‘‘Understand that the hardest times in life to go through are when you are transforming from one version of yourself to another.” – Mysticool
This post was originally published on 3/29/2023. Heads up – you may have already read this.
It’s something that I’ve found again and again in life – when I need to transform, someone or something shows up to be the catalyst. The Universe sends me a guide in some form or another. Here are some of my favorite examples:
When I was bored after a break-up with a boyfriend and I drove around a corner and Mt Rainier was squarely in my view. It started my amateur climbing career.
After I suffered from being stuck and closed down for a couple of years after my divorce, I received an invitation for a mediation class from my friend, Deirdre.
In my 40s when I was working out what was next in life, I would see images of the English Duchess Kate and start to cry. It totally unnerved me since I wasn’t much of a royal watcher and had eschewed having a family until then. And then I finally realized that I wanted to have kids.
I haven’t known all my guides. For example, researcher and author Brené Brown has been my guide towards being vulnerable and whole-hearted simply through the act of reading her books and listening to her.
As my meditation teacher, Deirdre says – transformation is what we need to be our best selves. Yes, it involves change but our spirits are wired to keep growing and finding the balance of all we can be when we need to evolve or simply have gone too far in one direction.
For me this goes in waves, I’ve changed my body to become a mountain climber only to find after years of doing that, my mind and soul needed to also get in shape through meditation. That change helped me open to understanding it was time for me to become a parent. And then I transformed almost completely to become a parent only to find as my kids age, it’s time to transform again to someone who remembers she has an individual, alive part that needs to dance too.
Perhaps this goes without saying, but the other part that I’ve noticed is that I don’t always get the message the first time. When I ignore the call, sometimes it builds into a crisis. In climbing terms, it goes from being a part of a team with a guide at the front to a rescue where I have to flail at the end of the rope.
Some of these changes are inspired from within and feel like evolution. Others come from the outside with disappointment and heart break and feel like erosion. However it comes, I’ve found it easier to take when I bow my head, put aside my opinion on whether I want it or not, and then look for guides.
Because I’ve found is that the Universe hasn’t left me to do this alone. It sends a guide or a catalyst to kick off the reaction. If you don’t believe in any Higher Power, I think that statement could also be cloaked in social learning theory – that all the people around us are walking advertisements for what we can be next. Whichever it is you believe, my experience has shown me that the guide may or may not be in our lives for the duration but they show up to help us over the threshold to what’s next.
(featured photo from Pexels)
I love the word “catalyst” and you are so right than life has an interesting way of providing us with these individuals or moments that spark a change, transition and if we’re blessed, as we often are, a transformation too! 💕
I love the Mysticool quote at the beginning too.
Happy Wednesday. Almost headed towards the weekend!
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Oh, you are so good at suggesting angles I haven’t seen. Yes, the moments when we get to return the favor and get to be a guide ourselves! Right! Happy Wednesday, dear Ab!
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…”I’ve noticed is that I don’t always get the message the first time”… This is also me, I’m not as fast at learning as I’d like to be. But eventually I ‘get it’. 🙂 And I believe this to be true… “our spirits are wired to keep growing and finding the balance of all we can be”…
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I’m chuckling, Rose, because eventually I get it too. 🙂 Thanks for chiming in!
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Gosh, yes. Repetition has been my salvation more than once. I’m so glad the Universe (and people who love/tolerate me – LOL) understand. I’m adept at blocking things I don’t want to see/learn…😉
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Adept at blocking. Oh yes – I think I can count at least one stretch of 10 years or more when that’s all I practiced…. 🙂
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😉❤️😉
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A timely piece Wynne. I’ve been thinking a lot about what comes next and I notice that I don’t always get the message the first time. Wouldn’t have anything to do with my stubborn ways would it? Gives me some things to think about . . . especially the idea of putting “aside my opinion on whether I want it or not, and then look for guides.” Who knows where it will take me!!!!
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As someone who is exceptionally stubborn, I am totally with you, Brian! Here’s to putting aside those pesky opinions — not sure why I have so many of them! 🙂
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Oh, we all have those self doubts and opinions and things that hold us back Wynne. We just hide them from everyone else. Ha, ha.
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The Mysticool quote is perfection! Gosh, and if I had a dollar for each time I missed the message the first time, I’d be a wealthy woman. And based on the comment, we’re not alone! I wonder why it takes us so long to learn. I guess we need the sign to arrive at just the right time…
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We’re not alone! Isn’t that fantastic to know?? I think you might be right about needing the timing to be right as well. Great insight!
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Great reminder that our next mentor is nearby, waiting for us to recognize them. I am at a time in parenting where it is time to let go of the reins and let our teen start to be independent. Simultaneously it’s time for me to return to my professional writing journey.
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Ah, I love your recognition of those crossroads, Rebecca. Amazing time for both (or all three) of you!
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I love this: “when I need to transform, someone or something shows up to be the catalyst.” That is so true. But we need to be observant to notice and then make a change in our lives.
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Love your insight that we need to be both observant and pliable. So true, Elizabeth!
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It easy to miss the message.
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I wish the Universe were as generous as you experience it, Wynne. In the course of encountering approximately 3000 people who I either treated or evaluated, I heard too many stories that would argue the other side. To the good, I am glad that you have learned and grown and changed. The world is certainly better for who you have become.
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Ah, thank you, Dr. Stein. I imagine for those 3,000 souls, you were a wonderful guide to them. They were lucky to have your gentle wisdom!
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I guess one important skill or intuition(?) would be how to recognize those guides. Another would be to humble ourselves enough to let go and see where that guide is taking us. Great post!
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Ah, such an insightful comment about humbling ourselves. I bet as both and educator and a coach, you have been a guide to many. That’s an amazing role as well!
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Looking back it has been the challenges of life that has caused me to slow down and listen and inevitably the path best chosen is the one I am on but I wouldn’t have chosen it without the challenge.
I am thinking about a very mentor now, we fell into each other’s orbits because of our separate life challenges and became life long family to one another.
Only as we get older though do we learn to stop pushing for solutions instead of listening, waiting and observing for them to reveal themselves.
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What a great comment, David! Yes – we stop pushing for solutions and learn to listen, wait and observe. That’s so right on! Love your comment about your mentor and the challenges that bring us together! So good to see you!
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Thanks Wynne – I appreciate your writing.
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I particularly like, ” all the people around us are walking advertisements for what we can be next”. I never really thought of observing people through that lens before. Thanks for a great post, Wynne. 🙂
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I think that’s a fascinating lens too. I can’t remember where I was reading/hearing about social learning theory but that part stuck!
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Love that quote and your encouraging post! Thank you for sharing with us!
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Thank you for reading and commenting!
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… all the people around us are walking advertisements for what we can be next. That’s a powerful thought, both as inspiration to do better and as a cautionary tale. Of course, the trick is, you have to pay attention to other people.
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And a cautionary tale – so true. I remember seeing a news story about a 52-year-old woman who was the get away driver for a robbery and was caught. I was a bit younger at the time and thought, “sheesh, I hope I’m not doing that at 52.” Not that it was a likelihood…. 🙂
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Yes!!! We are never alone, and we have the resources to achieve all the things we desire.
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Oh, I love your powerful statement, “We are never alone, and we have the resources to achieve all the things we desire.”
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Thank you so much Wynne!
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Oh Wynne, I love that! Evolution or erosion. It’s so so true and you’re right, guides are all around us. The synchronous machinations of something we don’t understand is always working for our benefit. If only we notice and take the hand of our guides.
Thank you for sharing. Such a powerful message.
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If only we notice and take the hand of our guides – that’s so good, Alegria!
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Better to recognize the message later than never at all. The same applies to my life, as well.
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Better late than never – yes!
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Just when zi dont think you csn be anymore inspiring you show me again how much you’re. I can relate a bit to your post. And this book you mentioned I think I will check out.
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Thank you – what a lovely comment!
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Because its the truth Happy Mother’s Day weekend ❤️
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Love this – “It’s something that I’ve found again and again in life – when I need to transform, someone or something shows up to be the catalyst. The Universe sends me a guide in some form or another.” ❤️
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Oh, thank you, Mary!
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I’ve told God many times throughout the years, “I’m dense. I don’t always hear or recognize that ‘still, small voice’ so you need a 2X4 upside the head to Your point across.” I’ve gotten my wish, many times.
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Oh, I’m laughing, Dawn. Only because I can relate so well! 🙂
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Your reflections on transformation are deeply resonant. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve navigated life’s twists and turns with openness and embraced the guidance that comes your way. Your willingness to evolve and grow serves as a reminder to us all to embrace change and seek out the guides that help us along our journey.
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Thank you for a great summary!
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What a journey, recognizing the guides and catalysts in your life is truly inspiring. Keep dancing to the rhythm of life’s transformations, and may your journey continue to be filled with insight and growth.
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Insight and growth – I like that. Thank you, Heng!
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