All You Have to Do Is Ask

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“Our problem is not that we aim too high and miss, but that we aim too low and hit.” – Aristotle

Last week, nine-year-old Miss O came home from school disappointed that she’d missed the opportunity to sign up for her school Glee Club. Apparently we’d missed the memo.

So I suggested that we contact the music teacher to see if we could join now. “No,” she moaned, “we’re too late.”

I doubled-down with the parenting trope “It never hurts to ask” but apparently Miss O was sure that it would.

I remember being about Miss O’s age when my mom told me to call the store I wanted to shop at to ask when they would close. I was completely intimidated. It took a lot of drama and role-playing practice. When I finally did it, I discovered that it was a pretty straightforward query.

So I’m completely clear on the many reasons we have not to ask for what we want. I still feel twinges to this day. Asking might reveal that we weren’t on the ball or should have already known. What if we are being disrespectful or disruptive? Perhaps it’ll bring unwanted attention on ourselves. And what if they say ‘no’? What if they say something I don’t know how to respond to?

But despite all this, I remembered late that night to send an email to the music teacher. She responded the next day that she’d be delighted to have Miss O join. In fact, she’d already let Miss O know when she’d seen her that morning.

When I picked Miss O up from school that day, I gleefully said, “Wuhoo, you got in to Glee club! See, you just have to ask.”

She laughed and said, “Yep.” And then she added, “What do you do in Glee club anyway?”

Oh dear – that’s next week lesson: know what you are signing up for before you do so. It’s a lesson I’m still regularly learning…

(featured photo from pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

93 thoughts on “All You Have to Do Is Ask”

  1. A great lesson. I’ve never had a problem asking for things. It appals my husband at times. I always say, “The worst they can do is say no.” Which seldom happens. I love that in the end she wasn’t sure what they did in Glee Club. Too funny. She will love it though.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m smiling! Well, the name “Glee” club sounds awesome! Like “Happiness” club! I’m sure she’d nail the Happiness or the singing! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. such a good lesson and happy she’ll be a part of the glee club, whatever they do ))))

    p.s. this inspired to write about a funny and ill-fated tryout I once did for something I really didn’t know much about – ty

    Liked by 1 person

  11. As an adult I’ll ask for whatever I need, but as a shy child I lived in fear of: “And what if they say ‘no’?” Somehow in my mind I thought that them saying ‘no’ to me meant I was wrong to ask. I felt guilty before I even asked. I’m glad you’re showing Miss O a better way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this insight, Ally. Yes, it feels like we shouldn’t have asked. That’s it! I think she’s learning even though in this case I did the asking. We’ll see… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Yes! that is a great lesson to learn, Wynne, and the sooner the better, too. Now, I think I can safely predict that Miss O is going to shine in Glee Club because I remember past posts about Miss O’s natural musical talent (you’ll have to follow-up on whether the guitar is still put away 🙂 Also, adults can make this mistake too, I signed up for a school responsibility years ago before I truly understood, and it was a lot of work and I didn’t really have the time to devote to it. We are always learning.

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    1. I make the mistake of “what did I get myself into” all the time, Melanie. You are so right! And you have a good memory. Yes, I bet she’ll love Glee club. As for the guitar – I gave her one of her own for Christmas so that Mr D can have his and she can have hers. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. My son who is almost 25, still hesitates to ask. I am the opposite, I always dare to ask, as throughout my life I learned that there are no stupid questions. But your lesson learned “know what you are signing up for before you do so” is very valuable!

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  17. So true, Wynne. Asking applies to dates and discounts. After decades of marriage, I’ve not had any recent experience with dates, but I often ask for discounts, and the thousands in savings continue rolling in, so it never hurts to ask!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I love how you extended this to discounts. Yes! And dates – men have it rough in that category. Love that you are saved from that by your long and successful marriage! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You said it perfectly, Dana! The knowing what we are signing up for IS equally as hard. I’m not sure I have mastered that lesson at all. Thanks for the delightful comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Asking can be intimidating but asking to belong is empowering. As you said, you find out how straightforward the process is and from that I add willing to take other chances. Now, asking before you know what you’re getting in to – that’s courageous! Good luck to her.

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  20. Haha I’m so glad it all worked out in the end and that she got into Glee club. This was something I was just talking to with a friend, oftentimes we’re afraid of aiming too high but the world may have so much in store for us and instead of protecting ourselves from rejection we’re missing out on so much.

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  22. I have no doubt that Miss I will be bold . Good lessons. My only problem is that the block letter words, “Aim High,” take the form of a Cross, a symbol of something rather different.

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  24. I love that approach in life too, it never hurts to ask. The worst they can say is no! I’m so glad it worked out for Miss O this time thanks to your perseverance!

    And yes, she might wanna find out more about what a glee club is before the first session! 😂

    Enjoy your week ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Loved Miss O’s response—”What do you in Glee Club anyway?” Why am I betting that some of her friends were talking about it and she was suddenly interested? Still, it speaks to her confidence that she was interested without really knowing what it was all about.

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  32. ha ha. It looks like they were two lessons learned here. First don’t be afraid to ask and second be careful what you wish for. I smiled when I read the end because you really don’t know sometimes. But being connected and part of something bigger than you is a good thing. Hope you have a great week.

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  37. Ha ha such a great lesson!
    “She laughed and said, “Yep.” And then she added, “What do you do in Glee club anyway?”

    Oh dear – that’s next week lesson: know what you are signing up for before you do so. It’s a lesson I’m still regularly learning…”

    I thought you were going to say she was mad you emailed the teacher.. whew 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  38. That is so funny that your daughter wanted to join Glee Club but wasn’t sure what it was. So good of you to ask even though it was too late.

    I remember bringing my son to a Saturday religious class at my kids’ Catholic School. I was late with the paperwork. My husband and I were driving out of town taking our daughter to a swim meet. One of my son’s classmates parents was going to pick him up afterwards. Since my kids had attended that school since kindergarten and he was now in middle school, I had no idea my being late with paperwork would be an issue. The teacher wouldn’t let him in class. His friend’s parent found him outside sitting by himself, while his classmates were in the classroom.

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