Weaving Our Tapestries of Connection

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“Relations are like electric currents. Wrong connections will give you shocks throughout your life. But the right ones light up your life. ” – unknown

I didn’t realize that I was pulling a loose thread in my life until we landed in France on our recent trip. But I teared up when I was explaining to our friends there that I felt compelled to visit them so that Miss O could know a little bit about what their son’s life was in France. I continued on to say that I believed that it would be easier for their son to come home to start middle school if at least one other friend had seen where he’d been.

Miss O and their older son had been in every class together from ages three through seven when the family moved to France. And then we saw them every summer when they’d come to visit so Mr. D got to know their younger son too.

I didn’t take me long to puzzle out my tears. When my family moved back from the Philippines to the States I was almost seven-years-old. It wasn’t long into trying to make friends at Jefferson Elementary when I heard kids teasingly jeer, “In the Philippines…” I must have started many sentences that way and it got old – for them and for me. Because the two lives were so different.

I didn’t know it was a loose thread all these years later. But I had an inexplicable certainty that I needed to take my family to France to build a bridge for these kids. If my kids could at least see a bit of where these boys had spent four years, perhaps their shift back to school in Seattle could be a bit more integrated.

The parents of these boys told me that one of their sons’ teachers in France counseled them not to talk about their French experience at all with new friends. I understand that advice but also know that we suffer a cramping of spirit when we bottle ourselves up like that.

Then we traveled on from France to our friends in England. Five years ago, this English family moved from London to our street in the States. Our kids went to school together and traveled back and forth between houses in a constant rotation. After four years of life in America it was time for them to move back. They settled into a delightful little village in Southwest England.

We had so much fun visiting our English friends a year after they left Seattle. In one especially poignant moment, I found all the kids huddled around the school yearbook we’d brought for them. The kids were so interested in seeing how everyone looked and hearing stories of what had happened since they’d left. When it was time for us to leave after two nights, there were tears on all sides. The mom of the family told her kids, “See, I told you your American friends would come visit.”

When I heard that, the tears welled up in me again. A feeling overcame me that was similar to when I see stories of long-lost friends reuniting, or blogger friends meeting in person. We are all more connected than we think. And when we honor the threads that bind us, we help complete each other’s tapestries in a beautiful way.

(featured photo from Pexels))

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76 thoughts on “Weaving Our Tapestries of Connection”

  2. there was so much thought and beauty in this. it was a wonderful way to keep that bridge connected and for all of the children to see that a change in location does not need to be the end of a relationship, simply a change in circumstance and this can be overcome. a wonderful life lesson for all ages

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  3. Such beautiful and tender moments, Wynne. You and the other parents put a lot of thought into this visit, such as bringing the yearbooks, that it was more than just tourism and travel. But about genuine connection and maintaining friendships that span geographic borders. So beautiful! Your kids will not forget about this experience!

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  6. As the Germans say, “Zeit hat Flügel.” Time has wings, and your recognition of this made for an irreplaceable time. Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks, Wynne. I like the picture of loose threads. I was talking to an elderly gent this morning about grandchildren we see regularly – how family threads can be drawn in… but one grandkid that they don’t and can’t see. Certainly a loose thread.

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  11. Beautiful sentiments here, Wynne. Your last sentence really says it all. We need a lot more “sewing” these days when it comes to taking those threads and helping each other engage and connect.

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  12. Wynne, it’s bit heartbreaking what you went through as a child, but so sweet that you felt called to build that bridge for your friends’ children. The your final line is perfection: “We are all more connected than we think. And when we honor the threads that bind us, we help complete each other’s tapestries in a beautiful way.”

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  15. Beautiful Wynne. Friendships are so special and its great that the children were all able to come together. I hope the boys from Paris will settle back in school. It will be so different for them, but their experiences and memories will shape who they become.

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  16. This was such a wonderful read. These experiences are wonderful for all of the kids (and aduts) involved. I always find holidays, where time is spent with people who live in the place you’re visiting are always more meaningful. And yes, I would have teared up too. xo

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    1. I love your perspective, Darlene – yes, more meaningful when you spend time with people that live there. The family in England teased me that they’d never had someone come to visit who chose them over London. Well worth it!

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  18. That’s wonderful Wynne. I think these connections are so important for kids. I moved from England to Canada when I was 9, and my bestie cried for weeks after I left. It was harder for her than me. I was having a new adventure and she wasn’t.

    Over 50 years later, I am still in contact with that friend. Distance has kept us physically separated, but we still have a meaningful connection. I’m sure your visit meant a lot to your kids’ friends.

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  19. So beautiful, this essay, Wynne. I love the background info and the insight you found about the powerful tug. And this…so lovely about wisdom offered, but lacking:
    “I understand that advice but also know that we suffer a cramping of spirit when we bottle ourselves up like that.”
    I think it’s the phrase “cramping of spirit” that really got me. Yes! So well put.
    xo! 💝💝💝

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  20. When my son was a child and we moved abroad (first to France, then Estonia and finally to Brussels), each time we went back and we could arrange something with his old friends (it wasn’t always possible ) , I asked my son how was for him to meet with his old mates again. He told me that it was as if he didn’t leave. And I have to say that I feel the same with my friends. Friends are forever, aren’t they?

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  21. What a wonderful post, Wynne. It’s so hard when families move often and friendships can’t develop fully. One of the reasons I retired when I did was so my son could have the full high school experience, including making friends. Thank you for sharing this story, my friend.

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  22. These last two lines nailed it Wynne, “We are all more connected than we think. And when we honor the threads that bind us, we help complete each other’s tapestries in a beautiful way.” I got to meet Sally Cronin while I was in Ireland and I’m still smiling. What a thrill! And what a kind and generous vacation, reuniting with dear friends and helping them with life’s many transitions. I think it’s interesting how we hold on to our painful experiences for so long and we’re not even aware that the wound is still there. Beautiful post. Hugs, C

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    1. Not even aware that the wound is still there. That’s so true, isn’t it? I love that you met Sally — and the pictures are great. Such a thrill!!! Thanks for the great comment, Cheryl!

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  23. My richest memories of the last 20 years have been what you’re describing here. (meeting blogging friends in person) What a trip! You packed so much goodness into that time away. Happy and excited for you.

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    1. Oh, you nailed it, Doug! You are inspirational for how you honor and support relationships! Thank you for all your prayers as we navigated our way through!! ❤

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