The Risk Factor

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“Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” – unknown

A couple of weeks ago, on the third time I took five-year-old Mr. D to the skate park, we ran into a fifth grader at school who is the boy that Mr. D admires the most. And this boy is a terrific scooter rider. Is that the right way to put it? I’m unsure of my skate park lingo.

This boy rides a scooter and can drop in to the steepest of the bowls, propel himself out, kick the base of the scooter around so it does a 360 and then land it, bringing all the energy to an elegant stop. It is truly impressive.

I watched Mr. D observing this boy and wondered if it would make him reckless. Mr. D stood quietly for a while just taking it all in and then he started scootering back and forth on the flat concrete practicing popping a wheelie.

On the next visit, he found the most gradual of the slopes and started practicing going down one side and back up the other. This sport is not in my wheelhouse so I’m of no help to him. But he figured out how to bend his knees at the bottom of the slope.

He keeps making incremental risks and discoveries with each visit. I remarked on this to my friend, Eric, and he quipped, “Even five-year-olds have a built in risk meter.”

To which I’d add – “that works.” A certain amount of risk is necessary in order to learn. We have to be willing to look foolish, expose ourselves as newbies, and try something in order to quit it. I mention that last one because it’s often my barrier – I hate quitting things so I often won’t start something so that I can prevent having to quit.

So, I’ll speak for myself when I say that one way that life becomes rutted for me is when my risk meter breaks. Everything new will peg too high on the meter so then I try nothing. I’ll claim my past risks as badges that insulate me from ever having to try anything new again. And then I stop learning.

The funny thing about risk is that it’s a little contagious as well. The next time we went to the skate park my nine-year-old daughter, Miss O, came along. Seeing her brother try the gradual slopes encouraged her to do the same.

So here’s to being open to taking the right risks in life.

62 thoughts on “The Risk Factor”

  2. Risk is actually such a beautiful thing. It allows us to push outward just a little bit, and as we do, we gain so much. Especially the ability to manage our fear. Fear is so stifling.
    Smart Mr. D, observes and glides into risk. Uncalculated risk is foolish, but starting with the small slopes is brilliant. Mr. D and Miss O already figured that out.

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  3. Gradually increasing levels of risk as we master the previous level is a sane way to approach learning. He may need some more protective gear, knees, elbows and hands, to continue his learning, for more advanced moves will require more speed!

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    1. I like how you put it – the same way to approach learning. You’re right about the pads. He has some that he used when he learned to skateboard. I’ll make sure they’re handy!

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      1. I’m sure they’ll give him confidence to try out new moves! 😉

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  4. it’s fun to read about Mr D figuring it all out at the skate park. You surprised me by saying that you find yourself deciding not to do something because of the risk. You, a mountain climber and woman who made the brave decision to have kids on her own. I wonder if it’s just because you know that your plate is full at the moment. I think you have plenty of risk-taking left in you, when the time is right! Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Wynne!!

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    1. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Jane!

      What an interesting remark about risk. You’re right that timing might come into play. I think there are different categories of risk too and maybe some are easier than others.

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      1. Very good point about different categories of risk. My guess is that you are making wise decisions about what risks to respond to (especially to add on to your very full to-do list) at this phase of life. 😊💕

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  5. ooh, she’s caught the bug! teaching early childhood we often had discussions about ‘risky play’ and decided overall to let the children try things, as long as they were not in obvious danger, only climb up a tree as far as they can go themselves, etc. taking risks at any level offers them a level of independence, resilience and the ability to succeed, fail, and try again if they like. it’s such win for them and hard for an adult not to say ‘be careful!’

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  6. An interesting topic, with an extra round of applause for Jane and Beth. I have no answer. We need the risk takers, especially in youth. We don’t need the fearful,but do need the sober and careful.

    These days call out for courage but I am not sure where that fits, but I do know that moral courage has nothing to do with skating.

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  7. An excellent post, indeed! I marvel at the way our risk meter changes with our age. It still functions, but points us to replace past risks with new ones. For example, exchanging publishing articles instead of popping wheelies on motorcycles. What really interests me is how the new ‘mental’ risks make our little gray cells peculate as fast (or even faster) than the physical ones. I guess growth is growth, regardless of age or ability.

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  11. Perhaps one of the best ways to avoid a risk insulated, “rutted” existence Wynne is to peg your risk meter and go Nike, pop a wheelie, and . . . “Just Do It!” 😀

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  13. I’m not a risk taker, but when I do get out of my comfort zone like learning to dive off the blocks and swim at a meet, I felt so much accomplishment. It sounds like your son if practical and not taking unnecessary risks.

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      1. I signed up for Masters’ National swim meet because it was 45 minutes from Palm Springs and our coach asked us to. I had to dive off the swim blocks at the meet and had never done it before. I started off not able to get on the blocks and the coach had to hold my hand through it all!

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  14. I tend to be risk-averse by nature so I have to push myself outside my comfort zone from time to time. You raise a good point about the right risks. I suppose that means we need to be comfortable with the amount of risk we’re taking. Hmm. Is that an oxymoron?

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  15. I learned the term risky play in the recent years from a colleague, now retired, who ran Children Services for our organization. It’s the idea that having manageable and age appropriate risk in play boosts learning, growth and resilience in our children.

    It seems Mr D, with your mentorship, has established a healthy risk meter for himself. I absolutely agree that risk is part of growth and helps us avoid staying stagnant in life!

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  16. Great story, Wynne! Love the picture. Mr. D is so adorable.😍 I also needed the nudge to take more risks in areas of my life where I’ve found it a bit scary to do so. As the quote suggested, if I lose, at least I’ll be wiser.☺️

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  19. Ah, but how do we know which risks are right??

    Maybe they’re the ones we take, so long as we fail without giving up? This is the part that feels messy to me.

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    1. Hmm, good point. I love your phrase – fail without giving up. That’s a pretty good indicator. And maybe the ones that the small, insistent voice won’t stop bugging us about? How did you choose one graduate program over the other? You knew deep down, right? But you’re right – messy and maybe undefinable!

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      1. Yeah, the deep down part is true… and it came out of experiencing the difference between risks taken in isolation vs. risks taken in connection. Also a key factor for me!

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  20. Sounds like Mr. D is expanding his limits gradually and logically. He seems to know that the guy he admires has skills that are years in the future. Good for your son for knowing himself. This is great encouragement to try even when we’re beginners and won’t complete our task until later.

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    1. I love your phrase, “great encouragement to try even when we’re beginners and won’t complete our task until later.” Right! Patience is necessary! Thanks for the great comment, Rebecca!

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  21. Great piece, Wynne. I think your friend nailed it when he talked about everyone having a built-in risk meter. The best takeaway from me is that we can take inspiration from others, whether we know them or not, though I think we’re more likely to act the way Miss O did when we see a family member or close friend not letting fear control our lives.

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  22. Great post! Risk taking and risk management are so important at any phase of life and it’s always good to see examples of those doing it well at any age. I was surprised to read your comments about trying new things and quitting others- with all the things you’ve tried and our past conversations on the topics, I just assumed they came naturally to you. Quitting can be so liberating- keep doing it🙂

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  23. This line struck me as the most important, “the funny thing about risk is that it’s a little contagious as well,” and I couldn’t agree more. I remember a friend appearing at one of those many Zoom calls back in the day and she took a huge risk and shared some vulnerable feelings that she was harboring. And guess what. It opened the room, it gave us all permission to be real with our feelings, and vulnerabilities. It took the conversation to a whole new level. I suppose that is what risk is about, taking ourselves out of our comfort zone and risking it all to improve, to bring our experiences, connections, and conversations to a new level. Great topic. Hugs, C

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    1. OMG – what a powerful example. And it just took one person to do it so that everyone else could jump in too. I love it, Cheryl! Thanks for always being willing to show what it’s like to keep digging and writing about treasures from deep inside. You’re amazing, my friend!

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  24. Great post on risk, Wynne, and while not allowing the fear of failure to prevent us from trying new things, the wrong risk could be life threatening. So, I like the ending with the key phrase ‘right risk.’ I also love how your daughter was encouraged to try after watching her brother. 💞

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    1. Such a great distinction you make between the right risk and the wrong risk, Lauren! Yes – some good discernment is necessary! Thank you for reading and commenting!

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