Fun Is a Practice, Not a Reward

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“If you’re not having fun, you’re not learning. There’s a pleasure in finding things out.” – Richard Feynman

What if fun isn’t a reward for getting everything done—but a skill that helps us live better right now?

Recently as I was driving ten-year-old Miss O to a rehearsal for a musical, she said, “I always have fun at rehearsals.” Six-year-old Mr. D had a similar answer as I was bringing him home from baseball practice the other night. I asked what he liked best – the base running practice, the scrimmage, the throwing contest? His answer was, “I like all of it.“

What kids know and grown-ups seem to forget (speaking for myself) is that fun is a day-to-day practice, not a reward only to be savored when we get everything else done. Fortunately, my guest for The Life of Try podcast this week, Mike Rucker, PhD, reminded me that parents have some agency in this too. We aren’t just Uber drivers getting our kids to the places they need to go. And that prompted me to put on my mitt and take part of the scrimmage at Mr. D’s baseball practice. The ball didn’t come to me but I enjoyed standing in the field and being part of the fun immensely for a couple of innings.

In this episode of Life of Try, I talk with Mike Rucker, PhD author of The Fun Habit, about the science-backed value of fun and why it matters for stress relief, resilience, creativity, relationships, and well-being. We discuss positive psychology, the “sandwich generation,” burnout, parenting, savoring joyful moments, and how to create simple systems that bring more play, rest, and connection into daily life.

Here are some of my favorite takeaways from this great book and fantastic, science-backed conversation about fun:

  • Fun is not frivolous — it’s restorative.
    Being intentional about fun can help reduce burnout, restore energy, and bring more meaning into everyday life.
  • Happiness and fun are not the same thing.
    As Mike says, “Happiness is a state of mind, but fun is something we can do.”
  • Agency matters.
    When we feel like we have a say in how we spend our time and energy, life becomes more enjoyable and sustainable.
  • Small “pattern interrupts” can change everything.
    Breaking our routines in creative ways can open up more space for joy, connection, and better habits.
  • Fun looks different for everyone.
    It doesn’t have to be loud, social, or high-energy. Fun can be calm, quiet, and personal.
  • Burnout narrows our thinking.
    When we’re depleted, we tend to rely on autopilot. Renewal helps us think more creatively, flexibly, and expansively.
  • Enjoyment is a powerful predictor of sticking with a habit.
    If you want to build sustainable habits, choose approaches you genuinely like—not just ones you think you “should” do.
  • You don’t need a total life overhaul.
    Reclaiming fun can start with just a few intentional hours, a simple list, or one activity that brings you back to yourself.
  • The “Fun File” is a practical tool.
    Keeping a running list of activities that genuinely light you up can make it easier to choose joy on purpose.
  • Making life better doesn’t always mean adding more.
    Sometimes it means removing, reframing, outsourcing, or rethinking routines that quietly drain you.

Here is a clip of one of Mike’s eye-opening points – that having fun is an upward spiral that creates more capacity for challenge and growth:

This conversation is for anyone looking for better work-life balance, more joy, and practical strategies for living with greater intention.

Here are some other ways you can listen and watch this great episode:

Encouraging Effort, Not Outcome: The Secret to Helping People Keep Trying – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

What does real support actually look like—especially when someone is struggling, failing, or figuring things out?In this episode of The Life of Try, Wynne Leon explores how to support others without adding pressure, and why focusing on effort instead of outcome can make all the difference.Whether you’re a parent, coach, friend, or teammate, it’s easy to unintentionally turn encouragement into expectations. But research—and stories from figures like John Wooden and Carol Dweck—show that when we shift our focus to effort, persistence, and growth, we help people stay in the process longer and build real resilience.This episode dives into: → Why it’s often harder to watch someone try than to try ourselves → How subtle signals can create pressure without us realizing it → The difference between encouragement and expectation → How to support kids, friends, and colleagues in a way that builds confidence and persistence → Practical ways to reinforce effort, not just resultsIf you’ve ever wondered how to truly support someone you care about—especially when things aren’t going well—this episode offers a powerful reframe.Because sometimes the best support isn’t helping someone succeed……it’s helping them keep going.🌍 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more:Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on:personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.📌 Subscribe & Stay UpdatedABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ The Courage to Try Something New: Lindsey Goldstein on Growth, Failure and Reinvention➡️ How to Reclaim Fun in Adult Life | Mike Rucker, PhD, on Joy, Burnout and the Fun Habit🔗 CONNECT WITH ME:• Website:→ https://wynneleon.com/• Instagram:→ https://www.instagram.com/wynneleon/• Facebook:→ https://www.facebook.com/wynne.leon/ • Amazon: → https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B002IKWX14
  1. Encouraging Effort, Not Outcome: The Secret to Helping People Keep Trying
  2. How to Celebrate the Try
  3. How to Reclaim Fun in Adult Life; Michael Rucker, PhD on Joy, Burnout, and The Fun Habit
  4. Reinvention, Resilience and The Courage to Try| Lindsey Goldstein on Gap Year
  5. 51: Letting Go of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving

Links for this episode:

How to Reclaim Fun in Adult Life | Mike Rucker, PhD on Joy, Burnout and the Fun Habit transcript

The Fun Habit on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Mike Rucker, PhD’s website

Michael Rucker, Ph.D. on LinkedIn

(featured photo from Pexels)

54 thoughts on “Fun Is a Practice, Not a Reward”

  2. This was such a refreshing reminder that joy was never meant to be postponed until life becomes less busy. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is intentionally make room for the simple moments that restore the soul.

    Liked by 3 people

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    2. Yes! This! Finding fun and joy in small things each day is key. Making time for ourselves is vital.

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. I see that Mike’s wall behind him contains the bus to fun, happiness and joy. No wonder he was able to write the book! I am also impressed that you have a baseball mitt, Wynne. No wonder you were able to jump right into your son’s practice!

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Oh, I’m so glad to hear it, Brad. This podcast and his book were so inspiring to me. He really made me think about where I can incorporate fun every day. It doesn’t have to be high energy or even take a lot of time but just being intentional. Hope you enjoy it too!

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. this is a great message and i so agree about the need for fun in our lives, it has incredible rewards on so many levels – good for you other there with mitt, ready for anything –

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Honestly, I feel like Mike validated my life approach, Wynne. 😊 I pretty much am always making room for fun – maybe too much sometimes! My sister and I felt our dad’s desire for fun. I married someone who was fun (and very funny.) I can be serious, of course, but I am not “serious” by nature. I had some serious relatives though, it felt awkward as a child, maybe that helped push me towards the life is too short model. I don’t know. You know what though? I think I’m going to ask my grown son if he remembers his parents inserting fun into daily life, if it made him happy. I’d like his perspective. Anyway, today, riding my bike lights me up; with music in my ears, and sometimes with beautiful scenery. And hopping on a cruise ship lights me up too. Maybe it’s all about exploring.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I see the fun in you, Melanie!! Yes to all that lights you up. And also to your approach of “why not try?” like with your newspaper column idea. And I love that your husband is fun too! Thank you for validating this approach.

      There’s a great chapter on making parenting more fun in Mike’s book. Your son might appreciate that at this stage in life! And I’ll be so curious to find out what he does remember about the fun in his childhood!

      Thanks for tuning in, Melanie!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Wow! You remember the newspaper column idea. That was a while ago. Thank you for that. And thanks for the suggestion for Will – it’s his first Father’s Day; I’ll have to investigate Mike’s book as a gift. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  10. What a great message! Fun is not frivolous — it’s restorative. It’s so easy to get caught up in the minutia and forget the importance of slowing down, laughing, and enjoying ourselves. Thanks, Mike and Wynne, for the timely reminder! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. even thought I haven’t read this book yet, from this post I had a great overview. Starting from the title and the takeaways I think it’s very engaging. And the author is absolutely right!

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. “Fun is finding enjoyment in what you do.” What a profound statement, Wynne, and a fun conversation about fun.

    I often say that if we have fun doing what we do, then it’s never a chore, an assignment, a task or a job. It’s just fun – and a blessing to find that alignment.

    Love the advice around trying to create variety in our schedules so we can encode memories in what we like and break the habituated routine. This is why sometimes life feels like it’s flying by, because it all feels like routine. I can see that in how you sprinkle the unexpected moments and weekend activities with your children.

    Social contagion is also a fascinating insight – on how we try to numb the feelings of unease rather than face them. And that those whose fun cups are full can truly start to experience growth. I sure wanna hop into an upward spiral – as well have a babysitter to do bath time… and homework… and park time… and everything for me. 🤣😊

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Oh, I’m laughing, Ab! Wasn’t that fascinating how they solved the bathtime dilemma? Wish I would have heard that 6 years ago. And it’s fascinating all the things that keep us from solving those problems.

      Your takeaways are so good as always – like catching Mike’s point about expanding time using variety. Isn’t that a good point. And the way we numb our unease. I loved doing this podcast (and reading his book) because he had so many good ideas and for all areas of life.

      Thanks for listening, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

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  16. A long one, my friend, but it was excellent. I just finished listening to the podcast and I really enjoyed it. I think what he said about creating space for doing things outside of what is dutiful is so important. Of course, this applies to other areas aside from work. Talking about work, I was laughing at the “Fun lunch at work is actually work” discussion. So true, and I wish bosses would stop doing that. Well done, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thanks for listening – it was a long one. As I edited it, I strove to shave it down but I just liked all Mike’s info so much! I really appreciate you tuning in.

      I’m laughing about the “fun lunch at work.” So true!!

      I loved Mike’s invitation to think creatively about routines we are stuck in. Your comment about “creating space” is so good. Right!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. You’re so welcome. For that kind of discussion, the length was spot on. I know some people’s attention spans are short, but mine is pretty good, so I enjoyed the episode. Again, well done, my friend.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. A great post, Wynne, and so many important messages, but I love this one:

    You don’t need a total life overhaul. Fun doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It’s about baby steps.

    And thanks for the introduction to Mike too. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. What a wonderful interview and message. Fun has always been something I think will happen once I’ve finished all the important work. Thanks for the ‘permission’ and the encouragement to have fun because it’s healthy and restorative. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. I think my fun is always calm and quiet in nature, and sometimes with animals. I have fun with family members, too. I like this line, Wynne, and it’s a lovely podcast.

    Liked by 1 person

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  22. It’s true for me that adding more doesn’t make life better. I think I have spoiled meals by adding that little bit of spice that no longer enhanced it, it just confused the taste.

    Having fun is important but kids show us that fun is easy. It’s running around a table and singing out loud. It’s swinging in the playground, it’s knocking over lego and watching it crash.

    Keep it simple and being there is the most important part of memories, not the menu or toys.

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  23. So encouraging! Thank you, Wynne. I need to think about this more. Sometimes I think I don’t really know how to have fun. It feels like a very important issue right now, definitely one worth exploring.

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  24. I loved this one, Wynne! I think people crave fun in our frenetic society. One of my most popular blog posts ever is one I wrote about 25 ways to have fun at work.

    I really enjoyed the take on how society makes fun performative. We had a conversation with Colleen while we were visiting. She said if you’re not travelling or doing fun stuff all the time, people thing you’re boring. She’s very much a introvert and enjoys doing puzzles, knitting, and more solitary activities.

    Thanks for this.

    Liked by 1 person

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