Selective Hearing

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“The years teach much which the days never knew.” – unknown

Have you heard the advice that Ruth Bader Ginsburg gave to Jennifer Lopez about relationships? It was something like, “It’s good to be a little deaf sometimes.”

I’ve been working on practicing that lately. My daughter snapped at me yesterday first thing in the morning for waking her first or not getting her brother up first, I can’t remember which. Whichever it was, I’m quite certain it needed no response.

Here is the list of times that are usually the best candidates for being deaf in my house:

  • First thing in the morning
  • When anyone is hungry, cold or tired
  • Anytime someone is sick
  • When excitement because a friend has arrived is at its fevered pitch
  • Last thing at night

I’m working on my own balance of when things need to be addressed. Maybe it’s 10 days of being together with no interruption but I’m finding less retort and more love is more effective. It’s not that I’m abdicating in my role as a parent, just that I’m saving my breath for our quieter moments.

My beloved dog, Biscuit, went selectively deaf as he got older. Somehow he couldn’t hear me calling him when he was sniffing something with great interest. But he never failed to hear the sound of the food hitting his metal bowl. I’m starting to think that deafness might not an infirmity that comes with age. Instead it seems it’s a sign of wisdom.

20 thoughts on “Selective Hearing”

  2. My dad wore hearing aids in his later years. My mom’s response was, “He could hear me if he wanted to.” Of course, he loved her when he heard her and when he didn’t, for almost 60 years. But he spent a lot of time at work!

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  4. Selective hearing during the daily madness of parenting and of life in general is a great survival mechanism! 😊 Just wait until our kids are teenagers – they will be masters of that skill as well. 😆

    Happy Monday and good luck with the rest of your week!

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    1. I’m laughing about the teenagers part. My daughter has been wearing headphones while playing her Switch. I think she’s well on her way to selective hearing.

      Maybe it’s just me but sometimes I get caught up in the “I’ve got to teach them to be decent humans” story and forget that sometimes I can just relax, ignore some things and love them through it. Noting the times that is generally best helps set me at ease!

      Hope you guys have a great week!

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      1. Yup, the headphones are one of the early signs. 😆

        And I hear you on the “I’ve got to teach them” mentality. It’s hard not to get caught up in these moments as a parent. It’s good you are self aware and I have faith you will find a balance.

        More snow over here. 😆 1 day closer to the weekend. Take caeeb

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  5. Yes to this! Very good advice. I know I can get a little snappy when stressed and I am very thankful that my partner will ignore it.

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