Rose-Colored Glasses

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“You know what’s funny? When you look at someone through rose colored glasses all the red flags just look like flags.”- Wanda Pierce

This was previously published on 7/27/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

A few weeks ago I had plans to take my kids to a wedding in Leavenworth, WA a couple of hours away from where I live. On the day we were to leave, my stomach hurt. I chalked it up to a deli sandwich that I’d eaten the day before and loaded the kids into the car anyway. My only concession was to bring a can of Ginger Ale to calm my stomach but I judged my ability to go and take care of two young children was fine because that was as bad as I was going to feel.

I’m a congenital optimist. That is to say, I don’t work at having an optimistic attitude and it took me at least 40 of my 53 years to figure out how deeply my outlook is colored. And even that is an optimistic estimate because I’m still working it out. There are a few things that my optimism has categorically gotten wrong:

  • Dating: Nothing in common? No problem, I just figure that makes it interesting.
  • Traffic: Despite living in a metro area with consistently bad traffic, I always go with the low end estimate of travel time.
  • Weather: When it’s raining, as it does often in Seattle, I think it’s great because that means it going to stop when I want to go out for a walk.

The Ancient Greeks inscribed “Know thyself” at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. I’ve found that self-awareness to be a powerful tool to help correct for my inclinations. Specifically, to help me peel back the rose colored layer that my mind adds to pretty much every scenario. It helps me to add 15 minutes to my travel time, dress appropriately for the weather and realize that I don’t need to sign up for every date.

Even as I’m optimistic that I’ve learned how to adjust for my optimism, life presents me with new opportunities to be self-aware. As I traveled on that trip with my kids out of town, my stomach pains got worse and I had a couple of sleepless nights crammed in a hotel room with my 2-year-old and 6-year-old. Now I realized my optimism had told me that how sick I was when I first got the symptoms was as bad as it was going to get. Oops!

Fortunately, it wasn’t all that bad and I just needed to power through getting us home safely. And since optimism has signed me up for a lot things I think are going to go great and turn out to require a lot of resolve (I can think of at least 2 mountain climbing trips in this category), I am plenty experienced at powering through.

Mark Twain said, “There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.” Maybe that’s because if optimism hasn’t killed us before we reach old age, then it’s poor form if we haven’t figured out that it’s all a trick of the mind. I don’t think my optimism is going to ever go away but when I see it now I laugh and say, “Hi, Old Friend!”

(featured photo from Pexels)

45 thoughts on “Rose-Colored Glasses”

  1. Pingback: Micro-Stories - Wise & Shine

  3. That John Conlee song comes to mind. We are all guilty of doing that. At 53 you are just a kid. Wait until you get pass 60 that is when life becomes real fun.

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  6. Another juicy gem, Wynne. I tamed my cockeyed optimist self down to a level where it doesn’t threaten to topple over and bury me under itself. It was fun while it lasted, but alas, reality needs a little space too, huh? Not that I don’t still enjoy a little optimism, mind you—it’s just that age has brought about a bit more wisdom!

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  8. That Wanda Pierce quote hit me hard! I used to be one to see the world through rose colored glasses and, unsurprisingly, failed to notice all the red flags. Perhaps one of the best signs of maturity is adopting that balanced outlook, where there’s optimism but a keen awareness of reality.

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  9. I wouldn’t say I’m an optimist overall, but I have my upbeat moments. I’m not a pessimist, more of a realist. My glasses aren’t rosy, but they’re the correct prescription for me.

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    1. Here’s to realism! Observe, note, research, expand outward and conclude. There are patterns that repeat themselves without fail and I tend to look to those for insight. I might say that I am definitely not a glass half full person, nor really a glass half empty but perhaps just a ‘oh, there’s stuff in the glass’ type, knowing over time what the result will be often seems pretty predictable. 😉

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  11. The one thing my own optimism always gets wrong is departure times. Whenever Tara and I plan an outing, we set a time for leaving the house the day before…and nearly always depart an hour later than planned. Really, if we were smart, we’d just take the predetermined time and add 60 minutes to it, but nope: optimistic Mark always thinks THIS will be the time we make it out the door on schedule!

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  12. Love this: “Even as I’m optimistic that I’ve learned how to adjust for my optimism…”. You’re a nimble, self-aware optimist — not an unaware sunny side up – always person. It’s a choice. Love it! 🥰

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  13. Insightful post Wynne. I can certainly relate. Optimism is not a fault, but certainly needs to be managed, because in extremes it lacks a portion of the survival mechanism we humans possess.
    US Admiral James Stockdale made an observation during his brutal experience in captivity in a Vietnam prison. He said that those who were overly optimistic about their release perished, but those who had a different mindset, knowing they would one day get out, survived. As he did.
    Perhaps that is the difference between foolish optimism and hope (vision).
    Great post! Thanks for resharing.

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  15. I believe you fall into the glass half full personality. I’m an optimist and my husband can have a negative outlook. His blood type is O negative. I’m B positive. When he’s being negative I state our blood types out loud.

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  17. If we’re lucky, the wisdom of age helps mould our optimism into pragmatism – and it sounds like you’re there now. 😊 And I think faith has something to do with it.

    Better to be a pragmatist and optimist than a pessimist – especially a young pessimist. Which as Twain noted, is truly a sad sad sight!

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  18. Loved reading your take on life, Wynne. The Wanda Pierce quote is spot-on – those red flags do blend in so well.
    Life’s surprises sure know how to test our optimism, but your ability to laugh and say “Hi,

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  19. I realize we do need to be practical, but I think life is much better if we do look at it with rose-colored glasses. My husband always sees things on the “bright” side and I have to pull him back to reality sometimes. But I think his view of life makes it more a joy and I hate being around those who are always a pessimist.

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  20. I think it would be nice to be an optimist for a change. I’m a melancholic, which is a bummer, but that’s what the aforementioned Personality Plus book scored me as. I like to remind my husband, however, that the book also said melancholics are “genius-prone.” At least I’m in good company. But, just for a short while, it would be nice to see life through rose-colored glasses. (That almost sounds like a movie plot.)

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  22. I count myself as a realistic optimist. I was married to a man whose extreme optimism had long ago ventured into the land of magical thinking. Whew! That led to too many disasters and near disasters!

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