Talking About Precious Things

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“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve have just met.” – Jim Henson

I overhead a tender conversation between my 7-year-old son, Mr. D. and his 7-year-old classmate and friend, M. M came over for a couple of playdates.

Playdate 1:

M as he holds up Bun Bun, Mr. D’s most prized stuffy. Bun Bun doesn’t go anywhere with Mr. D anymore but he sleeps with him most nights: “What’s this?“

Mr. D: “That’s Bun Bun.“

M: “Okay but what is he?”

Mr. D hunts around for the words for his most valued companion that makes him feel safe and centered. Then he finally comes out with, “He’s my stuffie. Like you know…“

Playdate 2 a week later:

M holds up Bun Bun: “Did you bring Bun Bun to show to the class for the five things about you?“

Mr. D: “No“

M: “Why not? Is he just….just too precious?“

Mr. D: “I guess.“

There’s a palpable difference in my son’s ability to find words for things that are close to the heart versus my daughter. She’s always been quick to disclose anything while he quietly struggles to find the right words.

So my hat is off to Mr. D’s friend for his willingness to try to figure out what’s precious. It’s the important work of how to be vulnerable friends. The timing is tricky, sometimes the words don’t quite come out right, but I think the curiosity to know what makes each other tick is some of the glue that keeps us close.

(photos are mine of Miss O and Mr. D at about age 8 and 4)

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36 thoughts on “Talking About Precious Things”

  2. This also gives me a glimpse into your heart Wynne, Just the fact you’re tuned in enough to hear and appreciate these tender conversations tells me you’re not the typical harried parent just trying to keep their head above water.

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  6. This touched my heart so deeply, Wynne! The question ‘Is he just… too precious?’ is such a profound piece of emotional intuition coming from a 7-year-old. Children have such a quiet, natural way of holding space for one another. I completely echoed Darlene’s comment on how much we adults can learn from that innate empathy! As DM so beautifully pointed out, being present and tuned in enough to capture these delicate moments says so much about the warm environment you’ve created. Such a sweet reminder of what real friendship looks like!

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  7. I love these tender moments between friends. Boys generally are less expressive than girls and it’s great Mr D has a friend in M to try to bring out that side in him. 💕 And he also has you and Ms O are valuable role models!

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  10. Vulnerable, trusted friends are our most precious friends. Add in a mother whose parenting skills encourage such friendships, and their children will enjoy lifetime friendships. Kudos Wynne.

    Keep Looking Up ^ … His Best is Yet to Come!

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  11. My brother’s favorite stuffed animal growing up was this gray rat he named Buffy Mousey. Funny how I so clearly remember this! I had a raccoon named Bandit, so clearly, we can see who the cooler of the Petruska siblings was (and still is, no offense, Scott).

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  12. Your post about their conversation is precious. One of my close friends sewed a bright red and blue flannel quilt for my son when he was born. That was his “stuffie.” He was like Linus with it. He named it “Ahh.” I asked him why. He said, “Because you put your face in it and say Ahh.”

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  15. Haha. My son (now 33) used to have a Bun Bun too. My grandson’s crib is loaded with everything imaginable. Oh, there’s plenty of stuffed animals, but he likes dragging just about any kind of play thing with him. We just returned and I enjoyed watching him on the baby monitor talking to everything.

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  18. What a great picture. And what a sweet post. Kids sometimes have to hear someone else give voice to an idea before they can incorporate it into their vocabulary. Love it.

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