Be Kind

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato

We’ve been attending a lot of kids birthday parties recently. Five-year-old Mr. D said to me, “Mama, seeing kids gets presents at their birthdays makes me feel jealous.”

I replied, “That’s understandable.” I thought about saying something about generosity, grace. or friendship. Instead, I decided to tell story of my own.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking Cooper the dog in the neighborhood and I noticed that our neighbors have two new nice cars. I like this family a great deal so I felt a small stab of envy but not in a snarky way.

A couple days later, I ran into the mom of this family. I asked how she was. She answered that she and her husband were flying down to California to get her 20-year-old son’s stuff from college. He was diagnosed with lymphoma over the holiday break and is starting treatment soon. Damn. Damn. Damn.

As I gave her a hug and my deep felt and sincerest best wishes, I thought of my recent pang of envy. Everyone is going through something. Perhaps it only depends if we are close enough and trustworthy enough to know what it is.

I told a simplified version of this story to my kids. I’m not sure they got a lot out of it because they don’t yet quite understand that people have layers like onions, to quote Shrek. It may be years or decades before they fully comprehend that even though we always want new “stuff,” that isn’t what truly matters.

But I figured we can at least start the conversation now. I suspect we all need the reminder. I know I do.

(featured photo from Pexels)

You can find me on Instagram @wynneleon and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wynneleon/

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

85 thoughts on “Be Kind”

  1. This is a poignant story, one the children may recall later on. Planting these seeds in the young ones early is a good idea. My children are grown up with children of their own. Often they will say to me, Remember when you told us this or that? Sometimes I don’t even recall saying whatever it was, but obviously it made an impact on them. Teaching kindness is a big part of our job. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 7 people

      1. Yes, this was my thought too, sometimes we don’t get to share the entire lesson, sometimes we get to plant a seed. There will be future opportunities to water that seed, whether you do it or others help. The most valuable lessons are how we live our lives, and not always what we say.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. what a bittersweet and powerful story of putting priorities back in perspective, and understanding what is really important in life, I’m hopeful for this young man’s recovery, and happy you were able to teach this lesson to your children, and to remind yourself, of what you already know, and what we all need reminding of from time to time.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Kindness is the glue that binds humans together. It makes us happier as well, and it seems to be in short supply in too many places. Good lessons to learn. And when you’re old enough, you don’t yearn for any new acquisitions at all anymore, just peace and well being for your family and friends.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. A much needed reminder in today’s chaotic world Wynne. Thank you.

    “Be kind to each another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ had forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sometimes we forget how much we really have; because everybody (and I mean everyone) is struggling with something, even if it looks like they have it all. It’s a hard lesson in today’s world of consumerism and instant gratification for kids to understand. But being loved and surrounded by love is key. Like I wrote yesterday, you’re crushing it! I always walk away from reading my daily dose of joy, feeling better. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Touching, Wynne. I think you and Jane have hit important targets. The inevitable hardship built into living and the awareness that money and “stuff” are part of what has the potential to contaminate life. It hurts to have too little and warps those who live for it and never have too much.

    You are your father’s daughter, I bet, offering a worthy sermon and important lessons.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah, Shrek – what a great philosopher. But maybe Donkey gets it right, too…

    “They stink, they make you cry, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs”…

    Of course he thought he was talking about onions not ogres (or people) but still…

    I think what I appreciate most about this story is Mr. D’s freedom to share with you how he feels – the safety of that is a beautiful thing. Not every child has healthy enough attachment with a caregiver to do that. In fact, many do not. Wynne, I know you’ve struggled hard to keep healthy relationship with each of your kids, and it’s awesome to see it happening in these stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A powerful reminder, Wynne. I find my best approach when someone aggravates me is to consider the source…wondering about all that I don’t know…may never know…about unseen burdens they might carry. I love how you bring lessons forward for Mr. D. and Miss O so authentically…organically…based on your own experiences. xo! 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I vaguely remember a quote that goes something like, To envy is to count someone else’s blessings instead of your own. It’s true isn’t it. And envy unbridled, leads to our own pain.
    Powerful post Wynne. Hoping things work out well for your neighbour.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That is a powerful story and reminder, Wynne. Reminds me the phrase the grass is always greener on the other side. It is easy to feel envy for other people’s circumstances but as you wisely noted, everyone is often facing their own unseen challenges. This was a bittersweet lesson to share with Mr D. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Pingback: Be Kind – LEGO®

  22. I hope the best for that family, and yours. It’s good that you were able to do some self reflection, and growth as well. Part of the human condition is to feel ugly feelings sometimes that we fight. The beauty comes from the experience, and the opportunity we receive when it occurs. I’m sure it helped the woman to speak on what she was experiencing, it helped to unburden some of her pain, even if for just a moment. Thank you for sharing your experience. In my own, I have found that we all have our different pangs, however we all have different blessings as well. Important to live with gratitude, and extend our hands as a community to one another. I wish you well -Ashes

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Wynne. My DIL is cancer free so far in her scans. She’ll need them for five years. Now I’m worried about my neighbor who was diagnosed with brain cancer and given two to three months to live. That was in December.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. You’re wonderful to start this conversation with your kids. Maybe the idea isn’t clicking with them now, but I’m sure it will eventually click for Mr. D and Miss O. After all, their mom will continue to share wise, gentle, and kind lessons along the way. 🌞

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Plato was on to something with this quote – “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato. This is so very true; and your parenting lesson will not fall short with Mr. D and Miss O!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I don’t think it’s too early to have the envy conversation. How great that Mr. D is comfortable sharing his feelings with you.

    Your story is a great reminder how often we don’t know what difficult things each other may be going through.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. I love that you listened to Mr. D and shared a story with him. Too many people are quick to dismiss children’s feelings – often because they’re tired or it never occurred to them to help their kiddo see beyond themselves. I found in my relationship with my son, keeping the lines of communication open (and staying as nonjudgmental as possible – not always easy) has contributed to my being a safe place for him. It took me a while to realize that his brain wiring creates a daily battle that I’ll never have to navigate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What an amazing comment, Susan. I love your lived example of being a safe place for our kids. You’re right – it’s not easy but it makes all the difference. Thanks, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. What a powerful story, Wynne. Starting the conversation early is good, and you’ll be surprised by how much they actually retain. Life is not always perfect, as Facebook and Instagram insist on telling us.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Well said, Wynne. I love the way you teach life lessons to your little ones at every opportune moment.
    You are right, Even though we always want new “stuff,” that isn’t what truly matters.”
    Once again, this incident reminded me of my childhood. My Mum and Dad used to say, ” Look at those who have less than you, and be thankful for what you have. And not keep asking for something someone else has.” I remember not understanding why I always had to be satisfied with what I had and not want something more!
    Lots of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. We all have layers. That onion analogy is spot on! Love how your son has the freedom to articulate that with you and your wisdom in thinking about how to respond.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. I truly appreciated your perspective on kindness and the reminder that everyone is indeed facing their own battles. Your story about Mr. D and the conversation with your neighbor resonated deeply with me. It’s so easy to fall into envy when we see others with new things, but your reflection on the deeper layers of people’s lives is a valuable lesson. Thank you for starting this important conversation.

    Looking forward to more insights from your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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