Finding Calm, Gratitude, and a New Plan

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“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John Wooden

Have you noticed that some truths sink in immediately and others take some time to circle around before they land? About six months ago, I listened to a podcast featuring Angus Fletcher who is the Professor of Story Science at Ohio State University talk about planning. Then I read his book, Primal Intelligence: You Are Smarter Than You Know.

Here’s what I took away from how he characterized planning. When we have no plan, we are afraid (and depressed). When we have one plan, we tend to get angry because anger is fuel for making it happen the ONE way we have planned. But when we have multiple plans or ways to get something done, we are more likely to get to an outcome.

It wasn’t until I recently lived through a travel crisis that I truly understood what Professor Fletcher meant. When a plan goes wrong, how do you stay calm, resilient, and brave enough to keep trying?

In this episode of The Life of Try, I share the story of a chaotic family travel day from Paris to England—missed trains, wrong directions, tired kids, unexpected costs, and the kind of uncertainty that can make anyone want to give up.

Through this real-life story, I explore how adaptability, creative problem-solving, gratitude, and “one next step” thinking can help us recover when our best-laid plans fall apart.

Here are three takeaways that helped me:

  • One-thing at a time: Our bad travel day started on train #2 on a day when we needed five trains to get where we were going. I couldn’t fix the whole route at once so I was forced to just handle one step of the journey at a time.
  • Regrouping: There is a Five Guys Burger at the Paris train station. No kidding, I think it saved my life – or at least my sanity.
  • Gratitude: Counting all the days and things that had gone right for our trip helped put in perspective the day that went wrong.

Inspired by Professor Fletcher’s work on resilience and alternative plans, this episode is for anyone navigating change, setbacks, anxiety, mishaps, or the messy middle of trying something new.

Listen in for an honest reminder that trying does not require certainty—it only asks for movement, one breath and one new plan at a time.

Here are some other ways you can listen and watch this episode:

Links for this episode:

When Plans Fall Apart Transcript

 Primal Intelligence: You Are Smarter Than You Know by Angus Fletcher on Amazon

🎥 Other episodes you might enjoy

➡️ How to Create Opportunities in Life | Motive + Means = Success Mindset

➡️ Encouraging Effort, Not Results | How to Build Resilience and Confidence

➡️ How to Celebrate Small Wins | Tiny Habits, Resilience & Personal Growth

(featured photo from Pexels)

64 thoughts on “Finding Calm, Gratitude, and a New Plan”

  2. Oh, Wynne. What a story. Yes, my heart would have dropped like a stone, too., and no big sign saying “Tired Mother with two kids and too much luggage come here.” Yikes! And then it keeps going from there! I can visualize everything, and I want to give you a hug. ☺️ It is a good point that with the incredible volume of travel you did and all of it punctual, that really is some good luck and you were grateful for that which helped you down the road. And I’m going to remember your “Ask” tips. I’m happy you are home, back and safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate the hug, Melanie! I can feel it from here.

      It’s funny that as so many things get turned into “apps”, the good-ole ticket office disappears. The person who fixed the train for us just used a smart phone and we never went to the office. It’s fascinating — but a little hard to navigate in a pinch!

      Thanks for tuning in, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “Lost in Paris” sounds like a fantastic movie I’d love to watch! I love Paris and all it’s beauty so much! And thank goodness for 5 guys, it’s so comforting to find something familiar. When we were in “Europe”, I can’t remember where exactly, and saw a McDonald’s, it made everything feel easier… Love your tips – when trying goes wrong; ask questions, and make plans… Figure it out one step at a time.

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    1. It made everything feel easier — you hit the nail on its head, Rose. Exactly! It’s just something familiar that makes the next thing possible. And you are so right about the beauty of Paris. Incredible city so I need to add that to my list of gratitude for things to be grateful for!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I like your gratitude statement “Counting all the days and things that had gone right for our trip helped put in perspective the day that went wrong”. Recently I had two flights cancelled and I got upset. But the assistant at the shelter who organized my hotel stay and re-booked a flight for the following day did a great job. I felt so thankful that I told him what an amazing job he did. However, when I came home I told everyone that it was awful being at the airport in a line to get things fixed. But then I realized that all went well, and not only the hotel was great but the dinner was excellent. So, the bottom line is that I should consider things in perspective, as you say Wynne.

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    1. What an interesting perspective, Cristiana! I can see you’d be upset after two flight cancellations — and I love how you flipped it around!

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  6. “Sometimes calm is strategy”…so good! Thanks for keeping me company while I was on the road at the crack of dawn this morning, Wynne. So glad you had a great trip and look at you — giving all of us an opportunity to learn and grow as you share how you made meaning in the moment…over and over again. I love this moment most of all, when you said (about wandering in the train station), stress mounting: “There was no obvious place to fix the problem. No big sign that said, Tired mother with two kids and too much luggage, come here.” One chunk at a time, one challenge at a time. You made it work. And I’m with you. In what circumstance would fries and a shake NOT help? xo! 💝💝💝

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    1. Oh, I love knowing you were listening at the crack of dawn. Thank you for tuning in, my dear friend. And you make such a good point – I’ve never had fries and a milkshake NOT work. Hmm…a Universal truth! 🙂

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  7. Wynne, the quote that always comes to mind for me when it comes to planning life is from the former CW TV show The Flash. One of the characters (Captain Cold) said there are only four rules to remember when making a plan. Make the plan…execute the plan…expect the plan to go off the rails…throw away the plan. This has always made me laugh when my life plans have gone sideways…which is quite often!

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  9. “Counting all the days and things that had gone right for our trip helped put in perspective the day that went wrong.” This is such great advice. I can easily start going down a negative rabbit hole. Surprise, surprise!!! When I’m around someone smart enough to kick my butt and get me seeing things in perspective . . . I’m usually fine. It’s all about perspective.

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    1. It’s so funny how that negative rabbit hole threatens to swallow us up – because somehow our expectations (I’ll speak for myself – my expectations) are that nothing will go wrong. And then… So much better when I manage to flip the perspective!

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  10. How interesting, that fluidity in planning is more likely to lead us to success, and, if I can extrapolate without reading, more good feelings.

    I do get depressed when I live entirely by “seat of the pants.”

    I’m sorry you had to put it into practice on family vacation, but glad it worked out. Happiness is a good burger. And vacation challenge stories are the best once a few years have softened the sting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think your extrapolation is spot on, Michelle. And I like to plan too so the seat of the pants doesn’t work for me – but it’s nice to know we can do that too.

      You have a good point about vacation challenge stories. I tell you what — we are never going to forget that Five Guys in Paris!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I really like this. What a good way to look at life: “When we have one plan, we tend to get angry because anger is fuel for making it happen the ONE way we have planned. But when we have multiple plans or ways to get something done, we are more likely to get to an outcome.”

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Your survival in Europe with two kids is an extraordinary accomplishment, Wynne. Thanks is a story I have got to hear! Brava!

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  13. This is such a good lesson, Wynne. One that is helpful to people of all ages. The Five Guys diversion was a great reset. You all likely need food and a change of pace by then anyway. Taking one step at a time seems so simple, but I know I’ve been guilty of getting bogged down by trying to do everything at once. Not only is that a stressful way to operate, it’s usually not very productive because we’re prone to making mistakes.

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    1. Prone to making mistakes — you hit the nail on the head, Pete. Right! I’m hurried and not thinking straight when I try to do it all at once. Thanks for the great comment, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. A timeless reminder. ✨ Focusing on what we can do, rather than what we can’t, opens the door to growth, confidence, and meaningful progress. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring reflection and a quote that continues to resonate.

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  16. how wonderful and you have lived the perfect recent example. such a good approach to remember and sometimes very hard to do in the moment, but with practice and seeing that everything is mostly okay in the end, and learn that we can do it, even if it’s in small pieces.

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  17. I just listened to the podcast and it was amazing—the best! Wow, you went through a lot, my friend, but you handled it magnificently. And thank God for that Five Guys! There is a mom who writes a column in the WSJ, and listening to your story made me think of her column. I’m not sure if it’s too late, but you should submit this story to a newspaper or magazine. You got me hooked, so I think it would be a hit and would help a lot of people.

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  19. This reminds me (somewhat) of the movie Sliding Doors, where one missed train in London completely altered Gwyneth Paltrow’s entire life. Glad your experience wasn’t quite so traumatic, though I’m sure at the time it was plenty stressful.

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  20. You all did an excellent job of adapting, Wynne! So glad you were able to connect with all of the friends you planned to see, despite the getting lost in Paris episode. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ugh, plans that go sideways, especially when wrangling kids! My sympathies.

    In recent years my daughter and I have been trying to take a step back and just roll with whatever happens. We’ve seen it’s often for a good reason.

    What if we’re being spared from a much worse experience? Taking a breath to take a pause or a break is a good idea, just like you guys did at the burger place. It all works out in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your outlook, Tamara. What if we’re being spared from a much worse experience? That’s so good! And it does work out in the end! Thank you for the great comment1

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I feel like travel mishaps ought to be treated as a given so they’re not as stressful when they happen–they’re expected!

    Having said that, I’m cringing just reading about your experience, because travel mishaps still stress me out!!!! I’m glad you got through it. Love that you ate French fries because… France! Of course! 😛 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You have such a good point about being a given. Maybe it’s because we don’t know which DAY they are going to happen? Because I’m still surprised every time! 🙂 Thanks for the lovely comment, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. Not knowing the when keeps you guessing. Hubby and I told each other the same thing about our wedding day. Then when something went awry, we looked at each other and nodded with a smile. “There it is,” we were both thinking. It certainly helps maintain sanity. We also discovered it’s the things that go wrong that make the best stories. No one wants to hear that everything went perfectly. That’s so boring. 😛 Keep your sense of humor. 🙂

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  24. This is an excellent story and a great example of how to handle things when things go terribly wrong (and they inevitably will). Your kids will see how you problem solved and will remember that in the future. In fact, in years to come, when you talk about this trip, this is the story that will always come up. My dad (the cowboy philosopher) always said, “If things don’t go wrong on holidays, we’d have nothing to talk about!” 🤗🤗

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  25. Oh I felt the stress of those moments with you. It’s one of my recurring dreams – running late for a test or destination but never quite getting there. So I can only imagine what it was like in person, in a foreign country and with two young children!

    The 5 Guys refuge is so metaphorical for those breathing and calming spaces we find in moments of adversity. Fries don’t solve the problem but they do give you the energy to recalibrate and refocus.

    I’m glad it all worked out in its own way and you had a wonderful time with your friends and kids!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your dream metaphor is perfect, Ab. Yes, it was just like that.

      My friend Eric asked if it should be “Cinq hommes” in French. Whatever it is called, it was totally needed! Thanks for listening, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. I think our first instinct is to panic when things don’t go to plan Wynne.
    I tire easily which does not help.
    I think anything connected with travel can go belly up at any stage, but its worth the pay offs.
    I adore Paris and the Metro.
    Love that photograph .
    Thank you Wynne.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. How many plans we believe we have – oh this is good stuff

    The example you have with traveling setbacks was really good and whew – setbacks sure do come out of nowhere, eh? very encouraging post

    Liked by 1 person

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  29. One of my favorite reminders for my students and clients is that if your first three plans fail, there are still 23 more letters in the alphabet to choose from! Life is full of twists and turns, but everything settles exactly as it should—often leading to better outcomes than we ever imagined, even if it’s hard to see right now

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