Understanding Choices: The Illogical Coat Dilemma

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“We’re all different. Don’t judge. Understand instead.” – Roy T. Bennett

I have this illogical tic that drives me crazy. When I walk Cooper the dog in the pre-dawn hours, I like to wear my white coat that is puffy with a hood. The problem is that it is not water resistant.

When I hear that it’s raining, I know that I should wear a different coat that is water resistant. The two coats sit on hooks side by side so it’s just as easy to grab the other coat. But most of the time, I still pick the puffy white one. Then I return home with a wet shirt underneath.

I’m a Seattleite and I’ve climbed mountains. I know that the gear you wear makes all the difference in your experience. Granted, the morning walk is only about 15 minutes long so it’s not life or death. It’s not even long enough to be truly uncomfortable.

But it is long enough to think about why I keep making the choice. I finally put my finger on it. It’s because the pockets on the white coat are soft and comfortable. In the morning when I’ve launched myself out of bed and into the cold before I’ve had a cup of tea or done my meditation, it’s dark (and raining), I just want a little bit of cozy.

When I read Anne Beall’s book, The Compassionate Writer, it made me think of this illogical coat choice. Because when I see others acting in a way that will get them soaked, metaphorically speaking, I think they should make different choices.

“Another common bias is what psychologists call the actor-observer effect. Research by Nisbett and colleagues shows that tend to explain our own behavior based on external circumstances – ‘I didn’t have a choice,’ or ‘The situation made me do it.’ However we attribute other people’s behavior to their personality or character. This can skew how we interpret both our actions and theirs.” – Anne Beall, The Compassionate Writer

Anne makes an excellent point that when we write with the understanding of this bias, it’s more relatable. It probably makes us better humans as well. Case in point, I worry when my six-year-old son would prefer to wear a sweatshirt on rainy days instead of a rain jacket. [Apple doesn’t fall far them the tree.]

P.S. If you haven’t heard the How to Share podcast with Anne yet, it’s worth a listen. She’s got so much wisdom about compassionate for ourselves and others!

(featured photo is mine)

You can find me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/ and Instagram @wynneleon

Please check out the How to Share podcast, a podcast celebrates the art of teaching, learning, giving, and growing!

41 thoughts on “Understanding Choices: The Illogical Coat Dilemma”

  1. About a month ago, we got a rainstorm that dropped over two inches in the late afternoon. I volunteer at a food pantry and it was my night. I have rain gear – pants and a top, but I chose to wear only the top. I was drenched at the end of the shift; my shoes were squeaky, and my pants were literally painted on. I should’ve worn the pants, but I didn’t. It’s funny how we make these choices. Fortunately, the temps were in the 50s not the 30s so being wet though uncomfortable wasn’t that unpleasant. A couple of weeks later it was close to zero for our shift. Congrats to your Seahawks – that surely put a kick in your step this morning.

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  4. We all have these illogical moments, don’t we? I do the same with my light coat from Uniqlo and yes, th sweater in the rain. Comfort over Logic. 🤭

    I didn’t watch the game but just looked up who won. Congrats! You just must be so proud. It’s going to be a part in your city today!

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    1. There was a moment last night when my kids (and the others that were at our party) were running around the block bare footed in order to get the best view of the fireworks going off in the neighborhood. Yep, a party!

      I’m delighted to know you do it too – I’m in good company!

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  5. This is such a great, thought-provoking post, Wynne. I think we all have some automatic habits that don’t make much sense until we really start paying attention and being honest with ourselves. Maybe you need to find a waterproof rain coat with cozy pockets when it’s time for a replacement. 🙃

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  6. I agree in part with the idea that we hold others to a different standard than we do ourselves. As a therapist I recognized this as a possibility, but only that. Some people are more self-reflective than that and take a look into the mirror. Indeed, Wynne, you puzzled out your behavior and recognized why you chose the coat you did. It just took a bit of time. Self-knowledge is like that. Somewhere Socrates is giving you a round of applause. Until you find him, listen to mine.

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      1. I say this because one Christmas, I had asked my son for a light-colour, light but warm jacket so I could run in the mornings in winter. I always paired it with my white hat – doing whatever I could to ensure I was visible. I am taken aback by how many people dress totally in black with no reflective parts at all…

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  11. it is interesting how we tend to naturally judge others by different standards than we judge ourselves. I’m always freezing so I assume that everyone else is and as a mom and on the playground it took me a long while to understand that some kids/people just run hot and don’t want to wear lots of layers, scarves and coats and are happy that way and not being defiant. if they are cold they will put on more. mind blowing, who knew? ) as for myself, I love to wear sandals from April through Halloween which makes some people crazy but I just hate wearing shoes and socks, so why did I not get this? I’d be barefoot all the time if I could be

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  14. Whaaat? Choosing perceived comfort over practicality? Pffft, I have NO idea what you’re talking about! Hehehe! I chose cute footwear over actually warm boots on a very cold day, got hypothermia, and it took a few hours to thaw out. Did that twice. Might happen again today, as I’m wearing those same shoes today, on a cold day. -o/- maybe one day I’ll do it right!

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  15. I’m gonna lean into comfy every chance I get — and I loved Dale’s comment about the white coat being more light reflective! That was my first thought, too! Love how you’re drawing perspective from your chat with Anne…good stuff, Mary Wynne! 💝😉💝

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    1. I like the light reflective point too – I have thought about it although there aren’t many cars out when Cooper and I go. Thank goodness he’s white too! 🙂 Thanks, my dear friend!

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  17. You know, as much as I enjoy my outdoor morning walks, I have come to appreciate the five months I stick to the treadmill, because I have the same what-to-wear dilemma often. Fewer decisions are required, which means less stress, and that translates to a happier Mark.

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