Category: humor

Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold: Medium Water

Posted in humorTagged , , , 94 Comments

“Use your passion to create a job.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

Recently, six-year-old Mr. D announced to his sister and me that he wanted to open a shop. After confessing that he didn’t know what he wanted to sell, we started brainstorming ideas based on his skills and interests.

Ten-year-old Miss O came up with the winning product: medium water. Mr. D’s recent foray into learning how to cook has led him to a new recipe that he calls medium water. He boils water for hot drinks and then adds ice so it isn’t too hot.

He sometimes asks people who come over if they’d like medium water. Funny that it usually takes some explanation what it is.

But I think with enough passion, he can pitch this idea. How about these taglines?

  • Mr. D’s Tepid Tea: All the enjoyment, none of the risk.
  • Mr. D’s Just Right Café: Why wait to sip your favorite beverage?
  • Mr. D’s Medium Water: Order a tall or a short, and get it medium

In Seattle, land of the coffee shops, where the weather is usually not too hot or not too cold, it actually might fly! Or perhaps the response might be lukewarm. If he ever does it, I’ll let you know.

(featured photo is mine of a past lemonade stand)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

The Long Joke

Posted in humorTagged , , , 76 Comments

“Your attitude is either the lock or the key to the door of success.” – Dennis Waitley

The lead up to this joke happened 13 months ago. I know because I blogged about it on Sharing the Heart of the Matter. Here’s the setup:

“This past weekend we were packing up to leave the vacation place we stayed at for two weeks. My nine-year-old daughter, Miss O, was helping my friend, Eric, put the rubber raft away. He’d purchased the raft for this trip so he had the original box.

After deflating it, they rolled it up and then Eric said to Miss O, “It’s never going to fit back in that box.”

And Miss O retorted, “Not with that attitude. Let’s be like Mommy and at least give it a try.”

And when I asked if it fit, she replied, “It would have but when he thought I wasn’t looking, he went and put the pump into the box first.”

She recounted this story to me at bedtime the night before we left. Eric must have heard her voice (and my laughter) float down from the bedroom. When I came down after closing the door he laughingly said, “For the record, it was never going to fit back into the box.”“

We mostly forgot about the raft until a couple of weeks ago when my kids and I went looking for sports equipment at Goodwill. My kids have never met a sport they didn’t like, or so it seems. My compromise with them is to buy used sports equipment. And we’ve found some great stuff there.

Like on this last visit, when tucked under a washtub for pets and an old lawn mower we found the exact same raft that Eric had. Miss O was so excited and said, “text a picture of it to Eric.”

.

Eric’s response, “They must have had a great attitude.”

I’m still laughing. Wishing you all a great week and a fantastic attitude. 🙂

(featured photo is Eric’s markup on the original box)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast about collaboration – sharing leads to success.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

Marketing, For What It’s Worth

Posted in humorTagged , , , , , 70 Comments

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier

My utilitarian corkscrew gave out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It raised one arm on a broken gear and announced that it had served with honor and now was done.

Which left me with the corkscrew I bought from the J. Peterman catalog more than 20 years ago. Do you remember that catalog? I used to keep it on my desk for when I needed a creative break – or just to dream a little. I loved the little micro stories so much that I felt guilty putting it in the recycling bin, even if I had a new version in hand.

For anyone that isn’t familiar, here’s a sample description from their website. The Howdaseat is a folding chair:

Howdaseat.

This wonderful contraption is only for people over 40, or under.

Made of basswood slats and tough, natural canvas duck, its only role in life is to support your back properly.

The way it holds you is like a hug, and like all hugs, it will make you feel good. If your back hasn’t felt good for the last 19 years, this thing will make you feel very, very good. And surprised it took so long.

Roll it up and carry it under your arm. Room to room. House to car to office. For reading, driving, concerts; and staring across the pond at that stand of maples there and marveling at how really well designed the human back is, after all. Made in USA.

I bought several things from that catalog back in the day. The funny thing was that the things, once in hand, never lived up to their marketing. The words, the stories, the mystique stayed with the stories and not with the object itself.

Which I remembered once again as I wrestled with the J. Peterman corkscrew this past weekend. It reminded me of the magic of stories. And that when it comes to marketing, finding things that are undersold and overdelivered is better. May we remember both things this holiday season.

(featured photo from Pexels)

Sunday Funnies: February 4th – The Last One

Posted in humorTagged , 48 Comments

The last installment from my dad’s humor cards so this ends the re-run of my dad’s humor cards. Thank you all for laughing alongside me – whether for the first time or the second time for many of you!

They made me chuckle all over again – so I hoped you enjoy them whether it was first time or second, or both (first posted on 1/8/2023).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Life Summed Up

At Presbytery yesterday, one of my colleagues passed along this definition of the eight decades of man:

Spills, Drills, Thrills, Bills, Frills, Ills, Pills and Wills.

(Parables, etc. Vol. 3, #3, May 1983)

___________________________________________________

And that is the very last card in the stack. Somehow it seems so fitting because it reminds me that there is an end to everything. And we get to sum it up in whatever way we want. It might not always rhyme or be prettily tied up on a bow – but we will all leave something behind. Hopefully, like was true with my wonderful father, it’s a lot of laughter, inspiration, and the memory of a life well-lived.

I’d define his life and decades as this: Good-willed, eloquently quilled and peace, joy and love filled.

Sunday Funnies: Jan 28

Posted in humorTagged 12 Comments

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 1/1/2023).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

New Beginnings

The young preacher had just announced to his congregation that he was requesting the dissolution of the pastoral relationship in order to accept another call. he was standing at the door after the service and greeting people, as preachers are wont to do, when one of the elderly saints approached him, her eyes swimming with tears.

She sobbed, “Oh pastor, I’m so sorry you’ve decided to leave, things will never be the same again.”

The young man was flattered by was equal to the situation and took her hands in his and most benevolently replied, “Bless you, dear lady, but I’m sure that God will send you a new pastor even better than I.”

She choked back a sob and was heard to say, “That’s what they all say, but they keep getting worse and worse.”

(Parables, etc. Vol. 3 #3, May 1983)

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope your new beginnings get better and better!

Sunday Funnies: January 21

Posted in humorTagged , 15 Comments

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 12/25/2022).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Inside Work

Marjorie Camper and her six-year-old son were working in the garden one spring day. Mrs. Camper was absorbed in her work while the little boy explored the miracle of growing things exploding everywhere. All at once, he picked a daffodil bud, sat down on the ground and studied it.

Then with his two little hands he tried to force it open into full blossom. Frustrated, her cried out, “Mommy, why is it that when I try to open the bud, it just falls to pieces and dies? How does God open it into a beautiful flower?”

And before his mother could give an answer, he made his own “A-ha!” discovery and said, “Oh, I know! God always works from the inside.”

from Don Maddox, Covenant United Presbyterian, Corona, CA

Sunday Funnies: January 14

Posted in humorTagged , 16 Comments

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 12/18/2022).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Signs That You’re Over the Hill

<continued from last week>

You look both ways before crossing a room

You keep repeating yourself.

You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

You realize a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

Many of your co-workers were born in the same year that you got your last promotion.

The clothes that you’ve put away until they come back in style – come back in style.

All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.

You keep repeating yourself.

You find this list tasteless and insensitive.

Sunday Funnies: January 7th

Posted in humorTagged , 25 Comments

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 12/11/2022).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Signs That You’re Over the Hill

You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

You keep repeating yourself.

You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing, “Kumbaya.”

You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

Your insurance company has started sending you their free calendar – a month at a time.

You keep repeating yourself.

At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”

It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

You begin every other sentence with “Nowadays…”

You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

You keep repeating yourself.

Wish Granted

Posted in humorTagged , , , , 53 Comments

“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.” – Mark Twain

There’s a funny thing about setting intentions, isn’t there? It’s like wishing for a butterfly to land on your finger so you put yourself outside and sit still enough for it to happen. But the next part is the crucial step. Will a butterfly land? Maybe it’ll be a ladybug? Or, yikes, it’s a mosquito. And then the magic comes in whether we are open to any of the above being an answer to the wish.

I had a list of five simple things that I wished for on Christmas day. At least one belly laugh that, in the best case, makes it so you can’t breathe for a split second was one of them.

On Christmas morning, my family came over to open presents with the kids. My mom, brother, sister-in-law, and two friends that are family by choice were sitting in the living room with the kids when I went into the hallway to get a bag for the debris. I heard my 84-year-old mom say, “I’m a non-violent person but I thought this gift looked fun.”

With my curiosity piqued, I popped back in to see four-year-old Mr. D opening the present in question. It was a hat, something like a shower cap, with Velcro on it, and three soft balls. The idea is for one person to wear the hat while other people throw balls at their head.

The laughter and jokes came fast and furious.

“Oh great, Nana,” my friend, Eric said, “teach the little ones to throw balls at people’s heads.”

“Imagine the team of game designers for this product,” my brother said. “The glee they must have had realizing they had a wide-open market for toys that we throw at people’s heads.”

At this point we were all laughing, but especially my mom who was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks.

“Oh look,” my sister-in-law observed, “they mark each area of the head with points. You get 100 if you get one front and center and only 50 if you tag the side.”

My family isn’t immune to the angst that comes with holidays. We don’t all see things the same. And when my dad died suddenly, it created more division. My sister, who is a litigator, sued my brother for a million dollars. They settled but my sister remains largely estranged.

That’s just some of the family wounds we carry and the holes we feel at the holidays. But for that moment, we were right where we belonged. We were howling by the time we finished with unwrapping (and dissecting) this first gift.

Wish fulfilled.

[No children or adults were harmed in the making of this post.]

(featured photo from Pexels)

Sunday Funnies: Dec 31st

Posted in humorTagged , 13 Comments

A re-run of my dad’s humor cards. They make me chuckle all over again – so I hope you enjoy them whether it’s the first time or second (first posted on 12/4/2022).

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories he heard, found or saw and then typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

Persistence

A duck enters a bar and asks for duck food. The bartender says, “We don’t have any and we don’t serve ducks, now get out of here!”

The next day the ducks returns and asks for duck food. The bartender replies hotly, “I told you ‘no.’ Now get out and if you come back I’ll nail those web feet to the floor.”

The following day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender answers, “No.” Then the duck asks, “Then do you have any duck food?”