“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
We found a really fun pumpkin farm for a fall festival. It had a ninja course, zip lines, hay mazes, live animals, and great slides. But the biggest hits were the corn pit (they probably called it something more marketing friendly than that) and the tractor bikes. Every outing with coats on since, I find a steady trail of corn that continues to drop behind.
It’s a good day when you walk down to the lake in a spiderman sweatshirt and find a spiderman figurine wedged into the cracks. A doubly good morning when a heron is there too.
Ear muffs, playdates and signs. Cooper is finding his voice just like his predecessor, the dear departed Biscuit did.
We were having fix-the-deck-Sunday last weekend when the repair went later than expected and I had to put on my headlamp to finish. Mr. D thought that was great fun so every night this week he’s waited for it to get dark, and then asked if we can go fix the deck.
By the third night he asked, I’d figured out that he wasn’t going to be satisfied with my explanation that we try to do these things during the day. I set him loose on a board that I’d already pried up and removed the nails from earlier that day so that we only had to spend five minutes working at night instead of a half hour!
The sign and the heart of the week. The heart is a puddle of water on a slip cover for a boat.
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” – Orhan Pamuk
When my beloved dog, Biscuit, was alive he was one of the wisest creatures I knew. That is a bold claim to make about a golden retriever who loved people so much that when his favorite ones came over he’d start running at one end of the house, and then end up sliding the last ten feet before gently slamming into them. Not really the image of wisdom that is tip of mind when the word is uttered, but I just think of that as part of his charm.
Because his wisdom showed up in other ways. Loving people being one of them. Also the ability to be excited about life wherever it took him, even if he wasn’t in the driver seat, and he embodied the Carl Jung quote, “Please remember, it is who you are that heals, not what you know.”
I’d put signs on him and take pictures and while it seemed like I was the one doing the work, I swear it was just some observational connection to what he was telling me.
I say goodnight to dear departed Biscuit on my way to bed every night. I go into the living room, pick my way past the toys on the floor in the darkened room lit only by the street lights outside, to touch the cherry wood box that holds his ashes, and simply say “hi” or “love you” or a sentence about my day.
On the night before we were to pick up the new puppy, Cooper, I delivered the news to Biscuit and to my great surprise, he answered back. I know, it sounds like a Peanuts cartoon, but I swear the thought just came into my head, “Okay, you’ve gotten a new dog sooner than you’ve found new love.”
Yikes! In the six and a half years he’s been gone, that has never happened before. Of course, the effect was much more impactful since that’s the case. If I thought I’d been talking to my dead dog for all these years, I wouldn’t have much listened.
So what was Biscuit teaching me in this instance?
My observation about life is that life follows our intention, even for things like love that aren’t in our control. It reminds me of a podcast with Mark Petruska where he explained being a master manifester – really picturing what we want, clearly setting the intention, and then participating in the way things fall in place.
I think dear Biscuit was pointing out that my intentions have been ambivalent where romantic love is concerned. I haven’t spent much energy on it, and every time I try to imagine it in the life that I have now, I waver a bit.
When I went back to talk to him the next night, he was silent so I can only guess he’s said as much as he’s willing on that subject. Like all the wise ones, he knows not to talk too much and let the listener fill in their own blanks. Okay, my wonderful dog, I’ve hear you.
Speaking of podcasts, and listening, Vicki and I are doing a two part series about what we’ve learned so far about starting a podcast. This first part is about what we’ve learned about trying from doing a podcast: Episode 31: Trying Podcasting Part 1 with Vicki and Wynne. Check it out if you’re interested!
“People miss that all prayers are heard. But sometimes the answer is no.” – Pastor John Gray
The other day I was packing a lunch for my daughter and she was wandering around looking for her sunglasses. I wasn’t paying much attention to her search knowing that whether or not she found them, she wouldn’t likely wear them for more than a couple of minutes making the whole venture a little pointless. I asked a couple of mom questions like “where did you last see them?” and “have you packed everything else you need?” but mostly just listened to her narrative as she did a lot of talking and not much looking. Exasperated, she said in her most plaintive tone, “Why are you NOT helping me?”
It struck a chord in me. It is the tone that I hear inside my head when I want something specific and I think God isn’t helping me. Why are you NOT helping me? It’s funny the moments I have watching a scene with someone else that resonates with my own questions. It’s the lived experience coming full circle to help me find an answer to something I’ve pondered or struggled with.
In this case as I regarded my daughter’s question, I realized two things about when I whine to God. First of all, I’m probably asking or wanting something that God doesn’t think is important. I remember being about my daughter’s age when my beloved older brother would tease me by holding something in the air out of my reach. I’d jump and climb and claw and scratch to get up there but because he was six years older, he could always keep it from me. It worked as long as I continued to be fixated on whatever was held in the air when the reality was that all I really wanted was my brother’s attention. As in the case with me now, I struggle because I’m not getting something that I want and the struggle is the key part of the learning, not the getting.
The second thing that occurred to me in the “Why are you NOT helping me?” moment was the component of individual responsibility. My daughter’s quest to find her sunglasses wouldn’t even be a thing if she put them back where they belong. As it relates to me, I spin and get frustrated when I lose my center. The solution is always to quiet down and find that sacred still spot within myself. In the moment when I’m spinning out worrying about what next summer will be like because I won’t have the nanny I have now and imagining what that’ll feel like if I have to take the job as daily entertainment director on top of everything else…I just have to stop. Peace is only findable when I seek it, not the other things I’m trying to control.
Seeing myself in my daughter’s whine, I felt so much empathy for her struggle. I put down what I was doing, took a hold of her hand so she’d know I was with her and helped her find a hat which could work instead of the sunglasses. And miracle of miracles, we found the sunglasses on a bench in the garage as we went to leave the house.
“The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love.” – Henry Miller
Intro: I had a beloved golden retriever named Biscuit who in addition to being a goofy, energetic, enthusiastic and LOYAL friend was an old soul. In his older years I started taking his picture with signs. Although it’s my writing and initiative, these were somehow his words in a way I can’t explain. He’s been gone four years and in a tribute to him on his birthday, here’s a book we wrote. Eat, Play, Love.
“Creative people are curious, flexible, persistent, and independent with a tremendous spirit of adventure and a love of play.” – Henri Matisse
Intro: I had a beloved golden retriever named Biscuit who in addition to being a goofy, energetic, enthusiastic and LOYAL friend was an old soul. In his older years I started taking his picture with signs. Although it’s my writing and initiative, these were somehow his words in a way I can’t explain. He’s been gone four years and in a tribute to him on his birthday, here’s a book we wrote. Eat, Play, Love.
Miss O’s first day of preschool! Simon is retiring from his home schooling duties while Biscuit celebrates this significant milestone with the power of pawsitivity from Dog Heaven!
The late, great Biscuit was working on a book – a reminder that love makes our jobs easier, our steps lighter, and every risk to be open and hope worth it!
Surprised By Joy 