The Fate Worse Than No

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“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” – Wayne Dwyer

When my friend, Eric, was over for dinner last week, I asked him if he had room in his car to take his chairs home. In the pause as he considered it, Miss O jumped in and said, “Yeah, they were just dumped here.”

Eric surprisingly showed up with chairs unbidden on the morning of Thanksgiving of 2023. And while we used them around the table for that Thanksgiving and this past one, they haven’t been used otherwise.

I think Miss O was doing the thing we often do – saying one sentence too much when there’s a pause because we’re afraid the answer will be “no.” Call it pressing the point or making the case, often it’s trying to shift the answer in our favor. Sometimes it comes with an unnecessary punch.

Because “no” isn’t the worse thing we can hear. Sure, it means we aren’t getting our way for the moment. But consider all the missed opportunities if we didn’t ask at all. Things like dates you didn’t go on, the path you didn’t take, and the pitches you didn’t make.

And the chairs we stored for 420 days because I hadn’t asked my friend to take them. Fortunately, Eric did have room for chairs in his car that night. As we carried them to his car, he and I had a good laugh about the chairs that were “dumped.” Not the word I’d use because they came with good intent and thankfully left in the same spirit.  

(featured photo from Pexels)

60 thoughts on “The Fate Worse Than No”

  8. Hahaha! Takes the “out of the mouths of babes” front and centre!

    And how true is it that a pause begs for more words when silence would be preferable.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I’ve filled silent pauses with Miss O type remarks, hoping things will go my way, instead of just letting go. I’m making an effort to be more aware when this happens. ‘No’ isn’t always the worst, but ‘Yes’ feels like the best…

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  17. Children and their unfiltered selves are just the best. T was sleepy in class today and his CYW said he told the whole class he didn’t sleep well cuz his daddy snores like a jet engine and kept him up all night through the walls. Gotta love their brutal honesty. 😆

    I do believe too that the worst that one can say is no but if we don’t ask the question, there are multiple opportunities that won’t get a fighting chance. I suspect Miss O and Mr D will learn and practice this important lesson very quickly!

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    1. I’m howling about T’s answer. Oh yes – brutal honesty!

      Multiple opportunities that won’t get a fighting chance — perfectly said, my friend! Happy Monday!

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  20. Haha! A few years back I was helping a friend move (Her daughter is my goddaughter.) by taking some stuff to the dump. One of the items was an old hamster cage that was still in good shape. I’ve never owned a hamster, but it seemed a shame to throw it out. It’s now been stored in our garage the last few years collecting dust. I was moving some things around last month and came across it. I took a picture of it and sent the photo to my goddaughter, saying I had found her the perfect birthday gift. 🤣 She had hamsters, probably 25 years ago. Now, she’s about to graduate from medical school. I’m so proud of her.

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  27. Lol, I’m always intrigued and amused how kids try out words in situation where they are certain their take on things is 100% accurate, but they’re way off the mark in reality! I’m sure Miss O wasn’t trying to be harsh, she was probably just trying her hand at having a strong part in the conversation!

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