Good Mood of the Soul

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”Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” – Joseph Campbell

This post was originally published on 8/10/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

Recently, a friend sent me a printout of a sermon that my dad, who was a Presbyterian pastor, gave on parenting 36 years ago. She had a printed copy and kept it filed away. Now that her kids are long grown, she sent it to me.

In it, my dad gives a quick synopsis of his children’s personalities, “We look at our three children and see that their responses to life were distinctly different from day one. Our first child was laid back and relaxed … our second was wound up so tight she couldn’t keep her head still to nurse … our third was happy and charming. They had those marks when they were born … they still have them today.”

I’m the third one. That was written when I was 17 years old. But there’s something about family patterns that keep us trapped in roles from which we need to move on from. For me that was moving from happy to joyful.

In her recent book, Atlas of the Heart, researcher and author Brené Brown defines happiness as “Looking at the data we’ve collected, I would define the state of happiness as feeling pleasure often related to the immediate environment or current circumstances.”

And that fits pretty well with the list I can name of the things that make me happy:

  • Dance parties with my kids
  • Finishing a shower without interruption from my kids
  • Hearing a song I loved from college in the grocery store
  • A vanilla milkshake on a hot summer day

When I discovered meditation and mindfulness during my travels through the less pleasant periods of my life, it taught me that joy is a different feeling altogether. Brené Brown says she thinks of joy as “‘the good mood of the soul.’” She defines it based on her research as, “An intense feeling of deep spiritual connection, pleasure and appreciation.”

For me joy comes when I let go of seeking and preference. As poet Mark Nepo said, “One key to knowing joy is being easily pleased.” It’s cultivating my awareness of what is already present and my delight at the magic in the air. It works when I stop narrowing my field of vision to my agenda and open to all there is. Not surprisingly, researchers have connected joy to gratitude and describe the two together as “an ‘intriguing upward spiral.’ (from Atlas of the Heart). Gratitude increases our ability to feel joy, joy makes it easier to find gratitude and so on.

And here are the things that make me joyful:

  • Every time I get to wake up and witness a sunrise
  • Catching a glimpse of my kids in a circle with the other kids in the neighborhood leaning heads in to examine some fascinating part of life
  • Holding hands
  • Hearing the clink of glasses at a dinner with dear friends
  • Witnessing a whale surface to breathe
  • Listening to the Bach Cello Suites played by Yo-Yo Ma
  • The view from the top of a mountain no matter how breathless, exhausted and cold I am
  • Anything that comes out of a conversation that starts with “How can I be of help?”

The conditions of happiness are specific and fleeting. I’m frequently happy but it certainly isn’t a constant.

The conditions of joy are deep and enduring. They represent ties in my life, beauty of this world and things I’ve worked to make priorities. It is the current underneath my mood. It’s the reward for when I’m aligned with my values.

For the times of my life where I’ve felt like I’m stuck, wading through glue or too busy taking care of others to take care of myself – it’s joy that pulled me through, making it worthwhile all the way. I might have been born happy, but I’m grateful to live joyfully.

(featured photo from Pexels)

38 thoughts on “Good Mood of the Soul”

  1. Pingback: Years In The Making - Wise & Shine

  2. Lovely, Wynne. When the pursuit of happiness becomes a stressful race involving comparisons and fleeting time, joy vanishes. You offer a good recipe I think. To live, love, and take the joy as it comes to you, often in simple things. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Moments of happiness, moments of joy … and contentment comes in there somewhere. Maybe contentment comes from allowing yourself those moments of happiness and joy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautifully said, Wynne. It continually amazes me how powerful those tiny moments of joy and contentment are, and easily they can pull us up out of despair. What a gift to be have been born with a bit of that in your disposition. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a wonderful list. No scratch that, what a joyful list!!! I especially liked how you closed out this piece Wynne. “For the times of my life where I’ve felt like I’m stuck, wading through glue or too busy taking care of others to take care of myself – it’s joy that pulled me through, making it worthwhile all the way. I might have been born happy, but I’m grateful to live joyfully.” Ooooh, it really hits home. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Some poet Nepo was. “One key to knowing joy is being easily pleased” doesn’t even rhyme! How about this:

    One key to knowing joy is being easily pleased. Oh, boy!

    What was so hard about that??

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It was a joy to re-read this post, Wynne. I think you have discovered the true meaning of joy and transcended from places of happiness to something more enduring.

    It’s wonderful that you share these experiences and lessons with us – and with your children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you, Ab! You seem to be well-grounded in joy so I really appreciate this comment coming from you! Hope your last week before spring break is going quickly!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you Wynne for putting into words the differences between ‘happiness’ and ‘joy’. Not easy to do and I’m sure different for many. Your definitions resonate with me too. Happiness is not an overwhelming, daily presence for me but is present, for example, when I’m in the garden on a sunny day and I’m feeling “oh this is nice”. It’s fleeting and transient. The feeling of ‘joy’ is when I’m enjoying watching/doing something with husband of 53 years and we discuss it afterwards. It is connected to ‘being grateful’ and I’m not sure I realised that before.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful response. Your words to describe happiness as fleeting and transient really resonate with me. And I love how you drive joy deeper with the discussion with your husband after something. Beautiful!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I like your comparison of happiness and joy, Wynne. Although I have not stopped to analyze the events or conditions that define or initiate them for me – possibly they overlap at times, depending on my viewpoint and mood in a certain moment – I am tuned in to the difference of feeling in my body. Happiness is a quiet feeling, floating, lighthearted, in a flow, and can go on for a while, whereas joy comes unexpectedly as a jolt in my body, rather like a thunderbolt, an elation, and is usually more fleeting, and intense. Happiness feels earthly, whereas joy feels connected to a higher power. (For me.)

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I have read this post of yours before Wynne, but it feels just as good and even more relevant the second time around, as I continue to wade through some difficult waters.
    I am so grateful to have discovered joy. As you say, an enduring under current that is there no matter the circumstances. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post again. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  13. We’ve been sold on the idea that happiness is some sort of Utopia where we will feel a constant state of happiness, all of the time, and if we don’t, we have failed!

    I have learned on my own journey, that happiness can be developed, and most importantly, we can do the inner work to slowly heal and even remove our inner blocks that stop us from feeling happy or even that we are worthy of happiness, and as a result we self-sabotage.

    In truth, happiness isn’t a constant state of feeling up and on top of the world, rather, it has its own ups and downs, yet even in a down flow when life is throwing stuff at us fast and furiously, we know the steps to finding our way back to it, we don’t feel despair that it is now gone forever!

    Even if I’m having a tough day now, because I have done so much inner work to teach myself to speak kindly instead of harshly to myself, even my worst days are still better than a good day in the past, simply because I speak gently to myself instead of being sarcastic or doubting that the good moment will last long, because I felt I was a loser and didn’t deserve happiness for too long!

    Happiness then becomes a gentle undercurrent to our lives when we learn to speak gently and kindly to ourselves!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Father knows best for sure! And your comment about ” Joy and happiness looks good on you!💖” You are so encouraging – and so clever. Thank you, Mary!

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