The Lens We Look Through

Posted in inspirationTagged , , , , ,

“Gotta move different when you want different.” – unknown

This was originally published on 3/16/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

The other day on a weekend I was trying to get my children out the door to go to the zoo. I looked over and both my children were lying on the floor near the back door looking at a lady bug.

When was the last time you laid on the ground to look at something? My dad used to joke that he knew he was getting older because he’d bend over to tie his shoes and look around for anything else he needed to do when he was down there.

There’s a scientific reason that adults aren’t usually found on the floor looking at insects and children are. According to Dr. Alison Gopnik, a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley, young brains are wired to be attracted to the things that can teach them the most. Adult brains are wired to be attracted to things that reward them the most. And unless you are an entomologist, you probably aren’t rewarded for studying bugs.

But there are times when the adult brain gets stuck. In our grooved pathways that Dr. Gopnik likens to boulevards, adults can cruise back and forth much quicker than children but we don’t always rethink how we got there. Kids brains have neural pathways that look more like the streets of Old Paris. Windy, slow-going but able to approach something from many directions.

Getting stuck might be in a mindset or unable to solve a problem. We can be in a rut in a relationship or unable to see the other side of an argument. Or we can just be downright bored and completely unable to see what it could take to change it.

And that’s when we need to do something entirely different.  When we are stuck, the best advice is to do something else. We can go for a walk. Or we can learn to play. Or we can travel. We can even get down onto the floor with some kids. Doing something different will help us come back to what we are doing with newfound perspective and energy.

The other day, my first reaction to seeing my kids on the floor looking at the ladybug was frustration. I was stuck in my mindset of getting us to where we wanted to go efficiently. But after a moment I relented and got down on the floor and looked at the lady bug too. There was awe to be found in a tiny bug spreading her wings and twitching her antennae in a pool on sunlight.

There was also irony that I didn’t want to take time to look at a living creature because I was too busy trying to get us to the zoo. We ushered the lady bug out the door before leaving ourselves, still awash in the wonder of when you do something different.

(featured photo from Pexels)

47 thoughts on “The Lens We Look Through”

    1. Yes, thank goodness I figured it out. Because reading this again a couple years later, it feels like there are many times when I still miss the opportunity and irony. And yet, we do need to get places…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Our brains become wired differently due to conditioning, mindset, experiences, etc. but how wonderful when we take the time to notice the tiny details that kids do. I love that. In the summer I will sometimes lay in the grass and look at the little things found within. A dried willow leaf, markings on a tiny flower, the uniformity of an ant trail. It’s all kind of fascinating this micro world within our world. And I love the feeling of joy that comes over me when I take the time to do that. Thanks for the reminder Wynne.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. WOW, what a wonderful reflection! A ladybug! 🐞🐞🐞 It’s the little things that we pause to see, feel and embrace in the moment. Such small details are monumental in my book. They tell a monumental story. Thanks so much for sharing Wynne! 🥰💖😍

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The little things in life that make us wonder. This line was hilarious, ” My dad used to joke that he knew he was getting older because he’d bend over to tie his shoes and look around for anything else he needed to do when he was down there.”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am forever taken by how adaptive you are, Wynne, especially when it comes to your children. It is akin to, in my mind, those who think through the questions before them and are ready to ask the second question, not sticking with the answer because it “makes sense” and seems instinctively right. Your kids are lucky to have you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this kind comment, Dr. Stein. I suspect that I’ve been lucky to have so many great experiences because I’ve been rewarded so richly when getting down on the floor with my kids. Being older and more willing to reexamine life has helped me a great deal in parenting. No way I would have done that if I had kids 20 years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah, I love the sweet irony! We do this a lot in our lives don’t we? Ignore the things right around us in favor of paying for a very similar experience, thinking ot is of more value because we have to travel to it and pay for it.

    The challenge no doubt is to open our hearts to the mundane things we overlook!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “There was also irony that I didn’t want to take time to look at a living creature because I was too busy trying to get us to the zoo.” Oh yes, the irony and humor. Some times you just have to laugh. Don’t be too hard on yourself though Wynne. If you didn’t keep the kids moving, who knows if you would have ever made it to the zoo. Ha, ha.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You learn something new easch day.That was interesting the part with the Dr. When im feeling stuck.hoing for awalk helps clear my mind and recharge me. Lol ok I admired a ladybug about amonth aga as it was crawiling on my door to go outsde.I stood there watching it ok and i took a pic lol. Awesome post.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Interesting about the difference in young and old brains in their attractions to teach vs. reward. And a good story about taking a pause to join your kids to watch the ladybug. Sometimes you go to see the animals, and sometimes the animals come to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh, the wonder of one ladybug when seen through the eyes of a child—and the annoyance when they invade the life of an adult! It’s swarming season now, and everywhere I look, I see them—littering windowsills, traipsing around rim of my coffee cup, and making themselves at home in my space wherever they choose. As a child, I would have loved the invasion. As an adult, not so much! Yet another lesson in acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, and, thanks to your post, a reminder to remember to discover the wonder of all life when seen through the eyes of a child.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I love this comment, Julia. Yes, we adults want to keep the outside out, don’t we? And then, in so many ways, life keeps invading our boundaries until we learn the lessons you mention. So wise, dear Julia!

      Like

  16. I don’t ever have to get down on the floor to look at bugs in my house. More often than not, they’re crawling across the ceiling. As annoying as that is, at least it’s better for my back.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Kids literally teach us to view the world and our challenges from a different perspective. Getting down to ground level can be beneficial to us grown ups.

    I just love to read and reread about what your kids/our kids teach us every day about life. 😊

    Hope you three enjoy your Easter long weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. This is such a precious story Wynne. The bug pulling at their attention, you pulling on them to go, the zoo lying in wait. I love it. I remember planning a social service adventure for my kids (park clean up day) and them forming a coup early Saturday morning, taking over the ambitious plans of mom, and deciding we were all going to enjoy a pajama day instead. I relented, changed out of my clothes, and made cooked Cheerios for the movie. It’s all good. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.