“There is no better test of a man’s integrity than his behavior when he is wrong.” – Marvin Williams
About 10 days ago I was making breakfast for my family on a calm Saturday morning. The news was on in the background and Donald Trump was responding to the Supreme Court ruling about tariffs.
He started, “I am ashamed…”
And then ended the sentence, “…that a couple of members of the Supreme Court don’t have the courage….”
I don’t recall saying anything. But the next thing I knew my 10-year-old daughter, Miss O, was standing on the couch with a pretend microphone in her hand offering an alternate response.
“I apologize. It was my fault. How can I fix it?”
Miss O is not an expert in the workings of the three branches of the US government. But she does possess the emotional intelligence to know that people should take responsibility for their decisions and actions.
I suspect this US presidency resonates in a unique way for those of us who’ve had significant entanglements with a narcissist.
- The chaos.
- The willingness to say anything, believable or not, in order to shift the conversation.
- The loyalty tests.
- The genuine belief that they should not be held to the same standard of behavior as normal people.
- The constant need for more recognition and validation.
Being around people who make up their own rules and then blame others when they lose is exhausting. Even 10-year-olds know better.
When I had a business partner who was a narcissist, I was forced to learn the difference between what I can control and what I can’t. The wisdom of Prentis Hemphill helped me cope, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
Not only did I gain a lot of clarity about boundaries, but I also developed a deep appreciation for the people in my life who are trustworthy enough to hold close. I came through that period with a huge amount of gratitude for when life is calm.
There are enough tariffs being levied these days. So I try to remember not to let narcissists tax my energy more than necessary.
(featured photo from Pexels)
You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon
Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast where guests share what they’ve lived and learned!
Surprised By Joy 
Oh Wynne, I just love everything you say in your valuable message. The importance of being able to “trust” – there is no point without trust is there?
All out of the mouths of babes too – well said Miss O.
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Miss O is very wise. 🥰
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Very informed girl that Miss O 🙂
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Miss O for Congress!
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Add my vote for Miss O! 👏🏻👏🏻🥰🥰 And this is exactly why I’m puzzled about how he got to be president, twice?.? Even children can see he’s not mature, responsible, reasonable enough….
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Miss O will win lots of votes. Get reading, Wynne!
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Miss O is a smart cookie !
She will go far Wynne 🤗
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There are more than a few people who could learn a thing or two fromt his 10-year-old!
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Miss O feels this and understands and has learned from the amazing adults around her. Thank you for sharing this, it gives us all hope for our future and for our leaders yet to come, of which she is sure to be one in some form.
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Miss O has more wisdom than every member of the current administration combined.
I love your final paragraph, Wynne!
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Miss O has a bright future ahead of here. So much wisdom and grace. 🥰
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Just gotta say, y’all are doing a magnificent job raising your children.
These days. I make a point not to have the news on in the background. When I’m prepared to stomach the news, I seek it out by catching the headlines from the most neutral source I can find. If I’m prepared to stomach more than that, I allow myself to click on and read an actual article for the details… only if I’m fully mentally prepared.
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Wonderful wisdom from both of you Wynne. Kudos for raising your kids so well.
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Miss O is of course spot on. It’s great that she’s articulated the principle of taking personal responsibility for words and actions so clearly. The trouble is that when high profile people refuse to take responsibility or deflect responsibility, then many see that as the norm, or permission to make it their norm. It’s an important lesson that we must continue to affirm to ourselves and each other.
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