Loving and Learning

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“Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.” – Kevin Kruse

I was chatting with another parent at a party the other night. Let’s call her Casey, because, well, that’s her name. Casey was telling me about spending the night prior sleeping on the floor next to their new puppy’s crate. Since I was fresh off of sleeping on the couch for my puppy when he was getting adjusted, I was nodding along.

Then Casey said that a friend of hers told her she had made a mistake by getting a puppy. The opinion was logical: she laid out all the plans Casey had said she wanted to do like rebuilding her acupuncture practice in a new location and thought the puppy was not conducive to Casey’s goals.

Hmm, is love ever directly conducive to our goals?

Perhaps when it is the goal itself but from my experience, love is the big disruptor that often interrupts our progress on the things we can measure.

I’m thinking of this past weekend when my four-year-old son wanted to sit on my lap as I was writing a post so I switched to typing one-handed.

Or the time 20 years ago when I screwed up a work presentation because my new love wanted to spend time and so I forgot to practice.

And the swollen eyes I had for weeks after I had to say goodbye to my last dog, making it nearly impossible to concentrate or pull myself together.

And yet:

My four-year-old, Mr. D, has been bounding out of bed in the morning to say “hi” to the puppy. I find him with his arm around the dog or the cat as he tries to broker peace for his new best friend. And having a puppy has also made him more organized to keep track of his Bun Bun stuffy so that it stays out of the dog’s sharp teeth.

My eight-year-old daughter, Miss O, has a new way to make friends. We stood outside the school gate this afternoon letting kid after kid pet the puppy while she proudly showed them how she’s trained him to sit. And the puppy is also making her grow up because she’s having to find her inner discipline in order to deliver clear commands to him.

I feel the rumbling at my feet of puppy snores as I type this and feel less alone. I’m also feeling the exhaustion that comes with the extra discernment, communication, and enthusiasm I’m expending to train my kids to train the puppy.

We’re loving and learning. I’m not sure there is anything more conducive to my parenting goals than that. I’ve lost sleep for far less worthy reasons!

What do you think is worth losing sleep for?

64 thoughts on “Loving and Learning”

  1. Awww! Look at that widdle puppy face! So cute! Yes losing sleep because a loved one needs us is part of a life well lo ed and lived.

    Yesterday I gave up my zoom language class because of a family issue that came up at exactly that time where I was needed on the phone. I could have put them off saying that I had a class, but they needed me in that moment, so I put them before me. Sometimes we do that.

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  4. All that work in training a puppy obviously pays off in spades! Spades that are manifested as love for all concerned. There’s no better reason for losing sleep than that. Caring for unwell loved ones, which often is at odds with sleep, falls in the same category.

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  5. What is worth losing sleep over isn’t always what causes us to lose sleep. But Freud told us that what mattered in life pretty much amounted to two things: love and work. End of story.

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  7. When my daughter was in high school she had the ” keep the fake baby alive” assignment. She breezed through it and told the teacher that taking care of her new puppy was waaaaay harder! She slept many nights on the floor in front of Josie’s kennel soothing that furbaby.

    Pets teach us as we teach them!

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  8. “Hmm, is love ever directly conducive to our goals?” Oh, so true Wynne. I think that’s the great thing about life. We all have choices. I’ve always liked John Wooden’s quote: “Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life.” Yes, I could have been more successful if I made some different choices, but I tried to choose love — even the love of a silly dog! Ha, ha.

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  9. My father used to say: Watch out for people who hold opinions without having a stake in the issue. (Not exactly his words: I’ve reframed the idea)

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  10. Love is certainly a disruptor in our life as they are often unexpected and the most wonderful of surprises! And our goal achievements are only enhanced because of the energy that it provides us to power through to them.

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    1. Oh – I’m blown away by your comment that “our goal achievements are only enhanced because of the energy that it provides us to power through to them.” I hadn’t thought of it that way but you are so right! Yes!

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  12. Love is always worth losing sleep over. What a beautiful perspective Wynne. The staying up or having to wake up for a puppy, or kids is sacrifice right? Sacrifice feels hard, yet we do it because we love.
    And look at all that the kids are learning because of love and that sweet Cooper.
    Ah, love your thoughts and this post Wynne. Feels so real and full. 💕

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    1. “Sacrifice feels hard, yet we do it because we love.” You have such a beautiful way of getting to the heart of things, Alegria! It is real and full when we have that heart full of love!! Thanks, my friend!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  13. Hi Wynne,
    I hadn’t read this but I love it. Not sure you know but I recently got a puppy and I can relate to your friend especially with mine coming sick and having 2 new grandbabies just over a year now. I don’t have to tell you with young kids. Pandemonium. I loved this “Hmm, is love ever directly conducive to our goals?”
    I so agree and I even thought long and hard, tried to talk myself out of it and it came out of nowhere this notion to get a puppy at a most inconvenient time. He has been sick and it’s been trying but love is always worth the price.

    Not sure why we weren’t following each other.. I just followed you. Love your podcasts and listened to Cheryl’s but couldn’t respond so I sought you out.. It was awesome!
    💗💓

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    1. I love this wonderful comment, Cindy! “Love is always worth the price.” So well said. I’m so sorry your puppy is sick. I hope he gets better soon! ❤

      And thank you for the kind words about our podcasts. I don’t know why we aren’t following each other either. I’m going to fix that too!! Thank you for the outreach!

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  16. Oh my dear Wynne, what a teachable moment. As you noted, we’ve lost sleep over things that we shouldn’t have lost sleep over. But this is a defining moment when the time spent with your adoring children and now a new puppy, gives new meaning to how precious time is. Well spent my friend! 🤗🐶😊💖😘

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  17. I remember when we got our first puppy and then our second almost ten years later. I had forgotten how sharp puppy teeth are and theta they will get into almost anything. Now our first puppy is close to the end and I need to remind myself to be the person my dog thinks I am. Lately, I’ve been and I’ve been impatient with her as she struggles with old age and self control. I need to recapture that joy. thanks for the reminder. Peace.

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    2. Ah, you capture the whole range of feelings for our beloved dogs so well, Clay! I’m sorry you are dealing with the end of life stages. Sending blessings and love to you all!

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  19. Everyone has to choose their own path with animals, but there are so many life lessons learned from the experience including self-discipline, patience, and reslience. I’m choosing the puppy route because the best time to bond with a dog, much like the nurturing of children is when they are young.

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    1. I love the way you liken the puppy stage to nurturing children. It’s so true! You’re right, Pete, we have to choose our own path. But so much goodness abounds from the work. Thanks for the great comment!

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  20. Oh my, this is such an interesting question. My first thought was of course love is conductive to our goals. Love is the goal, from the people we bring into the world, the animals we adopt, to the work we put into the world. I’ve always felt love was at the core of all we do and accomplish. So go for it, adding love to our life is good. Hugs, C

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  26. Hi Wynne, this is such a beautiful post, and ‘loving and learning’ resonates so deeply. My family has always had a furry puppy around. But I use the term ‘puppy’ loosely. When I was young, my parents had puppies from an early age. Since my husband and I were married and our daughter and son made our family complete, we’ve adopted dogs around the age of 18 months. So, potty training wasn’t an issue, but when you adopt, you deal with other issues, which we did. 🙂 Still, we wanted our kids to grow up with a dog, learn how to care for another living creature, and of course, the love came naturally. Our current dog, Copper, is a 14-year-old ‘puppy’ chocolate lab mix. His amber eyes can see right into our souls. So, I would say that getting your puppy was well worth it, and he is absolutely adorable. 🩷

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    1. I love that you have dear Copper. You are so right that love comes naturally and it’s so good for kids to take care of another creature! Yes, they are worth it! ❤ ❤ ❤

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