When Life Gives You Lemons, Your Family Should Help You Squeeze

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“A child can teach an adult three things: To be happy for no reason, To always be busy with something, and To know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” – Paulo Coehlo

This weekend I found myself in the questionable position of rooting against my four-year-old son, Mr. D.

Mr. D is very good at demanding with all his might that which he desires. When I put it that way, in the words of the quote for this post from Paulo Coehlo, it sounds a lot more romantic than some of the silly situations that we find ourselves in. Like yesterday when Mr. D insisted that we take pickleball racquets to church.

But on Friday night when he stubbornly insisted on having a lemonade stand, it wasn’t entirely out of the blue. He’d asked me earlier in the day and I said he could do it when eight-year-old Miss O came home from school.

When he asked Miss O, she said she’d do it after she had a little iPad time. So by the time everyone was ready to do it, it was 6pm and the March chill had settled in.

Miss O and I tried to convince Mr. D that Saturday, when it was forecasted to be 70 degrees was a better time to do it. He dug in and insisted we do it right then.

Miss O was mad, and I was irritated. But we hauled the table out to the sidewalk, balanced glasses and the toy cash register, and set it all up. Mr. D got into position behind the table and started calling, “Lemonade, get your lemonade” to no one in particular because there wasn’t traffic of any kind.

As I stood off to the side, I realized I was hoping no one would show. And that realization kicked me upside the head. Isn’t one of the big challenges of life and love to support and encourage others even when (or especially if) they choose to do things differently than we would? Maybe this was my opportunity to practice supporting my kids in their age-appropriate decisions, starting with a lemonade stand.

But it’s hard when I’m pretty certain I’m right. After about 20 minutes of no one coming by, I nodded to Mr. D and asked if he wanted to go watch shows. I didn’t start in with a lecture but just held his hand as we walked upstairs together. After all, entrepreneurial failure is disappointing all on its own without your family piling on.

And then Mr. D and Miss O did another lemonade stand on Saturday when it was warmer. If nothing else, I can support a willingness to keep trying. I didn’t agree with Mr. D’s decision to buy paint brushes with his half of the $13 of earnings. But I guess that was my continued opportunity to practice offering my opinion and then keep quiet. The hard work of love…

67 thoughts on “When Life Gives You Lemons, Your Family Should Help You Squeeze”

  2. I knew I’d love this story when I read the title. What a fabulous job you did in squeezing lessons out of a challenging situation, and practicing the art of perseverance in the face of failure. Without failure, how would we ever appreciate the fullness of the joy of success? Another chapter in the “Wisdom and Wit of Wynne?” Great job, Mom! Thank you! 💕

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  4. A string will is something that will help Mr. D in the long run. Respecting his mom’s wisdom and authority will, too. With grandchildren now, I mostly watch the face-offs unfold.

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    1. Yes, that is a pretty good haul. It turns out that the pricing for lemonade stands is complicated and variable. The posted price is one thing. But then the kids then wanted to give a discount to everyone. So then the customers just provided the remainder as a “tip.” A lot of complicated goodness. 🙂

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  6. Perfect example of one more Wynne and kids story that astounds me and your wonderful choices in parenting. I was a different parent, meaning that I very likely would have shut down the “it’s too late for the stand tonight” discussion with Mr. D. You fully understand the term and work of being a collaborative parent. I can think back to many moments that I would like to say I was that as well- but that’s not the case. Be proud of the choices you are making with the kids 🙂

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    1. That is a very lovely compliment which I appreciate more than you know, Deb. I’ve had to figure out what I have the energy for and on nights when I’m done, I do shut down the discussion. But if I have some in the tank, I try to let them try things. Funny how variable it can be!

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  7. Tenacity is a difficult thing to corral in other people, at least in a way that you want it to go. Love this story. Lemonade goes for $1 around here, but no dog treats.  

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    1. I thought the dog treats was a very good idea from Miss O. Interestingly, the posted price of $2 wasn’t really what they sold it for. They offered discounts or free glasses to most everyone – and then got a lot of tips. 🙂 Happy Monday, Ally!

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  8. That quote is a banger! And I think I agree with Dr. Stein. While challenging today, your choosing not to shut down Mr. D and discourage his strong will allow him to refine that in productive ways as he gets older. You’re doing such a great job, Wynne. ❤️

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    1. Thank you, Erin! That is an incredibly wonderful compliment. It doesn’t always feel like I’m doing a great job (and I’m guessing parenting is never a job you can just breeze through) but I try to show up!

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      1. It’s so clear in what you share that you are, and you’re transparent about the place where you (maybe) could have done better. I think awareness alone puts your leaps and bounds ahead of most parents. Not that there’s a right or wrong way, but I admire your intentionality. 🥰

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    1. I see the wisdom in doing it both ways. The outcome was so predictable. But also not that hard of a thing to let him try. Besides, then we already had the lemonade mixed and signs made for the next day. 🙂

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  11. I applaud the part of you supporting Mr. D’s willingness to keep trying. Also… selling lemonade when the evening is chilly enough to wear a puffy jacket sounds challenging even for the most skilled salesperson!

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  14. Great story, Wynne. You are teaching some valuable lessons for sure. Very professional stand with QR code and everything. Payment options and negotiation skills, pretty cool if you ask me.

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    1. Such a great comment, Edward. It sparked the thought of whether my kids will ever do many cash transactions and learn how to count back change. So different that our day – but the negotiation skills span generations. 🙂

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      1. I thought the same thing until I was surprised by my son one day. He needed money to pay for something he wanted, and all he had was his piggy bank. Surprisingly, he counted the coins he needed and did the math correctly. Kids nowadays are super smart, and will figure things out when they have to. I told my wife that he probably googled it or saw a YouTube video on how to count change.🤣

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  15. Oh, that digging in stubbornness is downright irritating! 😆 But you were so kind to him when things didn’t go as planned. I’m glad he had a better experience on Saturday!

    As an aside, I’ve always wanted to do a lemonade stand with T. It’s more for me than for him. 😆 Maybe this is the summer I dig in about it!

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    1. It is irritating – because there’s nothing rational that can move the needle.

      So I so go ahead and dig in!! 🙂 Can’t wait for your lemonade stand stories! If you do free dog treats, I bet T will be loving on every dog in the neighborhood!

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  17. You are great at self-observation in your interactions with your children, Wynne. Perhaps there’s a book in there somewhere. You certainly have enough material to write it. “Big Lessons I Learned From My Children”

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  18. That quote is so spot on. What entrepreneurial spirit I see in your photo! I love the way you write the stories of your life, and share all the valuable lessons you and your family are learning. Makes my heart happy to read your work… ❤️

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      1. Well, I definitely have more than 25 pairs of earrings. 😉 I think paintbrushes are a cute idea, way better than candy or plastic toys. Maybe he can write his name on the special paintbrushes he earned. 🙂

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  21. LOL, there comes a time where we need to keep our mouths closed and just let life teach them the lessons they need to learn. It is far more effective, and we get to hold their hands when it doesn’t work out. If they’re not in danger, sometimes they just need to figure things out for themselves, otherwise we’re just helicopter parenting. You did well by letting him have his stand, and then he saw for himself the difference a warm day made for his sales. If you had insisted he do it your way, you would have had a resentful child, but by letting him learn for himself, he could understand the reasons for himself.

    My daughter and grandkids seemed to always need to learn the lessons for themselves, and they are much better off for it now! Sometimes we need to just step back and allow them to learn their own lessons!

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      1. If it doesn’t place them in physical harm, sometimes we just need to allow them to explore the world and find out for themselves. Those are the lessons they remember more!

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  23. You are the best Wynne. This is one of my ongoing lessons, “to support and encourage others even when they choose to do things differently then me,” and I’m especially learning this as Larry and I try and write together. He told me this morning, “you are not allowed to change my words.” I quietly agreed. Hugs, C

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  25. “But it’s hard when I’m pretty certain I’m right.” Oh, that sentence vibrates with the experience of adulthood, and being a parent…lol. Though it is an excellent job letting him experience his failures and success, our job is simply to plant seeds and offer safe gentle guidance. In other words, “offering my opinion and then keep quiet.”

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