make meaning out of the events of our lives. Each episode of our podcast will start with someone telling a story in each episode.

To listen to the podcast, Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts. Or subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a video clip of each story: @SharingtheHeartoftheMatter.

Upward Spirals

March 13, 2024March 12, 2024Posted in inspirationTagged courage, creativity, gratitude, inspiration, joy, kindness, Lifestyle60 Comments

“The morning whispers hope, the afternoon sings of possibilities, and the evening reminds us to cherish the moments. Embrace each part of the day with gratitude.” – unknown

This was originally published on 8/17/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

As I was writing my post last week, Good Mood of the Soul, I came across the research that joy and gratitude often result in an upward spiral. The more we focus on gratitude, the easier it is to perceive joy. And when in the midst of joy, we are more open to gratitude.

So here’s the list of things I’m grateful for this week:

For everyone that is willing to read what I am grateful for

That I can still hear the Click and Clack, the Car Talk brothers in the Cars movies.

The quiet way my three-year-old son says, “you are my best mom friend” to me so that I have to lean down to hear. In that position it goes directly from my ear to my heart.

That we have the ability to take pictures with our hearts.

The way it sounds when my seven-year-old daughter says, “I’m thankful for the tooth fairy.” while missing her two front teeth.

For out-of-the blue notes from individuals I admire telling me something I’ve done right.

That I’ve been able to learn, to some degree, how to fix the things that I’ve done wrong.

That broken eggs make food, literal and metaphorical.

For whoever invented yoga pants and made messy hair look sexy, at least on the West Coast. And if that was only in the 90’s and is no longer a thing, for anyone that continues to let me think that.

Speaking of inventions, whoever invented self-sealing water balloons that fill 20 at a time.

That life keeps giving me opportunities to learn that suffering just softens me up for the next great thing.

For every grown-up that showed me what vulnerability looked like when I was a kid.

For every grown-up that shows me what vulnerability is when I’m a grown-up.

For this necklace I bought on a whim and have worn for 20 years that says, “Strength is having a grateful life” and that I have grown into knowing what that means.

Cool sheets on a hot night.

That I have a bed to sleep in.

Green tea on dark mornings.

That connect-the-dots works in art and in life.

For the human traits of kindness, courage and generosity.

For the Divine traits of grace, faith, hope and love.

For the times I’ve been on my knees needing loyalty, courage, generosity, grace, faith, hope and love – and that what I’ve received in those moments has opened me up to knowing what those traits are in my bones.

I am grateful for upward spirals.

What are you grateful for this week? What have you learned about upward spirals?