Lost and Found People

The good road and the road of difficulties, you have made me cross; and where they cross, the place is holy.” – Black Elk, Oglala Lakota Medicine Man

The other day I was sitting at the kitchen table with Miss O. One of the 20-somethings in our lives had just shared with us that she was pregnant and Miss O was so excited.

She asked, “Mommy, how did you tell Nana [my mom] that you were pregnant with me?

I replied, “Well, it wasn’t that much of a surprise with IVF because she knew I went in to have an embryo implanted. Then 10 days later they did a blood test to determine whether I was pregnant. So I think I called her or I texted her.

Then she surprisingly asked, “And she was happy?”

Trying to figure out the phrasing, I raised an eyebrow and replied. “She was thrilled.”

And then Miss O revealed why she’d asked like that, “Even though Bumpa [my dad] had just died?

Oohhh, she was putting together the news with the story that she already knew which is that my dad died just as I was getting pregnant with her.

And then, my not quite 9-year-old daughter, replied, “We are the lost and found people.

Whoa.

I’ve often thought of those months when I was writing a book about my dad, his remarkable life, our connection, and the reward for being open with him when Miss O was in utero. It felt like a dance between birth and death. I was saying good-bye to having him present in life as I waited for Miss O to come. Such a sacred dance.

But Miss O’s comment about lost and found people made me think that maybe we all are. It seems like many new chapters are ushered in after we’ve given something up: a job, a partner, a story we believe about ourself.

And then, when we’ve given it up, we can proceed. Seems like the trick is not to get mired in the lost, so that we keep working towards the found.

We are the lost and found people. I couldn’t be more grateful to my beautiful daughter for pointing that out.

(featured photo is my dad and me when I was 2-years-old)

My book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.

72 thoughts on “Lost and Found People

  1. Me, too — I’m with Jane and Dr. Stein. Miss O is a budding philosopher. I love how she captures the essence of what matters most with her on-point and poignant observations. Losing people, finding people. That might be the best four-word descriptor of my life. Give her an extra hug from me today, okay Wynne? 💕💕💕

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  2. So true. I still remember the day I realized I had to let go of my grief for my first husband if I was to be able to move forward in life. I felt so guilty – like being happy again would be a betrayal of him. Finally, the Holy Spirit helped me to see that my deceased husband would not want me to live in sorrow for the rest of my life. To be happy again did not mean forgetting him. It only meant letting him go. He was okay – as I believe in heaven. It was okay to find joy again. When I let myself release the heavy grief, I felt like I lost 20 pounds. After a few months I met my current husband who has been a blessing. Letting go of the grief and sorrow did not mean letting go of all the precious memories of my first husband. Your daughter is very wise.

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    1. Wow, Barb. Letting go of the grief and sorrow but not the memories. What a precious way to capture the type of moving on we need to do. I’m so sorry for your loss – but so glad for your find! Blessings to you!

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  3. Ms. O’s precious words of wisdom echo those of our Abba’s love and joy when His prodigal son returned in Luke 15:32 . . . “…he was lost and is found…” Therein lies the eternal security for each of us as we wander along the path our life’s journey Wynne.

    Keep Looking Up … His Best is Yet to Come!

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  4. Wow, Miss O is already filled with such profound wisdom, Wynne. I think Miss O’s Bumpa must have passed her his guidebook to life as they crossed paths. We are the lost and found people. So much truth there.

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  5. We are the lost and found people.

    If we listen to kids, really listen, they each hold wisdom that often gets them a pat on the head and an exclamation of “How cute!”. How much wisdom do we dismiss in our own lives because we don’t give it credence or validation?

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    1. Wow, Tamara, what an astute comment. Right – we need to really listen to these precious beings. They see so much! And as you say, we often dismiss it because we aren’t expecting it or think we’re more experienced. Beautiful! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. …and by extraction, we then tend to diminish the value of our own thoughts, having been at best humored, and at worst ridiculed!

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  6. Miss O’s ‘lost and found people’… so wise… so many other contrasts/ contradictions/ paradoxes – we are mourning and dancing, certain and doubting, proud and humble, wise and foolish…

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    1. Thank you, DM! I agree – she often surprises me with her observations. As Erin/Esoterica suggested above, maybe my dad passed her a guidebook as he left.

      Hope all went well with laying your dad to rest. Sending my best!

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    1. Thank you, Joy! I know your family knows the lost and found circle all too well. Sending you lots of blessings on this Memorial Day weekend for all you do to remember those lost!

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  7. I’ll echo your “whoa”! That’s a fantastic phrase by Miss O. It aptly describes our circle of family and friends as we move through life. I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend 🌞

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  8. Children truly do say the most random profound things ♥.  I often like to remind those who cross my path that life is often lived, on the road to change as we can not discover our true self if we stay stagnant. 

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  9. Miss O is so amazing (and she has a beautiful name). I love that adorable picture of you with your father! This: Seems like the trick is not to get mired in the lost, so that we keep working towards the found. That is such an amazing insight. Yes! Looking forward. That’s so much easier when/if you believe what you said earlier: “new chapters are ushered in after we’ve given something up.” That is true, but it most certainly can’t be easy for everyone to accept/believe unless it’s happened to them enough times to know that it’s true. I believe it, but it’s hard to trust in the moment you’re going through the tough thing. Only time and perspective enables you to see the “new chapter” clearly for what it is. And then, I imagine, some people are still too hurting to be open to see it.

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    1. Wow, what an insightful comment, Betsy. I imagine you are right on that sometimes we are still too hurt to see it. Yes! Thank you for this beautiful reflection. Hope you enjoy the Memorial Day weekend!

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  10. So beautiful… the lost and found people… Miss O is such a thinker, and her heart shows through her words as well. And now, I’m thinking of Lost Boy by Ruth B. I wonder if she’s heard it?

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  11. Wow, chills just imagining how you felt when those very profound words came out of Miss O’s mouth, Wynne.

    Your dad and your wisdom coarse through her veins and soul too! 💕

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