Be a Campfire, Not a Conflagration

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“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm” – Rumi

We traveled this weekend to visit a friend in Eastern Washington. On Saturday morning, I crawled out of bed early for my sacred meditation time. After I meditated, I built a fire in the wood stove to take off the chill of the early morning in the woods.

The sequence made me realize the similarities between meditation and fire building.

We accumulate the debris from our lived days – the celebrations, the joys, the annoyances, the worries. It sits like stacked wood until we are ready to coax out the heat and the warmth. Somethings are easier to ignite than others while others need some tending to burn.

It requires a spark to convert it to something other than dead wood that we carry around. The spark can come from something like writing, introspection, or meditation. It can come from people around us or circumstances can set us off. But one way or another something is likely to light us up in good ways or in bad.

Some sort of ventilation is necessary in order for the process to work. We can talk it out, sweat it out, write it out, pray it out, cry it out, or some combo of it all.

Thinking about these parallels as I sat watching the fire in the stove, I found myself mesmerized by the beauty and warmth. But there are few things that scare me as much as when fire escapes its boundaries and roars out of control.

I came home from the weekend with a new motto: Be a campfire, not a conflagration.

70 thoughts on “Be a Campfire, Not a Conflagration”

  3. You don’t have to be a conflagration to make a difference . . .

    “You are the light of the world. A city that is set up on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all that are in the house.” – Matthew 5:14-15

    Your unique parenting lifestyle of choice, writing talents, and other gifts make an encouraging difference in others lives Wynne. Your dad would be proud of you.

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  7. Some spiritual practices include imagining an opalescent flame into which one may toss unworthy thoughts—such as judgment of self and others, anger, resentment, etc. It’s a wonderful purification practice and opens the door to greater self-love. Even those without blessing of fireplace can use the imagination to watch unwelcome thoughts go up in flames. Admittedly, sometimes I need to pitch them in there more than once, but eventually they disappear into the ethers and become a thing of the past. Thank you for reminding me that I still have some work left to do before I drift off into the sunset! Thank you Wynne!

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    1. I’m laughing about pitching unwelcome thoughts in more than once. Yes! Your description of a purification practice is so apt! I’m not sure about you having work to do, Julia – but I do know you are a firestarter in the absolutely best sense!

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  9. My sister and I went up to the lake to escape for a few days. And of course there was a storm raging outside, so we kept a fire going most of the time, and both of us remarked on the charming aspects of sitting by a fire. The storm was so loud and violent, it made the fire appear mild, even sweet if you will. We felt cozy and safe until the lights went out. I love how you connected the birthing of a fire with the new self that emerges from meditation. I was right there with you. Extraordinary. Hugs, C

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    1. Oh, at the lake with a fire while a storm rages. Amazing imagery, Cheryl! And I presume since you are responding to this post, that the power came back on. Whew – glad you are safe and sound! Thanks, my dear friend!

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  10. Thanks, Wynne for reminding me. It’s a while since I’ve been down the route of applying the science to the spiritual. The science says that spark + fuel + oxygen = heat + light + beauty. You can then develop your application – in the way you have. Thanks. It’s a good principle to reflect on.

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  11. Okay, maybe it’s because I was watching too many bad action movies over the weekend, but I took your line “Be a campfire, not a conflagration” and instantly imagined Dirty Harry or some one antihero talking to the screen, “Brian, it’s really rather simple, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Ha, ha, something tells me that’s not what you were thinking when you were watching the fire and mesmerized by its beauty. Ha, ha. I like your version better!!!!

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  12. I remember when we used to live in the countryside, we watched the fire in the wood stove for hours. It’s so beautiful ! And your motto « Be a campfire, not a conflagration » is so true !

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  14. You’re making me want to build a fire in our fireplace now. Actually, I only have to press a button, but with an atmospheric river coming our way, that sounds like a cozy place to read. My parents had a pot bellied stove in their bedroom. My best friend growing up, had one off the kitchen to warm the house.

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  17. What a beautiful reflection, Wynne, full of wisdom and, pun intended, warmth!

    And that fire stove looks very invited. I can see how it was the perfect calm to go with your meditation. 😊

    And that Rumi quote is so true. Never sacrifice yourself in the process of trying to be a light for others. 🙏

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  18. How wonderfully written! The cumulative debris of our daily lives needs to be ventilated, so as not to become a conflagration roaring out of control. The campfire is a much more practical and gentle option.

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  20. A great comparison of building a fire with debris from our days, and how we need those moments of ventilation. And I can see how building/watching the fire in the wood stove was meditative 🙂

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  21. What a fantastic lesson you brought home with you! A perfect comparison between the fire and our inner selves!💞💞💞 Sometimes we allow ourselves to be filled with tinder, just waiting to burst into flame at the smallest spark.

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  23. Love this post! ❤️ Totally get the fire-building meditation connection. So true that sometimes things just need a little tending to really spark joy.
    We all need to vent sometimes, but raging infernos ain’t the way.

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  24. A great, thought provoking post. I was reading it as I sat by the fire this morning, so I instantly related to it, considering the dead wood in my life I need to replace with warmth and light. Good way to start the day. Blessings to you.

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  27. Very interesting and incredible article Wynne. So much wisdom to grasp here and I am glad I read this blog. I like the message, “Be a campfire not a conflagration” and indeed you are right as rain about that. The best way to live life to the full is to be a campfire🔥 instead of setting yourself on fire to please others🙏

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  28. This feels similar to my experience of seeking intensity thinking I’d find intimacy, and how many times over my life I’ve confused and conflagrated the two.

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