The Formula

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“One filled with joy preaches without preaching.” – Mother Teresa

When I would golf with my dad and a stranger was added to our group, I always found it interesting to see how people would react when they found out that he was a pastor, or retired pastor. Of course, not everyone asked but more often than not it would come up. I remember being out golfing with my dad once and my dad’s ball ricocheted off a tree and very luckily landed really near the green. The guy golfing with us said something like, “Wow, the Big Guy really is looking out for you.”

My dad just laughed. I think it’s fair to say that he didn’t think God spent any time worrying about his golf game. And he was so good humored that sometimes it was hard to figure out how he approached life because he made it look so easy and delightful.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all the in-depth conversations we had, especially in those years right before he died suddenly in a bike accident at age 79. What I’ve concluded is that there were three things that came together so that he appeared to glide through his golf game … and life.

First was his attitude. Wherever my dad was, he looked around for what he could do to help. So when golfing, wherever the ball landed he’d think it was great because that’s where he could be useful. And it wasn’t just his ball – when I would hit in the woods, as I frequently did, he’d be the first person tromping in there to help me find mine, laughing and good-naturedly joking all the way.

Second was his faith. My dad was sure he could hit from anywhere because his faith had taught him his work was in partnership with God. If he had to hit out from a bed of pine needles stuck between three trees, he would try. He didn’t expect that God would make it easy but he did think that God would make it meaningful.

Third, was his personality. He was such an enthusiastic, caring person that you just wanted to be around him. He never entered a room with an authentic compliment for those he greeted. And his eyes were almost permanently crinkled from the delightful twinkle in his eyes. He’d make you believe that you could also do anything, especially with him by your side. And he believed he could do anything because he had God by his side.

He remarked to me several times that people had said to him that he’d led a blessed life. He knew his life had plenty of trouble. Thinking back to my early years when we lived as a family for almost 6 years in the Philippines after Ferdinand Marcos had declared Martial Law, I’d concur that my dad faced plenty of obstacles. But in the end, he agreed he’d lived a blessed life – not free of ups and downs but full of meaning and love.

That’s the formula that I’ve come up with from my dad – love where you are at, believe you are not alone and care for others along the way. I don’t know if the guy we golfed with gleaned any of that but I know even now, seven years after his death, my dad continues to inspire me to do the same.

26 thoughts on “The Formula”

    1. You are so right, Rosaliene! I still hear him cheering my on from the sidelines and I know that having a dad like that made all the difference in my growing up, my faith and my heart! Thanks for such a lovely comment!

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  3. “he agreed he’d lived a blessed life – not free of ups and downs but full of meaning and love” this is powerful!

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  4. “He didn’t expect that God would make it easy but he did think that God would make it meaningful.”

    This right here sims up a wonderful attitude to life and to faith. No wonder your dad glided through life in a way that seemed effortless.

    And to have lived through the Marcos years is definitely the life experience!!! 🙏

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    1. I love how you used the word “glided” Ab – that’s exactly it.

      And yes, the Marcos years. There was an incident where my mom almost got sent to Camp Crame for a traffic accident…

      Hope you guys have a great weekend!! ❤

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    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment, Shelley. Yes, it was a shock to lose my beloved father suddenly but I will always be SO GRATEFUL that I listened to my inner voice in the years before he died and sat down to ask him all the questions that I could think of about his life and his faith. I’ll miss him forever but I find that he just becomes more and more of me as time passes.

      And I love how you put it, he made joy and faith his choice. Thanks as always for reading and making such insightful and meaningful comments!

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  8. That was truly lovely, Wynne. What a nice remembrance of your father. What a great guy, so full of life lessons learned and shared. Thank you for sharing them with us as well. And you always manage to find such apropos quotes to for the top of your posts.

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    1. What a wonderful comment. I always feel closer to my dad when I manage to write about him in a way that others can see him. So thank you for coming along that journey with me, my friend! ❤️

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting, Chaya! I absolutely adored my father and it’s so much fun to share him through writing with people like you who are willing to walk with me in appreciation of him!

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