“Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.” – Roger Caras
It’s our day to go pick up our new puppy. I’ve found myself feeling tight and nervous, unable to plan out all the things of how this will play out with a puppy and two kids in the mix. So, I’ve indulged my brain by writing out two lists: my fears and my gratitude.
Here are the things I’m afraid of:
I won’t have time to pay attention to my kids
The puppy will be a distraction from my work
That this will be my undoing when I finally find that I’ve pushed it too far and I end up exhausted
That we collectively won’t be good puppy trainers and dog owners
That the puppy will find a box of crayons and a box of Cheez-Its, eat both, and leave rainbow throw up all over the house.
That Mr. D will be displaced as the baby of the family and won’t get some focus, not yet identified, that he needs
That I’ll have to get better at asking for help.
Or that I’ll have to let something else that I personally love go in order to support this bigger collective
I fear Mr. D’s beloved stuffy, Bun Bun, will be torn to shreds.
I won’t be able to train the puppy to understand my morning sacred time
What I’m grateful for:
That we have so much love to give
That the default for my little family is to be willing to try
The excitement that comes with new family members
That my faith and my heart tell me we are ready for this, even when my head forgets.
For the ability of puppies and dogs to love, listen, and lean in.
That I’ve worked out many of my problems in life while walking my dogs.
For the melting way that puppies and dogs look at their owners to show loyalty and trust
That my kids will get to experience that from a young age
The way that dogs can lighten up almost any situation with a wag, a toot, or a yowl.
That my kids will get to experience what a loyal friend is as they maneuver through their own growing friendships.
That being a head of family has taught me that I don’t have to figure out all the details, just set people in the right direction
That tears, anger, and exhaustion lead to opportunities for repair.
That typing out this list has made me feel better.
As I put these down on paper, I find the gratitude is far more substantial on the scale of importance. Funny how big my fear feels until I actually write it down and find it’s really just uncertainty. But I have to give it its moment in the sun, as I did here, in order to fully let it go.
Post-script: I wrote this post before we went to pick up the puppy, Cooper. Then on the way home, Miss O had Cooper in a box on her lap. She was explaining the world to him – this is a car, that is a phone, and overhead we see an airplane. And then I heard her say, “And you are something called my best friend.” I’d already dispelled most of my fears by writing out my gratitude. Whatever remained was blown away by that.
For something almost as sweet and fun as that last comment, check out the latest Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast with the amazing writer and blogger, Cheryl Oreglia: Episode 30: True Grit with Cheryl Oreglio or search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon Music, PocketCasts or Spotify.
