The World Series, the New York Marathon, the US elections – we’ve had some really big finish lines in the past couple of weeks. What’s interesting is that I don’t think we talk enough about the letdown that comes after finish lines. With the things that we try, there is often a post-event exhale that is not always easy.
After months of preparing a podcast episode with Melissa Arnot Reid, I expected relief. Instead, I felt exhausted and a little lost. I explore that post-achievement low with this Life of Try episode about goal setting, expectations, personal growth, and making room for rest after a meaningful effort.
Drawing on reflections from therapist Niro Feliciano and research psychologist Dr. Richard Brown, I talk about loosening your grip on outcomes, enjoying the process, and finding contentment in everyday moments—from a cup of tea to a Cheetos puzzle.
In this episode, I explore:
- The arrival fallacy: expecting a goal to bring lasting satisfaction
- Feeling proud and tired at the same time
- Finding small joys beyond achievement
- Moving toward your next try with kindness rather than pressure
If you’ve finished a project, returned from a long-awaited trip, or reached a milestone and wondered, “Now what?”—this conversation is for you. Please subscribe to The Life of Try, leave a comment with your biggest takeaway, and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to let the effort count. And let the rest count, too.
- Click this link to watch in a browser: The Arrival Fallacy: Finding Your Way After a Big Goal
- Subscribe to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thelifeoftry
- Subscribe to The Life of Try on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Links for this episode:
The Arrival Fallacy: Finding Your Way After a Big Goal transcript
Why Do I Still Feel Like a Failure After Reaching a Goal? A Therapist Explains by Niro Feliciano
Post-Achievement Depression: Overcoming the Slump | Psychology Today by Richard Brown
Related Episode
Growth Mindset, Habit Formation, and the Power of Rest
Success isn’t always about finishing first. Sometimes the greatest victories belong to those who stay prepared, keep growing, and never stop trying.
(featured photo from Pexels)
If my work has encouraged, inspired, or helped you try something new, consider supporting it with a small “cup of coffee” donation. Your support helps me keep creating conversations, stories, and resources that cheer people on as they do brave, meaningful work.
You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram wynneleon
So love this line: finding contentment in everyday moments. Awesome, Wynne.
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It’s so important! Thanks, Hazel!
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You’re welcome, Wynne
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I certainly hope the new Congress and those who voted for them think the job is done. It is unending, rather like 162’games a year in the Major Leagues.
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Unending — that’s for sure. We have a lot of work to do but thank goodness for the good news of these mid-terms!
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Thank you Wynne. I needed to hear this message tonight. I find in general, the societal pace is go go go – meet your goal – and as you said, there often is an emptiness or exhaustion at the finish line. Building in time to celebrate the finish line with others, to rest and to reflect, is often a forgotten milestone but oh so needed.
Arrival fallacy is new term I learned today – so thank you. And I do hope you take the time to relish and celebrate your recent fantastic podcast with Melissa. I didn’t realize it was 3 months in the making. Great job and perseverance. It certainly shows in the discussion that you two had!
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Oh so needed — well said, my friend! We (and I mean me) move on so quickly! And thank you for the kind words about the podcast with Melissa. It was worth celebrating! As is all the amazing work that you are doing!! Thanks, Ab!
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Thanks for the authenticity and encouragement Wynne. I was definitely someone who over focused on goals. Gradually, I’ve learned to savor more of the path along the way.
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Savor more of the path — what a beautiful way to say it, Brad! Thank you!
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The idea of the “arrival fallacy” is fascinating, and really resonates with me after striving for (and arriving at) good health, but still feeling like I hadn’t reached the *real* destination. Thanks for this, Wynne!
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It’s nice to have a word for it, isn’t it? Ah, it continues on…. 🙂
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Hmmm, I say “now what?” all the time – before, during, and after reaching goals!
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Isn’t that interesting? Ah, we are complicate creatures! 🙂
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For sure!
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I like many of the ideas you shared including taking a break to recharge and then move forward.
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Thank you for tuning in, Elizabeth. I needed the reminder to recharge most of all!
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It was a great subject.
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Such an important self care reminder, Wynne! Taking care, embracing the interlude on the other side of accomplishments. I often forget how important it is for me because as much as I love the doing, doing, doing…gah! I need to attend to how depleted I can feel. My energy needs to reset. Sending big hugs…thanks for the relatable message! ❤️
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Energy needs to reset — that’s the perfect way to put it. I know we both like to do so I appreciate that this landed for you too! Sending lots of love! ❤
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Xo! 😘
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Great topic, Wynne. I can relate to this feeling, especially when something that doesn’t turn out as well as I anticipated. For sure, recharging is a necessity. I also tie this into anyone who completes a successful project (writes a song, book, poem, makes a movie, paints a masterpiece, etc.) and wonders if they’re a one-hit wonder. Will I be able to replicate this feeling again? I remember reading an interview of John Rzeznik, lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls, who had been in a writing slump since his last big hit, and worried if he would ever be able to write anything again. He had an enormous feeling of relief after finally writing Iris. Imposter Syndrome strikes even the most successful performers.
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I like what you day Wynne: in any competition there are losers, and they eperiene the letdowns: it’s how you come down that’s important —
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I know that post-project feeling well. I don’t feel like myself and sometimes, I can’t find the solution right away that will help. I feel scattered; disjointed. But eventually, it always arrives: the activity that feels exactly right. I love that you did a Cheetos puzzle, Wynne, and that it was the perfect activity for restoring yourself and enjoying the moment. And talk about the solution being literally placed in front of you, inviting you… ☺️
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