“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real…to be honest…to let our true selves be seen.” – Brene Brown
A few years back I proposed/threatened/promised that I wanted to one day pack my kids and dog into an RV and go on a tour to meet blog buddies. The WordPress community really is so amazing for incredible stories, big hearts and willingness to interact.
On top of that, I’ve been fortunate to meet a number of WordPress friends in person over the years. Playwright Jack Canfora, artist Libby Saylor, Deb (Closer to the Edge blog), and Betsy Kerekes (Writing and Martial Arts blog). Unfortunately, I’ve not yet met my podcast partner and dear friend, Vicki Atkinson (Victoria Ponders blog) in person. But I was lucky enough to meet Vicki’s brilliant and delightful daughter when she came to Seattle.
When the incredible and effervescent Cindy Georgakas (Uniquely Fit blog) said she was coming to the Seattle last weekend, I jumped at the opportunity to spend a few minutes with her as well. My kids, Cooper the dog, and I piled into the car to do a mini blog adventure to meet up with her near where she and her family were staying.
Cindy confessed that her family didn’t think her blogging friends were real. Not only was it fun to prove that notion wrong but it’s also pretty amazing to discover that our blogging friends are pretty much who you’d expect them to be based on their writing.
Jack is witty, Libby is passionate, Deb is whip-smart and charming, Betsy is clever and strong, and Cindy is authentic and inspiring. Seeing that depth in person makes me even more grateful for the realness of this lovely community!
“A true artist is not one who is inspired, but one who inspires others.” – Salvador Dali
One of the best benefits of having a podcast is scheduling time to talk about creativity and writing. It’s a wonderful practice of having intentional conversations that inspire.
The latest episode, Episode 102 Writer’s Lessons, is a great example of this. Vicki Atkinson and I talk with author and blogger, Melanie McGauran about writer lessons. Melanie always inspires us with her curiosity and willingness to learn. She is so generous to be willing to share her lessons with us.
She tells us the story behind her essay Growing Up Fast in 1978. We love the essay for its revealing look at her family dynamics and the complicated path she had to walk to get to go to college.
And then she shares some of the lessons she learned from a class she took with author Marin Sardy. She tells us about the chronological canyon and other pitfalls we can fall into.
Melanie shares some of the back and forth she had with Marin as she absorbed the feedback Marin gave her. We laugh that sometimes it’s hard to listen even if the source is an acclaimed author.
Melanie reveals his advice that hones in on the reader experience. And she shares some questions he provides to make sure content is relatable:
Is it fun?
Is it challenging?
Is it inventive?
Am I giving the reader enough?
Are they bored?
Are they taking me where I want to lead them?
We’re confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the writer lessons learned that help us improve and extend our storytelling!
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I needed to be.” – Douglas Adams
My nine-year-old daughter, Miss O has started walking by herself to the neighborhood grocery store. She comes back with the most fabulous things. Not only the lemon I asked for but great stories about what she saw and experienced out in the world. The crow tapping on a wire and the longest dog howl ever, for example.
Also, the lessons learned. The first time it was that the automatic door sensor doesn’t work for her so she had to tailgate behind a taller person. The second time it was that she didn’t know that the checker was trying to hand back her change so she gave him a fist bump. The third time it was that she needed to wait for her change.
There are so many things to learn when we try new things. And in that spirit, Vicki Atkinson and I went scriptless for the latest podcast with author and blogger Mark Petruska in Episode 101: Out of Our Comfort Zone.
This format was Mark’s idea – to do a podcast without any prompts. To be fair, it’s not that different than our standard format. Usually we go into an episode with three or so prompts of things to talk about. But as all you listeners know, we clearly go down any side roads and questions that occur as we talk.
But in this episode, we each came up with a question for the others to answer. No predetermined topics or heads up.
And you know what? It was fun. Kinda like a great dinner party conversation. It opened the forum up for off-the-cuff storytelling.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of going out of our comfort zones to do unscripted storytelling!
“Focus more on the people who inspire you rather than annoy. You’ll get much further in life.” – Kristen Butler
This was originally published on another site on 12/13/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.
I was listening to social scientist and author, Arthur Brooks talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He was talking about the human tendency towards negativity bias. His example was something like we go to a lovely holiday dinner and have a great time – except for the 20 minutes when Aunt Polly went on a rant. And what do we remember afterwards? Aunt Polly’s rant.
I suppose I knew this to some degree before but it was gratifying to find out that this isn’t just a me thing. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us identify the sticky spots. Safe to say, it’s a little maladaptive at times in our modern society.
I realized that one of the places that I do this is in writing. I often draft a piece thinking about the naysayers in the audience. After listening to Arthur Brooks, I noodled on this practice. I think writing with critics in mind has some advantages – like developing a fuller view of my position and for motivating my inner editor.
But I can’t type when in a defensive crouch.
Thinking of some of my favorite lines from authors:
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from Mary Oliver.
“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world. You learn to see differently. In what seemed like dead situations, secret possibilities and invitations begin to open before you. In old suffering that held you long paralyzed, you find new keys. “ – John O’Donohue
These examples touch me in my bones in a way that makes me know they were written from the expansive space of possibility instead of the small space of fear.
Some of my best words have come when I’m surprised into them – I’ve laughed my way in or come fresh from sleep before my inner critic has arisen. Other times, I find I have to shift my posture – actually stretch or move out of that hunch over the keyboard that I naturally fall into. Anything to open the heart space in the front of my body as a physical reminder to let the words flow from my heart.
Maybe a rant from Aunt Polly is memorable. But the feeling of being touched from the inside out leaves a different kind of mark. One of possibility and inspiration. I’d much prefer the latter.
“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.” – Rachel Marie Marten
This past weekend my kids and I went to the Reptile Expo. I know that might be the least appealing hook for a Monday but stick with me.
It was an experience gift that my niece gave us for Christmas. The same delightful niece from whom we got the crested gecko. And guess what? My kids loved the idea. She and her husband made this great bingo card for the cards to help guide the experience.
My niece had given us an extra ticket so I extended the invitation to my friend, Eric. He asked if my niece was mad at me and then humorously declined. But he came over for dinner after we got back and had lots of questions.
And that’s where this got interesting to me. My kids loved the expo and so my off-the-cuff response was that we had a good time. But Eric is a great storyteller and pressed for the details. When he asked all about the show, it elicited stories and information I hadn’t really thought to mine.
Like he asked who went to reptile expos and it made me think of our reaction when we arrived. The show was about an hour south of Seattle and when we neared the fairgrounds, there was a huge line of people at the gate. We thought there must have been something else going on. Turns out the lines were for the reptile expo.” Two hundred people?” Eric prompted. More like two thousand.
And the type of people that attended were mostly families. In the bathroom, we saw a woman helping her grandsons wash their hands. And then she said, “Cmon, let’s go find grandpa and great-grandma.”
The first exhibit near the doors was snakes and the kids wanted to hold one. I stood back to watch until the gentleman that got one out for us explained that the protocol with kids is that he hands the snake to the adult and they supervise the kids holding them. Ugh.
Eric wanted to know whether the exhibitors were just people showing off their pets or if it was a money making opportunity. Most of the animals there were for sale. In one display, there was snake after snake after snake in what looked like cake displays. You know the topper you put on a cake plate? Let’s hope that these had latches to secure them. I didn’t get close enough to check.
There was also a guy who was charging $5 for anyone who wanted to take a picture with his snake around their neck. We passed but I got a picture of him with the snake around his neck. Eric took a lot at that and laughed, “Not surprisingly, he’s got snake tattoos.”
And there were also a couple of rescue organizations that had snakes, turtles, and geckos to adopt. I asked how most of their animals come to be in their care. It’s mostly when animal control calls them in. They even have a fostering system just like with dogs and cats.
One of these booths is where my kids got to pet a tortoise named Tate and hold a bearded dragon named Quibble. The volunteer that was helping us said she didn’t really enjoy geckos so I asked if it was bearded dragons she liked. “No,” she replied, “I like snakes.” When I asked, she listed the kind of snakes she had. I confess that I stopped actively listening after the fifth. Yikes.
People also sell the bugs that reptiles like to eat. Five-year-old Mr. D and I were looking into a container that had several geckos and Mr. D said, “Look, there’s a beetle.” And then a gecko noticed. It’s tongue was so fast that it was barely perceptible. It clearly enjoyed a crunchy snack.
Which led me to the story about seeing a display with 10 gerbils for sale. There was only one left and I was unclear about whether people were buying them to be pets or…? Eric’s response, “Can you imagine the level of stress for a gerbil at a snake show?”
On the way out, my kids nearly fell over when we came across some axolotls (see featured photo). These are the Mexican salamanders that are like the pickleball of elementary school kids. In the last few years, it seems like the increase in axolotl merch has been meteoric – stuffies, backpacks, keychains, and more. Eric confessed that until he saw our picture, he wasn’t sure that axolotls were real.
I’ll spare you the stories of the snake throwing up and the snake pooping. Suffice it to say, my kids had a great time at the reptile show. And I got some pretty good stories out of it – because Eric asked for the details.
It makes me wonder if an element of creativity…and life… is having people around us interested in asking. Last question from Eric was, “Did you check your car for snakes when you got home? No? That’s okay – you can just sell it.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain
I’ve become entranced with a word lately: inkling.
Inkling according to Merriam-Webster is a slight knowledge or vague notion. It comes from Middle English yngkiling meaning “whisper or mention.”
When I think of the inklings I’ve gotten, they relate to the niggling feeling that something is off. I’ve had inklings about big events like when my business partner told me of my ex-husband’s infidelities and right before I was laid off. Kinda like a surprise party when everyone stops talking to you in advance.
And I get inklings about little things like when one of my kids is about to catch a cold. Something isn’t quite right about how they react or eat food and it sets off the radar.
For me, inklings are closely related to the internal God whispers, those insistent notions that seem Divinely inspired. On a recent morning when I meditated, I had the urgent sense that I needed to reach out to our dear blogging friend, Julia Preston.
Later that day, I discovered that she’d passed away the night before at the age of 85. She hadn’t blogged much after her cancer diagnosis but she’s been present in emails and comments in the last few months.
After I published one of my favorite posts about the words I become entranced with, My Love Affair with Words, Julia jokingly asked what word I associated with her. I had no hesitation before responding “luminescent.” Julia glowed with love and light for all. She faced her diagnosis with that same delightful curiosity about what comes next.
Her last blog post hinted about the light and love we all can (and should) tap into. Julia left us with the question in When We Gonna: “When are we gonna turn the world around with the power of our thoughts? When are we gonna create light instead of dark and love instead of fear?“
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
The other day I was switching over my company’s domain from another provider to WordPress. My hand hovered over the “Submit” button as I went through my mental check list one more time.
No matter how many times I do these things, they give me pause. But I was emboldened by a recent podcast conversation Vicki and I had with long-time blogger, Mark Petruska about embracing tech and non-tech change. Isn’t it amazing how knowing you are in good company helps? It certainly is one of the great benefits I get from doing these podcasts.
Vicki Atkinson and I loved this conversation with Mark. It’s his 15th year blogging on WordPress. And he blogged on a different platform before that. Clearly, he’s a pro.
So he walks us through the many things that he’s done to keep things fresh over the years. Switching themes, changing site names, even combining two blogs and changing URLs.
His advice as a veteran? Know the purpose of your blog and keep it in mind as you redesign.
Mark tells us about December snow and, for us relatively new people to WordPress, it’s some cool history.
One of the takeaways that I love from this conversation is that Mark talks about site design as a creative act in and of itself. So if we are ever stuck in a writing rut, it’s one idea to get us out!
This is a really encouraging episode that on the surface is about the considerations behind designing a good site and all that goes in to a WordPress blog. But really it’s also about knowing your purpose and embracing change in any area. Mark’s long experience is both illuminating and emboldening.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – not only in our words but also in our site designs.
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier
My utilitarian corkscrew gave out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It raised one arm on a broken gear and announced that it had served with honor and now was done.
Which left me with the corkscrew I bought from the J. Peterman catalog more than 20 years ago. Do you remember that catalog? I used to keep it on my desk for when I needed a creative break – or just to dream a little. I loved the little micro stories so much that I felt guilty putting it in the recycling bin, even if I had a new version in hand.
For anyone that isn’t familiar, here’s a sample description from their website. The Howdaseat is a folding chair:
Howdaseat.
This wonderful contraption is only for people over 40, or under.
Made of basswood slats and tough, natural canvas duck, its only role in life is to support your back properly.
The way it holds you is like a hug, and like all hugs, it will make you feel good. If your back hasn’t felt good for the last 19 years, this thing will make you feel very, very good. And surprised it took so long.
Roll it up and carry it under your arm. Room to room. House to car to office. For reading, driving, concerts; and staring across the pond at that stand of maples there and marveling at how really well designed the human back is, after all. Made in USA.
I bought several things from that catalog back in the day. The funny thing was that the things, once in hand, never lived up to their marketing. The words, the stories, the mystique stayed with the stories and not with the object itself.
Which I remembered once again as I wrestled with the J. Peterman corkscrew this past weekend. It reminded me of the magic of stories. And that when it comes to marketing, finding things that are undersold and overdelivered is better. May we remember both things this holiday season.
“You can’t think yourself out of a writing block; you have to write yourself out of a thinking block.” – John Rogers
One of the things that I love about talking with authors, bloggers, and writers is that there is a consistent thread of writing as a way to process life. To be intentional, to be mindful, to find patterns. From Dr. Stein (Dr. Gerald Stein blog) who creates helpful and rich life lessons from his years of as a psychologist to David (Pinwheel in a Hurricane blog) who says writing is a way for his swirly bits to land, it’s easy to see the depth that comes with writing it down.
In this wonderful episode, Lauren tells us the beautiful story about how she started a poetry blog 14 years ago. In the process, she cultivated the roots she’d planted as a young girl for poetry as a destination for her emotions.
Vicki and I ask how she took the step from her blog to publishing books. Lauren tells us the themes of each of her FOUR published books. She weaves the theme of love through all of them, even the most serious, just the way love carries us through life.
And she gives us a sneak peek into the children’s book that is about to hit the press. She authored it with her nephew as illustrator.
This podcast is like a master class on the growth mindset. Those are my words, not Lauren’s because she is wonderfully humble and real. Which makes it even more powerful and inspiring to hear Lauren tell about her writer’s journey – all the things she’s overcome and been willing to try – and how that feeds into fantastic ideas for new projects.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling and writing it down.
We know you’ll love it!
Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 92: Baydreamer – Author Lauren Scott
“The discipline of creation, be it to paint, compose, write, is an effort towards wholeness.” – Madeleine L’Engle
I’m always surprised by how much discipline there is in creativity. I say that with a wink because my personal expectation is that 2,000+posts into this blogging journey, I would have thought this would be easier. I have found so many benefits for the act of writing — from helping me understand my journey to this great blogging community, it’s easy for me to think that these things should write themselves.
I’ll have an idea bouncing around my head or my heart and it goes nowhere until I put my derriere in the chair. Even when I have my fingers on the keyboard, I need to discipline my inner editor to take a back seat so I can get the first draft written.
Which is a great lead in to the podcast conversation Vicki Atkinson and I had this week with author, blogger, and corporate communications specialist, Brian Hannon about National Novel Writing Month.
Brian tells us why he values the encouragement and accountability piece of NaNoWriMo.
He spills a little bit about the project he has in mind and the goals he’s setting for the month.
Brian is such a great writer, with roots as a newspaper writer and corporate communications specialist. So we get to see into the dichotomy of the flexibility in writing Brian has so beautifully explored in posts this week contrasted with the structure necessary to produce a novel.
It’s fun to hear how he makes time to write, especially as he gears up for NaNoWriMo.
Brian also turns the tables on Vicki and me and gets us to reveal a bit of the bigger projects we are working on. We get to collectively talk about the wonderful goal of producing “wholehearted writing” in whatever medium we choose.
I’m confident you’ll love the scenic and beautiful places we explore as we share the power of storytelling – in podcasts, in posts, and in novels.
We know you’ll love it!
Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to it from your computer on Anchor: Episode 91: NaNoWriMo with Brian Hannon
Surprised By Joy 