One Less Thing To Worry About

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“Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous.” – Confucius

I don’t think of myself as a very controlling person. Every once in a while, my mind wakes me up in the middle of the night to laugh at that statement.

This weekend my kids spent the night at my brother and sister-in-law’s. I like to chalk the anxiety I experienced in advance of that to the fact that they live on a boat and four-year-old Mr. D doesn’t yet know how to swim.

But is it that really?

Then I came across this quote and felt it fit like a glove:

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”

Maya Angelou

Raising my kids is the single most important thing I do. I want to live long enough to see them happily reach adulthood. Fortunately, there is no indication of anything health wise that will cut that short. If all goes well, I’ll be 68 years old when Mr. D graduates from high school and so far I’m managing the creaking joints and other travails that come with age.

But taking a day away from my kids reminded me that they can survive without me. I hope that isn’t ever the case.  But my mind can rest at ease because I’ve been reminded they are surrounded by others who love them and care for them as well.

54 thoughts on “One Less Thing To Worry About”

  5. I love the Maya Angelou quote…what a great message…”a day away”. And the discoveries that come…as a result. Like the reminder that you’ve created a big, beautiful world for Mr. D and Miss O with found family around every corner. xo, my friend! 🥰

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  6. Oh, yes, such a smart move. It heartens me Wynne to know that you have the support system and were willing to do this. It’s so hard to do, but so important for the kiddos and you. It’s kind of a paradox. When I gave up control, I found that I learned so much about my kids and myself. I found I saw them in a new light, I was calmer and more patient. Yes, they may be able to survive without you, but they learn that they don’t want to. What a great lesson.

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      1. Here’s a snapshot into my world. One came home Saturday and I’m getting texts this morning from the other two who can’t wait to come home later this week. When I ask what they want to do, they say, they just want to hang out at home. Yes, I’m sure they’ll be sick of me five minutes after they’re here, but it’s still very cool to hear. Thank you for reminding me what’s important.

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  8. A break can do wonders for your energy. And your kids will be spending the night on a boat!? That’s the kind of stuff they might look back upon when they’re older and smile at fun memories 🌞

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  10. “Raising my kids is the single most important thing I do.”
    Yes, indeed, I agree with you, Wynne.
    I have been called a “hovercraft”, and my husband, a “spoon feeder” for constantly protecting, guiding, caring, being strict, worrying, and loving our kids.
    We are not perfect. We do everything with love and always with our children’s best interest in our hearts and the resources available to us.
    Our kids are grown-up professionals who are responsible, and loving. They call regularly and come home whenever they get a chance.
    Now, our roles have reversed, and they have become our caretakers!

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  11. I bet the kids had a blast!! I always enjoyed staying over with family when I was young. But I can also understand the bittersweet emotions of them being okay away from their mom. As Brian mentioned, it such a gift to have a support system. You may be a single mom, but you’re not raising your kids alone. ❤️

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    1. You’re right, Erin. They had a blast and so did I. I love your beautiful observation, “You may be a single mom, but you’re not raising your kids alone.” Right!! And I love these chances to remember that!! Thank you!

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  12. It’s so normal to worry about our little chicks, especially when they’re away from the nest. I remember when my son went to Mountain School (North Cascades Institute) for three days and while I was simultaneously thrilled to have the house to myself for a few days (my husband was away for work), I also missed him like crazy. I adjusted to the quiet and by the time he came home I’d had a nice little break. Maybe next summer would be a good time for swimming lessons? (It’s never too young to learn how to swim.)

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  15. I love that quote. I’ve never read it before. It seems to me about giving yourself grace, which is something we all need to practice. Very thoughtful post, Wynne. And I’m sure your kids, along with your brother and SIL had a great time 🙂

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  17. It’s wonderful that your kids got to enjoy a visit with their uncle and that you got a night off.

    But I hear you on the anxiety of being separated from your kids and all the “What if” that play in your mind.

    And I can’t wait to read about Mr D’s graduation from high school one day. 😊

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  19. Wise words! Your reflections on taking a day away resonate. It’s a reminder that while raising kids is paramount, acknowledging that they can thrive independently surrounded by love offers peace of mind. How do you find that balance between nurturing and letting go?

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  20. This is so good Wynne, as a mom of young ones, you are working overtime every single day and that does not come with a paycheck or vacations. You absolutely need that “day away” when ever you can get it. I’ll admit, the living on the boat thing gave me pause, but just for a second. I can imagine how much fun that would be for a kid, and as you say, they are with people who love them dearly. And maybe one time, you can trade places, have them watch the kids at your house, and you get the boathouse! Call me when this happens, sometimes I need a “day away” from Larry. Hugs, C

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    1. Oh, you have me giggling, Cheryl! I’ll totally call you when that happens. We can sip wine and go into the hot tub all the while looking at Lake Union. As you point out, the quote reminds us that everyone needs a day away!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  21. They can – and must – survive without you. You get to help them practice this, slowly removing the scaffolding over time. And you’re doing that!! 👏🏼

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  22. Once someone told me that we don’t make children for ourselves but for the world. But we as mothers would like to be there for them forever. And we will be somehow always there for them. How couldn’t it be like that?

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  23. What a blessing to have such a support network! I’m not sure where I would have been without mine when my children were young. I pray they continue to grow their own network to catch them and hold them up when they need it.

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