How to Share Feedback

“Some of the best advice I’ve been given: ‘Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.‘” – Morgan Freeman

My dad used the Oreo method when he delivered feedback. It was fitting because he loved Oreos. Perhaps that’s what made him so good at layering in the salty truth between delicious goodness.

He’d start with what was working, add in feedback about what could be better, and then finish it off with a compelling overall vision or motivation. It sounds straightforward when laid out as a formula but as anyone who’s eaten fake Oreos knows, it has to be authentic to work. And the recipient needs to at least be a little hungry for it.

Feedback is tricky, isn’t it? It’s often necessary for us to fuel personal and creative growth, especially with writing, and we sometimes don’t want to hear it. That’s why I love this How to Share podcast episode with Dr. Vicki Atkinson because she is such a pro at both giving and receiving feedback.

Vicki tells us about her project in the works, a novel that builds on her fascinating and intriguing family history. She has done the hard work to not only to write but also to seek out and incorporate feedback. She tells us what she learned from her doctoral dissertation about separating the ego from the work and how that is an essential part of being able to really take in someone else’s input.

We talk about asking the right questions when someone solicits our feedback and also being specific when we want input. And Vicki shows us what having a growth mindset looks like when it comes to incorporating comments.

Vicki walks us through the discernment necessary to pick out what is helpful when it comes to feedback and gives us permission to disregard what doesn’t fit.

This is a great conversation about this tricky subject and Vicki’s wisdom shines brightly through. I know you’ll love it.

Takeaways

  • Feedback is a tricky subject that requires discernment.
  • Separating ego from work is essential for growth.
  • Asking the right questions can lead to more useful feedback.
  • Timing and context matter when giving feedback.
  • Not all feedback is created equal; choose your sources wisely.
  • It’s important to let your work develop before seeking feedback.
  • You can choose which feedback to integrate into your work.

Here’s a great clip of how Vicki practices the art of letting go of the ego:

Here are some ways you can watch this inspiring and helpful episode:

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Who's In Your Corner? The 5 People Who Shape Who You Are – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

Who’s in your corner? Discover the five people who shape who you are and how the right support system helps you take bold tries, chase big goals, and grow.Neuroscientist David Eagleman suggests we’re shaped by the people we spend the most time with.In this episode of Life of Try, Wynne Leon shares stories from climbing Mt. Rainier, mentors who cheer from the sidelines, and hiking with her kids to reveal the five people everyone needs:The Yes’ers who turn crazy ideas into plans. The Guides who share their notes. The Counterpoint who gives you the gift of a pause. The Foundation who shows up when things fall apart. The Visionaries who remind you that you can do great things.This week’s challenge:Name your five, thank one of them, and be that person for someone else. Because you were never meant to try alone.For a companion listen, check out The Power of Saying Yes with Natasha Dillinger.Follow Life of Try on Spotify and tap the bell so you never miss the next try. Topics:personal growth, motivation, friendship, mentorship, courage, support systems, and adventure.
  1. Who's In Your Corner? The 5 People Who Shape Who You Are
  2. The Arrival Fallacy: Finding Your Way After a Big Goal
  3. Melissa Arnot Reid on Enough: Why No Summit Can Prove Your Worth
  4. Unleash Your Humanity: Courage, Resilience & Purpose with Yasmine Sherif
  5. Stop Hustling For Your Worth: A Better Way to Grow

Links for this episode:

How to Share Feedback transcript

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels)