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Sunday Funnies: May 15

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Another installment from my dad’s humor cards.

The backstory: My dad was a Presbyterian pastor for 40 years. He kept a well curated stack of humor cards – little stories or observations that he typed onto 5×7 cards. Then he wrote in the margins when he used that particular item. His humor was often an easy way to settle in to something deeper – by laughing and thinking about the buried truth in these little nuggets, it paved the way to an open heart.

When we cleaned out his desk after he died 7 years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble on this stack. I pull it out regularly to have a little laugh with my dear Dad. Now when I post one of them, I write my note next to his and it feels like a continuation.

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a terrible experience.”

Dear Mom, Part 2

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“Motherhood is the great mesh in which all human relations are entangled, in which lurk our most elemental assumptions about love and power.” – Adrienne Rich

Today is my grandmother’s birthday and even though she’s been gone for 22 years, I still mark this day in celebration of a confident woman who led a purposeful life even with a limited education.  So it seems like a perfect opportunity to post the results of the contributions you all made about what we learned from mothers.

I have broken the contributions into sections but left them as they were written – because they are all written by talented writers who say it best in their own words. I’ve linked to each person’s blog to provide ready access to more of that amazing writing by each of these authors.

Skills/Practical Advice

There were many interesting skills and practical advice taught by mothers:

  • TamaraKulish: Even though I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mother, I’m still grateful for her example of a strong woman who taught her son and daughter how to take care of themselves. We both learned not only how to cook, clean, and do laundry, but we both learned how to use hand and power tools to make minor repairs around the house. We learned a strong work ethic and the value of completing tasks properly!
  • MSW Blog: My mom has taught me so many things, but the one that got me through my years of academia was,” Always keep an emergency $20 bill in your, wallet it will get you through more jams than you can imagine.” She was of course correct as I was able to replace stockings, late night snacks, cover taxi fare, study supplies etc.
  • Rebecca Cuningham: My mom taught me women can do anything and everything; play sports, wield a hammer for Habitat, teach math…
  • Swinged Cat: My mom taught me that Sauvignon blanc wines from the Marlborough region of New Zealand are far superior.

The last being from the always funny Mark Petruska might be tongue in cheek but I don’t know.

By Example

And there were a lot of suggestions of things taught by example:

  • Ashley Peterson: I’m grateful that my mom instilled a love a reading in me.
  • Jane Fritz: All that having been said, my mother (1917-1974) was a remarkable, strong woman. Although in a very strong and mutually supportive marriage in a different time, when many considered the man to be the provider, by example the importance for a woman to have a career of her own. She taught me by example the importance of lifelong learning, of being informed, and of having the confidence to use her voice. And, along with many other things, she gave me a lifelong love of music and books. I have missed her every day for nearly 50 years now.
  • Finding Grace: When I think about what my mom taught me, some of it was overt and purposeful, but some of it was through example… it was just part of who she was. My mom taught me to give compliments freely (she would always compliment people, even random strangers), she taught me that learning to love began with learning to love myself, she taught me to set boundaries with others, she taught me that family and connection is everything, she modeled for me how to be strong in the face of adversity, and she taught me a love of growing things (people, pets, flowers, etc.). My mom was good at meeting a person where they were. She was supportive and encouraging, without being overbearing. Oh, and she also taught us to own up to our mistakes head on. She was all about integrity.
  • Julia Preston: I was raised in the “Children are to be seen and not heard” era. While she did not easily fit into the warm and fuzzy category, my mother was an outstanding role model. Her love was expressed by example rather than hugs. We never knew until we were adults that she detested vegetables, which she faithfully ate every night of our youth to set a good example. She passed away at 101, by which time, hugs became a part of our daily lives. I miss her every day.

And of course, love…

And there was a strong theme of love to the contributions including:

  • DutchIl: my Mom taught me to follow my heart and my dreams and be me… 
  • Hart Inspiratons: My mom taught me many things, and did me many things for me (for which I am grateful), but her primary lesson was to love myself. I’ve been processing that one my whole life. 

For our children

And finally in the category of motherly advice to give to children, there was this wonderful contribution from MSW Blog:

  • MSW Blog: The advice I would pass on to my children is listen. truly listen to what a person is saying, as it will allow you to not only communicate more clearly but obtain a clearer picture of the whole person.

And for interesting and thought-provoking reading, which is what Jane Fritz always provides along with some humor, Jane wrote a wonderful post on her Robby Robin’s blog entitled Mother’s Day: appreciation but no glorification please!

The Hot Goddess published a great post about lessons both good and bad that she learned from her mom and as befitting her gifted and entertaining blog, it is well-worth reading.

(featured photo from Pexels)

The Sleepover Test

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“If you are walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” – Barack Obama

When I had a dog, one of my goals was to make him an easy dog for someone else to take care of. It was a practical limit on how much I spoiled him because boy, did I spoil him! But he had to be trained so that if he was inside a house, he didn’t destroy things that weren’t his toys and his routine was simple enough (2 meals, 2 walks) that it wasn’t unreasonable to ask someone else to do. Outside of that, I thought it was fine to let him go everywhere with me, rub his belly and sing to him and say our prayers together at the end of the day with a kiss goodnight but those were extras.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I packed a suitcase so that my 6-year-old could sleep over at her aunt and uncle’s house. It’s only been a handful of times that she’s been away from me for a night and it’s been a long time – maybe a year or 18 months?

But as I got her ready, I was pleasantly surprised that I every confidence that she could go spend one night away and be okay getting herself ready, going to bed, and paying attention to what they told her to do. In fact, I had no written instructions to go with her at all. At one point I thought to text her aunt what time she went to bed but my daughter had already told her.

This seems like a parenting milestone I feel proud to reach. Like with my dog, I’ve raised a human being to a level that another person could reasonably care for. Yay!

Of course, I packed the suitcase mostly with stuffed animals, it’s good she’s only gone overnight because she might not eat anything that they serve and it’s only this stress free with about 3 people in this world. But hey, she’s only 6-years-old so I have more time to work on the rest 😉

Postscript: In contrast to the other day where I had high expectations that my son and I were going to have a great time alone and all he did was miss her — this time I had low expectations because I feared all he was going to do was miss her. And he only asked about her once and had a BALL being the center of attention. 🙂

Thanksgiving

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“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

Last year my daughter and I painted a little wooden box with the word “grateful” on top. I set it on a shelf in our family room and we created a ritual of writing down what we are thankful for on a particular day. And sometimes my son comes along, pulls out the drawer and dumps all the little pink slips onto the floor. Which creates a whole other practice of counting the things we are grateful for. 🙂

But I love Thanksgiving for the practice of making me think about what all those daily gratitudes amount to in the big picture.

I am thankful for my divorce. It brought me to a complete halt. But sometimes there is no way to go a different direction unless you stop going the previous direction.

I am thankful for that insistent whisper that I had to talk to my dad about his life and faith. But for that, I would have never broached the subject that opened us up to so many dear and delightful conversations because I was afraid that my views, my meditation practice and my faith were too different.

I am thankful for the gut wrenching desire to have a family even as an unmarried woman in her late 40’s. There was nothing in my previous life that would have marked me as a go-it-on-your-own person before that overwhelming guidance made it impossible to ignore.

I am thankful to the deep need to share with others that has led me to write. The daily practice of blogging has created a depth, thoughtfulness and perspective in me that has enriched my life. It has also enabled me to meet and read so many delightful and wise people whose paths I wouldn’t have crossed otherwise.

I am thankful that all of these things have come together in a way with my faith in God so that I KNOW this is my life to lead. On the many days that I’m so incredibly tired, I am just tired, not resentful because this is my path.

I’m grateful that my list of people, events and things to be thankful for is long and getting longer. I’ve known times in my life when it was getting shorter. It has made me appreciate the many blessings and the beauty of this world with deeply.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

What Made Me Laugh This Week: Nov. 7

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I was asking my 6-year-old daughter what was on her Christmas wish list. She pondered it a moment and said, “A watch, Rubik’s cube and… anything unicorn.”

I can’t even begin to enumerate all the unicorn things we already have – books, pj’s, coats, blankets, stuffies, robes, slippers, night lights, pencil sharpeners, water bottles and on and on.

You know what? Unicorns are real. Even if we haven’t seen one, their marketing department is alive and well.

(photo from Pexels)

Photo of the Week: November 6th

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The sky was so magnificently red as I was pulling out to drive the kids to school that I turned in the opposite direction with a car full of kids saying, “Maa-maa?” and “Where are we going?” I drove up a few blocks to my favorite spot in our neighborhood to watch God’s master class in color selection and beauty and the kids said, “Wowww!” Then we proceeded to school and weren’t even late.

What Made Me Laugh This Week: October 31st

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I went big for Saturday morning breakfast. I was making fresh blueberry pancakes with the biggest blueberries I’d ever seen. Full of weekend morning energy, I had the batter made, the blueberries washed, and was emptying the dishwasher while heating up the pan for my first batch.

Meanwhile, my toddler was playing with a remote control car as he waited for breakfast. I pulled the warmed maple syrup from the microwave and poured my first batch of batter into the pan. I was delivering the syrup to the table when my son asked for help with the remote control car that was spinning out of control.

As I reached for the car, I tipped the syrup beaker and poured it on the floor. Then I lost hold of the spinning car and it dropped into the syrup and started spinning in it. I went to cover my mouth, probably an instinct to make sure a swear word didn’t come out, and got syrup all over my face.

It was big…a big mess. But I finally got the car and the beaker of syrup corralled into the sink, cleaned up the floor, then wiped my face AND didn’t burn the pancakes! Then I laughed about my perfect storm all day long. 🙂 🙂 🙂