Out of the Mouth of Babes: Three Lines That Open Us Up

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“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu

One of my takeaways from social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s recent book The Anxious Generation is that kids need to practice working out their relationships with each other. Negotiating what they want and also how to take care of each other is invaluable experience.

So I try to give my kids a lot of room to relate before stepping in. It feels like I have one ear open for how they talk to each other, especially when it’s at high volume. I hear plenty of statements like: “You can’t do that, it’s not fair.” and “Don’t do that ever again.”

But this week I heard three lines that immediately changed the tenor of the conversation. And the best thing about them? They were not specific to childhood.

Line #1

  • Six-year-old said, “I wish Miss O wanted to help.”

And she did. But prior to Mr. D saying that, she wasn’t clued in that he needed help.

Line #2

  • Ten-year-old Miss O said, “Okay, I’m listening.“

The conversation was tense before Miss O said this. Once she said it, they worked out whatever it was they were trying to do.

Line #3

Mr. D said, “Imagine we could…“

And then they were off building a better world.

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

I host the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing.

I also co-host the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, an author, creator and storytelling podcast with the amazing Vicki Atkinson.

84 thoughts on “Out of the Mouth of Babes: Three Lines That Open Us Up”

  2. How precious. I didn’t always get along with my brother, 3.5 years younger than me, growing up. Yes, there were similar words like Don’t you ever do that again? etc. But we also discussed things. And we always had each other’s back, and still do all these years later. I love the “Okay, I’m listening.” She would have heard that from you – a great role modal.

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  3. all of these lines would help adults to resolve conflicts and to get along as well. so glad that you waited to step in and were lucky enough to have overheard them.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. we can learn so much from children, but I know that they have been learning from you as well, and have learned how to apply these things and put them into practice. it truly goes both ways.

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  4. They’re able to say those lines much easier than an adult would because they’re still in learning mode, and know they’re in that mode. Adults expect themselves and others to already know how to do the stuff of life, so their impatience comes out, without some of the grace your young ones are showing. Adults could definitely learn from kids!

    Liked by 4 people

  8. I love Beth’s comment…feeling the same. Wise words for humans of all ages and I love your parenting skills, Wynne. Knowing when to wait – not intervene. So good! 💝🥰💝

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    1. For humans of all ages — that’s so good, Vicki!! And here’s to knowing when to wait – I get it wrong more than I get it right but I’m still learning! Thanks, my dear friend! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. I think you’ve got awesome skills. The patience bit…knowing when to let them solve/discover/explore without our help is so big, big, big. In awe of you!
        🥰💝🥰

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  10. There are some great comments already. There is so much power in listening to and trying to understand on another. We could all take a lesson from your kids’ book.😊

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  13. Wynn! I was just getting ready to comment on your post with the “save some democracy for us” sign and the fun photos (love the louvre reference) when my thumbs somehow maneuvered me to this post! “Surprised by joy” twice! I’m not really surprised though. 😃Thanks for the ever-delightful encouraging words and awesome photos! ❤️Deb

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  24. This brought a big smile to my face, to see how kids can support each other, and with guidance from great adults like you, to better understand and relate with one another. There are the magical moments of parenting. 🙂

    Wishing you three a great week ahead!

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  28. Learning how to talk with one another is an important skill, asking for help is probably the hardest thing to do. I still struggle with that, thinking I can do it on my own. But I need help and I need to learn to ask. Thank you for the encouragement. Your kids are awesome, I think I have a couple of them in my classes this year….

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    1. I couldn’t agree with you more, Natalie!! Love this comment – you captured the nut of it and are so supportive all in three short sentences. Thank you!

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