The Longer I Live, The Less I Know

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“One filled with joy preaches without preaching.” – Mother Teresa

A few weeks ago, an author replied to a comment I’d made on their blog post about meditation. It was something along the lines that I practice more than I preach. It was a genial comment totally appropriate for the conversation.

But it set me back on my heels. Do I come across as if I’m preaching? Heck no, that was my dear father who had the credentials, platform, and audience who asked for it.

It sparked some introspection. I feel some sensitivity in claiming to be an expert in anything. Even in my career that I’ve done for 30 years and have achieved some external accolades, I tend to play down my credentials.

When I think about what works for me, specifically meditation, I know how personal it is to me. My conversations with my beloved dad about his faith were all about how my expression of faith and his differed. Those conversations taught me much – including that I’m more comfortable with working out what works for me, and less comfortable assuming I know what works for others.

Writing has provided me the opportunity to mine a deep well of stories about my children. I consider my children as the experts at being unapologetically human and naturally close to the Source, especially in these younger years. I write to capture what they teach me and the ever-present challenge it is to love well and keep growing.

If I had to name what I’m good at, I’d say it’s having a willingness to try. In the last ten years, and I credit both meditation and my children, I’ve been able to cultivate an openness to others and to life that has helped me learn.

So I reached the ironic point in my introspection, because I think the more I practice, the less I preach. The more that meditation helps to create space between me and my ego, the less I need to control. The longer I do it, the less I know, but the more I believe.

When I screw it up, like a dozen times a day, I get to practice returning. But when I’m in that flow, it improves my ability to listen to the Divine. It’s solidified my goals to love bigger, show up more vulnerably, and help more.

Is that preachy? I hope not.

My book about the conversations and my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith

(featured photo is of my dear dad at a speaking engagement)

69 thoughts on “The Longer I Live, The Less I Know”

  1. No, you are not preaching at all. When I write I try and use the word we as much as possible because I don’t want to come across as preachy. I do agree the older I get the lesser I know.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You provide so many whole-hearted examples of what works…what doesn’t…for you, Wynne. I think I’m stealing a line from Jennifer Lopez…but your presence and sharing in a “This is me” manner is why we read and appreciate you.
    🥰😉🥰

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Preachy? No. What I get out of your post is you being real and honest, and the the warmth of the beautiful relationship you have with your children. And with you being you and sharing you have opened my eyes to another way of looking at something. So never preachy. But inspiring.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. You come off as genuine and kind. Not dogmatic. A loving presence. You needn’t worry, Wynne. The world is lucky to have you.

    Liked by 7 people

  7. You are not preachy, Wynne. I have been reading “Writing and Being” by G. Lynn Nelson because I want to learn how to journal, and when I read your post, I thought about the following: “Once your writing is grounded in its source—your heart and your journal work—once you begin to find the beauty of your own voice and the power of your own stories, you may feel a natural urge to share your writing with others.” I think that encompasses your journey. You are sharing with us beautiful things about yourself and your journey, and I, for one, am learning a lot from you. Another thing that you said that caught my attention, and is discussed in the book, is this: “because I think the more I practice, the less I preach. The more that meditation helps to create space between me and my ego, the less I need to control.” Here is what Dr. Nelson says about that: ‘The more I am centered in my Self, the healthier I am and the better I do in my smaller selves.” The problem with today’s society is that we take everything personally, so a lot of people are afraid to share their opinions or perspectives on life. I like to read different points of view; even if I disagree with an argument, I always learn from what people say. So, let me stop here, and I just want you to know that you are doing great and that you come across as a very genuine person and a wonderful mother. Don’t change and keep doing what you are doing. By the way, my copy of “Finding My Father’s Faith” arrived over the weekend, and I’m really looking forward to reading it.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. What a great comment, Edward. I love what you say about learning from what others say. You have such a great mindset!

      And the quotes you share from Dr. Nelson – so interesting and good. Funny that telling our own stories takes practice but it certainly did for me!

      I’m so grateful to you for reading my book. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and deep well of thinking that I’m so enjoying getting to know!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. However…

    I’d come back to the sentiment attributed to St Francis: ‘Preach… and if necessary use words’. The people who have preached the most powerfully to me are those who don’t use loud, dogmatic words, but those who live humble, consistent, vulnerable lives of compassion and integrity.

    If I can preach in that way then I’m content.

    Liked by 5 people

  9. I don’t find you preachy at all. I love the joy you find in your children’s view of the world. I found when I wrote my SwimSwam swim mom tips, other parents found me preachy. I was trying to help them not make the same mistakes I did. When my daughter was struggling during the COVID shutdown years, I believed I was not the person to give parenting advice and stopped writing that column.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. How interesting that you found that reaction, Elizabeth. I can’t imagine your style as preachy at all. Perhaps it falls on the reader instead. Thank you for the wonderful comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Your posts don’t come across as preachy to me. Rather, you pass along lessons you’ve learned — and you couch them in interesting ways, like packing for mountain climbing. Also, you celebrate themes of authenticity and vulnerability and being humble. That’s an openness of wanting to learn, instead of being a teacher who only delivers with “Thou Shalt Live As I Say” kind of language.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Oh my, a heady topic for bloggers indeed, as we dive deeper and deeper into complex issues often sharing our findings, which, I suppose, can come off as preachy. I’ve never felt that way as I’ve read your essays and posts for several years now. I just try and glean as much as I can from the experiences you share so poetically and beautifully. So no, you are not preachy to me, ever, never, ever. Keep them coming. Love you. Hugs, C

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, what you say about depth resonates so much with me, Cheryl! You’re right – maybe that’s dangerous water but with so much potential to be meaningful. It’s one reason I like your writing so much! Thank you for the very lovely comment, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I think preaching and guiding are two different actions with different intentions and goals.

    You come across as wanting to help guide, especially with Miss O and Mr O, and less about being preachy.

    And it is ironic isn’t it, how the more we practice, the less we preach – and the less we know, the more we open ourselves up to learning and less being ego driven.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Ah, my soul brother. I think you’ve hit it on the head with preaching and guiding. I love how you echo back that irony. It’s funny, isn’t it? And thank you so much for reading all my posts. I appreciate you!

      Liked by 2 people

  14. I see by everyone’s comments that no one hears your words as preachy! Perhaps your understanding of the words is different from others? You have a gift of seeing the lessons in the everyday and sharing them with us in a very interesting way!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ah, you’ve hit such an important point about how I hear preachy. Could be that as a “preacher’s” kid, the word is more loaded for me. Thank you for your lovely comment, Tamara!

      Like

      1. Yes, I find it interesting how we can respond differently to the same word, based on our experiences.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Nope. Not preachy. You experience life warts and all, and then share it with us as a way of saying, “Hey! You’re not alone! If I’ve experienced it, I bet you have too!” How comforting for readers to know that they’re not alone. That—along with your wisdom—is the gift you have to give. If that could even remotely called “preachy”, then preach on, my sister. Preach on!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I can relate to this phrase you wrote: “I’m more comfortable with working out what works for me, and less comfortable assuming I know what works for others.” I know several people who take it upon themselves to tell others what to believe religiously and politically. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons in keeping my peace through these interactions.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. You’re welcome, Wynne, and you are part of the group that I’m following and learning from. I’m a nerd, so I’ll be reading your posts and taking notes. That’s my learning method. So thank you. 🙏🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  19. It can be easy to be preachy when you’re at expert at something. But preachy? You Wynne never are. You’re expert at pulling out the story from the joys and valleys of experiences and always share with such admirable vulnerability. I don’t think you need to doubt your message or its tone. And as you said, there is all that space and so much to learn. I don’t think we can ever stop learning. And we certainly don’t know it all. In fact, the older I get, the more I realize I really don’t know much.
    Keep being you my friend. You’re beautiful. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a lovely comment, Alegria! Thanks for listening and being such a wonderful encourager! You are so good at eliciting the ever-present blessings and joys!! Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. OMG, you are so preachy. You really don’t see that?!

    I’M TOTALLY KIDDING!! I just wanted to leave a comment different from everyone else’s, ha. In truth, you are one of the least preachy people I know.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. I think the conclusion of your introspection matches everyone here’s perception: “The more I practice, the less I preach. The more that meditation helps to create space between me and my ego, the less I need to control. The longer I do it, the less I know, but the more I believe.” And I think that’s what I appreciate most about your writing, Wynne–the humility, curiosity, open-heart, and willingness to have your mind change. Every post is a practice in understanding what it is to be human, and how it feels to connect on a soul-level with others on parallel journeys. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Not preachy only inspiring! And this is so good – ” The more that meditation helps to create space between me and my ego, the less I need to control. The longer I do it, the less I know, but the more I believe.”

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Wow!!!!! Umm…I think I needed to hear this. Thank you for writing something like this. It has given me a certain amount of peace that I needed to get on with the challenges that I need to face. It has given me strength and courage. Thank you 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I don’t ever consider your posts preachy, Wynne! I feel that you share your experiences and insights from them and the lessons you’ve learned along the journey in a way that people can relate to and take what resonates with them. I imagine others using the words you share as stepping stones along their own journey. Thank you for your willingness to be open and share! 💞💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

  30. I’m not sure whether it’s the “practicing” that leads to lessened preaching, of just more living. The more I see and know of the world the more I realize how little I know and how much I need to learn reducing my willingness to tell anyone else what to do of how to live.

    Liked by 1 person

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