The Practice of Kindness

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“As rain falls equally on the just and the unjust, do not burden your heart with judgment but rain your kindness equally on all.” – Buddha

For Christmas, Miss O bought Mr. D a Buzz Lightyear spaceship. It was a big deal for her – she picked it out and paid for it all by herself. Then she hid it away in a spot in the laundry room she thought was safe and guarded his access to that room for three or four weeks. I cut the wrapping paper for her but she wrapped the present herself and placed it in the perfect spot under the tree.

Then on Christmas morning when he opened the present, she was right next to him. She helped him opened the box and then started assembling the few pieces that needed to be attached. She was being really helpful and had so many reasons to be proud but there was a point where the gift really became more important to Miss O than Mr. D.

Watching this all, I thought of all the times that I’ve tried to control how my kindness lands or had that done to me. It perfectly illustrated for me how letting go of control is so essential so I wrote it about this topic for my Heart of the Matter post today: When Kindness Falls Like Rain.

(featured photo from Pexels)

24 thoughts on “The Practice of Kindness”

  1. Man-oh-man I just had a conversation this very hour about what actual kindness means. You can only behave kindly then see what happens. It’s an attitude not control. But you realize that.

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  2. I hate when people say, I have said what needs to be done. It is now up to you. The tone sets in the control. Anyway I have a little brother so I can understand your daughter 😊.

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  3. I think we’ve all been in Ms. O’s shoes before. And it really illustrates how we can become so invested in the gift or kindness that we really do expect a certain response. P. S. I hope that Mr. D loved it though! 😊

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    1. You are so right, Kendra – we’ve all been in Miss O’s shoes before. And it’s so well-intended. It certainly makes me think about my actions. Geez, I watch these things play out between my kids and realize how much I have to learn…

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  4. Love the concept of a “near enemy” and a “far enemy” and I absolutely agree that control is a near enemy of kindness. We can’t and shouldn’t control where and how kindness lands.

    With that said, Miss O seems to have kindness at her core. Figuring out her need to control and learning to let go of it will be a part of her maturity and a wonderful blessing for you to have a front row seat for that journey.

    Enjoy your weekend together!

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    1. You have such a great point about Miss O’s growth and maturity will hopefully temper the control. It is so interesting to have a front row seat — for the things I realize about myself!

      Thanks, Ab. Hope you all are having a great weekend together as well.

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  5. Good intentions coupled with detachment are not the easiest thing to learn at. any age but especially when you’re that young! Kudos to Miss O for wanting to do something so special for her brother 🙂

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  7. Ok, yikes. I’m probably doing this with my mom. I tell myself I’m trying to be kind, but I’m realizing what I want is to try and control what’s going on (or not going on for that matter). Ugh. Finding the balance and the boundary is difficult. I can also see where Miss O is coming from with her big heart! ❤️

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  9. Kindness with control is like giving with strings attached. Best to let go of expected outcomes and allow things to develop organically!

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