Friendship Brownies

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“A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us be what we should.” – unknown

This was originally published on 2/9/2022. Heads up – you may have already read this.

After I wrote that post on Vulnerability last week, I had lunch with my friend Doug. He was the person I mentioned in the post as the friend who’d asked about the blog and then not responded when I shared it with him. Turns out that he’d both read and liked the writing very much but just had forgotten to respond. We had a good laugh about that. Fortunately I’d written another post about him on my personal blog that we could also talk about.

Doug is planning a climb of Mt. Adams with his son this summer. It’s a 12,280 foot mountain in Washington State – tall enough to be a challenge but not technical enough to need a lot of equipment and training. The last time we summitted this mountain was with his daughter about 10 years ago when she was 14 years old.

Doug asked if I remembered what packs we carried between our camp at about 9,000 feet and the summit. He is a meticulous packer and doesn’t carry anything more on his back than necessary.

I have a long history with backpacks – picking them out, carrying them, feeling relieved to take them off. At one point when I was in my thirties and planning a lot of climbing trips, I got one that was almost 6000 cubic inches. I can’t even describe how large that is but suffice it to say that when you have a backpack that big, your friends start believing you have room to carry their stuff.

Which is what happened when we were planning a climb on Mt. Rainier that would take place over Doug’s birthday. His wife asked me if I would carry some brownies up to celebrate Doug’s birthday. It was only after I happily agreed that she told me that Doug said he wouldn’t carry them because he didn’t want that unnecessary weight in his pack.

It is probably all this carrying of loads that makes one of my favorite meditations the one where I imagine I sit down, empty everything out of my pack, look carefully at each thing I’m carrying. When I’m done sorting through the worries, the presumptions, and fears as well as the love, the purpose, the nostalgia, the energy stored for digging deep, I mentally load the pack again with only what I need. I always carry a lighter load after that meditation.

But in thinking about those brownies, I realize that friendship means we are willing to carry things for other people that they won’t carry for themselves.

We hold in our packs a version of our friends at their brightest and most creative that can be shown to them when they are in a slump. We carry memories of the times we laughed, did silly things, failed and succeeded. We store all the depth of the ways we have walked side by side on the path as well as the times we waited at an intersection while they took a detour and vice versa.

Then at just the right moment, we unpack the brownies we’ve carried so far and celebrate our friends. There are some things worth the extra weight and friendship is one of them.

I’ve written about another powerful climbing story on Wise & Shine – Climbing to the Top of the Rankings.

(featured photo is my own – Mt. Elbrus, Russia)

26 thoughts on “Friendship Brownies”

  2. A beautiful post, Wynne. I love that image of how you visually unpack your thoughts and emotions and repack the only essentials that you need. Such a great tool to help manage with the loads of each day. How blessed we all are to have friends like Doug (and yourself) and brownies to enjoy and share with each other.

    Enjoy the rest of your week!

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  4. “I realize that friendship means we are willing to carry things for other people that they won’t carry for themselves.” Isn’t that true of the love we feel in all our relationships? True love is a willingness to put the needs of others before our own.

    Now I want brownies! LOL

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  5. You do realize that the idea of friendship brownies instantly sends me back to high school and hash brownies… that friends had… and shared. Not the kind you’re talking about though, right?

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  11. Powerful, “I realize that friendship means we are willing to carry things for other people that they won’t carry for themselves.” I’m going to noodle on this for a while. Hugs, C

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  13. What a lovely tale and lesson on the packs we carry and the quality of things we carry in them. 💞💞💞 I think I need plan an unpacking day for myself after the holidays and evaluate everything in my pack! Thank you, Wynne! 💞

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