How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends

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“A little consideration, a little thought to others, makes all the difference.” – Eeyore

About three weeks ago, I opened my laptop to start working and clicked on a Facebook message. A friend that I’d known from Miss O’s pre-school days had died. I burst into tears. It couldn’t be. She’s ten years younger than I am, her youngest child is only 11 years old. She loved being a mom more than anything and I couldn’t believe that she wouldn’t be there to see her beloved kids grow up.

And moreover, because I’d seen the posts where she’d had a car accident about nine months previous and then complications had kept coming up, I was bereft because I hadn’t done anything but post a couple of comments. She wasn’t someone I was particularly close to, but I had so much respect and adoration for her.

It hit me especially hard because I was also in the middle of reading Amy Weinland Daughter’s book, Dear Dana. Dear Dana, is a beautiful chronicle of a letter writing campaign – and a thoughtful reflection of how social media does and does not work for us when it comes to real relationships.

On the latest episode of the How to Share podcast, I was lucky enough to be able to talk with Amy about Dear Dana and the incredible insights she gleaned. Amy tells us how her project got started when she saw on Facebook that her friend from summer camp 30 years before had a son who was sick and needed prayers. Amy starting writing them letters.

She explains how this effort blossomed into a project to write each one of her 580 Facebook friends a letter. We talk about the level of effort involved in writing that many letters and how it was transformative for her.

Amy shares some of the research around the benefits of writing and we talk about the insights of what she learned about the benefits and limitations of social media in the process of her project. One of my favorite a-has is that we can use social as a jumping off points for real relationships because we lose the richness if there is no investment in relationships.

We talk about God-whispers and how listening to them can help us participate in making this world a better place. Amy’s perspective is so real and inspirational that I know it’ll leave you feeling motivated.

This is an incredible episode with a powerful story and loads of magic. I know you’ll love it.

Takeaways

  • The most changed participant in the writing process is often the writer themselves.
  • Writing doesn’t require formal skills or extensive practice.
  • A simple act of writing can have a significant emotional impact.
  • All you need is a postage stamp and a human heart to express yourself.
  • The power of writing has always been within us, waiting to be discovered.
  • Engaging in writing can lead to personal growth and transformation.
  • You don’t need to write hundreds of letters to make a difference.
  • The act of writing can break down barriers to communication.
  • Everyone has the potential to express themselves meaningfully.

Here’s an incredible clip from Amy reminding us that it’s never too late to care:

Here are some ways you can watch this amazing and inspiring episode:

Please listen, watch, provide feedback and subscribe.

How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater – How To Share

In this enlightening conversation, Gil Gillenwater is with host Wynne Leon and shares his experiences and insights from over 35 years of philanthropic work along the US-Mexico border. He discusses his book, 'Hope on the Border,' which highlights the transformative power of education and community service. Gil emphasizes the importance of enlightened self-interest over traditional charity, advocating for a model that empowers individuals and fosters dignity. He explores the duality of poverty, the need for sustainable opportunities, and the joy found in serving others, ultimately presenting a vision for a more connected and compassionate world.TakeawaysEducation is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty.Enlightened self-interest can lead to personal and communal growth.Charity should not be viewed as a sacrifice but as a mutual benefit.Volunteering provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment.Welfare can disempower individuals and communities.Community service fosters connections and shared humanity.The disparity in wealth is a significant issue that needs addressing.Experiencing poverty firsthand can change perspectives.Creating opportunities in one's home country can reduce migration.The joy of service is a pathway to personal happiness.Links for this episode:How to Share homeHope on the Border at AmazonGil's organization: Rancho FelizGil Gillenwater on FacebookWynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith; Blog: https://wynneleon.com/; Substack: https://wynneleon930758.substack.com/
  1. How to Share Our Luck with Gil Gillenwater
  2. How to Share 1970's Chicago with Doug. E. Jones
  3. How to Share Feedback with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
  4. How to Share the Next Generation with Mari Sarkisian Wyatt
  5. How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends with Amy Weinland Daughters

Links for this post:

How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends transcript

Dear Dana on Barnes & Noble and Amazon

Amy’s website

(featured photo from Pexels)

75 thoughts on “How to Share Impactfully with Social Media Friends”

  1. I can resonate with all the takeaways you’ve mentioned, Wynne. I write to express myself or share my joy. I don’t even have formal education about writing, but I enjoyed doing it. And the feedback is fun. This is an amazing topic to discuss.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and the feelings with not being more in close touch with people. I really look forward to listening to this, because I have never stopped sending handwritten letters and handmade cards, it’s something I love to do, and I can’t wait to hear your discussion with Amy.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m very sorry for your loss, Wynne. Seeing these notice on social media is always so jarring and reminds us of the fragility of life.

    I really appreciated this conversation with Amy. What a beautiful person and such an unexpected journey that started as a friendship with summer camp. Dana’s hardship with the loss of her son really tugged my heart. And it’s truly a God whisper that this led into an unexpected journey for Amy in Dana’s darkest hour.

    This is how we truly yield the power of social media – to connect, reach out and brighten people’s lives. I’m so inspired and touched. Happy Wednesday!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Love, love, love this comment, Ab. Yes, this is how we truly yield the power of social media. You said it perfectly! I think Amy is a marvel! Thank you for tuning in and sharing your thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh I can’t wait to listen Wynne. “The most changed participant in the writing process is often the writer themselves.” Such a simple but profound statement. This hits me so often. And your thoughts on your departed friend hit home too. Sorry for your loss. I find that those out of the blue losses especially hit home.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. This is a wonderful post. I lost a friend last year and only found out a month after it happened when her son contacted me through FB. I had horrid feelings of guilt and shoulda, coulda, wouldas but then reminded myself that friendship goes both ways. She never, EVER, reached out and barely responded when I did. Still.

    My condolences on the loss of your friend. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    I love Amy’s idea of writing letters to her FB friends. My question is, how did she get all the addresses? There are many that I have no clue where they live 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, I’m sorry for the loss of your friend, Dale! You’re right it’s a two-way street. It’s just interesting to think about what would happen if I made the effort to reach out to people when I think of them.

      What an insightful question about the addresses. Amy would look people up in order to find content for her letters because her goal was two pages minimum. Sometimes she’d find the address – other times she’d have to reach out on FB Messenger to ask.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “And then she died.” Your words, Wynne. Condolences on your loss.

    To me, the essential action is to face our mortality. Without that, the idea of writing or calling a friend we have not seen or spoken with is likely to fail as an effective, and lasting motivation.

    Every one of us will die. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself every day of his own mortality. That reminder will change your life.

    Having discovered and heard of too many deaths, I tell myself there is no time to lose.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. As always, your wisdom is appreciated, Dr. Stein. Especially your note that facing mortality gives us lasting motivation for efforts like Amy’s to reach out. Thank you!

      Like

  7. Wynne, I am so sorry for your loss and all the heavy feelings that have come with it.

    The letter-writing campaign sounds just lovely, and I love the idea of using social media as a jumping off point for real relationships. Maybe we need to facilitate a WordPress letter exchange. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooohh, that’s a great idea, Erin! I love it! I also think that by the regular exchange of comments on each other’s posts that we generate a lot more connection than on other forms of social media. Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for the introduction to Amy and her book, Wynne! I loved your point about the power of connections – seeing them when we step away. All those beautiful intersecting points between humans. Often undetected unless we focus…just as Amy did in such a cool way. And I loved Amy’s message about the power of writing longhand…emotional clarity. Yes, yes. This I believe. I’m smiling. Loved her admission that the person most changed by letter writing was herself – not the recipients. Oh my. I can see that.
    ❤️😊❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As always, you pull all the important threads. Yes, so much writing for wellness in Amy’s remarks, isn’t there? And all those intersecting points? Beautiful! Thank you so much for being a powerful part of my connective network, my dear friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I am so sorry for your loss Wynne.
    I feel that, although social media and everything web connected has its place, the human touch is sorely lacking.
    Writing letters is a brilliant idea.
    So much more thoughtful than a few emoji’s!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, the human touch is sorely lacking. I agree with that, Maggie. I think that on WP with the regular exchange of comments on each other’s posts that we generate a lot more connection than on other forms of social media. But still – the letter writing is a brilliant idea. Thank you so much for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Wynne, our next-door neighbor’s husband passed away last week after an illness, and we both had moments of regret why we were not in closer communication with both of them during our lengthy time at our current residence. We all always stopped and talked to each other, but we never “elevated” the relationship with the couple. We failed to communicate how very much we’ve appreciated their being our neighbors, failed to have a more meaningful connection. I still enjoy Christmas Cards, so letter writing is absolutely something that makes sense to me. When you write a letter these days, you’re really making an effort to connect in my mind. And as for our surviving neighbor, it is indeed never too late to care.😇

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss, Bruce. You are making me think of my delightful neighbors that I need to do a better job of connecting with. And yes to Christmas cards. I try to write a personal note on every one. Sometimes this means I don’t get them done until July but I’m with you – it is an effort and a delight! Thanks for the great comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. What a project she took on writing all her FB friends letters. Our neighbor passed away recently from an aggressive brain cancer. He asked me to look after his wife. He was so selfless and more concerned about her than himself. A group of women in the neighborhood are now looking out for her.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it’s nice that people are willing to help her. She’s spent the last nine months in isolation with her husband. We are taking her out to lunch, and I need to give her a call today to talk and see if she needs anything.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Let me start off with I am so sorry for your friend how heartbreaking this is my heart goes out to her family tonight I will say a prayer for her littleones tonight .This is beautiful okay everything you share is beautiful but this I can relate to. I love to write am I good at it? No but it helps me in so many ways I can free my thoughts , can share something that was so precious to me , and so on when I was a child I loved to write letters and loved when it put a smile on someone’s face when they received it this makes me want to write more letters now that I seen this . Thank you ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the prayers. I truly believe that they matter. I love that you love to write letters. What an incredible practice to show people you care. Thank you for this lovely comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I am finding it hard to deal with the many people who are younger than me who have passed away recently – especially when they have little ones. I will certainly keep them in my prayers.

    Social media has really caused many (including myself) to stop writing letters. Perhaps it is because we often post things on there and assume that all of our friends see it? Maybe it is just because we are so shortsighted now. In other words, we have a string of little posts with something that happened, where as with letter writing we would often have many things to relay in the letter (all of those items in the little posts perhaps).

    I truly miss writing letters and receiving them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Keith! I hear you about deaths for those that are younger and have kids hitting hard. Same for me too.

      I love your reflections about social media and writing letters. They really are a gift. It was so fun to talk with Amy and read her book and have that fire rekindled in me!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. This is crazy good, Wynne. Listening to Amy share how one choice led to the next and the next until she was suddenly writing every single FB friend and launching herself in an incredible new direction – her life’s work. I love how she realized that these friends have all showed up for a reason in her world, past or present, and that’s it’s her responsibility to follow-up with them. If ever there was an example of “listening to that voice”, this is it. Amy’s story is the epitome of taking that leap of faith; an unlikely leap which fulfills some unknown need she almost didn’t understand, but did it anyway. And voila. Suddenly, her life’s path has lights on each side of it, like a runway. It’s a crazy idea that worked beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, yes, yes!! You said it perfectly – a crazy idea that worked beautifully. I love Amy’s story – it’s so fascinating and inspiring to see how she followed the dots. And who doesn’t love getting a letter? Kinda like getting a great comment from you, Melanie! Thanks for tuning in!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Just yesterday, a Facebook memory popped up with a comment from a friend/coworker who died in 2017 at the much-too-young age of 48. This sent me down a rabbit hole; I went to her Facebook page and started scrolling through the last eight years. Sigh. She never knew it was coming, was in fact poised to earn a B.A. from Clark College the following summer. Life can be unbelievably tragic, but at least we have the memories to remind us of how much those people meant to us.

    Sorry, didn’t meant to leave such a downer of a comment.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I actually know a bunch of people who died super young like that. Some of their FB pages are still active, others are deleted. I like being able to go back and revisit their lives.

        Like

  18. Thanks for sharing this, Wynne!🌸

    Facebook is probably where I connect with people the most. Sometimes I’ll scroll by a post and think, “Do I really want to speak?”, and I hear, “Just drop a heart.” As Amy said, what we write doesn’t have to be pages long. It’s us acknowledging another person’s existence that matters most. Looking forward to watching this conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. What a powerful video clip, my friend. I’ll definitely listen to the podcast tomorrow. I’m so sorry for your loss. Knowing the person, following her condition after the accident, and then seeing the news of her death is devastating, especially knowing there will be children growing up without a mother. A real tragedy.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. As a letter-writer and card-sender who always feels awkward about it because sometimes my love for people feels bigger than the little words I send, this is a perfect interview! I know how much I appreciate receiving mail, just knowing someone cared enough to do all the work required to get it to me, makes me feel so grateful and loved.
    I love this from Amy in the interview, ” And the best part was, I didn’t know how she voted. I didn’t know what she believes specifically. She asked her prayers, so I knew she believed in God, but I didn’t know if she was a Methodist or if she was. I didn’t care. And I didn’t care how she stood on any issue. I just knew I cared about her”… I just knew I cared about her! Such a powerful statement!💖
    And this Wynne, “The key is to not to stop listening to the little voices in our heads, to continue to press on boldly in those ways that feel completely right, regardless of lack of feedback. Maybe changing the world is all about not expecting to, but never, ever giving up.” 💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I just got chills seeing those things you highlighted because those are the ones that spoke to me too. Isn’t that amazing? I love that you are a letter writer/card sender — I’m not surprised. Amy does such a good job of both acknowledging and facing the vulnerability that comes with sending mail! Thank you so much for tuning in!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. What a wonderful episode this was. Such a heartwarming story and a powerful reminder of the impact a simple act can have on someone else. I started a handwritten note project at the beginning of this year, but it got sidetracked because of the Canada Post strike. Maybe I need to pick it up again.

    We need to resolve to use social media for what it was intended for instead of the cesspit of garbage it has turned into thanks to the money-grabbing oligarchs running the show.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Sorry for losing a friend. Even if we haven’t been in touch for a while it can still grab our hearts. Facing mortality is challenging at times.

    I used to be a paper letter writer, then I switched to email letters, then to texting. I found I liked the immediacy of the digital version but I miss the feeling of quiet whether sitting down to write a paper letter, but I get easily distracted from the task!

    Liked by 1 person

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