Navigating Unwelcome Surprises

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“Living is the art of getting used to what we didn’t expect.” – Eleanor C. Wood

Last week, at an off-leash area for dogs, a dog latched on to my 18-month-old dog, Cooper’s, face. This dog, a pit bull mix, had been showing a lot of interest in Cooper. But Cooper doesn’t have, or hasn’t yet developed, any defensive postures – he doesn’t bark, raise his hackles, or growl. He’s bigger than many of the dogs and mostly runs away.

For whatever reason, this dog latched on to Cooper’s face between his eye and his ear. The dogs weren’t fighting – and neither dog was even growling. The owner was right there and was doing all that he could to get the dog to let go.

I can’t say how long it went on for – it felt like five minutes but could have been only one or two. As it went on, all the humans in the dog park circled around but no one seemed to be able to help the owner get the dog to let go.

And then finally the dog released. Cooper wimpered and scampered away. The owner said to me, “I’m so sorry. We’re never coming here again.” I’d like to report what I said but I have no idea. Maybe nothing.

I checked Cooper as we walked out of the park and he didn’t have any blood or wounds. The side of his face appeared to be a little puffier but undamaged.

These kinds of things always surprise me when they happen. It’s not that I’m unaware that they can. It’s that I’ve found carrying around the armor of anticipation to be too exhausting. It fends off bad and good things equally. It weighs me down too much in a way that keeps me from trying new things.

Instead I’ve come to figure out what works for me to process these things. I sit on my meditation cushion and breathe and pray. I write about it. I tell the story to others and it helps me to get a handle on it myself.

Somewhere during this process after we’d gotten home from the dog park, I started to settle down. The shaky feeling had lessened and after a time, I even stopped saying “I’m sorry that happened” to Cooper every time I looked at him.

Then as the kids settled into bed that night, Cooper featured high in our list of what we were grateful for. Five-year-old Mr. D was glad his buddy was okay. Nine-year-old Miss O pointed out that it was great that the other owner was helping and was apologetic. I was grateful that the kids weren’t there and it wasn’t any worse.

So in the end, we found bright spots in a story that started with “a dog latched on to Cooper’s face.” I’ve found that navigating unwelcome surprises often helps me to dig deep.

(featured photo is Cooper after the incident)

I co-host a storytelling podcast featuring authors and artists with the amazing Dr. Vicki Atkinson. To tune in, search for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or Pocketcasts (and subscribe) or click here. Or the YouTube channel features videos of our interviews. Please subscribe!

My other projects include work as a CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer), speaking about creativity and AI through the Chicago Writer’s Association, and my book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

You can find me on Instagram and Twitter @wynneleon

84 thoughts on “Navigating Unwelcome Surprises”

  1. Wow, I am so sorry that this happened, Wynne! That must’ve been a scary moment and no wonder it felt longer than it probably was. I’m glad that Cooper was unharmed.

    Your calm and reflective response to unwelcome surprises is always a good model for all of us to follow. Taking the time to meditate and turn a negative moment such as this into one of gratitude is always the best way to move forward! 🙏

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  2. Oh my goodness, the owner of a pit bull (mix or otherwise) takes his/her dog to a dog park, where the dog can be off lead?! I’m outraged on behalf of all the other dogs. Dog parks are supposed to be places where all the dogs as well as people can feel safe. The nicest part of this unpleasant tale is that the kids could think of positives from the outcome. I’m glad Cooper wasn’t badly injured, but he might be nervous in the dog parks on the next visit.

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    1. You’re right that Cooper might be nervous on his next visit. He seems fine at home and on walks but hard to know what he makes of the ordeal.

      I was talking with the owners before the incident. They’d rescued the dog a couple of months before and they have another dog that she seems to be doing fine with. So perhaps they thought it would turn out fine and now they know better.

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  3. The “armor of anticipation” — what a potent and relatable phrase and feeling, Wynne. I’m grateful Super Cooper wasn’t injured…and although I’m sorry you had to experience all of it, I’m glad the kids weren’t with you. Extra snuggles for the fluffy boy from me. ❤️❤️❤️

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  4. That happened several years ago to our dog, a miniature schnauzer, on our street, while on leash with my daughter walking her. The neighbor dog, three doors down, also a pit bull, came running out of their house when the front door got left open momentarily and latched onto our dog’s face. In an instant, it crushed her jaw and destroyed her vision on that side. The neighbors, very sweet very responsible people, were shocked their dog would do that, very apologetic, and paid for our dog’s reconstructive surgery. But our dog was never the same after that. I’ve been around many pit bulls, and they all seem so sweet and fun until this kind of thing happens. It’s really sad.

    I’m so bothered, angry even, this happened to Cooper, and also grateful the harm was not worse. Of course those owners will never take their dog to that park again! That is only right, though I’m not sure it’s enough.

    Wynne, it is so good that your mindfulness practices were helpful – and yes, I certainly understand that writing helps. I, personally, think some felt and expressed anger is also totally acceptable in these kinds of situations.

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    1. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, David. How traumatic for your daughter.

      You have a good point about anger. That’s one of the feelings I have the hardest time with so I tend to roll right past it. That breed gets such a bad rap — and then your story and mine show why. Hmm, I’m going to have to ponder that!

      Thanks for sharing your story, my friend.

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      1. I don’t blame the breed, but the breeders. The dog is just doing what it was literally designed to do. To me, this goes to show that once a dna marker is switched on, it can be difficult to switch it back off! And yes, I just “switched” from talking about a breed of dogs to the ongoing nature/nurture debate. And I know it’s complicated.

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  5. That sounds like a scary and anxiety inducing incident. I think mediation certainly helps to process those types of experiences and I’m glad in the end you and the kids were able to focus on the silver lining.

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  6. I am glad it worked out, Wynne. How tenuous is our hold on life. The animal world has no idea about this, and I am assuming his instinct in this department wasn’t strong. One can only be grateful that the outcome was what it was.

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  7. I’m sorry for Cooper and you to have gone through this. I’m relieved that Cooper didn’t have bodily wounds. Also, Miss O is great to see the silver lining that the other dog’s owner was trying to help.

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  9. I’m so glad Cooper is ok. Thank you for this Wynne. I love that there’s someone else out there, who is surprised when difficult things happen. I’ve tried to live by the motto, ‘prepare for the worst and expect the best’. But I’m not naturally inclined to prepare for the worst with every scenario in my life. I always expect the best, the end. And fortunately I manage to get through the difficult surprises nonetheless.

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  10. Oh my–such a traumatic experience for Cooper and you. It’s really a miracle he wasn’t more seriously injured (like David’s dog, described above). I love your response and your kids–looking for the positive in the face of upset. I’m reminded of what God inspired the Apostle Paul to write: “Whatever is true, noble, and right, whatever is pure, lovely, and admirable, whatever is excellent and praiseworthy, think about such things” (Philippians 4::8).Keeping our thoughts on the positive contributes greatly to our peace of mind.

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  11. Poor Cooper! I’m with the others in my anger at the owner of the pit bull mix who let her dog run free when she couldn’t control him. I’m glad it turned out okay, and I’m glad your kids weren’t there. Hope Cooper recovers fully, physically and emotionally.

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    1. Thanks, Belinda! Cooper seems to be bouncing back just fine but I haven’t taken him to an offleash area. I appreciate your comment and will give him an extra tummy rub for you!

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  12. I have to admit you were a lot more forgiving about this than I would have been, Wynne. I understand it was an off-leash area, but I just don’t understand why so many people get this breed. Thankfully, this incident didn’t end tragically. Imagine the guilt that someone would have to live with if their dog killed a child or someone’s beloved pet. Pit bulls are responsible for 22.5% of all dog bites and 66% of fatal dog attacks.

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    1. Ah, Pete, those are some alarming stats. You are right – imagine how those owners felt both for what happened — and what if it was even worse. The owners had rescued the dog a couple of months before and that muddles the issue for me. I applaud people who rescue dogs — and then so many of those are pit bull mixes. Complicated. But thank you for your great comment and chiming in.

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      1. Good to know about the people. Not all cases are the same. We’ve had a couple of rescue dogs over the years. One was terrific with people, but she had bad intentions with other dogs to the point I worried about her killing another animal. It got so bad that my wife insisted we return the dog to the shelter. Unfortunately, he had no space at the time, and we had to keep it for two more months. I used to walk the dog on a leash before dawn to avoid seeing other people with their dogs.

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  13. “It’s that I’ve found carrying around the armor of anticipation to be too exhausting. It fends off bad and good things equally.” I’ve taken to carrying pepper spray and having an emergency hiking whistle around my neck after my encounter with eight coyotes. Maybe a whistle might work for you and Cooper on walks and the dog park. It’s so loud it will startle anyone or any creature.

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  15. Oh wow Wynne, this must have been traumatizing for you and Cooper. 😲 I’m so glad this didn’t turn out worse than the incident itself. I appreciate your moral to this story my dear! How frightening though! 😱

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  16. i lovde that you found carrying the armor of anticipation to be too exhausting ! totally ! I can relate to that. I do it too. Your little story is such a powerful corrective; thanks Wynne —

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  17. Yikes. I don’t care what anybody says, I will never trust pit bulls. At least the owner was friendly and apologetic; a lot of them tend to be defensive. I’m so glad Cooper is okay! Poor guy!!

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    1. You have a great point. There is a lot in their breeding that overrides even the best training. But you’re right – at least the owner was friendly! Thanks for the Cooper sympathy – he’s a lot like us – pretty optimistic and seems to have bounced back just fine. 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Brian! You’re right – it was traumatizing. I had to really sit with it a while before jumping to something else — and even writing about it. Amazing how writing brings perspective. At least to me — Cooper seems to get there all by himself. 🙂

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  22. Whoa! What a scary thing to have happen. I’m so glad Cooper is ok, and yes, I imagine it took a while for your nerves to settle.

    I remember when a dog attacked our dog in the front yard. Back then, people’s dogs generally roamed free but stayed mostly on their own property. Hearing the snarling of the dogs fighting, my Dad ran out on the lawn, taking off his size 13 shoe and throwing it at the other dog (who finally decided to leave). It was nerve wracking!

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  23. Gosh Wynne, what a scary story. I was right with you and the fear and the shaky feeling – one which I am familiar with. I am so glad Cooper is ok. But it broke my heart that he “whimpered and scampered away.” I love that meditation and “talking it out” helps you process “surprises” like these. I can’t imagine a better way.

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    1. Thank you, Melanie. Cooper seems to be all fine now, thankfully. I think in the best case, we find a way to process this stuff so we can move on with the right take-aways! I appreciate you reading and commenting!

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  24. Geez! I’m sorry that happened but I’m glad everything seems to have turned out ok. Cooper looks like he had a long day in the pic 😕
    Maybe a nice piece of chicken would perk him up? 🙂

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    1. Oh, you are the first person to suggest chicken and Cooper very much appreciates that! I went to Starbucks and got him a pup cup yesterday (whipped cream) and that did a lot to soothe any lingering pain… 🙂 Thanks, Todd!

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      1. On behalf of every dog I know or come into contact with, I recommend chicken to cure any problem they may have. 😁 I’m hoping they will all remember this and spread the word amongst themselves in case I ever need one of them to help me in some way 😁

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  25. Oh my goodness what an event to deal with! I’m happy Cooper is on the mend, and that you all have been spoiling him because those four-legged fur-children provide us so much unconditional love and loyalty.

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  26. I was driving when The Eagles’ ‘Already Gone’ came over the car radio and I thought of your post and that amazing metaphor ‘ carrying around the armour of anticipation too exhausting’ ; so liberating, Wynne, casting it off !!!

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  27. I’m so glad Cooper is okay. You’re right Wynne, it’s exhausting to always be on guard. I try to stay present and enjoy the moment, but sometimes unexpected things happen. It sounds like you handled it really well.

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  28. Wow. This kind of thing never ceases to amaze me. Dog owners are aware that dogs are meant to be on a leash and yet many dog owners behave like they have ‘special’ entitlements holding dear their belligerent beliefs. I’m so sorry this happened and I’m equally grateful that your dog came out of it unharmed. Consider lodging a complaint with your local council. Saying sorry does not mean forgoing accountability for the dogs bad behaviour.

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  29. Pingback: Photos of the Week: January 18 – Surprised By Joy

  30. Oh Wynne I’m so relieved Cooper is doing ok after such a frightening incident. Frightening for you all. I have a snapshot in my mind of those terrifying minutes during which Cooper, you and owner were captured and helpless. Not at all easy to forget! But your life skills far outweigh them and there are some really helpful comments on here.
    This sort of occurrence leaves me querying the usefulness of prevention of further attacks from this dog? What can be done? How much do we want to invest in further involvement? Often difficult to decide.

    Cooper sounds an adorable dog who has a lovely temperament – obviously nurtured by his family. I hope it doesn’t leave a noticeable impression on him.

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Margaret. I think Cooper is fine and has done a great job of living up to his reputation as a gentle dog that’s good for a family.

      I was talking with the other dog’s owners before it happened. They had just rescued him a couple of months before. Based on their reaction, I think they now know that she can’t be off-leash. A tough way to find out but my guess is that they’ll be responsible going forward. Fingers crossed.

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  31. I’m sorry but I have to say, I’m sooooo sorry this happened to Cooper and to you, Wynne. This is terrifying. I rescued a dog from Lake County during the fires when we were at our lake house. It was sweet, it got in my car. It wagged it’s tale and licked me. I had no idea what kind of dog it was at the time. I had 2 dogs at the time. I brought him home to the bay area to find him a home. My dogs got on fine with him. I sent him to a clients who told me it was a pit bull who said they always wanted one but they said he was a little overzealous with their other dog. I named him Charlie. I took him to get neutered and brought him home. I was on a walk a week later with Hunter and him with 3 other staff walking him. Hunter went to say hi to our neighbors dog who was NOT on a leash (that also floors me) (it was usually fine) and I let this dog say hi and the golden growled and then this dog latched on and wouldn’t let go. As I’ve heard, they don’t start the fight but they end it. I was holding on with all of my might and I was pulled down and I’m strong. I even used my hands to unlatch them, stupid. The owner came out screaming and I said “get your dog”. Blood was bursting everywhere from it’s neck. I was terrified and called and said he has to go NOW and within the hour he was gone. I know it’s not right, but I am terrified when I see them. If the neighbors dog is out, they are aggressive and she is supposed to keep it on a leash. I still shudder when I think of it. Horrible and when I go to the dog park and I see one, I leave.. they might pick up on my fear and energy and even if it seems prejudice which I am not, this sends me into orbit when I know those teeth don’t let go when I experienced it first hand. Take care and again I am sooooo sorry! 😢❤️ TG he’s ok!

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    1. Oh, Cindy, I’m so sorry. How incredibly traumatizing. And you had done so much to try to help Charlie. Wow, what a story.

      I hear you about not wanting to profile them – and yet knowing what can happen because of their long breeding to be tenacious. So, so hard!

      Thank you for sharing this story. I’m sorry it happened!

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      1. I know and thanks, Wynne. It was soooo traumatizing. You’re welcome and thank you so much… sorry so sorry and I’m glad Cooper wasn’t injured and I hope that dog NEVER returns. .. xoxoxoxo ❤️

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  32. “I tell the story to others and it helps me to get a handle on it myself.” Yes! That’s so true. I guess that’s something I’ve always somewhere back in my brain known, but I’ve never quite seen it in words.

    This also makes me want to pause and ponder: “I’ve found carrying around the armor of anticipation to be too exhausting. It fends off bad and good things equally. It weighs me down too much in a way that keeps me from trying new things.”

    Gosh, I’m so glad Cooper is okay, too. Sounds like that could have been way worse. Also, what a weird thing for that dog to do!

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    1. Hey, Betsy! I’m sorry this has taken me 5 days to respond. For some reason, it got stuck in SPAM. Love that it put something in words to ponder. Thanks for your Cooper wishes – he seems to be doing fine!

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