The Whole Mountain

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“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday, I was driving near an elementary school when I saw two school busses. My heart felt a deep pang of missing my children. Which is funny because my kids don’t even take the school bus. But I was driving in New Jersey, not in Seattle and since this is my first trip on an airplane by myself in 7 years, I guess that my heart isn’t being picky about what triggers it.

I once heard some very sage advice about what to do when we’ve grown weary around the people we love most – back up so you can see the whole mountain. And it spoke to me because often when I’ve climbed mountains, I’ve found them to be a lot of sweaty, hard work. And yet every time I see one, especially Mt. Rainier my “home” mountain, I am struck speechless, even for just a second, by my awe.

Back up and see the whole mountain to me speaks of finding the edge where our familiarity begins. And also of being able to trace the contours of the well-worn path where we often go with our dear ones. It calls me to picture in my mind the beautiful wholeness of my loved ones faces and the expressions that I most love to see on them. And when I’ve backed up far enough, I feel the pang of my ache for my beloveds deep in my body and know where they reside in me.

I’ve had three nights away from my young children. No one has spit half-eaten food in my hand or used my clothing as a napkin (and boy, wouldn’t that be weird if that had happened on business trip?). I haven’t been called in to witness grand accomplishments of using the bathroom and I’ve been able to sleep, eat and work out without interruption.

It all sounds great except I’ve had to do all that without my heart which remains at home with my beautiful children. Like climbing a mountain, my life is a lot of sweaty, hard work. But wow, I’m so glad I backed up enough to be able to see how much I love it, them and this beautiful inspiration called life!

How do you restore your love when (or if) it ever feels a little worn thin?

(featured photo is sunset from the airplane)

34 thoughts on “The Whole Mountain”

  1. Excellent question. No real other answer other than to say I create space, either physical or mental, between me and whoever it is that I love who is temporarily bugging the snot out of me.

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    1. Great strategy. Until you typed it, I didn’t understand that I’ve been having trouble doing that with my kids because they tend to follow me everywhere. Thanks, as always, for the food for thought, Ally! Hope you have a great Friday!

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  2. Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder! I love the mountain analogy. I think having that silence and alone time to yourself gives you the opportunity to see the whole mountain instead of the things immediately in front of you, like spit-up food. I hope you do enjoy this time alone to yourself to recharge before you get back to the kids you adore and love!

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    1. I’m laughing about the spit-up food because you are right, it’s hard to ignore when its immediately in front of me. Thank you, Ab, for the wonderful understanding and encouragement! It’s nice to be in the same time zone with you for a change! Happy Friday!

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  4. Morning, Wynne! Yes….I would be concerned if you were being used as a human napkin — by anyone other than the kiddos. Thanks for the giggle and imagery. 😉
    I love Ally and Ab’s thoughts about space and distance. Ditto — I’ve learned I need to create some gaps….even when it’s hard to orchestrate…or I invariably end up regretting something I say or do — or think. Yes to breathing room! Xo!

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  5. Isn’t there always that initial 24 hours after arriving home that renews a mom when she’s been away? You feel almost exalted during that short time of freedom even though you also miss the little snot monsters. There’s honestly a moment as you drive toward home that you contemplate turning the car in the opposite direction for just a few more hours… but then the faces are in front of you and the hugs start and you resume the routines and you wonder how you could ever leave them again…

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    1. Oh, what a lovely description, Deb! I’m at the airport so I haven’t finished the ritual yet but I can’t wait for the hugs to start and to wonder how I could ever leave them again! Thanks, my friend!

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  6. Can’t say I felt the need to restore love, more like a need to restore my reserves. When I find myself in the state of overwhelm and others, especially loved ones, are asking much of me, I go off into nature, or my sunny, silent library writing room to catch my breath. Sometimes, like you Wynne, a solo trip is the elixir. I often extend my business trips so I can just enjoy site-seeing before returning to the needs of those I care for.

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  9. Ohhh this post is so beautiful and touching 💖 Firstly, can you confirm you’re in the Seattle area? I always wondered. And nice to hear you’re on the East Coast! I’m in PA (Philly area and NJ is my neighbor!) 🌞 Hmm since I don’t have children I can’t exactly relate to this kind of feeling, but I know when I spend time with my family and then drive away, I often cry because I love them so much. And at those times, I let myself cry and ache, listen to music, and often tell them once I’ve calmed down a bit 🤣 I think it’s a beautiful thing to feel pain from, and wow are we lucky to be living with our hearts so wonderfully open and grateful 🌺🌺🌺🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰

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    1. Oh, I love how open you are, Libby! Yes – cry and ache and listen to music. And then tell them. That’s so wonderful.

      Yes, I live in Seattle. Right at this moment I’m sitting at JFK waiting for my flight. I thought you might be nearby! And if you ever get out to Seattle – please come stay with us!!

      We are so lucky – you are so right!! Sending big hugs to the open-hearted and wild loving you!

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      1. Yes I just love making new blogging friends! And I will absolutely let you know if I’m ever headed to Seattle. If you’re in the Philly area, always let me know, I can always make time for coffee with a blogger friend of mine! Safe travels xoxo

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  10. A poignant, humorous testimony Wynne that be it grand mountains or grand “bathroom accomplishments”,
    absence does make the heart grow fonder, and both you and your precious 2 little ones will enjoy a fond reunion together.

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  11. Wynne, you such a way with words. If I hadn’t already been right there with you, this part would have done it for me:

    “No one has spit half-eaten food in my hand or used my clothing as a napkin (and boy, wouldn’t that be weird if that had happened on business trip?). I haven’t been called in to witness grand accomplishments of using the bathroom and I’ve been able to sleep, eat and work out without interruption. It all sounds great except I’ve had to do all that without my heart…”

    And I too love the mountain analogy. It’s so perfectly fitting. Beautiful post! 🤍

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  12. LOL, I’m laughing at being used as a human napkin! I remember when my daughter was small, and when the grandkids were, they’d do that to me too, then give an impish grin. They absolutely knew they shouldn’t be doing that!

    One thing I did, and my daughter does, is when we feel the emotions beginning to surge, we tell the kids ” please go to your room now, I need some space to sort out my emotions. I’m feeling quite upset right now, and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. Letting them know we have feeling too, that we struggle with our feelings, is okay. We don’t need to be perfect parents. They need to know that we have feelings too and that this is how we’re dealing with them.

    I lived 1000 miles away from them a few years ago and got to see them only once per year. It was really hard, gut-wrenching actually. They’re part of the air that I breathe! I now live around 3 hour’s car drive away, so not too bad. We get to see each other more often. The heart wants what the heart wants! Enjoy your time off, and come back feeling refreshed!

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    1. I love the intentional space taking that you and your daughter take. And what a wonderful reminder that we don’t have to be perfect parents and that they need to know we have feelings too!

      How wonderful that you are closer and can see them more often. Beautifully said – the heart ants what the heart wants!

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      1. I’m so grateful to be living closer to them. We get to see each other on every major holiday, birthdays and just in between stuff ! What a blessing! I foresee you having wonderful relationships with your kids when they grow up!

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  13. I read inspiring funny blogs like yours lol loved your joke in there, I think we have a similar sense of humor. I also take some me time or I like to say God time but that phrase scares my daughter due to past religiosity lol so I say me time, me hour, me day. Me, Me, me, which may involve a nap, yoga, meditation with music, blogging my heart out, crying for my dad, or whatever strikes my mood. Actually my favorite lately is to tidy. I love order and this week I have tidied and gone through almost all my belongings and dropped off the unwanted to the thrift store today! Huge sense of accomplishment…keep on keeping on! They are only young for a while and if your’e like me when they grow older we yearn to spend time with them as they spend more time with friends or at a full time job. I take what I can get these days and do have regular family dinners with all my kids and granddaughter! She took two steps by herself the other night!!!! Love it:)

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    1. Two steps – that’s wonderful, Victoria!! And I love your regular family dinners – what a neat way to all be together.

      You’re right, they are only this little for a short time. I love your tidying – that sounds so refreshing to me!

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      1. Thanks Wynne! The best part of our regular family dinners is that my adult daughter photographs and videos much of the evenings! Memories I keep to show my granddaughter one day❤️

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  15. I lie on my yoga mat in corpse pose and let the earth hold me for a time. Only way I feel grounded at times❤️😍😌

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