A Recipe for Life

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“Dreams are the souls pantry, keep it well stocked and your soul will never hunger.” – Shirley Feeney

I tried not to wince when I walked into the kitchen the other day and my 10-year-old daughter, Miss O, pointed to an appliance on the counter and asked “Is that an air fryer?”

Cooking has been a new interest for Miss O. She’s been finding recipes that she wants to try, mostly fruit bowls, oatmeal concoctions, and the occasional air frying two pieces of bread together. Then she gets into the kitchen, opens all the cupboards, makes a holy mess, and gets frustrated when she doesn’t like the outcome.

Cooper the dog, however, is a big fan of Miss O’s cooking projects. There’s usually at least one thing that falls on the floor or ends up in his bowl.

The other day when I asked her to clean up after her experiment in the kitchen, she wailed, “But you make it look so easy!” She was so exhausted from the effort that one more step felt overwhelming.

As I’ve been trying to help her, I’ve realized there are so many things I’ve done so long that I’ve forgotten how essential they are.

  1. Start with the ingredients you have. Last weekend when we were at an AirBnB, Miss O asked if we had something like almond flour. She needed that along with chia seeds for a recipe.

    A recipe that doesn’t take into consideration what we have on hand is like facing one “no” after another. It’s demoralizing and frustrating. When we start with the ingredients that we have on hand, it’s so much easier to find flow.
  2. Make sure you have the time and energy to both cook and clean. I think cooking is a little like mountain climbing — it’s a round trip sport. Understanding the time considerations to both cook and clean didn’t come naturally to Miss O. Allowing time to prepare and then make something, especially if it needs to set or bake helps to make room for the creative juices to flow. Also to clean up when the juices flow all over the kitchen. 🙂
  3. Don’t try new recipes if your goal is to impress. One motivation she’s had to try something in the kitchen is to impress her friends. So she’s trying to handle cooking and entertaining at the same time. Then when she tries something new that no one likes, it feels crushing. If she’s experimented ahead of time so it’s something she likes and is familiar with, it’s far easier for her to riff on it or even make it look easy.

It’s funny as I write these things out – these basics seem like a recipe for life, not just cooking.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the The Life of Try podcast Where trying becomes the spark for personal growth, discovery, and re-invention!

47 thoughts on “A Recipe for Life”

  1. I feel for Miss O. I was one of those preteens who liked to cook and bake, especially trying new recipes. I had many fails as well. It still happens at times. Why oh why do I try a new recipe for a Christmas dinner? Yes, just like real life.

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    1. It doesn’t surprise me that you liked to experiment in the kitchen, Darlene! And yes, I still try have to learn some of these lessons all over again. Thanks for the delightful comment.

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  2. “Then she gets into the kitchen, opens all the cupboards, makes a holy mess, and gets frustrated when she doesn’t like the outcome.” You are describing someone not in your family, Wynne. The difference is that the person in question is unholy and should know better.

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  4. oh, I love this and what a great recipe for life this is, only learned with time and life experience! and as I know, sometimes it takes more than one (or many more) experience to learn a lesson –

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  5. Nothing better than hands-on experience to learn! Yes, it is best to organise and prepare before starting the mess. Eventually, she might even learn enough time management to clean as she goes 😉

    Wonderful that she is so interested already.

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  7. Cooking really is a great analogy for life. I love the lessons learned, and you’re not only teaching Miss O but being reminded yourself.

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  8. As an adult I had a friend who taught me to clean as I go. I was someone who was going through severe health issues (chronic Shingles) my energy was limited and I’d often run out of gas just doing necessary cooking to keep us fed. Her trick saved me. I wasn’t left with a huge overwhelming mess at the end, it felt more doable. If I did run out of energy, I could leave the pots to soak and come back another time to finish them.

    Visual messes can be very overwhelming to some people, and that alone can suck the energy right out of someone!

    Best of luck to Miss O as she learns!

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    1. You are so right about the visual overwhelm, Tamara. What a great help that your friend who taught you that. I totally agree that it feels more doable as we go! Thanks for the great comment!

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  9. I’d like a double helping of your wisdom please, Wynne.

    Almond flour is one of those ingredients we have. Somewhere. Hidden away in the back of the pantry, several years old and probably long past its freshness. I can’t even remember what we bought it for.

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    1. Funny – I’ve got some of those ingredients too. And then if the recipe doesn’t work out, I don’t know if it was because it was past its freshness or because it was just not for us. I’ll send you some almond flour recipes when we find them again. 🙂

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  10. Your recipe for cooking looks really helpful, especially # 3. If you want to impress someone with your cooking talent is better to offer something you are used to prepare (and maybe you’ve received compliments for…).

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  12. So much to love here, Wynne…your observations are stellar…especially the reminder about so many in things being “round trip sports”. Lessons I keep teaching myself…maybe one day they’ll stick? LOL!
    😜❤️😜

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  13. 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️ I have to ask Wynne? Are you telling these items to Miss O or were watching me last week! You could have just as easily been describing me. Time and energy. Nope, nope,nope. Ha ha, I always want to try new things but half way through I lose all steam! Ugh. Love your advice!

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  15. Yes, those are basics for a recipe for life! Miss O reminds my of my son. He’d try new recipes to take something to middle school. They’d have occasional days where they had parties and were encouraged to bring something. He did find a recipe for a delicious chocolate cake that had both coffee and buttermilk in the recipe. Then he wanted to make Paella and I was hunting down saffron and other things we didn’t have at home.

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      1. Wow, you found saffron, too! I don’t think mine made the move to Arizona. My son still loves to cook. He’ll visit and want to go shopping and has me buy a plethora of spices for his lentil dishes.

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  16. Pingback: A Recipe for Life – Gospelchats.Com

  17. Awesome! The key is to clean as you go. Those minutes that you are waiting while something is cooking are precious, and a lot of cleaning can be done. Your essentials definitely apply to other aspects of life.

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      1. You’re so welcome. As a matter of fact, right now, while I wait for the rice and chicken in the oven, the sink is empty and everything is clean.

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  18. That quote is beautiful. I understand the frustration when cooking creations don’t turn out as expected. It’s so encouraging that Miss O continues to practice cooking, even when there are setbacks.

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  19. I too am impressed she keeps trying. In my mind’s eye I see her as a young woman able to pull off an entire dinner–and make it look easy! (She’ll also learn to work carefully to minimize mess.)

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  21. I love that Miss O is getting into cooking. T helped me a bit with meal prep today – emphasis on “a bit.” 🤣

    You’re so right that there is so much more to cooking than just the task itself. But she has a great coach in you, whether it’s for cooking or for the recipes of life itself.

    I look forward to hearing more about her cooking adventures! Enjoy!

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