feedback – Surprised By Joy

“Some of the best advice I’ve been given: ‘Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.‘” – Morgan Freeman

My dad used the Oreo method when he delivered feedback. It was fitting because he loved Oreos. Perhaps that’s what made him so good at layering in the salty truth between delicious goodness.

He’d start with what was working, add in feedback about what could be better, and then finish it off with a compelling overall vision or motivation. It sounds straightforward when laid out as a formula but as anyone who’s eaten fake Oreos knows, it has to be authentic to work. And the recipient needs to at least be a little hungry for it.

Feedback is tricky, isn’t it? It’s often necessary for us to fuel personal and creative growth, especially with writing, and we sometimes don’t want to hear it. That’s why I love this How to Share podcast episode with Dr. Vicki Atkinson because she is such a pro at both giving and receiving feedback.

Vicki tells us about her project in the works, a novel that builds on her fascinating and intriguing family history. She has done the hard work to not only to write but also to seek out and incorporate feedback. She tells us what she learned from her doctoral dissertation about separating the ego from the work and how that is an essential part of being able to really take in someone else’s input.

We talk about asking the right questions when someone solicits our feedback and also being specific when we want input. And Vicki shows us what having a growth mindset looks like when it comes to incorporating comments.

Vicki walks us through the discernment necessary to pick out what is helpful when it comes to feedback and gives us permission to disregard what doesn’t fit.

This is a great conversation about this tricky subject and Vicki’s wisdom shines brightly through. I know you’ll love it.

Takeaways

Feedback is a tricky subject that requires discernment.
Separating ego from work is essential for growth.
Asking the right questions can lead to more useful feedback.
Timing and context matter when giving feedback.
Not all feedback is created equal; choose your sources wisely.
It’s important to let your work develop before seeking feedback.
You can choose which feedback to integrate into your work.

Here’s a great clip of how Vicki practices the art of letting go of the ego:

Here are some ways you can watch this inspiring and helpful episode:

The podcast player embedded below
Click this link to watch in a browser: How to Share Feedback with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
Subscribe to How To Share on Spotify, Amazon Music, or Apple Podcasts
Subscribing to the YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@howtosharepodcast

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

49: Personal Growth Pivot Points: Pause, Quit or Keep Going? – The Life of Try: Personal growth, one try at a time.

How do you know when to stop trying—especially when you’re someone who prides yourself on perseverance? In this episode of The Life of Try, Wynne Leon explores the moments when quitting isn’t failure, but wisdom: when our efforts are overly controlled, when something deep inside says “it’s time,” or when passion turns obsessive and starts costing more than it gives. Along the way, she draws lessons from Marion Jones, Olympic figure skater Alysa Liu, Oprah Winfrey, and Andre Agassi, plus insights on harmoniousvs. obsessive passion.If you’re wrestling with whether to push through or letgo, this conversation offers language, perspective, and permission to choose what’s healthy—and what’s next.The Life of Try podcast: Personal growth, one try at a time.What happens when trying becomes more important thangetting it right?The Life of Try is a personal growth and self‑help podcast about getting unstuck, navigating uncertainty, and choosing to try—even when it’s uncomfortable, inconvenient, or not your idea.Hosted by Wynne Leon, the show explores how real growth, reinvention, and discovery often begin not with confidence or clarity—but with a single attempt. Through thoughtful interviews, reflective conversations, and real‑world case studies, each episode examines what it looks like to keep going when doubt shows up, plans fall apart, or life forces a change you didn’t ask for.This podcast is for anyone who:Feels stuck or uncertain about what’s nextIs navigating change, burnout, or reinventionWants to live intentionally without pretending growth is easyBelieves progress starts by trying – again and againThe Life of Try isn’t about hustle or perfection. It’s about learning as you go, surfacing what matters, and sharing what you discover along the way.If you’re ready to surf the uncertainty, outlast the doubts, and step into your own try‑cycle, you’re in the right place.Links for this episode:The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life: Mike Rucker, PhDOpen: An Autobiography by Andre AgassiMarion Jones Reflects on Her Kids Living with 'Reality' of Her Doping ScandalFrom Oakland to Olympic gold: Alysa Liu takes figure skating crownAlysa Liu's Olympic figure skating comeback is golden, true to herselfHow Alysa Liu Found Her Love for Figure Skating AgainWinfrey Announces Show's End in 2011 – CBS News

Links for this episode:

How to Share Feedback transcript

Vicki’s book about resilience and love: Surviving Sue; Blog: https://victoriaponders.com/

My book about my beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo from Pexels)