How to Share the Next Generation

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“Things are always in transition. Nothing ever sums itself up the way we dream about.” – Pema Chodron

I had this quirky social anxiety when I started the fertility process to have my kids via in vitro fertilization (IVF). It seems so silly now. But at the time I kept thinking that because I was in the process of trying to have kids as a single parent that everyone would know that I was the one who wanted kids. Yep, that was going to be obvious. 🙂

It’s hard to say why that seemed important to me at the time – there is lot to unpack when it comes to family and gender expectations. And perhaps parents who get pregnant the traditional way have the same feeling of vulnerability. It’s hard to know because often family planning is done behind closed doors.

It’s one of the many reasons that I love Mari Sarkisian Wyatt’s book, Saving the Fourth Generation and our conversation on the How To Share podcast. She magically, with self-awareness and dark humor, puts words to the complexity of the IVF process and what it’s like to have goals and obsessions for which it’s worth suffering the ups and downs, grief and miracles.

Mari and I talk about the different types of goals we have as we go through life and her Armenian grandmother’s wisdom about what it takes to make them happen.

There’s so much legacy in Mari’s story because her quest is in many ways a response to the shattering trauma that came from both of her grandparents’ families being decimated in the Armenian massacre of 1915.

We talk about Mari’s way forward as the sole child of her generation to have kids. She tells us how she navigated both the price and process of IVF. Her story is heartbreaking, miraculous and completely gripping.

We talk about her advocacy for her autistic son and how writing about her IVF process, 20 years after the fact provided some healing and delight in the miracle of family.

Mari’s story involves a lawsuit so in accordance with the settlement she’s not on screen for this episode. Nonetheless, Mari is entrancing as she shares the power of her journey and the warmth of her voice.

I know you’ll love it.

Takeaways

  • This is the story of what women and their partners are willing to go through to have babies by IVF at the turn of the 21st century.
  • Mari’s quest quickly became an obsession and she notes obsessions can hurt the people you love.
  • Mari says if you just keep working toward your goal one step at a time, you might just succeed. Hopefully your family will forgive you.
  • Writing this book nearly 25 years after her IVF journey has been healing for Mari and her family.
  • The message is about resilience, personal growth, and the beauty of ordinary days.

Here’s a clip from Mari talking about her incredible book, Saving the Fourth Generation:

Here are some ways you can watch this amazing and thoughtful episode:

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

In this episode of The Life of Try, host Wynne Leon talks with Wall Street Journal bestselling author Barbara Nickless about her new psychological suspense novel, A Voice in the Dark. Their conversation moves from the dark corners of online gaming and internet manipulation to the real-world vulnerabilities of teenagers, families, and people searching for belonging. Barbara shares how deep research, FBI consultants, and her own curiosity shape her fiction, especially as she writes about FBI profiler Helen Belle, criminal humanist Benedict Hoffman, addiction, trauma, and the question of what draws people toward danger.This thoughtful author interview explores how storytelling can help us understand complicated human experiences, including moral injury, PTSD, addiction, grief, law enforcement, cybercrime, and the healing power of writing. Barbara also reflects on teaching writing to military veterans and civilians, researching dangerous places and difficult subjects, and using narrative to “de-other” people we might otherwise misunderstand. Key Takeaways:→A Voice in the Dark explores the dangers young people can face in online communities, especially when vulnerable teens and young adults are targeted by manipulative influencers.→Storytelling can help us “de-other” people by taking us inside their motivations, histories, and struggles in ways that facts and news stories alone often cannot.→Curiosity is at the heart of Barbara Nickless’s writing process. Her research into online gaming, FBI investigations, addiction, trauma, and moral injury helps make her fiction vivid, compassionate, and grounded in real human experience.→Researching modern crime fiction requires balancing accuracy with readability, particularly when writing about cybercrime, AI, online manipulation, and evolving law enforcement tools.→The conversation highlights a core Life of Try theme: trying begins with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to enter unfamiliar worlds in order to understand ourselves and one another more deeply.If you love conversations about books, personal growth, curiosity, crime fiction, psychological thrillers, resilience, and what it means to keep trying, this episode offers a rich and compassionate look at the stories that help us make sense of ourselves and one another.📘 Order A Voice In the Dark: https://www.amazon.com/Voice-Benedict-Hoffman-Helen-Belle-ebook/dp/B0FTGGHSWL/🌐 Show notes and more inspiration: https://wynneleon.com🔔 Subscribe for more: Subscribe to The Life of Try for more conversations on: personal growth, creativity, reinvention, resilience, writing, and mindset.ABOUT MEHi, I’m Wynne Leon — host of The Life of Try, a personal growth and self-improvement podcast exploring resilience, reinvention, uncertainty, and the courage to keep trying.Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real-life stories, I share insights to help you navigate change, get unstuck, and move forward with more intention.🌍 Website: https://wynneleon.com🎥 Watch Next➡️ Letting Go Of Outcomes: The Mindset That Keeps You Moving➡️ 48: How to Get Unstuck: Michael Yang on Saying Yes, Resilience and Coming Alive➡️ How to Finally Write That Book You've Been Dreaming About | Writing Motivation
  1. Barbara Nickless on A Voice In The Dark, Online Gaming and The Power of Story
  2. Embracing What Makes You Different | Kym Gordon Moore
  3. Motive + Means = Opportunity: A Life of Try Story
  4. How Writing Helps Us Survive Chronic Illness and Loss
  5. Near Death, Deep Faith, New Life | Liza Anderson’s Extraordinary Story

Links for this post:

How to Share the Next Generation transcript

Saving the Fourth Generation from Delphinium Press and on Barnes & Noble and Amazon

(featured photo from Pexels)

42 thoughts on “How to Share the Next Generation”

  1. I admire everyone who has made their own choice and their own way to create a family, one of my own daughters went through through this process as well, with a mix of heartbreak and miracle and I look forward to hearing this brave conversation, between the two of you.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thank you for this compelling conversation, Wynne and Mari. Wynne, no doubt, you saw parallels between your and Mari’s stories. I’ve been following another IVF journey, on Erin’s blog, and it takes so much courage, perseverance and faith to go through this difficult journey and my heart goes out to everyone on this journey. Mari’s is one of resilience and loss – and other challenges, such as raising an eldest son with autism at a time when support services are so limited! – and I’m glad she found healing through writing her book – and in turning, helping others find their strength. 💕🙏

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I would add one point. The treatment of Armenians in the World War I era is considered a genocide committed by the Ottoman Empire, now Turkey. Over 30 countries affirm that the genocide occurred. Turkey does not.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a beautiful conversation. I especially love, love, love that Mari hired neighborhood kids be play with her son! I am likely on the spectrum and had a hard time making friends as a child, so that story absolutely lit me up. What a gift is it that Mari’s kids have such a loving and supportive mom-and not just that, but a parent who understands HOW they need support. Amazing conversation. Thank you Mari and Wynne! 🩷

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was going to comment that I follow another blogger who is undergoing her own IVF journey, but there she is in your comments. I have a lot of respect for women who are going through the process.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve never read a book about IVF, and I think it would be fascinating. Thank goodness this option is available for those who want a child. I especially appreciate Mari’s willingness to share the unintended consequences, something we can all relate to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unintended consequences — you’re right – that hits us all in the things we pursue, doesn’t it? It was fascinating to read Mari’s journey because when I tried IVF, it was 30 years old. Mari had done it 15 years before me and the differences in the science were fascinating! Thank you, Pete!!

      Liked by 1 person

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  17. I think although there’s a lot of judgement especially towards women when it comes to kids and the way they choose to have them, going through the IVF process as a single parent just shows that you truly wanted these kids and that they would be so loved.

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